What IS Tantric Sex? How Do We Get Started?

Written by on November 5, 2017 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 0 Comments


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By  | Best Health Magazine

Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means ‘woven together.’ Hindu and Buddhist meditationpractitioners use sexual union as a metaphor for weaving together the physical and the spiritual: weaving man to woman, and humanity to the divine. The purpose is to become one with God. The Western form of this sacred sexuality called Tantra teaches slow, non-orgasmic sexual intercourse. Couples in my practice who have tried tantric sex find that they cultivate great sensual pleasure and also a sense of ‘dissolving into each other’ that is profound and loving. The purpose is to become enlightened, not to win an Olympic medal for carnal gymnastics.

Related Article: The [Quantum] Mechanics of Tantric Sex

Here is an introductory tantric exercise. Begin by facing each other and gazing into each other’s eyes’clothes on. Focus on one of your partner’s eyes; this keeps you intimately exposed. (Some people look back and forth between the two eyes to reduce the tension, but that’s cheating!) Eyes are windows to the soul, so you are gazing into his soul, he into yours. Next, synchronize your breathing: Breathe in together, exhale together. Then move into breath exchange: You inhale when he exhales, then exhale when he inhales, as though you’re breathing each other in. Practise this for at least 10 minutes.

To take this into sexual Tantra, try the same process but with clothes off. Sit on his lap, facing him, and wrap your legs around his waist. Do the breath exchange, but move into kissing and caressing. In time, begin slow intercourse, but continue caressing and kissing. Keep eye contact. Here is where things get interesting; as you become more proficient, you can develop the ability for prolonged orgasm. For both women and men, this is a variation on multiple orgasms; you remain at the peak of ecstatic pleasure without climaxing. There are all the feelings of a typical orgasm, but it lasts for many minutes (or even hours), without a traditional orgasm. This leads to profound sexual and emotional merging.

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Related Article: 4 Tantric Sex Positions : Understand WHY you NEED to learn Tantra

In our modern overscheduled lives, we rarely stop and intently focus on our partner. Practising tantric sex can enhance your relationship and your sexual pleasure in several ways. First, emphasizing breath and connection creates a deep level of intimate contact. This alone can open your heart to feeling closer, more loving and more forgiving. Second, the slow pace of tantric lovemaking will allow you to explore the sensual range of your bodies and minds. Making love for an hour or more is like turning a fast-food burrito into an epicurean feast. Both will satisfy your hunger, but the feast brings you more pleasure, delight and profound satisfaction. Third, while you may balk at the idea of avoiding climaxing, these practices can help you both develop sexual ecstasy and connectedness far beyond that of a typical orgasm.

Cheryl Fraser, Ph.D., is a psychologist and sex therapist who lives in Duncan, B.C. She teaches a couples’ workshop, the Awakened Lover Weekend. What do you think? Do you have your own advice to share?


Editor's Note:  Each individual arrives at sexual self discovery at different times. In each case it is at the perfect time. Once the process begins and the “door is opened, just a crack…” the process unfolds perfectly, in exactly the perfect time, place and situation.    For some of us that happens early in our lives, for others much later, as we only begin to open to our Self in our later, more mature  years.

Tantra and Tantric Sex has been practised for millennia , but for each of us it is “new” at the moment it peaks our curiosity, or becomes the experience that takes our breath away, demanding that we go deeper into the calling. The only prerequisite is an open mind, an open heart, and a willingness to experience something different.  

There is no judgement, no criticism, no right or wrong. We are leaving those energies where they belong and setting forth at precisely the perfect moment in Divine Timing into the Now that claims us. This may be that time for you. 


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