Mimi Shannon | all things healing
“Playing small is epidemic. Circumstances and related belief systems carried unconsciously through millennia influence this ongoing collective decision of many to dim their own light.” (Excerpted from The ABC’s of Self-Love)
Playing small hurts. It not only requires constant attention and energy to tuck in and hide who you really are, but by doing so, you are also denying the world the unique gift that being you offers. Think of yourself as a piece of colored glass in a magnificent stained glass window. If you block the light coming through you, a shadow is cast on those around you. Instead of contributing to the whole, you have taken away from it.
For many years I hurt. In my family it was dangerous for me to be my true self, so in order to survive, I did my best to trim my wings, tame my enthusiasm, and hide my effervescence. I didn’t like being someone else, but on the other hand, I didn’t like being punished for being me. So, in effect, I put on a mask and clothes that were way too small and painfully lived that way for so many years that I forgot who I really was.
Self-love helped me not only discover my true colors but also helped me find and use my light switch, encouraging me to eventually turn it all the way up. For many years the Universe baited me with Marianne Williamson’s compelling words: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” I struggled with the possibility that I might be powerful, that there might be light in the darkness but I ran away from it over and over. Until one day…
Until one day, I hurt so much from squeezing myself into a box that could never contain me, hurt so much living a lie that was destroying my life, hurt so much silencing my voice that had so much to say, hurt so much from not listening to my heart that I couldn’t hold my breath any longer, and I began to leak light all over the place. At first I panicked and ran around trying to plug the holes but once they were open, they were open, and life force began to flow through me like never before. And, for the first time in my life, I began to experience joy.
We are all BIG. We may not know it, we may deny it, we may try to dodge it, but we are! “Self-love helps us traverse the seemingly dangerous land between small and BIG. It’s not really dangerous; it’s just unknown. Choosing to be BIG is a natural step in the process of choosing to be more of who you are by choosing to love yourself.” (Excerpted from The ABC’s of Self-Love)
