What is the Paradox of Personal Power?

The Paradox Of Technology And 5 Ways To Avoid It - The latest Voice of  Customer and CX trends | Usabilla BlogAnyone who’s been doing it for a while knows that a key element in manifesting what you want is actually letting go of what you want.

Yep, you read that right. In order to have what you want, you just need to be willing to let it go. It’s a perfect paradox that life has set up and if we dig a little deeper this would be the step where after putting out your intentions, you then surrender any hold on how it needs to show up. Meaning, you can’t hold it in your mind in such a specific way that it closes you off from other opportunities the Universe is trying to bring it to you with. You miss what is often right in front of you because you are only expecting it to show you how you have it planned in your mind.

This is why you need to put it out there what you want, resonate with it…feel as it is yours, as it’s here with you, but don’t even consider a thought about how it got here. That is the Universe’s job and it is damn well good at it.

Now, a key of personal power is not often needed unless control over something else is intended. While the goal for the Spiritual Alchemist is to quiet (and learn from) the Ego Mind, expand from our traumas and trials, and be open to more abundance and joy in our lives. Everything in nature is cyclical, and our very own existence in nature is no different. Our own individual evolution through time and space is just as expansive as the tree rings of a great redwood. And this process of growth doesn’t need to be controlled but rather will flourish if left to its devices.

So, we might be mindful to look at it as we’re not necessarily shooting for fighting against darkness or fighting for light. That is key to remember; it’s about balancing both elements because both are equal in value and service to your soul’s growth in the lessons they offer. It is what you do with your experiences and lessons that determine your character and vibration and ultimately how large your energetic space in the world expands.

What is great about this is we have free will. It is always a choice. We can remain resentful of those that betrayed us before we had the conscious awareness to care for ourselves, whether that be our parents, teachers, even ourselves…, but if we can keep the focus on reclaiming that power back that was taken during that time, we allow ourselves the ability to continue our UP-ward spiral of expansion and we continue to flow with nature. We literally can FEEL when we are in this flow, and we can all admit that it feels pretty fucking amazing.

When we are connected to our soul purpose, our clear inner voice that is always trying to be heard under the clutter of other people’s beliefs, opinions, etc, that are stacked high in our subconscious minds, we have literally embodied “peace”. People who are happy all the time are faking it, I’m sorry. And people who are pissed off all the time are faking it too. Anytime you have to put conscious EFFORT into BEING a certain way, you are NOT being yourself, and this is why it doesn’t feel right deep down in your soul.

This is also why deep down we give ourselves so much shit for it and sometimes lash out at others when we’re really just so ticked of at ourselves that we haven’t yet figured out that we’re not supposed to drown in the bad times or lose ourselves in the good times. Paradox Dictionary Definition" Art Board Print by Primly | Redbubble

We are meant to flow through them all, arms out, ready to grab life by the balls. Ready to experience all it has to offer in those experiences (yes good or bad), and when you can be conscious of that outside of the emotions that come with these experiences, you have discovered who YOU are in there. And the more you stay aware of this truth, the easier it becomes to not attach to emotions and moments and not be so reactive. It becomes more natural to, well…be natural. To be neutral; to be at peace.

And when you finally learn to find your inner peace, you become the most powerful being on this plane of existence, yet may find no desire to use said power in any said direction. Because there’s no more looking. No more need to look. Just acceptance of what IS. Pure “Is-ness”, if you will. And it is only as much as “it is” in how it supersedes its need to be.

I hope I didn’t lose you there, but again you have to be willing to lose it all to have it all. And I hope you all have the most peaceful (yet maybe a little paradoxical) weekend! 🙂


Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Empath Survival 101: How to Stop Breaking Your Own Heart

Image result for quotes about empathsThis week I wanted to write about a topic near and dear to my heart; empathy. It goes without saying that feelings of empathy are what connect the hearts of humanity and are the ties that bind us all throughout the cosmos and across all of time and space. It is what allows us to literally step into the shoes of another and experience their perspective, their view, and even sometimes their thoughts, energy and feelings as intensely and as vividly as they do themselves.

Most of us are born with an innate sense of empathy and if we see someone or something in pain, we get a tingle in our gut that makes us want to reach out and console or help them. We feel deep down that connection I mentioned earlier, even if we cannot on the surface of our consciousness fully understand why or where these feeling are coming from.

In today’s society, sadly many of us are unaware of the magnificent details of this connection and most are certainly not taught about it in school or from our parents. But some of us, those we call Emotional or Intuitive Empaths, are born with such capabilities that they without effort absorb and pick up on the energies, thoughts and feelings of those around them and therefore are forced to explore this extra-sensory avenue of our physical capabilities. I, to my blessing and also to my demise, am one of these people.

I haven’t shared this truth about myself with many people as I was growing up as even at the age of 3 I knew I was different and felt like an outcast. I knew things adults around me didn’t and frankly I found out the hard way that most adults do not appreciate being corrected, especially by a child. I got kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions about God that couldn’t be answered, and often was asked to leave classrooms for the same reason. I just couldn’t turn off this endless sense of curiosity and wonderment in my brain about the world around me, and with the constant bombardment of emotions, feelings, thoughts and energy that were not merely of my own creation, but of those around me, I was always stimulated, energetically triggered, pushed and pulled emotionally and for a kid not knowing what the hell is happening, it can be quite confusing.

Universities even studied my abilities as a child, but for me personally, it was up to me to find out the answers about who I was, what these gifts were, why they were endowed to me, and what purpose they served for me on my path in life. For many years I hated them and just wanted them to go away. I hid them from my friends and just played the role of the friend who always gave good advice and was a good listener. The friend who always knew what you were feeling. I became so embedded in my own disguise that in my 20‘s I had no idea who I was and tried to find myself in drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex, and unhealthy relationships that only left me feeling used and abused…and rightly so. Image result for quotes about empaths

Today, at age 41 I have no regrets and many goals and dreams ahead of me, but I was recently reminded of just how fragile the heart truly is and just how much more growing I have to do. I had thought I knew the scope of my gifts, but I finally know now that I am here to use them for the greater good, not to hide them away in shame. And I feel I’m finally ready to do that. You see when you live for others for your entire life, even the idea of self-love feels foreign to you. It is something that comes riddled with guilt and shame because you are just not used to putting yourself first.

However, I know in my heart of hearts that I must come out of this dark night of the soul rising high with the sun and with pride and remembrance of who I chose to not only be but BECOME in this lifetime. If that can inspire just one person to also have the courage to live their truth and not be afraid of who they are, they I will have used my gifts in the way they were intended.

For the majority of my life, I’ve built walls to protect myself and to take care of others. But I realize now and I share this insight with not only other Empaths out there but anyone who feels like they always put themselves out there, just to have their hearts broken over and over again; that we must first LIVE for ourselves so we can LEARN to LOVE for ourselves. Then and only then will we stop breaking our own hearts, and be able to authentically show up in the space that the Universe has carved out just for us. For we are all sparks of divine light, but we must be willing to turn our focus inward because this light resides within our own hearts and can only be seen once we fully embrace our own soul, our own spirit for the perfect imperfection; the sliver of magnificence that it is.

tamara Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. 

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to TamaraRant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




Why Bad Things Happen To Good People

Shit happens.

This is a fact of life that is unavoidable.

Life has no favorites. Being born into the human experience is challenging.

Whether you are the Dalai Lama. Gandhi. Oprah. Mandela.

There’s a myth that if you do the right things, you pray, meditate, are a good person, follow all the rules, are spiritual and loving, this will exempt you from the challenges of life.

This is simply not the case.

We are souls having a human experience in order to learn and remember who we really are.

Life is a school for the evolution of your soul. The way you learn is through experiences. You often learn the most through the difficult ones.

Every experience and relationship is here to serve the evolution of your soul’s growth. Although it may not always seem that way at first.

Quite frankly when you are in the midst of a break up, financial crisis, betrayal, illness or your life falling apart, it’s difficult to see how it all makes sense.

Just because you don’t understand what’s going on in the moment doesn’t mean that there isn’t a bigger perfection at work.

So when you are in the midst of a difficult situation, rather than asking yourself, “Why is this happening to me?”, which keeps you locked into being powerless and a victim.

Get curious and ask, “What is my soul seeking to learn through this experience?”

And really listen.

If you remain open you will FEEL the answer.

When you truly understand that your soul is here to evolve, then you go beyond seeing things as good or bad.

Every experience is a huge growth opportunity.

So don’t pray for life to get easier, pray to expand your inner strength.

Sometimes the bigger your soul’s assignment on this planet, the more you will have to go through in order to accelerate your soul learnings.

When you are on the spiritual path and pray to be more spiritual, sometimes your difficult times are actually the Universe’s response to your soul’s request.

It’s nothing bad or that you did something wrong. It’s through these experiences that you are forced to grow and realize more of who you really are and put your spirituality into action.

If you are in the midst of a crisis, congratulations….. It simply means that you have outgrown the current level of your life and something more is seeking to be expressed through you.

When you are in it, know that you have what it takes to deal with it. And not only is it happening for a reason, it’s happening because your soul is ready to handle it.

Embrace the opportunity to grow and become more of who you really are.

Trust that you are ready.

Trust life.



Kute BlacksonKute Blackson is an utterly unique visionary in the world of human potential. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s life work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. Acclaimed worldwide for his life changing, one of a kind, transformational experiences, he is considered one of the leading voices in the fields of transformation and spirituality.

How to Make Dating a Positive Experience

Let’s face it: dating is tough! Sure, it can be fun sometimes, but it can also be extremely challenging at times. And if you have been burned in the past by your exes, you are tired of meeting people that you don’t really get along with, or you are worried about getting hurt and have closed yourself off as a result, dating can be a truly negative experience. But you can change this if you put some effort into it. Check out the tips below to learn about a few ways to make dating a more positive experience.

Consider Using a Dating App

There are pros and cons that come with dating apps, just like anything else in life. But there are plenty of reasons to give one a try if you want to make dating a more positive experience.

Basically, when you use a dating app, you can share what you want about yourself, and you can remain in control over who you want to talk to. You let the app do the work of showcasing potential matches, and then you decide if you want to move ahead with any of them to get to know them better.

Dating apps aren’t only for young people, by the way. If you are dating over 40, you can visit https://meetville.com/catalog/us/page/1426-over-40-s to take advantage of a dating site that will help you find people who are in the same age range and share similar interests. So, anyone can take advantage of these apps when they’re ready.

Start a Gratitude Journal

Another way to remain positive despite dating challenges is by making a list of things that you are currently grateful for.

When you are dating, you are looking toward the future. You want to find someone that will be your perfect match, that you will hopefully marry, and that you might even start a family with. But all of that can quickly take you out of the present. And it can also become frustrating when you don’t meet the ideal person, despite going on so many dates, because you’re reminding yourself of what you are lacking.

By keeping a journal and writing down everything you are grateful for, whether that’s once a day, once a week, or once a month, you can continually remind yourself of the fact that your life is pretty amazing just the way it is, and dating is just one component of it.

Have Fun When You Go on Dates

Whether you are using an online app to start dating mature singles on Meetville or you have met someone at a party or through a friend, if you are going to head out on your first date, go into it with a positive attitude.

Regardless of how many bad dates you’ve been on recently, every new date is a new opportunity to get to know someone and some have fun. Whether you hit it off or not, enjoy the experience. That way, you can look back on it and at least say that you had fun even if you never see that person again.

With the right attitude, you can attract more positivity into your life. If you’re tired of dating, shifting your mindset might be just what you need to start enjoying the experience more, rather than seeing it as something that you don’t like doing.

Vulnerability: The Love You Show is the Love You Grow

The hidden gift of love itself is that you must be willing to be vulnerable, to be open and to have your heart broken in order to explore its deepest depths. When you surrender to your truth and fully expose yourself to another in that way, love will pour into that space in immeasurable ways. This does not equate to rainbows and butterflies where everything is peaceful 100% of the time, but rather it creates a space where conflict can be resolved in a calm and respectful manner that goes less through mirroring and more through compassion, understanding and a mutual goal of both persons wishing to grow, expand and heal their unresolved shadows/core beliefs that are no longer serving them in the most positive of ways.

I truly feel that humanity is headed towards a more heart-based living all around. Relationships, in general, are getting more personal, even if it may appear that the world of technology is pushing us all apart or that war and greed are doing more of the same while also destroying our beautiful Mother Earth. The trick to stopping the cycle of destruction and tipping the scales back to center starts within each and every one of us.

When we teach our children self-love, that their feelings matter, to explore meditation and understand energy and the potentials of manifesting and creating in 3D reality, we begin a new wave of conscious creativity; one that has been dormant since the great Ascended Masters of Atlantis. But the wave is coming, and in fact, it’s already touched a million shores. But to see the change, we need to first be willing to BE IT.

To me, this has always been the ultimate expression of love; self-care. When we take the time to heal our own shit, explore our inner workings, build our talents, share our gifts and go after our dreams we stop being just another face in the crowd and start becoming one who is not only true to themselves, but also is brave enough to be a beacon for others.

And this is the energy and light the wave is carrying across the consciousness of humanity, and it travels on the frequency of L-O-V-E. No shocker there, though right? <3 What will heal humanity is ultimately what we can also use to heal our very own hearts after a break-up. Our feelings are so much more powerful than we’ve ever been taught to believe.

When we enter a new relationship, we often use negative, empty implicating words that we might not notice the effects of like “falling in love” or “losing myself in you” or “you complete me”. All of these phrases imply we are only halves of our true selves and while I get that people want the other to feel wanted and needed, the reason strong relationships last is because they contain two people who can stand on their own, who simply chose to come together for mutual pleasure. Not because the sole underlying drive in our heart is a “need”.

The best way to rise up after falling deeply in love is to fall back into love, but this time with you! Seriously, I’m talking being awesome to yourself and quitting all of the self-sabotage crap. For once, whether you are in a relationship with another person or not, stop and take a minute and reflect in the glory of your OWN awesomeness. You will be surprised at what opportunities just might open up for you! 🙂

Have a love-filled weekend!

And no matter where you are, you are WHOLE and COMPLETE as you are in this moment! <3

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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The Void We Avoid: How We Are Ever-Escaping Ego Evolution

I feel as if society is about to merge a seemingly ending period of craziness with another that’s just beginning as we roll onto into (or fall down a flight of proverbial steps into) 2021. Last year proved to be the year where the world went to shit, while my own personal little one was blooming me into motherhood. Up was down, in was out and whatever was reported on mainstream media “news” could be outrightly called the exact opposite of bi-partisan reporting. But then again, what else is new?

The media has once and for all gone too far and perhaps has been the catalyst to finally wake the rest of the people up as there remain those so ingrained in their own beliefs that they refused to question anything the talking heads of media told them to do, regardless of how hard it insulted our senses of normalcy or made any sense at all. It was literally the year that showed who has been doing their research and who would rather be governed with lies and told what to do like children.

Any who, that brings us to our dear old friend the ego. Most people think the ego is a terrible thing that must be squished and really has no positive attributes and nothing good to teach us. This couldn’t be farther from the truth as the ego is your greatest emotional compass. If you are at the level of conscious awareness to be able to look at your ego from an objective standpoint, you can observe how it reacts to things, likes to always take the lead, and how it protects itself no matter what. The ego hates change and will do whatever it takes to keep things in your life just as they are.

When we are able to pick up on these cues, we can use the ego as the tool it was meant to be and let it show us those areas that perhaps we need to look at within ourselves. Those places where we hold fear and might put up walls with people. Or those places where we get reactive quickly and our temper takes over. Whatever area you see yourself reacting emotionally is an excellent indicator that it is your ego holding the reigns and not your conscious Self with a capital S who is grounded and centered in the heart-mind.

When we are grounded and centered, we always give ourselves that moment to choose our responses instead of unconsciously reacting to things all the time. And the more you do it, the more empowering it becomes. This is how you evolve your ego (into a more useful tool); by stepping up and calling the shots when you can see how the ego is holding you back in places you know you need to progress. If there’s something you’re struggling with to reach your goal, for instance, say you want to be a motivational speaker, but large crowds frighten you, then your conscious self would turn towards the fear, knowing that is where your growth lies. You would recognize that your ego would want to do a complete 180 the other way.

Image result for egoMost of us have experience making both conscious choices as well as letting our egos do it for us. Some of us are put more energy into making sure our egos don’t rule our lives, while others let it run wild. This is always easy to recognize as what I call “loud insecurities” that often come out in the form of bragging, not appreciating things, taking things for granted, etc.

Another way our egos play a huge role is when it comes to our personal relationships. Unless we have actually taken that time to really get to know ourselves and have put in the work it takes to master habits and consciously create our character, then we will always reflect and project in our relationships. We pretty much all do it, and it’s really how we learn…about ourselves. What we can’t see in ourselves, we will be forced to see in another.

When we choose to depend on others to create feelings within us, maintain certain emotions, or withhold certain expectations is to take control over another life and to at the same time take responsibility for our own emotions and put them in the hands of another, when no one else but ourselves even has the power to do so. It simply appears that others make us feel this way or that way, but they are simply bringing forth things that already exist within us. Perhaps they may feel foreign or like they’ve been laying dormant for decades, but I promise you, everything you have ever needed, need now, and will ever need is already within you. You are not empty, you are full of infinite awareness just waiting to become aware of its own infinity.


Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to TamaraRant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Intellectual Intuition: Where Epistemology Meets Enlightenment

I am literally convinced that I came careening into this world an infant epistemologist seeking enlightenment. But, who isn’t? 😉 No seriously. I mean think about it, whether we are aware of it or not, we are all here for a reason, right? And we can choose to believe that reason is meaningless and minute or a pretty fucking big deal. But what I’ve come to learn is the ever-priceless lesson, that no matter what you believe…you are absolutely correct.

You see it is not always that things just ‘are’, but rather they are ‘as we see them’. Perception is an objective woman and she is never taking sides with any one person. She will always cater to the individual and encourage them that what she is showing them; the picture she has designed up based upon past experiences and beliefs, is the absolute truth about what is being experienced in the present moment.

Regardless, whether you believe you played a role in designing your path and now creating the drama unfolding as ‘your life’, it IS unfolding. The only other option I can think of is to believe that shit just randomly happens to us; which is, of course, worth entertaining just as much as the next belief. But which feels more empowering to you? Which one feels like you have a say or get a vote?

I was around significant victim mentality throughout my childhood, and I hadn’t realized how ingrained it was within my own psyche until very recently. It’s hard to love the world that you grew up hearing is nothing but full of people that cannot be trusted. So, subconsciously that is all I have ever done, which is trying to be someone the world will love and trust; unconditionally. And with this core belief running the show from behind the scenes, I was so lost in my own story that I actually believed it was all real. But one thing I must give myself credit for is that I never stopped asking questions or seeking knowledge. At least I was curious about the reality I had invented without my knowledge. 😉

I had to learn on my own that love is best served without an agenda. Have you ever seen someone capable of literally turning off their “love” like a switch? Perhaps over a single act or mistake? I realize this is broad speculation, however when it comes to just an automated reaction over being offended by something you have limited information on, then we need to revisit whether this is coming from a place that is serving us in a positive way. Usually, this happens when we react from the emotional, ego-driven mind, rather than the neutral heart space. Love must be unconditional, or it simply is not love.

I’ve also learned that when you don’t withhold love when people disappoint you or fail to meet your expectations, or don’t fit a mold…you allow people to learn and grow in the space you create for them. This is not a task for the weak nor an excuse for intentional abusive douchebaggery. Learn the difference between mistakes and personality traits, it will save you a lot of heartaches and worry, most likely about shit that is not even true. It’s simple really, don’t judge.

What I prefer to do is live life in between these two lessons in what I’m going to call ‘intellectual intuition’. It’s where I will always take into account what my ego/mind/fear has to bring to the table because it drives and pushes me to move and act. And it makes me stronger the more I face it and heal the traumas of the past lingering in the shadows as we all can do. But my heart..beating with the rhythm of life, and rippling out into a wide electromagnetic field, will always be my spiritual compass; both my intellect and my intuition.

And if you can learn to walk the thin line between the two, you will come to find that the opinions of others become less of an influence on you and how your form your beliefs. You begin to trust yourself because you have pulled all that power back that you’ve put out into the world you could never trust. We’ve since learned to trust the Universe. Now…let’s work on trusting ourselves, shall we?


Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on Facebook and Twitter 

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Undaunting Acceptance: How to Be Okay With Not Being Okay

Image result for acceptanceIf you’re anything like me, you’re often kinder to others than you are to yourself and may have this habit of putting yourself down when you hit a bump in the road on the road towards your current goal.

You may also have trouble asking others for help when you need it, but often assume the role of the giver, listener, healer, and helper for those you love and care about. You may be awesome at giving advice and looking at the issues in the lives of others objectively, but not so great at following that advice or pinpointing clarity when it comes to issues in your own life.

You may love to encourage and uplift those you love and celebrate when they achieve something they’ve set to complete, but you may not even acknowledge your own accomplishments as often as you should…

So, I’ll ask frankly…what’s up with that???

Well, if your anything else like me, then you’re also stubborn as a mule when things don’t go your way. It’s funny because sometimes I swear I can literally hear my inner child kicking and screaming in resentment, throwing herself a fine little pity party! But it is here, within this moment, where we can either go on living as we have been, repeating the same experiences that cause us to get mad at ourselves and our lives and the Universe over and over again, or we can stop, observe and for a moment in time, stop freaking judging ourselves! 🙂 We can stop yelling at the little girl and instead give her a big fat hug.

Because of how we are conditioned from early on in life, we literally tend to be our harshest critics, but personally, I’m a Capricorn and we take that stuff to a whole new level! It’s also always been hardest for me not knowing HOW things were going to work out and in just the last year, that has literally been my signature lesson to learn. More times than I can count I’ve had to trust in the Universe and just KNOW that everything was going to be okay and you know what? Every single time everything DID turn out okay! I’m not saying the struggle disappeared instantaneously, no, but a simple shift in my perception of the experience and the outcome, and the letting go of my need to control every little aspect of it, was in turn, what set me free…the less I focused on the lack, the more value I was able to see in what I had all along…

Sometimes my stubbornness had backed me into a proverbial corner of my own self-sabotaging consequences and it was all for an illusion stemming from a fear of lacking control. See, the stories we tell ourselves can literally make or break us! And if we keep telling ourselves the same old negative story full of fear and lack, eventually we do believe it at a cellular level and that can manifest as sickness or even worse, disease.

In letting go of my need for judgment, I created a space for acceptance that wasn’t there before. And with that came the ability to not feel the fear that exists with not knowing how things will turn out, but still being able to face the day and do the things you need to do with your head up, regardless of the fear you’re feeling. It’s not the repression or denial of fear, but the use of it as a tool for learning and growth. When we can accept was IS, we allow what will be…

What I’ve come to learn is that we all need one another and we all have gifts, talents, and abilities to share with the world. Furthermore, for us to not ask each other for help or to refuse assistance is to deny others their own opportunities for expanding these abilities and denying them a great opportunity for their own soul progressions.

So, while in the midst of the dust storm it’s hard to imagine the beauty of a clear, blue sky…in your heart, you always know it’s there. It’s that level of knowledge you must show up with for yourself and once you begin to do that, you will naturally begin to trust not only in yourself and your decisions but in the Universe as well and while you will never stop hearing from that inner child of yours, at least now she’s more likely to be singing your praises. And you deserve it!

We are all splinters of Divinity, which is perfect. We are not broken, we are “flawed” so our light can get out and shine upon the world. In doing this, the world reflects back to us our illusions of imperfection which we can choose to believe or not. It’s when we forget our Divinity, that we fall victim to our stories and struggles. Let your pain stretch and mold you, but never let it make you hard or bind you. Let it expand your heart, not make it cold. When you accept yourself, you tell the Universe you are willing to let go of your old stories. So, what are you waiting for? As soon as you allow it to be okay, it will all be okay. And you know what? It will always be okay…even when it’s not!


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on Facebook and Twitter 

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

5 Ways Sexual Abuse Can Impact People

It seems like there are too many sexual abuse news stories these days. The Catholic church has had to pay victims millions of dollars, and the Boy Scouts of America has as well. These are organizations that should have nurtured their young participants, but instead, they scarred many of them for life.

There are many ways that sexual abuse survivors might feel the impact for the rest of their lives. We’ll take a moment to discuss a few of those right here.

You Might Abandon Your Religion

When someone suffers sexual abuse, they often seek compensation from the individual or organization who perpetrated it or allowed it to go on. They sometimes face limitation statutes, though. For instance, in California, you must begin civil court legal proceedings within eight years of reaching the majority age.

Even if you suffered sexual abuse and you’re able to successfully receive monetary compensation for it, that does not mean you’ll ever get your innocence back. If a clergy member harmed you, that might mean:

  • You’ll turn away from your faith
  • You’ll question why this happened to you

Faith is something that you feel. If your parents or family bring you up in a particular religion, you might feel inclusion there, and you might feel a deity’s presence. Alternatively, you may decide that religion is not for you, and as an adult, you might seek a different spiritual path.

If a clergy member molested you, that might scar you for life. You might try to get over it in different ways, and maybe you will fully or partially succeed. However, you might no longer feel that particular deity’s love or that you’re a part of their plan at all.

You might take up a different religion, or you may become an atheist or an agnostic. What happened might have tainted that particular religion for you.

You Could Have a Hard Time Trusting People

When someone sexually molests you, you probably trusted them, and they betrayed that trust. That’s hard when the person:

  • Should have protected you
  • Was an older, influential figure

Whether it was a family friend, scout leader, religious figure, coach, teacher, etc., you might have liked them once, but then they revealed their predatory aspect. Later in your life, you might grapple with trust issues that may never completely go away.

You may not be completely able to trust your significant other. You may partner with someone and try to be exclusive with them, but their motivation might be a tricky issue for you. You might feel like they’re with you for your money, that they’re cheating on you, or they don’t love you or care about you as much as they claim.

It might take you years of therapy to get to a point where you have a healthy relationship with your spouse or partner and the other important people in your life. You’ll have to work through your feelings, and hopefully, those close to you will be patient while that happens.

You Might Have Drug or Alcohol Issues

If someone molests you, it leaves psychological scars. Even for the strongest or most capable person, that is true.

If you’re in this position, you might struggle with your memories and buried feelings as an adult. They may haunt you, and you’re unable to drive them away fully.

If that’s true, you might use drugs or alcohol to keep your feelings at bay. When you’re drunk or high, you might be able to forget them for a time, so you could face addiction.

If so, you will have to come up with other, healthier pain-coping methods. You might need to go into AA or NA, or similar programs. Talking with others who have been through what you have might help you.

You Could Have Intimacy Issues

If someone molested you in the past, you will carry that with you. You might marry someone or cohabitate with them years later, and you might want to have a physical relationship with them.

You may be able to do that with no problems. If you’re in the act, though, you might have a flashback to what took place so many years ago.

You might withdraw from your spouse or partner at that time. That might surprise them, especially if you have not disclosed your past.

You will have to figure out how much you want to tell them. You may want to keep it to yourself entirely. However, many relationships feature physical intimacy as a significant part of them.

A time might come when you’ll have to tell your spouse or partner about what happened to you. Doing so will not be easy. You will have to trust them and doing so will be a major leap of faith on your part.

You Might Consider Suicide or Self-Harm

Those who someone abused when they were younger often think about self-harm, or they carry it out. You might cut yourself, burn yourself, or engage in similar behaviors.

You also might think about suicide often. You may think about how you would do it. You might even get a gun or pills, believing that the option is there for you if the pain ever grows too great.

If this happens, you should seek help. You might talk to your spouse or partner, your siblings, parents, or other family members, or your therapist. If you are considering killing yourself, you have reached a crisis point, and you may need someone to intervene.

You should remember there are people in your life who love you and care about you. A horrible person might have done something to you, but not everyone is like that. There are good, kind people in the world and they make life worth living.

That’s not always the easiest thing to remember, but you have to try. If you give up and attempt to take your own life or sink deeply into depression, you let your abuser continue controlling you.

5 Simple Ways to Ask Someone Out on a Date

Nobody likes rejection. Scientific studies have shown that the emotional response from being rejected is similar to the pain we experience from physical injuries. No wonder some people feel it so bad that they end up making hurtful decisions.

Despite this, we cannot stop living and hide our emotional fears. We have to risk the possibility of rejection once in a while to get what we want in life. It is never easy, but it makes you stronger.

Read this article on five ways to ask someone out on a date. Whether you are a man wondering how to ask her out or a lady wishing to take this first step, this guide is for you.

1.    Make a Game Plan

The most important thing is to come up with a game plan. It is crucial that you reduce the risk of rejection as much as possible.

But don’t worry, this does not have to be something stressful either. You can make a simple plan that will get you a date and take the relationship to the next level if you wish to.

Here are a few things to do:

Find out if they are in a relationship

Being rejected never feels good. And even though it may not be something personal, it may still send a sensation to some people that they are not worthy.

If you a sensitive person, it might be even harder to understand why your crush rejected you. And hence, you want to reduce that risk as much as possible.

Establishing whether the person is in a relationship or not is a good way to do this. Besides, it will save you a great deal of effort and time.

How do you do this? Do not start by asking them directly if they are engaged. It is essentially guaranteed they will say no, and it is inappropriate and unfair to the person they are in a relationship with. Besides, it reflects poorly on your morality.

Use other ways to find out for yourself about their situation. It is always good to get to know someone well before asking them out. And this is one of the things you need to learn about the theme.

Be confident

We are only laying the foundation for asking someone out with a chance of getting a yes. Confidence is the number one trick to this game.

We already know that rejection is painful, and it’s a possibility. It is this fear that makes many people stay as far as possible. They think it is better for them to avoid taking a risk so that they won’t experience the consequences of rejection.

And yet, we must all be rejected at some point in life to grow. Hence, you need to gather your confidence and make your mark where it matters most.

Start by deciding beforehand what you will do if the answer is no. If you are asking a friend out, this will determine the fate of your friendship henceforth.

Preparing for rejection helps you deal with the emotional effect that comes with it. You don’t want to appear physically beaten before the other person.

But don’t let this preparation get in the way of your confidence. If anything, it should be the best way to build it by accepting that rejection is not the end, and you can always try with another person.

If possible, find out what you like in common

Thinking up good ideas for a date is never easy, especially if you don’t know the other person well. It would help tremendously if you knew what they like.

It could be music, some sport, or nature. Invite them to these events, and it will make your work much easier.

How do you want to ask them out?

Intending to ask someone out is very different from actually asking them. This is where things get more complicated.

If you are shy, consider sending them a text message or using social media. Texts are good when you’re afraid of the other person. At least this way you can hide your disappointment.

What if you don’t have their number yet? You might have to approach them physically. But don’t worry, this can be more rewarding than sending text messages.

2.    Asking out someone you know

Are you beginning to have more than normal feelings for your best friend? Well, there is no shame in telling them how you feel on the date.

The fact that you already know them does not mean it will be any easier asking them out. If anything, this could be the hardest thing for you. On the one hand, you want something more, but, on the other hand, you don’t want to lose their friendship.

Conversation starters

Begin with a casual conversation. Whether you are doing it in person or over text, this will help ease you toward the main question.

Send a check-up message. Something as simple as: “Hey, how are you doing?” If it is in person, just approach them with simple greetings. Make sure to keep a smile and eye contact.

Don’t ask them right away. Instead, ask them about their plans for the weekend, or any time you choose. This makes the conversation flow more naturally.

Ask them

You already know what activities they like by now, which should make things easier. Use this knowledge to ask them if they would like to go with you to do an activity.

If you cannot think of them, ask them out for a drink, dinner or lunch, a party, or ice-cream, among others. You should already have a good idea of what you are talking about.

Let them know it is not something too hard

It is crucial to tell them that there will be no hard feelings if they reject the invitation. This will set things clear so that those awkward moments that may follow are taken care of. It will also show them you are confident and mature enough to handle emotions.

3.    Asking someone you just Met

Asking a person you just met or want to meet out is more complicated. This is where the real rejection pain could come from.

However, if you really like them, it’s better that you do it once and for all. It will save you a lot of time and regret.

Make eye contact

Eye contact and a smile are the perfect signals to tell the other person that you like them. They may return the gesture, showing their interest too.

Do not be too quick to pursue if the person does not smile back and instead looks away. Find out if the person is really not interested, or if they are just shy. Don’t give up just yet.

Approach them and introduce yours

Always act confident when approaching someone you like. Even if you are shaking, do not let them see your fear. The first impression is crucial here, and confidence carries it all.

Find the right conversation starter

There are many ways of striking a conversation. Some start with a compliment, while others start with comments on what may be happening around them. Asking a question could also work well here. Think of something easy to ask them, but one that requires an open-ended response.

Ask them out

Once you have determined their interest, suggest meeting for a coffee, lunch, or dinner. Do not ask them out for a movie on the first date, as this may make it hard for you to get to know each other.

If she says ‘no,’ do not get emotional. Smile and say something like, “It was well worth a try and nice to meet you.” Do not disturb any further.

4.    Challenge them

Since you’ve already started a conversation and are interested, you can develop creative ways of asking them out.

Challenging them to do what you want them to, whether through a text or in-person, is another effective way of securing a date. Think of something like a fun dare game or a bet. But make sure they like the idea first.

“I bet you can never come up with a good date idea like I would (add your date idea). How about you?”

This can get them thinking of an idea to compare with yours, which you can work on to actualize. There is no better way to make someone go on a date with you than making it seem like the idea was theirs.

5.    Just Hit the Nail on the Head

Understanding that you may be rejected brings you the confidence to take your chances. You will be glad you got it over quickly, instead of living in a dilemma or regret not trying.

So, why don’t you just go ahead and ask them already? Whether you know them or not, it will be a good idea to get you going on with your life.

Body language is crucial in reading someone. Look into how someone may feel around you and use that to measure their reaction. This is easy when you are meeting in-person because you can discern her level of interest by looking out for reactions in her eye contact, whether she leans into you, innocently touches you, and many others.

If you are texting, consider how well they are responding to your texts. If they take too long or respond with short uninterested messages, that is not someone to continue with.

There you have it. Five simple ways of asking someone out on a date. The main point here is confidence.

Friendship Among the LGBT Community

In this current age and time, LGBT community is starting to be more open and confident with their feelings, with their personalities and their gender. Sure, not everyone is still open to it, but nevertheless, the acceptance now is greater than before.

If you are a lesbian, finding a girlfriend is easy, keeping the relationship last for a long time is hard. Of course, you want to be the best lesbian girlfriend, but considering that you also have needs, things may not be as easy and smooth sailing as you thought it is.

How To Be A Good Lesbian Girlfriend?

The question above is not the easiest to answer. Of course, you are not perfect and there are some limitations between a girl to girl relationship. Just like to any other relationships, this kind of relationship is always a work in progress and there are actually ways for you to be tagged as the best lesbian girlfriend ever.

To help you with it, here are some tips you can consider following:

  • Be a good listener

Make sure that you always listen to what your partner has to say. Understand her feelings and make sure that you are always there to give your support. You must not always do the talking, as just like you, your partner wants an ear that is always willing to listen.

If she has something to say, pause the slot you are playing and give her not just your ear but your mind and heart too. Many relationships including LGBT relationships break down to things like gambling and the connected financial issues, review websites such as Sistersite are responsible and help direct players to gambling helplines. Do not assume that you can multitask as when you listen, you have to give all your senses so that you can understand what she was trying to say.

  • All promises should be kept

If you tell her that you will bring her out on a date, make sure it will happen. Do not disappoint her at all. Promises are meant to be kept and not broken. If you have a plan, make sure that you tell her way in advance if it cannot push though and make sure that your reasons are valid.

Promises are meant to be kept and that is something you have to remind yourself all the time you say the word “Promise”.

  • Admit your mistakes

When you fight, admit your mistakes if you are at fault, and do not just say sorry just to end the conversation. Admit your mistake and make sure that you understand why you were wrong. Once admitted, do your best not to do it again.

  • Take good care of your own look

Sometimes, because you are too comfortable with each other, you already failed to take care of yourself. True that your heart and soul are more important than your looks but that should not make you look lousy and forget about proper grooming. Take good care of yourself, exercise, eat the right food, and exert an effort to always look and smell good. Taking care of yourself is almost the same as taking care of your relationship.

The (Half) Truth Movement and How it Affects You

I’ve always been the type of person to question just about everything I was ever told. From a very young age, I sensed that what most adults were teaching me (even my actual school teachers) about society and my place in it, was not always necessarily true, but rather something that was either told to them that that’s how it is, or it was simply their own opinions and beliefs. Prior to this realization I had thought adults knew everything

But after asking too many questions about God one day in Sunday school, my Mother was told to never bring me back again, because my incessant questioning was disturbing the class. This didn’t make sense to me as I thought, “How else am I to learn? To know?” and here I was being punished for simply trying to learn, so that I could actually know. So, I started to develop a serious resistance to authority because for me as a young girl, the trust bond had been irrevocably damaged as far as adults were concerned. I soon started asking myself, “Do adults really know anything?”

Being so young, however, it wasn’t always easy for me to consciously understand what these resistance feelings were or where they were coming from when it came to what I was being taught. I later learned, of course, that this inner knowing, that gut feeling, was merely my own intuition guiding me. I have since learned to trust that voice with everything I have.

Core beliefs about ourselves, others and the world are formed and ingrained at a very young age. And if we’re raised to believe that things are this way when they are actually that way, well it becomes simple to see how that might cause confusion and even chaos in our lives later on. If we never come to terms with the fact that many, if not most of our beliefs we carry today, were actually picked up and created as a child, then we will always see the world through a very opinionated filter; a lens that sees the world how we are, rather than how it truly is…

This is how so many of us live our lives, isn’t it? We just go around bouncing our unhealed shadows of one another like reflections in a swimming pool. We may be the type of person who doesn’t come through for themselves, and this will show up in our trouble with trusting others. We may accuse a lover of things we’ve done ourselves in the past. Or it may come from an unhealed past where there was betrayal and therefore now we have a hard time fully letting others in again.

This is exactly why personal relationships can offer so much growth, because when two people are putting their own “stuff” onto others, we tend to create situations that require us to really step up and show up (if we’d like to maintain the particular relationship, anyway). And while this can appear in our experiences as heart-break, a loss of trust, communication and self-esteem issues, what it really comes down to is that all of the “drama” is a result of our very own believing the illusion that anything out there is separate from ourselves. The one truth mystics and sages have spoken of for years is that we truly are ALL ONE. Now, this isn’t to say the meaning of this hasn’t ever been twisted and torn and bent to suit personal agendas.

With that being said, this week I wanted to write about the ongoing “truth movement” that has swept the globe in recent years, as well as offer some insight into how we can better tune into our own inner voice of intuition when it comes to knowing for yourself what may be inaccurate or disinformation.

Believe it or not, the spiritual community is heavily weighed with so-called gurus who lead from ego rather than heart, and whom tend to have mastered the art of taking money from people with low self-esteem.

While this isn’t the norm of course, there are many whom are profiting off people’s weaknesses and rather than helping people actually learn, grow and expand, they are monetizing these weakness to keep people living small. In other words, they place themselves above others and look to be seen in a position of “higher” knowing. But perhaps one of the greatest things I’ve ever learned personally is that we always have more to learn, and that once you think you’re “done” learning, you’ve dropped out of your heart and into your ego.

I’m not claiming to have any inside scoop or that my opinion matters more than anyone else’s. My goal in writing about this topic is to bring awareness to this often “hidden alley” of the spiritual community that many of us of us are not even aware of. You see, when I first discovered this online world of like-minded individuals I soaked it ALL up like a sponge. I was so ecstatic to find others just like me who saw the world a little differently than most.

I remember attending as many events and workshops that I could. And trust me when I say that 98% were absolutely amazing! But it’s that 2% I’d like to focus on for a moment and share the time I had a healer tell me I needed her and couldn’t ever heal myself. This was as when I realized that perhaps not everyone in this community is actually at the level of consciousness they claim to be.

It felt like my childhood realization regarding adults all over again…

But if anything, knowing this has allowed me to open my eyes to my own personal power. If it were not for the few “bad apples”, I don’t think I’d ever retaliate with a newfound sense of confidence to pursue my goals and dreams. I’d still be keeping myself living small and believing the lie that I couldn’t do it or that I’m not good enough.

So, today I thank those people (adults and false-gurus alike) for teaching me how to show up for myself and that I can trust my inner voice. It’s quite easy to become a self-help addict in that we keep ourselves in a perpetual state of “I’m getting there”, and never allowing ourselves to come through and cross that finish line. But the more we learn to discern and listen to that inner voice of intuition, we can more easily detect when someone else is also being wholly untruthful or maybe only telling you half. Either way, knowledge is power and when used with loving intentions, your very own personal power can literally move mountains.

Have a whole, honest, and powerful weekend everyone! <3

Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

10 Ways Cannabis Affects Libido, Testosterone & Sexual Performance

Video Source: Dr. Sam Robbins

Dr. Sam Robbins discusses 10 ways that cannabis affects sexual performance, testosterone, and libido. Here are the ten topics that he covers:
  1. Testosterone levels
  2. Libido
  3. Sex drive (physical & emotional)
  4. Orgasm quality
  5. Premature ejaculation
  6. Erectile dysfunction
  7. Man boobs/gynecomastia
  8. Sperm quality & fertility
  9. Sexual pleasure & sensations
  10. Difference between how marijuana affects men vs women

Is it OK to Masturbate? – Sadhguru Answers

Video Source: Sadhguru 

Sadhguru answers a question from students about masturbation, whether it is good or bad, and if wasting semen can damage one spiritually.

Yogi, mystic, and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serve as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times.

Guilt-Free Joy and How to Get Some

Something dawned on me the other day when I was thinking about how fast the year had gone by. As I was reassessing my goals for my coaching business, my website, etc. super excited to roll out some new ideas…I could hear the usual voice in my head in the background, while a quiet, yet demanding whisper at the moment, steadily increasing to an in-your-face roar of how little I’ve once again accomplished as another year flies by, just waiting to pounce on the tidbit of joy I’d mustered out of some goals I haven’t “fully” yet accomplished…

And then I think…”According to WHO???”. Who am I competing against except who I used to be anyway? Sure, we may compete against one another for sport, for jobs, for the mere satisfaction of the ego…whatever the reason might be, in the end, the only competition that ever really counts is the one we kept up not against, but WITH ourselves. So why be a jerk to yourself about it? Why not instead be the best damn coach you never had? Why not let it be OK where I am right now for once?

When we choose to be brave enough about how we treat ourselves, it allows us a wider perspective on where we are in our lives in relation to any goals we’ve set forth for ourselves, which could ultimately help us get there a lot faster and more effectively.

It also shows us where, if we’ve reached this awareness, a new perspective to come from that perhaps is a little kinder to the spirit and a lot nicer to work with. And it doesn’t come from a place of empty egoic need to fill a space inside with something outside. No, it comes from the heart and a need to grow and expand; to create and express.

As when we relax into life, this is what we naturally do. And it’s funny how when we start to actually enjoy our lives, some of us think we’re either doing something wrong and this whole shithouse is about to go up in flames any second, or that (basically from the same line of fear energy), that it simply will not last and therefore we MUST self-sabotage it and push it away immediately, because at least then we know we had control.

I think if we were taught a bit differently when it comes to our dreams, our inspirations, our talents and gifts, etc. when we are children and not sold the idea we need to diminish those things that make us happy but not enough money as a career, or that we must sell our very sense of spirit to become someone else’s idea of success. And even if we achieve THAT, we soon find that it’s not fulfilling…there is always more to reach for, more to want.

And that’s just it…as much as we can say that the only constant is change itself, we all continue to fight change constantly! We know the calm release of relaxation and how it feels to let go after a long day. That is because we’ve allowed ourselves to stop pushing against life, to stop trying to fight the current and to float instead.

Once we can master the art of floating with a conscious release, we can keep the awareness of our choices, and also our responsibilities and consequences of those choices. We aren’t just saying, “fuck it all, screw it, I just don’t care anymore!” and give up, we are NOT giving up. What we are doing, however, is letting go.

And it is in this simple (yet never easy) act of letting go, that we allow joy to flow directly to us from the Universe, from Source, from God, from whatever funnel of abundance you resonate most with. We are not restricting the flow by holding so tightly (literally) to needing control over everything in your life.

When you realize that life is not happening to you, but rather responding to you, you stop fighting so hard because there is no fight, just the illusion of battle, a reflection of the constant inner war of “change” or “remain”. Which brings up back to the constant of change…it is not punishing nor rewarding us by bringing us joy then always coming to rip it away, but simply breathing in accordance with all of existence. Ever-cycling, pattern-spiraling to bring back around to us, again and again, the lessons we are yet to learn. And the joy that we are meant to build upon like a foundation of gold within our hearts; the trick is that once we have it, no one can truly ever take it from us; they can only make us believe it is gone…

One cannot hold this truth in their heart without also protecting the peace that comes with it. Because deep within hides the knowing that when we hold too tightly, everything is lost and nothing is gained…but when we connect deeply enough to this truth, everything is gained and nothing is lost.


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.