This Simple ‘Diet’ Will Bring You Closer to the Ones You Love (Including Yourself)

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I often go on Digital Diets.

And guess how much I lose?

Nothing. Not one thing!


I gain.

Because I'm not in touch ‘out there’, I become more in touch ‘in here’.

The subtle knowings and lessons from Spirit are able to reach my usually hustin' and bustlin' mind. I deepen into an area of trust in my own life and effortlessly roll with life’s events in a way that surprises.

And because my time is not distracted by my cherished iphone and computer, I have time to really listen to my children.

Whenever I am truly present with them, the rewards are always staggering.

I remember the first time I truly unplugged and, plugged in…


It was December 2010. That Christmas was lean on gifts and I moved myself and my three children to another province. This move removed them from everyone they had ever really known and we were going to start anew based on guidance that my daughter had given me, confirmed by a meditation and a pendulum swing. Three weeks before, I totalled our family van, resulting in us taking a nineteen hour bus ride in the middle of a snowstorm.

We went to see the home I located on Craigslist for the first time. Even though the home was a downgrade from the house they grew up in, they each found something great in it.  We waited in the empty home for 7 days wondering if the less than ethical moving company that I hired would in fact deliver our belongings.

We made a trip to Value Village to outfit them for their first few days of school while I prayed that our stuff would come.

All the while I was staggered that there was not one complaint from them. Not one.

There was no whining in the uncomfortable Greyhound seats, no complaining that they won't see their friends anymore, no crying that we had no beds, tv or underwear. Come on… kids aged 10, 9 and 5 notcomplaining??

I wondered what it was. And then I realized… wow…

THAT is the potency of being 100% present in relationships!!

Children are naturally more present. Without electronic distractions they are pretty much yours.

But adults, well… we require some reminders on what that may mean.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Put away the phone. Just put it away. Once you've done a head count to make sure everyone is home, what else do you need it for? Everything can wait. I mean everything.

2. Turn off all electronics (on occasion I have disconnected the cable box to help facilitate this).

3. Remind yourself that nothing is more important than the moment you are having. Nothing.

That's it.

Relationships are cultivated and restored in Presence.

Courage and trust are built in Presence.

Love is realized in Presence.

So while that Christmas might have been lean on presents, it was abundant in Presence.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and what it stirred up. Please do share it if you found it valuable…

Farhana Dhalla 172x204
Farhana Dhalla is a #1 Best Selling Author, International Life Coach & Speaker, and Creator of the transformational Thank You for Leaving Me Journey. She is the visionary and leader of the enlightened divorce movement and  the ultimate ‘go to’ person for shifting perspective. As a ‘suddenly single mom’ to three small children, she intimately knows the overwhelming fear and pain – -and the liberation of stepping into the highest version of oneself. Check out her free webinar Divorce Is Not Your Fault and connect with her on Twitter and Facebook. If you're curious about her ‘style' of coaching and some areas of coaching, check out her article, Coach of Many Colours.

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  1. anne_mcintyre@dodo.com.au' Anne McIntyre says:

    I can really understand what is being said above, and I am also very guilty of having my head in my laptop as the children are into their iPad. However, about 2 and a half years ago we, my partner and I, decided to permanently switch our television set off, as we felt it had a huge impact on our entire family and it was just very negative all of the time. That is what I now see so much more clearly with television, is the negative impact it has on a human when they are focused on the screen for long periods of time. I also cant help seeing the content for what it is, mindless entertainment that only causes a disconnection/distraction between the masses who plug in day in and day out. Admittedly our family is still very much distracted away from one another via our smaller screens, but we do engage more than we ever did before. We choose what we want to plug into, minus the constant manipulation of advertising, and often our children, as well as ourselves, are either tuned into educational information that is always readily available on the net, or we are being better informed about many things that are happening around the world, and it is honest & real. Well, we like to believe it is!
    I have no regrets about the choice we made to switch off, and I like to think that in time, many more will also see that these sets we call television, are sadly, only accomplishing huge division and distraction from all the other important life things, that, we would be doing with one another, if we weren’t so fixated on the rubbish promoted and pumped out of our television sets. I am going to try limiting my screen time with my laptop as well. Im sure my children will also enjoy more quality time with us, their parents.

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