Should You Sleep With a Good Friend? 6 Brutal Truths About Having A ‘Friend With Benefits’

Written by on June 17, 2019 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 24 Comments

Couple in bed laughing-compressed

By Tiffany McHugh | Your Tango

Do ever end well?

To sleep with or not to sleep with, that is the question — at least the one that runs through the mind of any single gal with a great guy-bestie. An admittedly far stretch from its Shakespearian derivative, you've got to admit, this question requires some serious thought. He already puts up with your obnoxious Nashville obsession, listens to you bitch about co-workers, and makes a mean bacon egg and cheese … why wouldn't you have sex with him?

Related Article: Can Having Sex Too Soon Ruin Your Relationship? Studies, Stats & Opinion

It worked out well (in the end) for Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends With Benefits — but we all know that's not always the case.

Here, six unattached 20-somethings dish on time (or times) that they decided to blur the lines between friends by knocking boots.

1. It can be a vaulable lesson in sex ed.
I'm sure there are tons of searchable quotes out there insinuating that the best friendships are the ones that you learn from, but I bet that none of them are referring to circumcision. When Jamie realized that she and her guy friend Ben shared similar sexual appetites, she decided that it was worth a shot to invite him to visit her at school to see where the night took them. “I instantly regretted it,” she said. “He danced to house music in the bars like he was at a ska concert, and was clearly more interested in getting a taste of ‘the college experience' that his small university was lacking than hooking up with me.”

Rather than chalk the whole visit up as a loss, Jamie went for it anyway and ended up getting a lesson in sex-ed rather than getting off. “It was the first time I'd seen an uncircumcised penis,” she said. “After he left, I was suddenly repulsed — not by his penis, but by his personality and the night as a whole — and actively avoid his texts and calls to this day.”

Related Article: REAL Sex Ed: 11 Sex Experts Share What They Wish They’d Known Sooner

2. “Every f*ck-buddy has an expiration date.”
So you better take that into consideration before getting it on with someone you can't imagine your life without. Karen began hooking up with her friend Chris last April, who introduced her to a new sexual experience, and eventually, feelings of attachment. “The first time we hooked up, I told him that I had never had an orgasm from having sex, while we were having sex,” she said. “He quickly let me know that I was about to learn.” Turns out, he was right, and she continued learning all summer long. “I lied and told him and his friends that I didn't have feelings for him and that it was strictly business, so to speak,” she said.

Despite her growing attachment to him, the two continued to hook up … until she found out that he was dishing about their sexcapades all over the place. “He told all of our friends that I squirted, and now they refer to my vagina as ‘The Holy Grail' and have nicknamed me ‘Squirtle,' after the Pokemon character.” Yeah, consider that friendship (benefits or no benefits) officially over.

3. It's possible to maintain the friendship after sex.
The first time that Steph and her best guy friend moved past their usual PG-13 make out sesh, she learned that mid-blowjob giggles aren't exactly a turn on. “I couldn't help it! I was going down on him and I laughed because I just thought it was so funny, which apparently made him nervous,” she said. “I told him I wasn't laughing at him, I was laughing at the scenario, but it didn’t change anything.”

Related Article: This 3-Hour Formula Will Fire Up Your Libido

Needless to say, she never ended up finishing the job, but the two still maintain a great friendship … outside of the bedroom.


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  1.' Aiyan Emerson Love says:

    Someone along the line, one will always fall in love because good friends already are somewhere within that line. The heart is wild and it is difficult not to have feelings for someone you’re so intimate and intrinsically deep with. From my own less of two cents, absolutely a no go.

  2.' Tony Greene says:

    No. It causes friendships to dissolve.

  3.' Lisa Fonseca says:

    NEVER!!! I have lost more Friends by NOT sleeping with them…turned out they weren’t FRIENDS after all….. 🙁

  4.' Shawn Race says:

    Terrible idea.

  5.' Laine Walker says:

    Never works out. Either someone catches feelings for you, or one of you do for someone else. My ex was pissed when I started dating this one girl, after we had been doing the FWB thing for awhile. Even though she said that she missed me, and loved me, she had never clarified on what her intentions were with me. She then had the audacity to blow up on me, and tell me that I didn’t know what love was. XD

    •' Aiyan Emerson Love says:

      I concur with your statement! Being really great friends with an opposite sex as well as classmate most definitely adds an anchor of intimacy alone. If you add sex to the equation, someone will fall and the friendship never goes back to the original. There is a very threshold of a thin line not to cross.

    •' Laine Walker says:

      Exactly. :]

    •' Conscious Life News says:

      Interesting Laine

  6.' Sally Render says:

    A good friend is hard to find don’t spoil it x

  7.' Sharon Girouard says:

    I had a friend with benefits for 3 years. He lived me for over a year and all I heard from him was that he did not love me.. it was just a friendship. And stupid me thought this would change. After all, I was in love with him. Needless to say, he moved out in a huff one day after a disagreement. He found another woman online and is now in love with her and is going to marry. He no longer speaks to me, is now going to church, and is very faithful and loyal to her… Something he never was to me. It all hurts very much but there is nothing I can do except learn from it.

  8.' Lynn Ryckman says:

    Not a good idea . It diverts one from creating love in one’s life as time goes by

  9.' Fabiana Cristina de Andrade says:

    never works out, not a good idea.

  10.' Barbara Joy Smith says:

    It never works out, I found out the hard way, friends w/benefits, we don’t even speak to each other, he had no integrity at all!

  11.' Judy Jackson-Rivers says:


  12.' Colleen Mary McCann says:

    Kinda defeats the whole purpose of what making love is supposed to be about and a huge difference just having sex. Without the close intimacy, connection and passion, I can’t possibly see how good it could be. I wouldn’t waste my time.

  13.' Elaine Steven says:

    No, you lose the friend sadly.

  14.' Christina J. Riggan says:

    This site is disgusting. Blocked you asses.

  15.' Zameer Sid says:

    Imagine your partner has a friend with benefit..its an horrible idea!

  16.' Kevin Hawkins says:

    Sex without love is a horrible idea, period, in my opinion.

  17.' Shannon McCall Pendergrass says:

    No thanks She is beautiful but NOT my type!!! She has no sausage and I am a sausage girl NOT taco.

  18.' Darren Walshe says:

    People using each other are not friends it’s grey area I suppose, one of them has an agenda from the start

  19.' Dava Ohare says:

    I’ve got a friend On benefits, she’s always skint. 🙂

  20.' Mandy Monica Wang says:

    Never ! But then f friends can become good friends. Eventually , the other half is we enter into covenant with is meant to be our best friend . Often times marriage falls apart when grows apart. So it is so important to keep to this for a long time relationship to work

  21.' Stephanie Nuzzolo says:

    I’m pretty sure this is going to suck somehow. I like him, but I’m not even sure he likes me. Well, here goes.

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