How to Find That Something That Feels Missing

Posted by on February 3, 2018 in Conscious Evolution, Conscious Living with 0 Comments

By Christine Rodriguez | Tiny Buddha

“The spiritual path is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don’t know it.” ~Marianne Williamson

I remember it as if it happened yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst tightening of my chest that I had ever experienced. My heart was racing uncontrollably, my hands were clammy and cold, and nothing I did brought relief.

I prayed. I chanted. I tapped. I prayed and then prayed some more.

I thought I was going to die. I started to immediately regret all of the things I hadn’t said, all of the things I hadn’t done, and all the ways I’d failed to truly enjoy my life.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally fell asleep just to wake up in another panic because my entire body was wired from head to toe. To make matters worse, I needed to be in court bright and early (more on that later).

I remember walking into my cardiologist’s office in a panic. He insisted nothing was wrong and that I should consider quitting my job.

“Quit my job?” I laughed out loud several times.

His face was stoic. He was not joking. Sh** just got real.

After wearing a heart monitor for thirty days because I needed to get to the bottom of these debilitating episodes, thankfully, I learned that my heart was functioning just fine. But, the symptoms were a message about a much bigger problem.

I needed a makeover. I needed a blank canvas.

Up until that moment, I had lived my life checking items off a list—a list society tells us we need to tackle if we want to be happy and successful, both extremely subjective words.

The list looks something like this:

  • Get the degree. Check.
  • Buy the expensive property. Check.
  • Be a “good” person. Translation: overextend yourself and be everything to everyone. Check.
  • Dive into a soul-sucking career for the sake of prestige and money. Check.
  • Play it safe. Check.

Well, I had pretty much checked off the whole list. Yet, I could not shake off this deep desire to find something that felt missing. I felt empty, sad, and angry most days, yet I covered it up with a smile and fake gratitude.

I’d lost my connection. I’d lost myself. I had no idea who I was. I did not know what to believe in.

It was like I was waking up from a deep sleep. My soul was craving meaning, depth, and connection. I needed to release all of the beliefs that had kept me hostage to fear and zombie-like comfort.

My day job as a lawyer was adding a layer of stress to my life that I could not shake off. I knew that this was not the path my soul intended, yet I needed the money, so it was not time to leave just yet. And to make things more confusing, I was good at it. My brain would trick me into thinking I needed to stay in that career.

While I managed my responsibilities during the day, most nights I consume more spiritual material than most do in a lifetime. I was in search mode. Although I learned many beautiful philosophies and teachings, this consumption of information was not the answer I was seeking.

I sought coaches, attended seminars, and read almost every book under the sun, yet the feeling of connection eluded me.

Why? Because I was trying to soothe myself from the mental plane and I forgot to feel my way through the process. I did not know how to connect to my body, and I certainly was not in touch with my right brain—the center of intuition and creativity.

From that point onward, I committed myself to soul work. The road was long and windy. There were rivers of tears along the way.

During this time, I discovered things I’d kept hidden from myself and got to know myself in new ways. I was peeling back layers that slowly revealed my true self.

One of my biggest revelations during my journey is that, although I was living like an extrovert, my essence is one of an introvert. I discovered that I am highly sensitive and empathetic. It was difficult for me to accept this because I associated introversion with shyness, weakness, and weirdness, but the more I felt into this truth about myself, the more I started to love the real me.

My introversion taught me about the beauty of downtime. It helped me feel into my body and learn all the things she needed at any given time to feel relaxed and nourished.

I realized I’d been living too fast, checking off lists, too busy “being productive” and making sure that I was pleasing everyone. But, I rarely checked in with myself to process my feelings, or to feel into what I really needed. I learned that I had abandoned my needs most of my life in the name of acceptance.

Much of this process involves facing what we have denied to ourselves for so long. It is painful, but extremely powerful. The gold at the end of the rainbow: I feel more inspired, refreshed, and connected. That is the theme of my life.


So, what are some of the lessons that you can expect when you say yes to soul work?

Embrace your feelings—even the dark ones.

You can’t be happy all the time. It’s not possible, so please do not try. Do not chase happiness.

This beautiful universe is all about duality. How could you possibly love the light without experiencing the dark?

You can’t. Because you would not have a reference point.

And, what is the fastest path to the light?


They are the gateway to your soul.

I’m not referring to your everyday emotions, which can feel like a rollercoaster at times. I’m talking about deep reflection. I am talking about the feelings that are trying to deliver messages to you all day long.

The good. The bad. The ugly.

An amazing mentor taught me one of the most powerful processes for releasing negative emotions.

It just requires breathing and focus on the feeling. Once you feel the energy of an emotion, it shifts and moves as you breathe into it. There are so many insights that come to the surface when you remove the initial layer and make room for the expression of the pain.

Once the veil of pain is removed, you reach a higher perspective, where you see any situation from a higher plane and not just with your limited human eyes.

Ask yourself:

What am I constantly thinking about that’s bringing me down?

What do I long to release but haven’t been able to?

Then ask your feelings:

What are you here to teach me and breathe?

Feel the feeling; breathe into it. Feel it shift and move inside of you.

Listen. And then write whatever insights you receive. Do not judge yourself at any point. These are your feelings and they are real to you.

When I asked these questions, I had to admit to myself that I was continually expecting people to behave and feel like me, and when that did not happen, I felt disappointed. This way of processing the world was bringing me down, so I reevaluated my relationships.

I realized that I had resentment because I felt like I was a giver in most of my relationships. Why? Because over-giving stems from not checking in and slowing down. I stopped being only a giver. I learned how to receive. I started to express my feelings and most importantly, I started to feel into my needs and say yes to them.

At first, it felt selfish, but then it became necessary. The more I connected with myself and learned about my true needs, the more available I was for deeper and more authentic connections with the world.

Let your inner wisdom be your guide. It knows how to best navigate your life.

We listen to opinions all day long, unconsciously and consciously. People with good intentions want to tell us how we should do things, or how we should feel, think, and act.

While I personally believe that the universe delivers messages through others sometimes, the ultimate filter of your life must be your inner wisdom, that piece of unconditional love that guides you.

This guidance is available to all of us.

Ask yourself:

What am I refusing to see?   

What am I ignoring?  

What am I hiding from myself?

You may not get answers at first, but you will start to build a connection to your inner world.

Our brains will always have a conditioned response to these questions, but when we breathe and feel into the answers, a new message may emerge for you. A new perspective may be shown to you.


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