How to Thrive: A Resurrection of Reasons For Living

Image result for thrive

Many if not most of us were taught from a very young age that life is very hard and unfair, a constant struggle and that as humans we really can’t trust one another or even ourselves for that matter. Furthermore, if this isn’t our experience, then we must be doing something wrong and we don’t deserve to be happy. And while we can hopefully entertain that this isn’t exactly the healthiest outlook to pass on, I don’t feel that we intend to necessarily cause harm by demonstrating this to our children. In fact, I feel most parents would say they’re trying to protect and prepare their kids.

But then again, where does this need to want to “prepare” them to struggle come from? Well, from OUR parents, right? And from theirs? And theirs? Well, where did this consciousness of lack and imperfection and fear truly begin? When did we begin to view life as something we need to survive rather than thrive in?

I remember as a child the moment I realized that adults were actually not these “all-knowing” beings that many of them appeared or claimed to be and even as a child I knew that I was onto a higher level of knowing beyond many of the adults around me, simply for the fact I had an inner understanding deep down that life actually wasn’t meant to be hard, that it was fair, and that it wasn’t meant to be such a struggle if you just learned how to trust and work with it (and yourself).

I somehow just knew that we, all of us, were meant for greater things than the daily small talk and stresses and that for those of us who had the courage to go for it; to go against what we were told how life should be, were the ones who were actually HAPPY.

Why? Because they were taking control over their own happiness; they made it an inside job. I didn’t know how to consciously structure this awareness at the time, but looking around at all these adults telling me what it takes to live a happy life (by acquiring more and more stuff and comparing yourself to others) and yet seeing for the most part how miserable they all were; well, I knew something was up. And unlike most people under the age of 10, I spent much of my time pondering things like this and trying to uncover this and other mysteries of the workings of life and the universe and what it means to be a (happy) human.

Needless to say…this made me a pretty strange kid.

Well, that and the fact I could see auras and energies! 😉 But seriously, I’m not saying that I was immune to establishing negative core beliefs about myself. I did form several, just like everyone else around me, and eventually, even my own inner knowing was tested and layered over with false perceptions of the world around me that I started to convince myself were real. Slowly but surely I too fell victim to core beliefs (or what I now call “shadows”) that had me believing I didn’t deserve love, peace, or happiness in my life, and for years I played out this drama to convince myself it was all true…

The biggest ones I personally took on were around self-esteem and having fear around being who I really am. I knew I was “different” and for a long time, I let the harsh words of other kids putting me down for the weird things I’d say crush my self-esteem and make me shrink so small like a turtle going deep into its shell. I learned to believe that my opinions were not important and that I had nothing of value to say.

Soon enough, this would manifest as different habits including mumbling when I spoke and a severe fear of public speaking. As a teen, I developed some serious resentment as I rebelled through poetry full of morbid angst and hatred for a world that could never understand me.

Do you see how dangerous believing the opinions of others are? And this is what we’ve done as children before we had a conscious choice as to whether or not to do so. Now, if anything isn’t fair in life, it would be that. As children we are literal sponges of words and emotions and unable to always coherently process them, we bury them deep with our psyches where they surface later in life in many different ways.

I’m sure some of you can relate. When you feel like no one understands you, you inevitably feel alone and tend to withdraw and I think this happens to so many of us for so many different reasons. Whether we are taught we aren’t good enough or too fat or told we’re stupid. Words and actions are so damaging and the truth is they stick with us well into adulthood. So, literally all of those issues you are still having and are yet to identify; the causes are literally rooted in your most early years of life. And this is how we always work with shadows to heal them…we go back to our childhood when it all started.

When we ask various people about their childhoods, we can get a number of varying responses ranging from quite positive to quite negative and even these ends of the spectrum have their own light and dark corners. With so many variables, saying that one had a “good” or “bad” childhood completely is rather difficult to do. And with good reason. We are multi-faceted beings and we are here to experience not just one end of the physical spectrum of reality, but everything in between. Each corner of space and time offers a great lesson if we are open to it. And perhaps the current paradigm of being in a cycle of “lack” and seeing life as a mere struggle we need to survive is our greatest lesson yet. Image result for thrive quotes

For at this end of the spectrum, we have lost sight of our divinity and greatness. We are seeing a place in our reality where Source or God doesn’t exist and this is merely impossible. We’ve convinced ourselves that there is even a chance that imperfection exists in the Universe as even that which appears imperfect just IS. Perhaps in the vibration of struggle, we learn to surrender. And perhaps in surrendering we find our true strength.

When we teach others, especially children that they must “earn” love, then we are convincing them they are anything less than divine creations, which is false information…we have lied to them. And children being children will know this on a soul level and receiving this conflicting information will cause an energetic disturbance they will not and cannot process, thus manifesting in harmful core beliefs about themselves they will carry into their adult lives. We all do this and have had this done to us. Hopefully not out of intention, but out of ignorance, and now with awareness, we all have the choice to take heed with our words, with children and all people; even ourselves.

To thrive in life, we are taught we must get the degrees and climb the corporate ladder to “success”. But then again, that depends on what your definition of success is, which is nowadays meaning many things to many different people. However, regardless of how you define success, one thing that remains abundantly clear that everyone wants is…well, abundance, and happiness. And we are finally agreeing on what it really takes to get there. It’s not “stuff”, well, not material stuff anyways. It’s the good stuff, going on within you. More specifically, what YOU think and what YOU think of YOU.

While hard work is an inevitable part of reaping the fruits of life’s abundance, life doesn’t have to always BE hard. If you’ve come from a particularly difficult upbringing, or from a very poor family, you might have trouble entertaining any other concept but “life is ALWAYS hard and ALWAYS a struggle” because that has ALWAYS been your experience growing up.

But even if you grew up in a very wealthy family, chances are still good that you may have been ingrained with core beliefs that put a damper on your sense of self-worth; which is really what determines how much or how little we truly allow ourselves to suffer in life. Or in other words, how hard we allow things to be before we finally say, “Enough is enough!” In the age where the American Dream has literally turned into a nightmare, it’s up to each and every one of us to wake up to our own creative power and start thriving in life!

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Empath Meaning 101: Are You Dating an Empath?

Image source: unsplash.com

You’re probably familiar with the term “empathy,” right? Empathy is the ability to understand and relate to other people’s feelings. (Putting yourself in their shoes.)  Most people have the ability to be empathetic (or show empathy) towards others, especially people that they care about and relate to—and that brings us to empaths.

An empath is a person who has an extreme amount of empathy for others, to the point that they are able to feel the emotions of others as if they were experiencing the emotions themselves. Empaths are highly sensitive and in tune with other people’s emotions.

Here’s a deeper dive into the empath meaning and some signs you might be in a relationship with one:

They Take On the Emotion of Others

The signature characteristic of an empath is someone that is able to take on the emotions of others. Ultimately, this means that when a friend of a loved one is sad or upset, an empath may mirror these emotions and experience them as well because they are so in tune with what the other person is feeling.

Tend to Avoid Large Gatherings

Because empaths take on the emotions of those around them, they tend to get a little overwhelmed at large gatherings. They are sensitive to both positive and negative emotions, and large groups of people can amplify that. Typically, they avoid crowds altogether in order to save themselves all that emotional energy.

Tend to Be Introverted

In most cases, empaths are more introverted and require some time to recharge. While they may seem extroverted because of their ability to connect so deeply with others, they actually need time alone to re-energize themselves after a lot of social interactions. That said, being introverted does not mean anti-social, it just means you need a little time to recharge your batteries when you’re alone, whereas extroverts get their energy from socializing.

Love Nature

A lot of empaths find solace in nature, especially when it’s an escape from overwhelming social situations. If your partner takes long walks in the woods to help them bounce back from a stressful social situation, or if they like spending time in the garden just to relax, then this could be a sign that they are an empath.

Have a Calming Effect on People

Because of their ability to connect with and understand others so deeply, they usually have a calming effect on people. They allow others to let their guards down. They can also help someone feel better just by talking to them because of the way they absorb emotions.

So, if you think you’re dating an empath, here are some tips for making the relationship work:

Give Them Alone Time

Empaths need their alone time to recharge. Make it okay for your partner to disappear into the woods, spend time out in nature, or curl up with a book by themselves. Doing so shows that you support them, and it will not only help their mental health, but will also energize your relationship.

Be Honest

Empaths are able to read people very well, which means that they have a low tolerance for B.S. They can sense when people are being dishonest, which can cause them to become wary of certain people. Honesty should be the baseline of any healthy relationship, but it’s especially important if you’re dating an empath—they’ll know you’re lying the minute you open your mouth!

Be Supportive

Empaths will often become deeply invested in trying to support those around them or fix all of their problems, causing them to overlook their own needs. This can cause them to overlook their own needs while trying to be in service to others. This is emotionally draining! Make sure they are taking care of themselves, ask if they need time or space to recharge, or help by taking things off their plate.

Listen to Them/Intuition

Empaths have an excellent sense of intuition. If your empath partner ever shares something with you, based on their intuition, it’s important to really listen to them. Being truly heard by your partner is super validating, and it will show your partner that you support them and trust their intuition.

Let Them Feel Their Emotions

Whether the emotions are positive or negative, it’s important to allow your empath partner to feel them. They won’t always be pleasant, but they’re valid and deserve to be felt. They’re sensitive to emotions, and telling them to “get over it” can make them feel uneasy in the relationship.

Don’t Force Them to Socialize

Empaths have different needs and aren’t typically fond of too much socializing, so it’s important to respect that. If you are more of a social butterfly, then go out and socialize without them! Doing things apart is a way to meet both of your needs, which is incredibly necessary for a healthy relationship.

Make Them Laugh

Help lighten the mood! Empaths tend to get very into their heads, and as their partner, you can relieve some of the emotional burdens they feel. Tell a joke, act silly, put on a funny movie—whatever gets them smiling.

Be a Good Listener

Empaths are usually the ones listening in conversations, so give them a chance to do the talking! Even if it may feel more natural for them to play the listening role in a conversation, encourage them to speak their mind, and make sure that you actively listen to them.


Empath or not, there is no such thing as a mind-reader. It’s important to communicate your emotions openly and honestly so that your partner can support you. They may be intuitive, but you shouldn’t expect them to know what’s going on in your mind at all times.

Let Them Be Themselves

It can be difficult to be the partner of an empath, especially when you see how much of a toll their extreme empathy can take on their own mental health. That said, you should never try and prevent them from showing empathy, which is the core of their personality. Instead, embrace it!

Empaths are wonderful and intuitive partners, so count yourself lucky if you are with one! While there are a lot of redeeming things about dating an empath, it is important to understand their unique sensitivities so that you can be a loving and supportive partner, just as they are to you.

3 Ways to Master the Art of Congruent Living

To live a congruent life simply means to be living in space that you have consciously created for yourself. A space that serves a great purpose and acts as the foundation upon which you manifest excellence into your life. This is a space where you’ve taken delicate care to tend to, always making sure it’s neat and tidy and ever-expanding.

If you are sitting there asking yourself if you even have such a space, don’t worry you are not alone. In fact, most of us don’t consciously take the time to give ourselves one moment of relaxation at the end of a full day. Somewhere along the line, it’s as if a new software was installed in our psyches that told us life always had to be hard; and that if it wasn’t, then we were doing something wrong.

Often times, along with such core beliefs that have taken root deep within us, other beliefs that don’t always serve us start to form and grow as well. We might believe that only when we struggle do we deserve happiness; that it must always come with a price. Or even worse, that we are unworthy of happiness (or love) at all.

And perhaps that is the key to it all…which reminds me of every old 50’s romance tune…love is all you need, right? But is that enough? Well, yes…and no. See, love in and of itself is not out for itself. It just IS. And perhaps that is it’s greatest lesson to soak in from dancing on the edge of it’s madness to falling into it’s most frightening and dark depths of another human soul. But there must be consciousness behind the love for it to have meaning. Meaning, we as our awesome human selves, determine the level at which we can experience love, by the amount we are willing to give love, be vulnerable, and open to taking some indefinite leaps of faith. Love leads us to some intense and scary places sometimes, and yet collectively we continue to innately know that to have love in our lives, is to have peace in our hearts. And that, I believe is the first step to true happiness, or what I like to call, “congruent living”.

From years of studying the connection between the heart and the mind, as well as the principles of Quantum Mechanics, I can comfortably say that anyone, no matter the race, gender, creed, nationality, etc. has the capability to manifest peace within their own hearts. Even in the most dire of suffering, this noble act is not some mystic’s tale. In fact it is often within suffering itself that we are lead to the conscious awareness of the true amount of control we have over the quality of our lives; merely for the fact we have control over the quality of our thoughts…

Overall, there are 3 major pieces to living life congruently:

The first would be that the consciousness must be present that the power to bring peace to one’s heart resides within oneself. This can manifest in many different ways for many different people, but usually accompanies a major event of some kind ranging from a near-death drowning or car accident, or losing someone close to you. Getting a reminder that nothing is trivial and all we truly have is this moment is the quickest and shortest route to gaining this conscious awareness. But it doesn’t have to be that serious all the time. And by that I mean, if you learn to listen to the subtle messages of the Universe, it will gently whisper in your ear instead of taking a proverbial 2×4 to your head when you choose to ignore it. 🙂

Once you can find peace within your own heart, you have just taken the “For Sale” sign off of that space I mentioned earlier on. You’ve allowed yourself to make perhaps one of the greatest investments in your overall health because now you have a “go-to”. Some people get to their space through breathing exercises, or simply taking a moment to close their eyes and imagine their favorite vacation beach. And yet other people will think of loved ones, or anything that ignites a sense of inner joy, gratitude, connection to the Source of life. Basically we are by-passing the logical brain often lead by the ego that convinces of we aren’t worthy of stepping into these higher vibrational states of living.

The second way to master living a life of congruence would be to always be pushing yourself to step more and more into your greatness. Meaning, do more of what makes you feel alive, do what you’re good at and what you enjoy sharing with others. This is true giving of yourself and of your gifts and the more you do it, the greater you expand your space. Think of it like an interior upgrade or like putting an addition onto the house.

The third and final masterful activity would include welcoming not only the “good” stuff, but not avoiding the “bad”. To always see the lesson in the pain is true sight. To be able to view yourself and your life without judgment, but always with conscious movement towards embodying our most true selves, is absolute congruent living.

When you look at your life and see the balance amongst even what some might call “chaos”, is to have expanded your vision into the realm of “anything goes” when it comes to manifestation. Allowing yourself to be open to the opportunity for growth and expansion as your inner roots climb deep down into the dark, is what gives the fruits above the life-source to bloom and blossom. And as my mentor always says, “The deeper the roots, the sweeter the fruits.”

Have a most fruitful, congruent week everyone! <3

Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

The Awesome Art of Open-Heart Observing

Image result for open heartAs it goes, the Universe is set up in such a way that when we need to keep our hearts open the most, it is during the most absolute difficult times to do so. Those times we may be struggling to find our self-worth or confidence because while we know how good appreciation and respect feel, we still rely on getting it from others to make us feel secure in ourselves.

Or it may be times we are triggered from an old wound and therefore have issues connecting with someone that reminds us of someone else who many have caused us pain in the past. Or perhaps they remind us of someone we’ve hurt and therefore we have in fact closed off our own heart to ourselves when it comes to forgiveness.

Whatever the case, we all know how shitty it feels to carry around those heavy emotions such as regret, guilt, anger, resentment, and feelings of lack, not being good enough and for some reason we have set ourselves to believe that while it’s justified to fly off the handle at someone else making us angry or causing us pain, we numb ourselves to the daily discord in our lives caused by our very own hand and how by allowing ourselves to reign over our own feelings, we are also allowing ourselves to be the observational gatekeepers of our own hearts.

In fact, while no one else can ever really make us actually feel anything, we humans have grown accustomed to being the mirrors we are as that is innately how we do relate to one another in our relationships and the world at large. However, beyond the works of Jung and our good old friend the Ego, we not only reflect back our unhealed wounds, our perceptions, our judgments, and our insecurities, but also on the positive front, the things we adore and admire in others.

A perfect example that often goes overlooked is when we envy another person. We often get caught up in the “negative” feelings of not being that person, or resenting them for having something or being a certain way we feel or believe we are not, but in truth of the highest order, it is not possible to even see something admirable in another, to even recognize it, unless it already exists within you! Read that again if you have to, but yes this is true!

You see, when we see another person acting a way that makes us feel jealous, it is simply triggering a part within ourselves that is itching to emerge! A dormant part of our being that would love to come out and play, if only we would give it the attention and time to grow that it deserves to come to the surface and flourish. Being jealous and resentful is simply the ego’s way of avoiding the work! It keeps us from changing and keeps us living small and in the same place in our lives where we are free to continue our same story; complaining about how much everyone else has and how much we lack. It gives us an outer focal point, rather than an insightful observation inward.

But if we just look again…if we just shift our perceptions and get out of our heads and back into our hearts, amazing things begin to happen, because when we look at the world and ourselves with an open heart we are seeing things now as they really are, not as we perceive them to be or wish them to be. And the more we do this consciously, the more we make the choice to stop letting our emotions and preconceived ideas rule us and keep our inner world illusions going, the more we tear down the holographic wall of our minds.

Observing the world, other people and ourselves (where we must first start this journey) with an open heart does not take away our power, but actually fills up our reserves and gives us a never-ending supply! Our heart produces the largest electrical field in the body and it’s because in our most minute levels of existence, in our most basic atomic form, we ARE energy and we are all constantly communicating with one another whether we are aware of it or not.

This is how we pick up on “vibes” or intuition and gut feelings. And when we learn to not ignore these feelings, our heart begins to naturally open as our trust in our very relationship with ourselves begins to build. This is how we develop a healthy self image and how we stop unconsciously reflecting the illusions we think we are to the world and begin consciously projecting the love we now know we are instead.

Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Persistent Resistance: Why the Things You Avoid Don’t Go Away

It’s all about the vibes, man…

We’ve all had that experience of coming up against something we don’t want to do or someone we don’t want to be around. And sometimes in the midst of it all, we begin to notice that the more we think about it or try to resist or push it away, the more it seems to be around and in our face. So…what’s up with that?

What is happening is actually physics at play. In other words, the energy moving around the situation or person and your beliefs and feelings around the entire thing is what will determine if it does in fact go away or continue to haunt you mercilessly. When we are in a place of wanting to avoid someone, for example, the energy that we are putting out is usually the fear of running into them, having to converse with them, explain something to them, etc. And it is because there is fear present, that you will continue to draw it towards you, rather than away from.

I recently wrote an article about fear and how to use it as a tool for success. It is cliché, yet so very true that the only way fears ever go away is by us facing them head-on. In this action, we are putting a new kind of energy into motion. Instead of the heavy, stifling vibe of acting from fear, when we come from a place of confidence, self-love, and trust, it’s a completely different vibe; one that empowers you to know you can count on yourself and that you control the nature of your reality, simply by shifting the energy around your beliefs.

Oh, that’s attractive…

Like magnets repel or attract depending on their polarity, we also are gifted with this ability if we know how to use it properly. When someone makes us uncomfortable, it is wise to not immediately follow and act upon the feeling, unless of course you feel threatened in any way. If it’s more of an overall annoyance for the person or they’ve done something you are not quite ready to forgive, etc. then the feelings of wanting to avoid the person should be first looked at and dug through, not immediately acted upon as that creates a container for fear-based, heavy draining energy. And in this type of energy, it’s quite hard for things to “escape” and settle on their own because it’s very binding and constricting. You may even physically feel like your body is incredibly tense and your mind uneasy when in this type of container.

Instead of creating a groundhog’s day of perpetual avoidance, try instead to look at the feelings instead of just feeling them. Let them speak to you as an equal, not like they are giving you orders to act upon. When we sit with our feelings, we create a neutral space for reflection and insight and often we begin to unravel clarity where there was confusion as our hearts begin to open.

We may begin to see the situation or person in a new light and finally be able to forgive them for past hurts. And if not, we may at least begin to forgive ourselves for carrying the pain for so long, and perhaps gift ourselves the freedom of surrendering the pain to the ethers and allowing it to become the lesson that lifts us, rather than the wound that keeps us down.

Your greatness is waiting to emerge…

Often times I find when something scares me, it’s actually a sign that is pulling me to become a better version of myself; to expand and grow so I can hold more abundance, love, and light in my life. And I find that when I resist these types of things, the Universe tends to bring me fewer opportunities. It’s as if I was saying, “I don’t believe in myself, so please allow me to keep living small where I feel safe.” And so the Universe responds as such, but only for so long. It will always continue to get you to your true center; to walk the path not created by fate, but the one you were destined to create for yourself.

When we are in a place of resistance that is fear-based, it will stick around because it’s merely asking to be looked at and explored. It will continue to weigh you down, make you feel uncomfortable, etc. until you do. If we continue to place blame on things outside of ourselves, then the Universe will continue to just give you things to complain about. But, what if we instead go inward and commit to being our own best friends? What if we all took the time to really get to know ourselves like we were meeting a new friend or lover, and give ourselves that same undivided attention?

This is moving towards your light…your authenticity and your Truth. In this energy, you will instead feel a pull, not a push and the more you surrender to it, the more you will open your heart to all of life’s experiences that come your way. If not because you’ve learned to trust the Universe responds to energy (not mere wishes), but because you’ve learned to trust yourself.

Have an amazing, irresistible weekend everyone! 🙂


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality.

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

How To Come Out of the Pandemic With Stronger Friendships

Social distancing can be really hard and strenuous on our friendships — but it certainly doesn’t have to be. We can still create meaningful memories with our friends while we’re apart; it just takes a little creativity! Here are some simple things you can do to come out of this pandemic with stronger friendships than you could have ever imagined:

1. Check in Often

We’re all living in really strange times right now and it can feel super lonely, so it’s important to check on your friends and loved ones to make sure they’re doing alright. One of the best ways to strengthen a friendship is to be there for each other during difficult times. You could make it a point to call your friends a few times a week to chat about your lives, the happenings of the world, and to catch up on all the gossips and see how other people are handling things.

2. Weekly Happy Hour Calls

Life can feel rather depressing while we’re all on lockdown — so weekly happy hour calls with your girlfriends is just what the doctor ordered to lighten the mood! You could consider planning themes ahead of time and dressing up for a different occasion every week. This is a great way to create fun memories together even though you’re still technically apart. The Internet is full of hilarious ideas for themed parties, like Trash TV Bash or Inner Child. You could also plan a virtual tequila tasting or wine and paint night! The options for fun happy hour calls are endless.

3. Plan a Virtual Spa Day

While this may just be a first, the lockdown has forced us all to get a little creative! You could all purchase a Box Sized Hugs care-package and plan your first-ever virtual spa day. Not only does it give you a chance to relax and socialise, it would be super fun for everyone to test the products in the box together (like the hair mask or self-heating eye mask) and then discuss favourites. Run yourself a bath, grab a drink, and virtually relax with your girlfriends. There’s nothing better than drinking some bubbly while in a bubble bath whilst the society is in apparent collapse! Now, that’s a match made in heaven.

4. Become Pen Pals

Handwritten letters, you remember those, right? Now a thing of the past but what better time to bring it back! Writing to your friends through snail mail could be a really fun way to bond and allows you to keep up with all the latest gossip. You could swap hilarious stories or use the opportunity to let them know how much their friendship means to you — but it would be really cute to make a little scrapbook of the letters you’ve sent to each other when the pandemic is over. You could look back on these times and have something meaningful to show for it.

5. Binge Watch Shows Together

Pass the time by choosing shows to binge watch together. You could each download Teleparty and choose a show from Netflix, Hulu, Disney, or HBO to stream simultaneously. There’s a chat feature that allows you to quietly chat back and forth without having to pause the show every few minutes to discuss. You also have the option to pause the show to discuss whenever you’d like. It’s always fun to binge watch a show that you really love, but it’s even more fun to binge watch a show with your bestie.

6. Bake Them Some Cookies

I mean come on, who doesn’t appreciate homemade cookies! Seriously though, sending some baked treats to your friends and family is a sure fire way to let them know how much they mean to you whilst giving them a morale boost. Food is such a great way to socialise and not being able to sit down and share a meal with your loved ones is bound to take its toll on anyone. Whilst you can’t be there in person to share it with them, sending your carefully crafted treats in the post is the ultimate in creature comforts. Who knows, you may even get some back in return!

7. Team Up In a Virtual World

With everyone itching to get out into the real world again, why not try the next best thing? With a wide range of free to play online games available at your fingertips, it’s never been a better time to team up with your friends online. Studies into gaming have proven to reduce stress and anxiety whilst improving your memory, attention and concentration. Studies have also shown that gaming can improve social skills and problem solving. So, why not team up with your buddies and get gaming, it’s a real hoot and you’ll definitely come out of it with stronger friendships.

8. Order them a takeout

Love food? Love surprises? Then this one if for you! Why not order your bestie their favourite takeaway to save them having to cook. Honestly, is there any greater thing in this life than delicious free food? You could even order them something they haven’t tried before and they could do there same for you. You could FaceTime them and share the meal together virtually to let them know what you think. Not only will it be a real treat, it will also help to support local restaurants whom are particularly struggling through this pandemic due to a massive downturn in business.

So there you have it, 8 ways to strengthen your relationships with your friends during lockdown. We’re sure you’ll come out closer than you were before whilst having fun in the process. Engaging with your friends in this way is a sure fire way to remedy the negative affects of social isolation and will help the time to pass by quicker. You’ll be out of the lockdown and doing activities you love with your friends before you even know it. So get to it!

What is the Paradox of Personal Power?

The Paradox Of Technology And 5 Ways To Avoid It - The latest Voice of  Customer and CX trends | Usabilla BlogAnyone who’s been doing it for a while knows that a key element in manifesting what you want is actually letting go of what you want.

Yep, you read that right. In order to have what you want, you just need to be willing to let it go. It’s a perfect paradox that life has set up and if we dig a little deeper this would be the step where after putting out your intentions, you then surrender any hold on how it needs to show up. Meaning, you can’t hold it in your mind in such a specific way that it closes you off from other opportunities the Universe is trying to bring it to you with. You miss what is often right in front of you because you are only expecting it to show you how you have it planned in your mind.

This is why you need to put it out there what you want, resonate with it…feel as it is yours, as it’s here with you, but don’t even consider a thought about how it got here. That is the Universe’s job and it is damn well good at it.

Now, a key of personal power is not often needed unless control over something else is intended. While the goal for the Spiritual Alchemist is to quiet (and learn from) the Ego Mind, expand from our traumas and trials, and be open to more abundance and joy in our lives. Everything in nature is cyclical, and our very own existence in nature is no different. Our own individual evolution through time and space is just as expansive as the tree rings of a great redwood. And this process of growth doesn’t need to be controlled but rather will flourish if left to its devices.

So, we might be mindful to look at it as we’re not necessarily shooting for fighting against darkness or fighting for light. That is key to remember; it’s about balancing both elements because both are equal in value and service to your soul’s growth in the lessons they offer. It is what you do with your experiences and lessons that determine your character and vibration and ultimately how large your energetic space in the world expands.

What is great about this is we have free will. It is always a choice. We can remain resentful of those that betrayed us before we had the conscious awareness to care for ourselves, whether that be our parents, teachers, even ourselves…, but if we can keep the focus on reclaiming that power back that was taken during that time, we allow ourselves the ability to continue our UP-ward spiral of expansion and we continue to flow with nature. We literally can FEEL when we are in this flow, and we can all admit that it feels pretty fucking amazing.

When we are connected to our soul purpose, our clear inner voice that is always trying to be heard under the clutter of other people’s beliefs, opinions, etc, that are stacked high in our subconscious minds, we have literally embodied “peace”. People who are happy all the time are faking it, I’m sorry. And people who are pissed off all the time are faking it too. Anytime you have to put conscious EFFORT into BEING a certain way, you are NOT being yourself, and this is why it doesn’t feel right deep down in your soul.

This is also why deep down we give ourselves so much shit for it and sometimes lash out at others when we’re really just so ticked of at ourselves that we haven’t yet figured out that we’re not supposed to drown in the bad times or lose ourselves in the good times. Paradox Dictionary Definition" Art Board Print by Primly | Redbubble

We are meant to flow through them all, arms out, ready to grab life by the balls. Ready to experience all it has to offer in those experiences (yes good or bad), and when you can be conscious of that outside of the emotions that come with these experiences, you have discovered who YOU are in there. And the more you stay aware of this truth, the easier it becomes to not attach to emotions and moments and not be so reactive. It becomes more natural to, well…be natural. To be neutral; to be at peace.

And when you finally learn to find your inner peace, you become the most powerful being on this plane of existence, yet may find no desire to use said power in any said direction. Because there’s no more looking. No more need to look. Just acceptance of what IS. Pure “Is-ness”, if you will. And it is only as much as “it is” in how it supersedes its need to be.

I hope I didn’t lose you there, but again you have to be willing to lose it all to have it all. And I hope you all have the most peaceful (yet maybe a little paradoxical) weekend! 🙂


Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Empath Survival 101: How to Stop Breaking Your Own Heart

Image result for quotes about empathsThis week I wanted to write about a topic near and dear to my heart; empathy. It goes without saying that feelings of empathy are what connect the hearts of humanity and are the ties that bind us all throughout the cosmos and across all of time and space. It is what allows us to literally step into the shoes of another and experience their perspective, their view, and even sometimes their thoughts, energy and feelings as intensely and as vividly as they do themselves.

Most of us are born with an innate sense of empathy and if we see someone or something in pain, we get a tingle in our gut that makes us want to reach out and console or help them. We feel deep down that connection I mentioned earlier, even if we cannot on the surface of our consciousness fully understand why or where these feeling are coming from.

In today’s society, sadly many of us are unaware of the magnificent details of this connection and most are certainly not taught about it in school or from our parents. But some of us, those we call Emotional or Intuitive Empaths, are born with such capabilities that they without effort absorb and pick up on the energies, thoughts and feelings of those around them and therefore are forced to explore this extra-sensory avenue of our physical capabilities. I, to my blessing and also to my demise, am one of these people.

I haven’t shared this truth about myself with many people as I was growing up as even at the age of 3 I knew I was different and felt like an outcast. I knew things adults around me didn’t and frankly I found out the hard way that most adults do not appreciate being corrected, especially by a child. I got kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions about God that couldn’t be answered, and often was asked to leave classrooms for the same reason. I just couldn’t turn off this endless sense of curiosity and wonderment in my brain about the world around me, and with the constant bombardment of emotions, feelings, thoughts and energy that were not merely of my own creation, but of those around me, I was always stimulated, energetically triggered, pushed and pulled emotionally and for a kid not knowing what the hell is happening, it can be quite confusing.

Universities even studied my abilities as a child, but for me personally, it was up to me to find out the answers about who I was, what these gifts were, why they were endowed to me, and what purpose they served for me on my path in life. For many years I hated them and just wanted them to go away. I hid them from my friends and just played the role of the friend who always gave good advice and was a good listener. The friend who always knew what you were feeling. I became so embedded in my own disguise that in my 20‘s I had no idea who I was and tried to find myself in drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex, and unhealthy relationships that only left me feeling used and abused…and rightly so. Image result for quotes about empaths

Today, at age 41 I have no regrets and many goals and dreams ahead of me, but I was recently reminded of just how fragile the heart truly is and just how much more growing I have to do. I had thought I knew the scope of my gifts, but I finally know now that I am here to use them for the greater good, not to hide them away in shame. And I feel I’m finally ready to do that. You see when you live for others for your entire life, even the idea of self-love feels foreign to you. It is something that comes riddled with guilt and shame because you are just not used to putting yourself first.

However, I know in my heart of hearts that I must come out of this dark night of the soul rising high with the sun and with pride and remembrance of who I chose to not only be but BECOME in this lifetime. If that can inspire just one person to also have the courage to live their truth and not be afraid of who they are, they I will have used my gifts in the way they were intended.

For the majority of my life, I’ve built walls to protect myself and to take care of others. But I realize now and I share this insight with not only other Empaths out there but anyone who feels like they always put themselves out there, just to have their hearts broken over and over again; that we must first LIVE for ourselves so we can LEARN to LOVE for ourselves. Then and only then will we stop breaking our own hearts, and be able to authentically show up in the space that the Universe has carved out just for us. For we are all sparks of divine light, but we must be willing to turn our focus inward because this light resides within our own hearts and can only be seen once we fully embrace our own soul, our own spirit for the perfect imperfection; the sliver of magnificence that it is.

tamara Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. 

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to TamaraRant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




Why Bad Things Happen To Good People

Shit happens.

This is a fact of life that is unavoidable.

Life has no favorites. Being born into the human experience is challenging.

Whether you are the Dalai Lama. Gandhi. Oprah. Mandela.

There’s a myth that if you do the right things, you pray, meditate, are a good person, follow all the rules, are spiritual and loving, this will exempt you from the challenges of life.

This is simply not the case.

We are souls having a human experience in order to learn and remember who we really are.

Life is a school for the evolution of your soul. The way you learn is through experiences. You often learn the most through the difficult ones.

Every experience and relationship is here to serve the evolution of your soul’s growth. Although it may not always seem that way at first.

Quite frankly when you are in the midst of a break up, financial crisis, betrayal, illness or your life falling apart, it’s difficult to see how it all makes sense.

Just because you don’t understand what’s going on in the moment doesn’t mean that there isn’t a bigger perfection at work.

So when you are in the midst of a difficult situation, rather than asking yourself, “Why is this happening to me?”, which keeps you locked into being powerless and a victim.

Get curious and ask, “What is my soul seeking to learn through this experience?”

And really listen.

If you remain open you will FEEL the answer.

When you truly understand that your soul is here to evolve, then you go beyond seeing things as good or bad.

Every experience is a huge growth opportunity.

So don’t pray for life to get easier, pray to expand your inner strength.

Sometimes the bigger your soul’s assignment on this planet, the more you will have to go through in order to accelerate your soul learnings.

When you are on the spiritual path and pray to be more spiritual, sometimes your difficult times are actually the Universe’s response to your soul’s request.

It’s nothing bad or that you did something wrong. It’s through these experiences that you are forced to grow and realize more of who you really are and put your spirituality into action.

If you are in the midst of a crisis, congratulations….. It simply means that you have outgrown the current level of your life and something more is seeking to be expressed through you.

When you are in it, know that you have what it takes to deal with it. And not only is it happening for a reason, it’s happening because your soul is ready to handle it.

Embrace the opportunity to grow and become more of who you really are.

Trust that you are ready.

Trust life.



Kute BlacksonKute Blackson is an utterly unique visionary in the world of human potential. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s life work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. Acclaimed worldwide for his life changing, one of a kind, transformational experiences, he is considered one of the leading voices in the fields of transformation and spirituality.

How to Make Dating a Positive Experience

Let’s face it: dating is tough! Sure, it can be fun sometimes, but it can also be extremely challenging at times. And if you have been burned in the past by your exes, you are tired of meeting people that you don’t really get along with, or you are worried about getting hurt and have closed yourself off as a result, dating can be a truly negative experience. But you can change this if you put some effort into it. Check out the tips below to learn about a few ways to make dating a more positive experience.

Consider Using a Dating App

There are pros and cons that come with dating apps, just like anything else in life. But there are plenty of reasons to give one a try if you want to make dating a more positive experience.

Basically, when you use a dating app, you can share what you want about yourself, and you can remain in control over who you want to talk to. You let the app do the work of showcasing potential matches, and then you decide if you want to move ahead with any of them to get to know them better.

Dating apps aren’t only for young people, by the way. If you are dating over 40, you can visit https://meetville.com/catalog/us/page/1426-over-40-s to take advantage of a dating site that will help you find people who are in the same age range and share similar interests. So, anyone can take advantage of these apps when they’re ready.

Start a Gratitude Journal

Another way to remain positive despite dating challenges is by making a list of things that you are currently grateful for.

When you are dating, you are looking toward the future. You want to find someone that will be your perfect match, that you will hopefully marry, and that you might even start a family with. But all of that can quickly take you out of the present. And it can also become frustrating when you don’t meet the ideal person, despite going on so many dates, because you’re reminding yourself of what you are lacking.

By keeping a journal and writing down everything you are grateful for, whether that’s once a day, once a week, or once a month, you can continually remind yourself of the fact that your life is pretty amazing just the way it is, and dating is just one component of it.

Have Fun When You Go on Dates

Whether you are using an online app to start dating mature singles on Meetville or you have met someone at a party or through a friend, if you are going to head out on your first date, go into it with a positive attitude.

Regardless of how many bad dates you’ve been on recently, every new date is a new opportunity to get to know someone and some have fun. Whether you hit it off or not, enjoy the experience. That way, you can look back on it and at least say that you had fun even if you never see that person again.

With the right attitude, you can attract more positivity into your life. If you’re tired of dating, shifting your mindset might be just what you need to start enjoying the experience more, rather than seeing it as something that you don’t like doing.

Vulnerability: The Love You Show is the Love You Grow

The hidden gift of love itself is that you must be willing to be vulnerable, to be open and to have your heart broken in order to explore its deepest depths. When you surrender to your truth and fully expose yourself to another in that way, love will pour into that space in immeasurable ways. This does not equate to rainbows and butterflies where everything is peaceful 100% of the time, but rather it creates a space where conflict can be resolved in a calm and respectful manner that goes less through mirroring and more through compassion, understanding and a mutual goal of both persons wishing to grow, expand and heal their unresolved shadows/core beliefs that are no longer serving them in the most positive of ways.

I truly feel that humanity is headed towards a more heart-based living all around. Relationships, in general, are getting more personal, even if it may appear that the world of technology is pushing us all apart or that war and greed are doing more of the same while also destroying our beautiful Mother Earth. The trick to stopping the cycle of destruction and tipping the scales back to center starts within each and every one of us.

When we teach our children self-love, that their feelings matter, to explore meditation and understand energy and the potentials of manifesting and creating in 3D reality, we begin a new wave of conscious creativity; one that has been dormant since the great Ascended Masters of Atlantis. But the wave is coming, and in fact, it’s already touched a million shores. But to see the change, we need to first be willing to BE IT.

To me, this has always been the ultimate expression of love; self-care. When we take the time to heal our own shit, explore our inner workings, build our talents, share our gifts and go after our dreams we stop being just another face in the crowd and start becoming one who is not only true to themselves, but also is brave enough to be a beacon for others.

And this is the energy and light the wave is carrying across the consciousness of humanity, and it travels on the frequency of L-O-V-E. No shocker there, though right? <3 What will heal humanity is ultimately what we can also use to heal our very own hearts after a break-up. Our feelings are so much more powerful than we’ve ever been taught to believe.

When we enter a new relationship, we often use negative, empty implicating words that we might not notice the effects of like “falling in love” or “losing myself in you” or “you complete me”. All of these phrases imply we are only halves of our true selves and while I get that people want the other to feel wanted and needed, the reason strong relationships last is because they contain two people who can stand on their own, who simply chose to come together for mutual pleasure. Not because the sole underlying drive in our heart is a “need”.

The best way to rise up after falling deeply in love is to fall back into love, but this time with you! Seriously, I’m talking being awesome to yourself and quitting all of the self-sabotage crap. For once, whether you are in a relationship with another person or not, stop and take a minute and reflect in the glory of your OWN awesomeness. You will be surprised at what opportunities just might open up for you! 🙂

Have a love-filled weekend!

And no matter where you are, you are WHOLE and COMPLETE as you are in this moment! <3

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

The Void We Avoid: How We Are Ever-Escaping Ego Evolution

I feel as if society is about to merge a seemingly ending period of craziness with another that’s just beginning as we roll onto into (or fall down a flight of proverbial steps into) 2021. Last year proved to be the year where the world went to shit, while my own personal little one was blooming me into motherhood. Up was down, in was out and whatever was reported on mainstream media “news” could be outrightly called the exact opposite of bi-partisan reporting. But then again, what else is new?

The media has once and for all gone too far and perhaps has been the catalyst to finally wake the rest of the people up as there remain those so ingrained in their own beliefs that they refused to question anything the talking heads of media told them to do, regardless of how hard it insulted our senses of normalcy or made any sense at all. It was literally the year that showed who has been doing their research and who would rather be governed with lies and told what to do like children.

Any who, that brings us to our dear old friend the ego. Most people think the ego is a terrible thing that must be squished and really has no positive attributes and nothing good to teach us. This couldn’t be farther from the truth as the ego is your greatest emotional compass. If you are at the level of conscious awareness to be able to look at your ego from an objective standpoint, you can observe how it reacts to things, likes to always take the lead, and how it protects itself no matter what. The ego hates change and will do whatever it takes to keep things in your life just as they are.

When we are able to pick up on these cues, we can use the ego as the tool it was meant to be and let it show us those areas that perhaps we need to look at within ourselves. Those places where we hold fear and might put up walls with people. Or those places where we get reactive quickly and our temper takes over. Whatever area you see yourself reacting emotionally is an excellent indicator that it is your ego holding the reigns and not your conscious Self with a capital S who is grounded and centered in the heart-mind.

When we are grounded and centered, we always give ourselves that moment to choose our responses instead of unconsciously reacting to things all the time. And the more you do it, the more empowering it becomes. This is how you evolve your ego (into a more useful tool); by stepping up and calling the shots when you can see how the ego is holding you back in places you know you need to progress. If there’s something you’re struggling with to reach your goal, for instance, say you want to be a motivational speaker, but large crowds frighten you, then your conscious self would turn towards the fear, knowing that is where your growth lies. You would recognize that your ego would want to do a complete 180 the other way.

Image result for egoMost of us have experience making both conscious choices as well as letting our egos do it for us. Some of us are put more energy into making sure our egos don’t rule our lives, while others let it run wild. This is always easy to recognize as what I call “loud insecurities” that often come out in the form of bragging, not appreciating things, taking things for granted, etc.

Another way our egos play a huge role is when it comes to our personal relationships. Unless we have actually taken that time to really get to know ourselves and have put in the work it takes to master habits and consciously create our character, then we will always reflect and project in our relationships. We pretty much all do it, and it’s really how we learn…about ourselves. What we can’t see in ourselves, we will be forced to see in another.

When we choose to depend on others to create feelings within us, maintain certain emotions, or withhold certain expectations is to take control over another life and to at the same time take responsibility for our own emotions and put them in the hands of another, when no one else but ourselves even has the power to do so. It simply appears that others make us feel this way or that way, but they are simply bringing forth things that already exist within us. Perhaps they may feel foreign or like they’ve been laying dormant for decades, but I promise you, everything you have ever needed, need now, and will ever need is already within you. You are not empty, you are full of infinite awareness just waiting to become aware of its own infinity.


Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on Facebook, and Twitter

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to TamaraRant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Intellectual Intuition: Where Epistemology Meets Enlightenment

I am literally convinced that I came careening into this world an infant epistemologist seeking enlightenment. But, who isn’t? 😉 No seriously. I mean think about it, whether we are aware of it or not, we are all here for a reason, right? And we can choose to believe that reason is meaningless and minute or a pretty fucking big deal. But what I’ve come to learn is the ever-priceless lesson, that no matter what you believe…you are absolutely correct.

You see it is not always that things just ‘are’, but rather they are ‘as we see them’. Perception is an objective woman and she is never taking sides with any one person. She will always cater to the individual and encourage them that what she is showing them; the picture she has designed up based upon past experiences and beliefs, is the absolute truth about what is being experienced in the present moment.

Regardless, whether you believe you played a role in designing your path and now creating the drama unfolding as ‘your life’, it IS unfolding. The only other option I can think of is to believe that shit just randomly happens to us; which is, of course, worth entertaining just as much as the next belief. But which feels more empowering to you? Which one feels like you have a say or get a vote?

I was around significant victim mentality throughout my childhood, and I hadn’t realized how ingrained it was within my own psyche until very recently. It’s hard to love the world that you grew up hearing is nothing but full of people that cannot be trusted. So, subconsciously that is all I have ever done, which is trying to be someone the world will love and trust; unconditionally. And with this core belief running the show from behind the scenes, I was so lost in my own story that I actually believed it was all real. But one thing I must give myself credit for is that I never stopped asking questions or seeking knowledge. At least I was curious about the reality I had invented without my knowledge. 😉

I had to learn on my own that love is best served without an agenda. Have you ever seen someone capable of literally turning off their “love” like a switch? Perhaps over a single act or mistake? I realize this is broad speculation, however when it comes to just an automated reaction over being offended by something you have limited information on, then we need to revisit whether this is coming from a place that is serving us in a positive way. Usually, this happens when we react from the emotional, ego-driven mind, rather than the neutral heart space. Love must be unconditional, or it simply is not love.

I’ve also learned that when you don’t withhold love when people disappoint you or fail to meet your expectations, or don’t fit a mold…you allow people to learn and grow in the space you create for them. This is not a task for the weak nor an excuse for intentional abusive douchebaggery. Learn the difference between mistakes and personality traits, it will save you a lot of heartaches and worry, most likely about shit that is not even true. It’s simple really, don’t judge.

What I prefer to do is live life in between these two lessons in what I’m going to call ‘intellectual intuition’. It’s where I will always take into account what my ego/mind/fear has to bring to the table because it drives and pushes me to move and act. And it makes me stronger the more I face it and heal the traumas of the past lingering in the shadows as we all can do. But my heart..beating with the rhythm of life, and rippling out into a wide electromagnetic field, will always be my spiritual compass; both my intellect and my intuition.

And if you can learn to walk the thin line between the two, you will come to find that the opinions of others become less of an influence on you and how your form your beliefs. You begin to trust yourself because you have pulled all that power back that you’ve put out into the world you could never trust. We’ve since learned to trust the Universe. Now…let’s work on trusting ourselves, shall we?


Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on Facebook and Twitter 

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Undaunting Acceptance: How to Be Okay With Not Being Okay

Image result for acceptanceIf you’re anything like me, you’re often kinder to others than you are to yourself and may have this habit of putting yourself down when you hit a bump in the road on the road towards your current goal.

You may also have trouble asking others for help when you need it, but often assume the role of the giver, listener, healer, and helper for those you love and care about. You may be awesome at giving advice and looking at the issues in the lives of others objectively, but not so great at following that advice or pinpointing clarity when it comes to issues in your own life.

You may love to encourage and uplift those you love and celebrate when they achieve something they’ve set to complete, but you may not even acknowledge your own accomplishments as often as you should…

So, I’ll ask frankly…what’s up with that???

Well, if your anything else like me, then you’re also stubborn as a mule when things don’t go your way. It’s funny because sometimes I swear I can literally hear my inner child kicking and screaming in resentment, throwing herself a fine little pity party! But it is here, within this moment, where we can either go on living as we have been, repeating the same experiences that cause us to get mad at ourselves and our lives and the Universe over and over again, or we can stop, observe and for a moment in time, stop freaking judging ourselves! 🙂 We can stop yelling at the little girl and instead give her a big fat hug.

Because of how we are conditioned from early on in life, we literally tend to be our harshest critics, but personally, I’m a Capricorn and we take that stuff to a whole new level! It’s also always been hardest for me not knowing HOW things were going to work out and in just the last year, that has literally been my signature lesson to learn. More times than I can count I’ve had to trust in the Universe and just KNOW that everything was going to be okay and you know what? Every single time everything DID turn out okay! I’m not saying the struggle disappeared instantaneously, no, but a simple shift in my perception of the experience and the outcome, and the letting go of my need to control every little aspect of it, was in turn, what set me free…the less I focused on the lack, the more value I was able to see in what I had all along…

Sometimes my stubbornness had backed me into a proverbial corner of my own self-sabotaging consequences and it was all for an illusion stemming from a fear of lacking control. See, the stories we tell ourselves can literally make or break us! And if we keep telling ourselves the same old negative story full of fear and lack, eventually we do believe it at a cellular level and that can manifest as sickness or even worse, disease.

In letting go of my need for judgment, I created a space for acceptance that wasn’t there before. And with that came the ability to not feel the fear that exists with not knowing how things will turn out, but still being able to face the day and do the things you need to do with your head up, regardless of the fear you’re feeling. It’s not the repression or denial of fear, but the use of it as a tool for learning and growth. When we can accept was IS, we allow what will be…

What I’ve come to learn is that we all need one another and we all have gifts, talents, and abilities to share with the world. Furthermore, for us to not ask each other for help or to refuse assistance is to deny others their own opportunities for expanding these abilities and denying them a great opportunity for their own soul progressions.

So, while in the midst of the dust storm it’s hard to imagine the beauty of a clear, blue sky…in your heart, you always know it’s there. It’s that level of knowledge you must show up with for yourself and once you begin to do that, you will naturally begin to trust not only in yourself and your decisions but in the Universe as well and while you will never stop hearing from that inner child of yours, at least now she’s more likely to be singing your praises. And you deserve it!

We are all splinters of Divinity, which is perfect. We are not broken, we are “flawed” so our light can get out and shine upon the world. In doing this, the world reflects back to us our illusions of imperfection which we can choose to believe or not. It’s when we forget our Divinity, that we fall victim to our stories and struggles. Let your pain stretch and mold you, but never let it make you hard or bind you. Let it expand your heart, not make it cold. When you accept yourself, you tell the Universe you are willing to let go of your old stories. So, what are you waiting for? As soon as you allow it to be okay, it will all be okay. And you know what? It will always be okay…even when it’s not!


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on Facebook and Twitter 

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

5 Ways Sexual Abuse Can Impact People

It seems like there are too many sexual abuse news stories these days. The Catholic church has had to pay victims millions of dollars, and the Boy Scouts of America has as well. These are organizations that should have nurtured their young participants, but instead, they scarred many of them for life.

There are many ways that sexual abuse survivors might feel the impact for the rest of their lives. We’ll take a moment to discuss a few of those right here.

You Might Abandon Your Religion

When someone suffers sexual abuse, they often seek compensation from the individual or organization who perpetrated it or allowed it to go on. They sometimes face limitation statutes, though. For instance, in California, you must begin civil court legal proceedings within eight years of reaching the majority age.

Even if you suffered sexual abuse and you’re able to successfully receive monetary compensation for it, that does not mean you’ll ever get your innocence back. If a clergy member harmed you, that might mean:

  • You’ll turn away from your faith
  • You’ll question why this happened to you

Faith is something that you feel. If your parents or family bring you up in a particular religion, you might feel inclusion there, and you might feel a deity’s presence. Alternatively, you may decide that religion is not for you, and as an adult, you might seek a different spiritual path.

If a clergy member molested you, that might scar you for life. You might try to get over it in different ways, and maybe you will fully or partially succeed. However, you might no longer feel that particular deity’s love or that you’re a part of their plan at all.

You might take up a different religion, or you may become an atheist or an agnostic. What happened might have tainted that particular religion for you.

You Could Have a Hard Time Trusting People

When someone sexually molests you, you probably trusted them, and they betrayed that trust. That’s hard when the person:

  • Should have protected you
  • Was an older, influential figure

Whether it was a family friend, scout leader, religious figure, coach, teacher, etc., you might have liked them once, but then they revealed their predatory aspect. Later in your life, you might grapple with trust issues that may never completely go away.

You may not be completely able to trust your significant other. You may partner with someone and try to be exclusive with them, but their motivation might be a tricky issue for you. You might feel like they’re with you for your money, that they’re cheating on you, or they don’t love you or care about you as much as they claim.

It might take you years of therapy to get to a point where you have a healthy relationship with your spouse or partner and the other important people in your life. You’ll have to work through your feelings, and hopefully, those close to you will be patient while that happens.

You Might Have Drug or Alcohol Issues

If someone molests you, it leaves psychological scars. Even for the strongest or most capable person, that is true.

If you’re in this position, you might struggle with your memories and buried feelings as an adult. They may haunt you, and you’re unable to drive them away fully.

If that’s true, you might use drugs or alcohol to keep your feelings at bay. When you’re drunk or high, you might be able to forget them for a time, so you could face addiction.

If so, you will have to come up with other, healthier pain-coping methods. You might need to go into AA or NA, or similar programs. Talking with others who have been through what you have might help you.

You Could Have Intimacy Issues

If someone molested you in the past, you will carry that with you. You might marry someone or cohabitate with them years later, and you might want to have a physical relationship with them.

You may be able to do that with no problems. If you’re in the act, though, you might have a flashback to what took place so many years ago.

You might withdraw from your spouse or partner at that time. That might surprise them, especially if you have not disclosed your past.

You will have to figure out how much you want to tell them. You may want to keep it to yourself entirely. However, many relationships feature physical intimacy as a significant part of them.

A time might come when you’ll have to tell your spouse or partner about what happened to you. Doing so will not be easy. You will have to trust them and doing so will be a major leap of faith on your part.

You Might Consider Suicide or Self-Harm

Those who someone abused when they were younger often think about self-harm, or they carry it out. You might cut yourself, burn yourself, or engage in similar behaviors.

You also might think about suicide often. You may think about how you would do it. You might even get a gun or pills, believing that the option is there for you if the pain ever grows too great.

If this happens, you should seek help. You might talk to your spouse or partner, your siblings, parents, or other family members, or your therapist. If you are considering killing yourself, you have reached a crisis point, and you may need someone to intervene.

You should remember there are people in your life who love you and care about you. A horrible person might have done something to you, but not everyone is like that. There are good, kind people in the world and they make life worth living.

That’s not always the easiest thing to remember, but you have to try. If you give up and attempt to take your own life or sink deeply into depression, you let your abuser continue controlling you.