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Acknowledging Ourselves as Our Own Sacred Source

I’d like to start out by saying that I absolutely love people and I adore relationships of all kinds…romantic, friendship, family, work, etc. But that doesn’t mean that it’s always easy relating to other people, am I right? I’ve come to learn, though that even the feisty, difficult, “Oh my freaking God I wanna rip my hair out” kind of relationships hold something dear to be cherished. The lessons we learn from our most trying times provided by our relationships, are what stretch and bend us, set our healthy limits and personal boundaries and no, that’s not a bad thing at all.

When we are being authentic in our personal boundaries, we treat ourselves in such a way that sets the standard for the rest of the world as well. So, there’s simply no room for “Joe Schmoe” to come prancing into your life treating you like a pail of garbage, because you simply don’t allow it into your field of existence. It’s saying something is better or worse than, it’s merely a recognition of a certain desired frequency, and they simply do not match up.

And this leads us to expectations which I’ve written about before and gotten a lot of great feedback for, so I’d like to give it another go, but with a twist. This time, let’s focus more on what we expect from OURSELVES rather than those around us.

In a previous article, What To Expect From You Everyday Expectations, I went into all of the various ways that we put our energy out across the realms of existence that we might not even be aware of. First off, you need to know that there are multiple realms and while interconnected they all “move” and “act” on their own accord; with their own style and uniqueness.

The different realms are physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and etheric and I highly suggest reading that article before continuing on, but even without knowledge of the realms, I bet you’ll find a useful tip or two in the words beyond…

Most often our relationship is bouts of giving and take and usually roles are clearly defined. But if those roles are ever challenged by one party or if something tremendous shifts, etc. then relationships as a whole can be entirely redefined or sadly even end at a whim’s notice. But alas, every relationship serves its purpose, and even those we expect to last until our dying days often fizzle and fade, and in the end, it’s really up to each individual to determine the final destination of where that relationship status lands in their heart once the usual connection is broken.

If two conscious individuals unite in a relationship, chances are much better than if and when the union ends, the departure will not be quite as dramatic as the typical relationship, because with awareness comes an understanding always of a purpose higher than ourselves and our emotional responses to any given moment in time. It also comes with the understanding of desires, motivations, the Ego, the self with a little s .vs a big S, etc., and if you’re lucky a knowing that each person is THEIR OWN SOURCE! Therefore just as the union came together in love, so can each person allow such a respectful and honest, unattached letting goes if and when the time comes to do so.

Sadly, so many relationships begin in a dazed and confused stupor of puppy love infatuation of what we want people to be. We refuse to foresee the flaws we know will eventually show themselves and temporarily convince ourselves these people are unwavering perfection, and we delight in the fact they think the same of us! Oh, what a high! 🙂 But when we instead really see people from the get-go for what they are and not what we want them to be nor what we can tell they’re trying to be, we will understand better that everyone is a mere traveler here, that everyone is still learning and growing and that while technically we all are perfect because we are of Divine Creation, we are here to experience the illusion of imperfection, so that we can expand in third-dimensional reality and live as conscious creators ourselves. So, it’s wise when falling in love to simply not fall with blinders on.

For most of us, though in the dust-storm high of new love, we start to dump our expectations on this new person to fulfill desires and wants in our lives, and if they do we stay the path, but if and when they don’t, especially if they were at first, then we twist our version of who we thought we knew and loved and withdraw, don’t we? And the games begin…

How about we try something new? How about we stop using one another as our source of happiness and realize it’s always been US?

If we teach our children to go within for strength, courage, and ultimately to love themselves enough to trust their instincts, to set healthy boundaries, etc. then perhaps we can raise the next generation to not look to MTV to see what is acceptable to wear or how they should talk. How about we instead raise independent, beautiful, kind-hearted kids that not only love themselves but love each other and bring this into adulthood? Then we will be granted a new generation that knows to go within to find their confidence; to BE their own Source. Remember, they don’t call it SELF-worth for nothing!

That sounds like a great plan right there, humanity…let’s get on it! 🙂 So. Much. Love. <3

 

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




Why do Some People Only Ask for Help After Pushing Everyone Away?

Ask for Help to Reduce Stress &gt; WithoutStress.comIf you’re anything like me, you may have a hard time asking for help when it comes to personal stuff. If I can’t reach something off a shelf, sure I’m good with requesting some assistance, but when it gets a bit deeper than that, I tend to wanna handle everything on my own; retreat inward and soak it in a little “me-time” solitude. My mental cave is always warm and welcoming with popcorn made and a Netflix marathon ready to go. But sometimes, when the popcorn’s run out and your ass is asleep from too much couch-potato-ing, you reach a point where your ego allows you to understand that your ONLY way out to reach a solution is another’s perspective.

My inner world has always been a rich, vivid place. And anytime it seems when an outer connection is initiated and I “accept” so to speak, then I immediately get connected to a source of ever-flowing, loving information that seemingly helps people most of the time. Whether it be that stranger in line at the supermarket who tells me her life story or the friend who always comes to me for advice, I have always been acutely aware of a pull or draw I have that even as a young child made me feel like I was officially stamped “HELPER” or “HEALER” on my forehead upon birth. I never thought to ever really put a name to it other than my intuition, but what has always boggled my brain is that when I myself come to me with a dilemma or need support, I don’t seem to get the same VIP access to that awesome info waterfall. I tend to more often self-sabotage, procrastinate, etc. and this as I now understand is all part of the plan…

I’m grateful for tapping into my life theme at such a young age, but it has taken me my entire lifetime to even begin to understand how to use my empathic abilities in coherence with it. I’ve always felt completely dualistic and presumably, that’s fitting since we live in such a dualistic world. However, it seems a major part of my theme is to always be acutely aware of the extremes, so that I can hang out in the neutral zone, as that is where the best mediators reside, no?

Sounds simple enough, but living in a society that tells you happiness is something you strive for through obtaining material gains, not something you create from within yourself has driven the overall vibe of humanity to lean just a tad to the negative and I think we’ve all taken notice. But if we zoom out our perspectives a bit wider, we begin to see how that extreme is simply the same as its opposite, just to a different degree. In other words, everything is connected. How to Ask for Help | Psychology Today

And I think that is the ultimate lesson we are here to learn. We are born with eyes that literally we can never look into at our own souls, and so we must rely on others, our loved ones, friends, enemies, neighbors, strangers, children, parents, etc. to mirror and reflect back to us our greatest and not so great traits for us to celebrate and share and learn and grow from (we hope LOL).

All of these factors can lead a person to feel, well a little alone in this big world. One thing they don’t teach us in school is how to love ourselves and if I’ve learned anything assisting other people with their own lives it is that while you, of course, can love and be loved without fully embracing yourself, however when you do love yourself in wholeness, it opens up a world of neutral acceptance, of presence, peace and personal allowance for people to be who they are.

And I don’t know about you, but when I feel I can be who I am and am not being judged I am so much more likely to open up to people. And I think this is perhaps another big reason that we push people away, but what we would be wise to remember is that when we are helping others, we are actually helping ourselves too. For every spirit we lift, we ultimately lift our own.

 

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




10 Signs There’s Nagging in Your Relationship

Source: Unsplash

Nagging definitely isn’t the best form of interpersonal communication. Put simply, it’s when one person repeatedly pesters or harasses someone into doing something. (Annoying, right?) Nagging usually occurs when someone doesn’t believe in another person’s ability to do something properly. This can happen in any form of relationship, whether it’s a parent-child relationship or a romantic one.

When there’s constant nagging in a romantic relationship, it often results in the nagged partner digging their heels in and refusing to do things out of spite. Nagging patterns in a relationship create a power imbalance and can lead partners to lose respect and trust for one another.

Long story short? Nagging is super detrimental to your relationship.

Here are ten signs there’s nagging in your relationship and how to end it once and for all:

1. You always give instructions

One of the most telltale signs you’re nagging your partner is you’re constantly telling them what to do. If they ask for instruction, that’s one thing — but incessant “advice” is another. Remember, your partner is a competent individual and can figure things out on their own! Rather than doubting their ability, focus on approaching the problem as a team.

2. You try to control everything around you

If you have controlling tendencies, you may be nagging your partner without even realizing it. People who try to control everything around them often put a huge burden on their partner to act in a certain way or do things in a specific manner. Rather than trying to control everything around you, including your partner’s actions, try focusing on your own actions. (And take care of things yourself if you want them done in a certain way.)

3. You ask for something more than twice

There is a huge difference between reminding your partner about a favor you asked of them and nagging. Asking for a favor is a request (not an obligation) and it’s something that your partner can choose to do or not do. If you find yourself repeatedly asking your partner to do things for you, it’s definitely considered nagging.

If your partner isn’t responding to a request the first time you ask, consider why they aren’t doing it. Do they not want to? Do they not understand what you are asking for? Talking about your request and listening to your partner’s point of view will help ensure that you are communicating clearly.

4. Every statement begins with ‘you’

Using ‘you’ statements associates blame and can make your partner feel as if they are falling short or letting you down (i.e., “Why didn’t you do this?”). These types of statements can also cause your partner to feel defensive and refuse to help you out of spite. This can lead to a nagging pattern in your relationship, which leads both partners to feel let down.

Instead of using ‘you’ statements, communicate with your partner using ‘I’ statements (“I felt disappointed because…”) This type of reframing takes blame out of the equation and will help you communicate more effectively.

5. You focus all of your energy on their behavior

A surefire sign of nagging is you’re focusing all of your energy on your partner’s behavior rather than your own. Instead, you should be focusing on your actions and how you can change your behavior.

If you are disappointed because your partner isn’t doing something you asked them to do, and it is something that needs to be done, you can always do it yourself. You and your partner have different priorities, so rather than feeling let down when something you find important is neglected, make it happen on your own.

6. You’ve been told by your partner you nag

This is a pretty obvious sign, right? If your partner tells you that you’re nagging them, consider how you can communicate more effectively about what you want and need from the relationship, ultimately keeping you on the same page.

7. You feel more like a parent than a partner

Partners see each other as equals in a relationship and talk to each other about decisions rather than instructing each other what to do. In contrast, a parent-child involves the adult instructing the child without regard for their point of view. If you’re in the latter of the two relationships, you’re most certainly nagging. It’s important to change the power dynamic in your relationship so that you and your partner have equal say when it comes to making decisions.

8. You’re starting to feel resentment

If you are the partner that is being nagged in the relationship, you may start to feel resentment towards your significant other. It’s only natural to feel this way when your partner is constantly telling you what to do! This resentment can lead you to ignore your partner, be contrary towards them, or purposefully avoid what they are telling you to do. At this point, it’s necessary to have an open, honest discussion with your partner about how you feel and see if there’s anyway to work through it.

9. Your partner has started to act out

On the flip side of the coin, if you are in a nagging relationship pattern, you may notice your partner acting out in immature or child-like ways. This is due to resentment that they are starting to feel towards you and the relationship. In order to heal the relationship, you should have them communicate how they are feeling and what you can both do to restore your connection.

10. You have little to no intimacy

If you are in a nagging relationship cycle rather than an equal partnership, the intimacy will probably diminish. Simply put, no one wants to be intimate with someone who is constantly nagging or telling them what to do.

Intimacy — whether it’s emotional, physical, or sexual – is based on good communication and respect for one another. Nagging patterns put a damper on both, which is a total bummer for your intimacy level. Learning to let go, stop nagging, and restore effective communication and respect can help get you back on track.

WATCH:

Relish

Ending a nagging pattern in a relationship can be difficult, especially if it’s been an issue for a while. In addition to trying the above tips, it can be helpful to turn to experts. Relish is a relationship coaching app that can help you and your partner assess your relationship and establish future goals. The coaches at Relish can provide you and your partner with custom advice to help you work towards your relationship goals in achievable and incremental ways. Relish is an excellent resource for couples looking to improve communication and stop the nagging pattern in their relationship.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of nagging, remember to focus on open communication, honesty, and mutual respect. While nagging isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker for most, it can definitely hurt your relationship. By making an effort to avoid nagging behavior, you can get back on track towards a healthier, happier relationship.




The Beauty of Non-Attachment

Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase by Buddha, “You only lose what you cling to”, but what does this really mean? Unfortunately, non-attachment or detachment is greatly misunderstood in the mainstream and is often thought to mean that one completely shuts down emotionally and refuses to care about anything outside of themselves anymore, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Image result for non-attachment quotesWhen we think of a river flowing, non-attachment is kind of like that when it comes to our emotions. Rather than letting one particular emotion dam up the waters of our soul, we simply let it run its course without becoming enthralled or entangled in its web. With negative emotions, we tend to let them take the wheel and direct our thoughts, actions, and reactions. And while we can see how asinine this is when others do it, while we ourselves are in the throes of anger, we feel completely justified because we’ve allowed the emotion to take control, overpower us and run wild. We are no longer connected to our hearts and therefore are disconnected from the targets (other people) now receiving our wrath.

With positive emotions, we tend to cling and hold onto them out of fear they will go away. We want them to stay and last forever, rather than being at peace with the fact that nothing ever does. This takes away from our ability to truly appreciate things at the moment, because we’re always away from it in the future, planning on how to keep it from getting away from us.

The true beauty of non-attachment is that it allows us to feel emotions, but from a completely different perspective than ever before. Instead of avoiding all the “negative” ones or letting them overtake us, we are diligent in keeping control and choosing our next action; we do not let the emotion decide for us. We realize we are not victims to the emotion, we are not its minion and the emotion isn’t there to rule over us anyway…but it inevitably will if we let it.

Emotions are way-showers if we know how to look at them. They show you where your triggers are, where your un-healed pain remains, and where your passions and desires lie within your heart. Unattached, emotions can help guide you into a purpose-driven life, or if we cling too hard, they can keep you stuck in an abusive relationship or career you hate. We must first be willing to look at them for what they are, then we can start to change the way we interact with our own emotions.

I’ve heard people say, “I can’t change who I am.” or “I can’t change the way I feel.” Both of these statements are the result of a child being conditioned to believe they are powerless over their own lives. Children who’ve grown into adults are now either fearful, resentful, or hateful towards a world that they’ve forever had to bend and break for time and time again, but that will not even throw them a bone. And with this perspective…it never, ever will.

That always hits home with me because I was/am one of those people. I struggle to this day with self-love, confidence, and empowerment. But what I’ve come to learn is that our emotions and feelings are not our enemies and when we can learn to use them as the tools they are, we begin to slowly regain our power, and once you get even the slightest taste of your own true authentic personal power that’s been lying dormant in your heart for so long, you almost demand of yourself to come flying out of victim-hood.

To wrap things up, non-attachment isn’t dimming your fire or passion. It isn’t denying how you feel. It is merely taking the steps necessary to discipline yourself to not stay IN one emotion because we’re not meant to. Our natural state is neutral (no coincidence they are such similar words) and to remain balanced, and practicing non-attachment allows us to live a more balanced life. Image result for non-attachment quotes

Of course, we will still have times we cry, we’ll still get angry, we’ll of course still laugh and smile, we are human and that’s what this crazy ride is all about…FEELING. That means riding the wave…allowing the emotions to rise, and then fall and dissolve away. Let us remember that love is not an emotion, but a state of being. If you feel the need to feed emotional drama, negativity, etc. then I would definitely suggest taking a look at how you handle emotions in your life. There’s nothing to feel bad, ashamed, guilty, or mad about it, this is all a process of growth and expansion into a greater understanding of ourselves.

 

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




What Is Helping Couples Get Through the Pandemic?

Amid stay-at-home orders and social distancing measures, the COVID-19 pandemic has separated us from friends and far-flung family. But how has it affected relationships at home?

Research is only beginning to tell the story of how couples fared during the pandemic, and that’s a story still in progress now—16 months in, as case counts continue to rise worldwide.

For example, divorces rose in parts of China in March 2020. But that’s just one side of the story: In fact, marriage applications also increased in Wuhan last spring, and 53% of Chinese people surveyed in 2020 said their romantic relationships improved since the pandemic. Meanwhile, findings are mixed on whether married people are happier or worse off than singles during COVID.

Spending all day, every day, with your partner or being their only support system can be a recipe for getting on each other’s nerves—or it could make you even closer. We don’t yet know which scenario has been most common.

“Crises either bring people together or drive them apart,” write Yachao Li and Jennifer A. Samp in a 2021 paper. “The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on relationships is still unclear.”

What’s more, the best ways for couples to cope and stay connected in these conditions are still unclear. How can we hope to support a partner over so many months, when we’re facing the same existential stress ourselves? How can we cultivate joy and intimacy when we seem to have both too much and too little time together?

Studies from earlier in the pandemic in the U.S., Europe, China, and beyond offer some clues about what’s been going on behind closed doors across the world—and what we can do to hold onto love and connection amid a crisis.

Couple life during COVID

When the pandemic hit, everyone’s life was upended—including the rhythms of our closest relationships. Couples had to deal with the sudden need for child care and their jobs going online, disappearing, or becoming way more dangerous, all while navigating different levels of risk. They needed to support each other through stress and fear.

During the first three weeks of lockdown in Spain, researchers surveyed over 400 adults about how their relationships had changed during that time. A team led by Cristina Günther-Bel pored over more than 13,000 words that participants wrote, searching for themes. They found that 62% of participants identified some kind of improvement in their relationship since lockdown.

Most commonly, people talked about reconnecting with their partners by spending more time together, slowing down, and appreciating each other. They mentioned being able to communicate more, express their needs and feelings, and work through conflicts that they used to sweep under the rug. With everyone in the COVID-19 boat, the pandemic also created a spirit of teamwork to work out schedules, balance everyone’s needs, and support each other through difficulty.

According to their analysis, couples struggled more in their relationships when they had kids to look after, although things improved for parents as the lockdown went on. And younger couples seemed to be getting along better than older couples. A different study of Germans ages 14–95 came to a similar conclusion: As younger people’s relationships improved between February and April 2020, the relationships of older people tended to get worse.

Of course, the pandemic wasn’t all good for romance. In addition to togetherness and appreciation, Spanish couples also wrote about feeling lonely and distant from each other, and being more tense and argumentative. Young couples in the U.S. said they experienced more fear, anger, and sadness during their interactions, compared to pre-pandemic. When conflict arose, it tended to spill over into couples’ physical connection and affection, so they were less likely to hug, kiss, and have sex.

Relationships were even more strained for people who had partners with an insecure attachment style, who have trouble forming secure, stable bonds. People with distant, avoidant partners felt less supported, less able to solve problems, and lacking in a sense of togetherness. People with clingy, anxiously attached partners also felt less support and togetherness at home, as well as more chaos and problems (like poor communication and a lack of affection). Depending on their attachment style, partners may be in need of more personal space in the confines of lockdown, or seeking support and reassurance but not getting it, says University of Auckland professor Nickola Overall.

In short, the pandemic was worse for relationships that were already struggling. That includes relationships strained by larger societal inequalities: For example, people in same-sex relationships became less satisfied with their relationships during the pandemic, particularly people of color and those who were uneasy about their sexual orientation.

“The [positive aspects of the pandemic] are disproportionately available to people that had resources and strengths going into the pandemic and are not facing major health-related and employment-related stressors arising from the pandemic,” says Overall.

Meanwhile, inequalities affecting women—who were were hit harder by pandemic unemployment and have taken on much of the increased child care and housework—seemed to affect their relationships, too. According to a study in New Zealand that Overall coauthored, women who felt the pandemic division of labor in their household was unfair had more problems in their relationships and were less satisfied with them, too.

How to be resilient, together

If the tension has increased between you and your partner, you might be tempted to ignore it. After all, things are hard enough right now, and the last thing you need is to start up another yelling match. According to one study in April 2020, avoiding confrontation is exactly what people did when they felt COVID was interfering more in their daily life. The bad news is that these people were also less satisfied together, as issues festered below the surface.

Dealing with conflict is crucial, argue Li and Samp. And a 2021 paper suggests an activity that might help: reappraisal. In this study, over 700 people living in the U.S. with their partners tried different writing activities, including one where they wrote about conflicts with their partner from the perspective of a neutral third party, trying to get outside their own head and see the situation with more perspective.

In the next two weeks, people who practiced this technique experienced fewer disagreements, less yelling, and fewer threats and insults in their relationship than those who simply wrote about their feelings about the conflict, or did other writing activities. All of this translated into being more satisfied as a couple.

There’s another easy technique you can try: Blame the pandemic.

One U.S. study surveyed people living with their partners in spring 2020 and again toward the end of the year. When women were stressed, those who blamed the pandemic (instead of themselves or their partners) were more satisfied with their relationships and engaged in fewer relationship-harming behaviors, like criticizing, insulting, and being impatient or withdrawn. This effect didn’t hold for men, though, maybe because women are experiencing the worst of pandemic stress, speculated the University of Texas at Austin’s Lisa A. Neff and her coauthors.

Besides finding ways to cope with the extra stress and conflict, couples can also make a deliberate effort to connect and communicate.

In 2020, researchers designed a two-hour “Awareness, Courage, and Love” activity. U.S. couples who did it felt closer afterward and at least a week later, compared to couples who just watched a movie together. The activity included eye contact, a guided meditation, journaling about the relationship and sharing what they wrote, offering words of appreciation, and a weekly conversation activity with questions like these:

  • What has been hard for you this week that you’d like me to understand?
  • When did you feel closest/most distant to me this past week?
  • Is there anything you’re avoiding saying or communicating to me?
  • What have you appreciated about me this past week?
  • How can you take better care of yourself?
  • How can I be a better partner to you?
  • Is there anything else you want to tell me?

It should go without saying, but another way to shore up your relationship is to go out of your way to support your partner. During COVID, researchers have found that people who feel more supported by their partners are more grateful and less stressed, feel more committed and confident about achieving their goals, and make more progress toward them.

How to be a good pandemic partner

What does a supportive partner look like, in this context?

For a 2020 study, relationship therapist Laura Vowels and her team interviewed 48 people and asked them, “How have you supported each other during the pandemic in achieving tasks and goals? How has the way in which you support each other changed as a result of the pandemic?”

According to their answers, supportive partners made themselves available and had a spirit of flexibility and teamwork. When the pandemic hit, they found ways to share office space and divide up chores, so everyone could do what they needed to do. They encouraged their partners to get outside support from others, like family and friends. They provided inspiration, reassurance, comfort, and validation (and they tried to not get in their partner’s way).

“Reframing support as ‘we are in it together and we are working together to solve these shared problems’ ensures that people don’t feel burdened by the other person’s needs but also that when you’re receiving support, you don’t feel like you aren’t capable,” says Overall.

Some other strategies that couples tried during the pandemic included:

  • Making time for each other: Planning date nights, and working on communication.
  • Setting boundaries: Carving out alone time, and making sure each person has privacy and space.
  • Practicing mindfulness: Being kind and patient in their interactions with each other, and checking in on the other person’s mental health.

Going forward into post-pandemic life, or at least coming out of lockdown, Vowels expects to see another round of transition and negotiation among couples. Partners will have to again balance different levels of risk and figure out how their priorities may have shifted during the pandemic.

“If couples can actually openly talk about it, that’s much better than just assuming that we’re returning to normal, because that may not be what the other person’s thinking,” says Vowels, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Lausanne and principal researcher for Blueheart.io.

Facing a crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic, our relationships are bound to shift and change. That’s normal and to be expected, researchers say. We may find ourselves feeling adoring and grateful one day, and unable to stand the sound of their voice the next. While some people are deciding to break up and others are getting engaged, for many couples the reality may be somewhere in between: some renewed closeness, some new stress and tension. Even if yours isn’t a story of cosy quarantine romance, you can still celebrate muddling through it together.

About the Author

Kira M. Newman

Kira M. Newman is the managing editor of Greater Good. Her work has been published in outlets including the Washington Post, Mindful magazine, Social Media Monthly, and Tech.co, and she is the co-editor of The Gratitude Project. Follow her on Twitter!




Ancient Sect Left Us THIS MISSING PIECE | Gregg Braden

Source: Inspired

Gregg Braden talks about the seven Essene mirrors of relationships, and specifically the 3rd mirror, which is the mirror of what we have lost, given away or had taken from us by those who have power over us. Below the transcript is another video in which Gregg discusses all seven of the Essene mirrors.

TRANSCRIPT (Gregg Braden speaking):
My personal history was the driver to understand these things. I can say now, I do come from a very dysfunctional, abusive alcoholic family. I’m a survivor of childhood trauma. And I had to learn very early on what that meant to me, because I made a choice, early on, not to be defined by my past.

And I have other a younger brother who made a different choice and is suffering in the world today because everything that happens to him he says is because of what happened to him when he was younger. And he’s absolutely correct. It can be and it doesn’t have to be.

My feeling is, and where I look at this maybe a little differently, I believe there’s a continuity in human consciousness and human history. And I believe those who have come before us left us information in their time. If we have the wisdom to recognize and the courage to embrace and the strength to live what they left for us that we can benefit from those who have come before us – whether it was a generation or whether it was 5,000 years ago.

So I’ve been the student of history all of my life. And I recognized early on that there were certain groups of people – there was a mysterious sect, for example, called the Essenes 500 years before the time of Jesus. They did not call themselves Essenes. The Egyptians actually called them Therapeutae, which means healers. Not only did they understand physical healing, the understood, emotional and psychological healing.

And the Essenes identified, a series of mirrors, seven mirrors that every human will experience in their lifetime if they live among other people: seven mirrors of relationship. The first ones are obvious, and they become more and more and more subtle. And you have to recognize the obvious ones before you get into the more subtle ones.

And what you’re referring to is third mirror – the third Essene mirror of relationship. It is the mirror of what we have lost, given away, or had taken from us by those who have power over us. So the way that particular mirror works is we’ve all had these experiences, if we’re honest with ourselves. We can be at a place in our lives where we’re perfectly content with a partner or a relationship, or no partner or no relationship.

And someone… you can walk down the aisle at the grocery store, or you can interact with someone in the office place. And all of a sudden there’s that little… something lights up inside and you find yourself drawn to this person, magnetically drawn. And your mind will say, well I shouldn’t be or this isn’t right, and that doesn’t change the chemistry that’s there. We all will know that experience.

The question is, why is it happening? If we don’t know why it’s happening, then we can be led through this mysterious experience to lose everything that we love and cherish – perfectly good relationships and families and kids and all of that – in search of what it is this magnet means to us because it’s such a powerful compulsion. The Essene mirror # 3 tells us what this is.

Each of us to survive, wherever we are in our lives today, we all have given away parts of ourselves. Sometimes we do it consciously. Coming from an alcoholic family, as a peacemaker, I would consciously relinquish my choices, my ideas, just to keep peace in the family.

FOR MUCH MORE ON THIS TOPIC, WATCH THIS VIDEO WITH GREGG BRADEN:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiBsczafvaA




The Key to Unlocking Change: Be What You Want to See

Image result for be the changeI felt compelled to write about ‘being the change’ this week after all of the negative news going on in the world lately. I won’t get into it, as I’m sure most of you are aware of what’s been going on but I just wanted to take the time to remind everyone that it all starts with each and every one of us. We all matter and we all mean something. Somewhere along the line, it became acceptable; almost required to teach us that we are insignificant and we began to lost our luster, our soul shine…and that is the greatest lie ever taught. We are all significant, we are divine, we are love. Don’t ever forget that because once you remember, the world will reflect a place that won’t need changing. 

In any situation, if there are opposing forces, which we all know is not uncommon in our 3-D world, then there are also likely to be some expectations of giving and take, of push and pull, and of certain roles you play. There are masks you get to choose from, but from the moment you are born, you must wear one. Your parents usually choose them for you until you are around the age of 18, and usually, the ones they’ve chosen tend to have an influence on the ones we later choose in life, and sadly most of us never learn to question why we’re wearing one at all or even attempt to remove it.

In this world of duality, in this modern society, there are certain ways to think, act and feel. And those of us born with different ways of perceiving, sensing, and feeling the world tend to not fit into the molds and therefore are more easily capable of seeing where the chaos is occurring in the collective and how it can be most effectively addressed.

I say this most astutely, because of time after time, experiment after experiment, measurement after measurement, it always comes back to heart resonance. If you do ANYTHING from the heart, it will have a positive, beneficial effect on the matter, being, or species at hand. I’m not talking about mere good intentions or what we might think is good for another person, but actually feeling into our hearts and connecting to that knowing space that allows us to resonate with the truth of existence.

Some would say this goes beyond the boundaries that you simply do not cross. Some would say that our society is best to not cross them. Or not…

There is a wave of us (yes I do include myself in this group although I try to avoid labels), that was never ingrained with such filters and like Van Gogh’s bleeding ear, I find it as weird and fascinating as much as I can appreciate the act itself as beautiful, alchemical art. And some might think that is just fucking unheard of. I guess you could say I strive to embody what I would imagine it means to truly be a ‘spiritual gangster’. LOL We have all seen Deepak Chopra sporting those chakra-tactical Ts, right?

So what the that mean exactly? It means to not only fall into the trap of every thought must be positive, every move must be toward the light, every day must be full of sunshine and smiles, but to also have the awareness that it’s all about the balance and that includes the Darkside, my fellow Jedis! We are gonna have to face those shadows and feel uncomfortable at times to truly “walk the path”. The New Age Movement has become a dangerous arena. It can be a great resource to learn ancient meditation, yoga, pranic breathing techniques and offer insights into spiritual development that can help lead you to the cave of your inner world, but anyone telling you that you need them to take you inside and show you the way is lying to you.

It is you who must be your own guide, your own light because it is you who is also the darkness you will overcome. And you will do this by facing all that is within you that is reflecting back from others. All that we immediately want to judge, blame, hate or be jealous of. It is all within us waiting for us to just take a damn look. And not a look of condemnation or judgment, but of simple acknowledgment and acceptance; like that poor kid always left by himself on the playground who never gets picked for kickball. Just let him know he matters, that his existence actually means something. This can make someone’s entire world. You really never know the difference you make, until you care enough to actually make it.

 

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




How to Thrive: A Resurrection of Reasons For Living

Image result for thrive

Many if not most of us were taught from a very young age that life is very hard and unfair, a constant struggle and that as humans we really can’t trust one another or even ourselves for that matter. Furthermore, if this isn’t our experience, then we must be doing something wrong and we don’t deserve to be happy. And while we can hopefully entertain that this isn’t exactly the healthiest outlook to pass on, I don’t feel that we intend to necessarily cause harm by demonstrating this to our children. In fact, I feel most parents would say they’re trying to protect and prepare their kids.

But then again, where does this need to want to “prepare” them to struggle come from? Well, from OUR parents, right? And from theirs? And theirs? Well, where did this consciousness of lack and imperfection and fear truly begin? When did we begin to view life as something we need to survive rather than thrive in?

I remember as a child the moment I realized that adults were actually not these “all-knowing” beings that many of them appeared or claimed to be and even as a child I knew that I was onto a higher level of knowing beyond many of the adults around me, simply for the fact I had an inner understanding deep down that life actually wasn’t meant to be hard, that it was fair, and that it wasn’t meant to be such a struggle if you just learned how to trust and work with it (and yourself).

I somehow just knew that we, all of us, were meant for greater things than the daily small talk and stresses and that for those of us who had the courage to go for it; to go against what we were told how life should be, were the ones who were actually HAPPY.

Why? Because they were taking control over their own happiness; they made it an inside job. I didn’t know how to consciously structure this awareness at the time, but looking around at all these adults telling me what it takes to live a happy life (by acquiring more and more stuff and comparing yourself to others) and yet seeing for the most part how miserable they all were; well, I knew something was up. And unlike most people under the age of 10, I spent much of my time pondering things like this and trying to uncover this and other mysteries of the workings of life and the universe and what it means to be a (happy) human.

Needless to say…this made me a pretty strange kid.

Well, that and the fact I could see auras and energies! 😉 But seriously, I’m not saying that I was immune to establishing negative core beliefs about myself. I did form several, just like everyone else around me, and eventually, even my own inner knowing was tested and layered over with false perceptions of the world around me that I started to convince myself were real. Slowly but surely I too fell victim to core beliefs (or what I now call “shadows”) that had me believing I didn’t deserve love, peace, or happiness in my life, and for years I played out this drama to convince myself it was all true…

The biggest ones I personally took on were around self-esteem and having fear around being who I really am. I knew I was “different” and for a long time, I let the harsh words of other kids putting me down for the weird things I’d say crush my self-esteem and make me shrink so small like a turtle going deep into its shell. I learned to believe that my opinions were not important and that I had nothing of value to say.

Soon enough, this would manifest as different habits including mumbling when I spoke and a severe fear of public speaking. As a teen, I developed some serious resentment as I rebelled through poetry full of morbid angst and hatred for a world that could never understand me.

Do you see how dangerous believing the opinions of others are? And this is what we’ve done as children before we had a conscious choice as to whether or not to do so. Now, if anything isn’t fair in life, it would be that. As children we are literal sponges of words and emotions and unable to always coherently process them, we bury them deep with our psyches where they surface later in life in many different ways.

I’m sure some of you can relate. When you feel like no one understands you, you inevitably feel alone and tend to withdraw and I think this happens to so many of us for so many different reasons. Whether we are taught we aren’t good enough or too fat or told we’re stupid. Words and actions are so damaging and the truth is they stick with us well into adulthood. So, literally all of those issues you are still having and are yet to identify; the causes are literally rooted in your most early years of life. And this is how we always work with shadows to heal them…we go back to our childhood when it all started.

When we ask various people about their childhoods, we can get a number of varying responses ranging from quite positive to quite negative and even these ends of the spectrum have their own light and dark corners. With so many variables, saying that one had a “good” or “bad” childhood completely is rather difficult to do. And with good reason. We are multi-faceted beings and we are here to experience not just one end of the physical spectrum of reality, but everything in between. Each corner of space and time offers a great lesson if we are open to it. And perhaps the current paradigm of being in a cycle of “lack” and seeing life as a mere struggle we need to survive is our greatest lesson yet. Image result for thrive quotes

For at this end of the spectrum, we have lost sight of our divinity and greatness. We are seeing a place in our reality where Source or God doesn’t exist and this is merely impossible. We’ve convinced ourselves that there is even a chance that imperfection exists in the Universe as even that which appears imperfect just IS. Perhaps in the vibration of struggle, we learn to surrender. And perhaps in surrendering we find our true strength.

When we teach others, especially children that they must “earn” love, then we are convincing them they are anything less than divine creations, which is false information…we have lied to them. And children being children will know this on a soul level and receiving this conflicting information will cause an energetic disturbance they will not and cannot process, thus manifesting in harmful core beliefs about themselves they will carry into their adult lives. We all do this and have had this done to us. Hopefully not out of intention, but out of ignorance, and now with awareness, we all have the choice to take heed with our words, with children and all people; even ourselves.

To thrive in life, we are taught we must get the degrees and climb the corporate ladder to “success”. But then again, that depends on what your definition of success is, which is nowadays meaning many things to many different people. However, regardless of how you define success, one thing that remains abundantly clear that everyone wants is…well, abundance, and happiness. And we are finally agreeing on what it really takes to get there. It’s not “stuff”, well, not material stuff anyways. It’s the good stuff, going on within you. More specifically, what YOU think and what YOU think of YOU.

While hard work is an inevitable part of reaping the fruits of life’s abundance, life doesn’t have to always BE hard. If you’ve come from a particularly difficult upbringing, or from a very poor family, you might have trouble entertaining any other concept but “life is ALWAYS hard and ALWAYS a struggle” because that has ALWAYS been your experience growing up.

But even if you grew up in a very wealthy family, chances are still good that you may have been ingrained with core beliefs that put a damper on your sense of self-worth; which is really what determines how much or how little we truly allow ourselves to suffer in life. Or in other words, how hard we allow things to be before we finally say, “Enough is enough!” In the age where the American Dream has literally turned into a nightmare, it’s up to each and every one of us to wake up to our own creative power and start thriving in life!

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




Empath Meaning 101: Are You Dating an Empath?

Image source: unsplash.com

You’re probably familiar with the term “empathy,” right? Empathy is the ability to understand and relate to other people’s feelings. (Putting yourself in their shoes.)  Most people have the ability to be empathetic (or show empathy) towards others, especially people that they care about and relate to—and that brings us to empaths.

An empath is a person who has an extreme amount of empathy for others, to the point that they are able to feel the emotions of others as if they were experiencing the emotions themselves. Empaths are highly sensitive and in tune with other people’s emotions.

Here’s a deeper dive into the empath meaning and some signs you might be in a relationship with one:

They Take On the Emotion of Others

The signature characteristic of an empath is someone that is able to take on the emotions of others. Ultimately, this means that when a friend of a loved one is sad or upset, an empath may mirror these emotions and experience them as well because they are so in tune with what the other person is feeling.

Tend to Avoid Large Gatherings

Because empaths take on the emotions of those around them, they tend to get a little overwhelmed at large gatherings. They are sensitive to both positive and negative emotions, and large groups of people can amplify that. Typically, they avoid crowds altogether in order to save themselves all that emotional energy.

Tend to Be Introverted

In most cases, empaths are more introverted and require some time to recharge. While they may seem extroverted because of their ability to connect so deeply with others, they actually need time alone to re-energize themselves after a lot of social interactions. That said, being introverted does not mean anti-social, it just means you need a little time to recharge your batteries when you’re alone, whereas extroverts get their energy from socializing.

Love Nature

A lot of empaths find solace in nature, especially when it’s an escape from overwhelming social situations. If your partner takes long walks in the woods to help them bounce back from a stressful social situation, or if they like spending time in the garden just to relax, then this could be a sign that they are an empath.

Have a Calming Effect on People

Because of their ability to connect with and understand others so deeply, they usually have a calming effect on people. They allow others to let their guards down. They can also help someone feel better just by talking to them because of the way they absorb emotions.

So, if you think you’re dating an empath, here are some tips for making the relationship work:

Give Them Alone Time

Empaths need their alone time to recharge. Make it okay for your partner to disappear into the woods, spend time out in nature, or curl up with a book by themselves. Doing so shows that you support them, and it will not only help their mental health, but will also energize your relationship.

Be Honest

Empaths are able to read people very well, which means that they have a low tolerance for B.S. They can sense when people are being dishonest, which can cause them to become wary of certain people. Honesty should be the baseline of any healthy relationship, but it’s especially important if you’re dating an empath—they’ll know you’re lying the minute you open your mouth!

Be Supportive

Empaths will often become deeply invested in trying to support those around them or fix all of their problems, causing them to overlook their own needs. This can cause them to overlook their own needs while trying to be in service to others. This is emotionally draining! Make sure they are taking care of themselves, ask if they need time or space to recharge, or help by taking things off their plate.

Listen to Them/Intuition

Empaths have an excellent sense of intuition. If your empath partner ever shares something with you, based on their intuition, it’s important to really listen to them. Being truly heard by your partner is super validating, and it will show your partner that you support them and trust their intuition.

Let Them Feel Their Emotions

Whether the emotions are positive or negative, it’s important to allow your empath partner to feel them. They won’t always be pleasant, but they’re valid and deserve to be felt. They’re sensitive to emotions, and telling them to “get over it” can make them feel uneasy in the relationship.

Don’t Force Them to Socialize

Empaths have different needs and aren’t typically fond of too much socializing, so it’s important to respect that. If you are more of a social butterfly, then go out and socialize without them! Doing things apart is a way to meet both of your needs, which is incredibly necessary for a healthy relationship.

Make Them Laugh

Help lighten the mood! Empaths tend to get very into their heads, and as their partner, you can relieve some of the emotional burdens they feel. Tell a joke, act silly, put on a funny movie—whatever gets them smiling.

Be a Good Listener

Empaths are usually the ones listening in conversations, so give them a chance to do the talking! Even if it may feel more natural for them to play the listening role in a conversation, encourage them to speak their mind, and make sure that you actively listen to them.

Communicate

Empath or not, there is no such thing as a mind-reader. It’s important to communicate your emotions openly and honestly so that your partner can support you. They may be intuitive, but you shouldn’t expect them to know what’s going on in your mind at all times.

Let Them Be Themselves

It can be difficult to be the partner of an empath, especially when you see how much of a toll their extreme empathy can take on their own mental health. That said, you should never try and prevent them from showing empathy, which is the core of their personality. Instead, embrace it!

Empaths are wonderful and intuitive partners, so count yourself lucky if you are with one! While there are a lot of redeeming things about dating an empath, it is important to understand their unique sensitivities so that you can be a loving and supportive partner, just as they are to you.




3 Ways to Master the Art of Congruent Living

To live a congruent life simply means to be living in space that you have consciously created for yourself. A space that serves a great purpose and acts as the foundation upon which you manifest excellence into your life. This is a space where you’ve taken delicate care to tend to, always making sure it’s neat and tidy and ever-expanding.

If you are sitting there asking yourself if you even have such a space, don’t worry you are not alone. In fact, most of us don’t consciously take the time to give ourselves one moment of relaxation at the end of a full day. Somewhere along the line, it’s as if a new software was installed in our psyches that told us life always had to be hard; and that if it wasn’t, then we were doing something wrong.

Often times, along with such core beliefs that have taken root deep within us, other beliefs that don’t always serve us start to form and grow as well. We might believe that only when we struggle do we deserve happiness; that it must always come with a price. Or even worse, that we are unworthy of happiness (or love) at all.

And perhaps that is the key to it all…which reminds me of every old 50’s romance tune…love is all you need, right? But is that enough? Well, yes…and no. See, love in and of itself is not out for itself. It just IS. And perhaps that is it’s greatest lesson to soak in from dancing on the edge of it’s madness to falling into it’s most frightening and dark depths of another human soul. But there must be consciousness behind the love for it to have meaning. Meaning, we as our awesome human selves, determine the level at which we can experience love, by the amount we are willing to give love, be vulnerable, and open to taking some indefinite leaps of faith. Love leads us to some intense and scary places sometimes, and yet collectively we continue to innately know that to have love in our lives, is to have peace in our hearts. And that, I believe is the first step to true happiness, or what I like to call, “congruent living”.

From years of studying the connection between the heart and the mind, as well as the principles of Quantum Mechanics, I can comfortably say that anyone, no matter the race, gender, creed, nationality, etc. has the capability to manifest peace within their own hearts. Even in the most dire of suffering, this noble act is not some mystic’s tale. In fact it is often within suffering itself that we are lead to the conscious awareness of the true amount of control we have over the quality of our lives; merely for the fact we have control over the quality of our thoughts…

Overall, there are 3 major pieces to living life congruently:

The first would be that the consciousness must be present that the power to bring peace to one’s heart resides within oneself. This can manifest in many different ways for many different people, but usually accompanies a major event of some kind ranging from a near-death drowning or car accident, or losing someone close to you. Getting a reminder that nothing is trivial and all we truly have is this moment is the quickest and shortest route to gaining this conscious awareness. But it doesn’t have to be that serious all the time. And by that I mean, if you learn to listen to the subtle messages of the Universe, it will gently whisper in your ear instead of taking a proverbial 2×4 to your head when you choose to ignore it. 🙂

Once you can find peace within your own heart, you have just taken the “For Sale” sign off of that space I mentioned earlier on. You’ve allowed yourself to make perhaps one of the greatest investments in your overall health because now you have a “go-to”. Some people get to their space through breathing exercises, or simply taking a moment to close their eyes and imagine their favorite vacation beach. And yet other people will think of loved ones, or anything that ignites a sense of inner joy, gratitude, connection to the Source of life. Basically we are by-passing the logical brain often lead by the ego that convinces of we aren’t worthy of stepping into these higher vibrational states of living.

The second way to master living a life of congruence would be to always be pushing yourself to step more and more into your greatness. Meaning, do more of what makes you feel alive, do what you’re good at and what you enjoy sharing with others. This is true giving of yourself and of your gifts and the more you do it, the greater you expand your space. Think of it like an interior upgrade or like putting an addition onto the house.

The third and final masterful activity would include welcoming not only the “good” stuff, but not avoiding the “bad”. To always see the lesson in the pain is true sight. To be able to view yourself and your life without judgment, but always with conscious movement towards embodying our most true selves, is absolute congruent living.

When you look at your life and see the balance amongst even what some might call “chaos”, is to have expanded your vision into the realm of “anything goes” when it comes to manifestation. Allowing yourself to be open to the opportunity for growth and expansion as your inner roots climb deep down into the dark, is what gives the fruits above the life-source to bloom and blossom. And as my mentor always says, “The deeper the roots, the sweeter the fruits.”

Have a most fruitful, congruent week everyone! <3

Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




The Awesome Art of Open-Heart Observing

Image result for open heartAs it goes, the Universe is set up in such a way that when we need to keep our hearts open the most, it is during the most absolute difficult times to do so. Those times we may be struggling to find our self-worth or confidence because while we know how good appreciation and respect feel, we still rely on getting it from others to make us feel secure in ourselves.

Or it may be times we are triggered from an old wound and therefore have issues connecting with someone that reminds us of someone else who many have caused us pain in the past. Or perhaps they remind us of someone we’ve hurt and therefore we have in fact closed off our own heart to ourselves when it comes to forgiveness.

Whatever the case, we all know how shitty it feels to carry around those heavy emotions such as regret, guilt, anger, resentment, and feelings of lack, not being good enough and for some reason we have set ourselves to believe that while it’s justified to fly off the handle at someone else making us angry or causing us pain, we numb ourselves to the daily discord in our lives caused by our very own hand and how by allowing ourselves to reign over our own feelings, we are also allowing ourselves to be the observational gatekeepers of our own hearts.

In fact, while no one else can ever really make us actually feel anything, we humans have grown accustomed to being the mirrors we are as that is innately how we do relate to one another in our relationships and the world at large. However, beyond the works of Jung and our good old friend the Ego, we not only reflect back our unhealed wounds, our perceptions, our judgments, and our insecurities, but also on the positive front, the things we adore and admire in others.

A perfect example that often goes overlooked is when we envy another person. We often get caught up in the “negative” feelings of not being that person, or resenting them for having something or being a certain way we feel or believe we are not, but in truth of the highest order, it is not possible to even see something admirable in another, to even recognize it, unless it already exists within you! Read that again if you have to, but yes this is true!

You see, when we see another person acting a way that makes us feel jealous, it is simply triggering a part within ourselves that is itching to emerge! A dormant part of our being that would love to come out and play, if only we would give it the attention and time to grow that it deserves to come to the surface and flourish. Being jealous and resentful is simply the ego’s way of avoiding the work! It keeps us from changing and keeps us living small and in the same place in our lives where we are free to continue our same story; complaining about how much everyone else has and how much we lack. It gives us an outer focal point, rather than an insightful observation inward.

But if we just look again…if we just shift our perceptions and get out of our heads and back into our hearts, amazing things begin to happen, because when we look at the world and ourselves with an open heart we are seeing things now as they really are, not as we perceive them to be or wish them to be. And the more we do this consciously, the more we make the choice to stop letting our emotions and preconceived ideas rule us and keep our inner world illusions going, the more we tear down the holographic wall of our minds.

Observing the world, other people and ourselves (where we must first start this journey) with an open heart does not take away our power, but actually fills up our reserves and gives us a never-ending supply! Our heart produces the largest electrical field in the body and it’s because in our most minute levels of existence, in our most basic atomic form, we ARE energy and we are all constantly communicating with one another whether we are aware of it or not.

This is how we pick up on “vibes” or intuition and gut feelings. And when we learn to not ignore these feelings, our heart begins to naturally open as our trust in our very relationship with ourselves begins to build. This is how we develop a healthy self image and how we stop unconsciously reflecting the illusions we think we are to the world and begin consciously projecting the love we now know we are instead.

Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




Persistent Resistance: Why the Things You Avoid Don’t Go Away

It’s all about the vibes, man…

We’ve all had that experience of coming up against something we don’t want to do or someone we don’t want to be around. And sometimes in the midst of it all, we begin to notice that the more we think about it or try to resist or push it away, the more it seems to be around and in our face. So…what’s up with that?

What is happening is actually physics at play. In other words, the energy moving around the situation or person and your beliefs and feelings around the entire thing is what will determine if it does in fact go away or continue to haunt you mercilessly. When we are in a place of wanting to avoid someone, for example, the energy that we are putting out is usually the fear of running into them, having to converse with them, explain something to them, etc. And it is because there is fear present, that you will continue to draw it towards you, rather than away from.

I recently wrote an article about fear and how to use it as a tool for success. It is cliché, yet so very true that the only way fears ever go away is by us facing them head-on. In this action, we are putting a new kind of energy into motion. Instead of the heavy, stifling vibe of acting from fear, when we come from a place of confidence, self-love, and trust, it’s a completely different vibe; one that empowers you to know you can count on yourself and that you control the nature of your reality, simply by shifting the energy around your beliefs.

Oh, that’s attractive…

Like magnets repel or attract depending on their polarity, we also are gifted with this ability if we know how to use it properly. When someone makes us uncomfortable, it is wise to not immediately follow and act upon the feeling, unless of course you feel threatened in any way. If it’s more of an overall annoyance for the person or they’ve done something you are not quite ready to forgive, etc. then the feelings of wanting to avoid the person should be first looked at and dug through, not immediately acted upon as that creates a container for fear-based, heavy draining energy. And in this type of energy, it’s quite hard for things to “escape” and settle on their own because it’s very binding and constricting. You may even physically feel like your body is incredibly tense and your mind uneasy when in this type of container.

Instead of creating a groundhog’s day of perpetual avoidance, try instead to look at the feelings instead of just feeling them. Let them speak to you as an equal, not like they are giving you orders to act upon. When we sit with our feelings, we create a neutral space for reflection and insight and often we begin to unravel clarity where there was confusion as our hearts begin to open.

We may begin to see the situation or person in a new light and finally be able to forgive them for past hurts. And if not, we may at least begin to forgive ourselves for carrying the pain for so long, and perhaps gift ourselves the freedom of surrendering the pain to the ethers and allowing it to become the lesson that lifts us, rather than the wound that keeps us down.

Your greatness is waiting to emerge…

Often times I find when something scares me, it’s actually a sign that is pulling me to become a better version of myself; to expand and grow so I can hold more abundance, love, and light in my life. And I find that when I resist these types of things, the Universe tends to bring me fewer opportunities. It’s as if I was saying, “I don’t believe in myself, so please allow me to keep living small where I feel safe.” And so the Universe responds as such, but only for so long. It will always continue to get you to your true center; to walk the path not created by fate, but the one you were destined to create for yourself.

When we are in a place of resistance that is fear-based, it will stick around because it’s merely asking to be looked at and explored. It will continue to weigh you down, make you feel uncomfortable, etc. until you do. If we continue to place blame on things outside of ourselves, then the Universe will continue to just give you things to complain about. But, what if we instead go inward and commit to being our own best friends? What if we all took the time to really get to know ourselves like we were meeting a new friend or lover, and give ourselves that same undivided attention?

This is moving towards your light…your authenticity and your Truth. In this energy, you will instead feel a pull, not a push and the more you surrender to it, the more you will open your heart to all of life’s experiences that come your way. If not because you’ve learned to trust the Universe responds to energy (not mere wishes), but because you’ve learned to trust yourself.

Have an amazing, irresistible weekend everyone! 🙂

 

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality.

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




How To Come Out of the Pandemic With Stronger Friendships

Social distancing can be really hard and strenuous on our friendships — but it certainly doesn’t have to be. We can still create meaningful memories with our friends while we’re apart; it just takes a little creativity! Here are some simple things you can do to come out of this pandemic with stronger friendships than you could have ever imagined:

1. Check in Often

We’re all living in really strange times right now and it can feel super lonely, so it’s important to check on your friends and loved ones to make sure they’re doing alright. One of the best ways to strengthen a friendship is to be there for each other during difficult times. You could make it a point to call your friends a few times a week to chat about your lives, the happenings of the world, and to catch up on all the gossips and see how other people are handling things.

2. Weekly Happy Hour Calls

Life can feel rather depressing while we’re all on lockdown — so weekly happy hour calls with your girlfriends is just what the doctor ordered to lighten the mood! You could consider planning themes ahead of time and dressing up for a different occasion every week. This is a great way to create fun memories together even though you’re still technically apart. The Internet is full of hilarious ideas for themed parties, like Trash TV Bash or Inner Child. You could also plan a virtual tequila tasting or wine and paint night! The options for fun happy hour calls are endless.

3. Plan a Virtual Spa Day

While this may just be a first, the lockdown has forced us all to get a little creative! You could all purchase a Box Sized Hugs care-package and plan your first-ever virtual spa day. Not only does it give you a chance to relax and socialise, it would be super fun for everyone to test the products in the box together (like the hair mask or self-heating eye mask) and then discuss favourites. Run yourself a bath, grab a drink, and virtually relax with your girlfriends. There’s nothing better than drinking some bubbly while in a bubble bath whilst the society is in apparent collapse! Now, that’s a match made in heaven.

4. Become Pen Pals

Handwritten letters, you remember those, right? Now a thing of the past but what better time to bring it back! Writing to your friends through snail mail could be a really fun way to bond and allows you to keep up with all the latest gossip. You could swap hilarious stories or use the opportunity to let them know how much their friendship means to you — but it would be really cute to make a little scrapbook of the letters you’ve sent to each other when the pandemic is over. You could look back on these times and have something meaningful to show for it.

5. Binge Watch Shows Together

Pass the time by choosing shows to binge watch together. You could each download Teleparty and choose a show from Netflix, Hulu, Disney, or HBO to stream simultaneously. There’s a chat feature that allows you to quietly chat back and forth without having to pause the show every few minutes to discuss. You also have the option to pause the show to discuss whenever you’d like. It’s always fun to binge watch a show that you really love, but it’s even more fun to binge watch a show with your bestie.

6. Bake Them Some Cookies

I mean come on, who doesn’t appreciate homemade cookies! Seriously though, sending some baked treats to your friends and family is a sure fire way to let them know how much they mean to you whilst giving them a morale boost. Food is such a great way to socialise and not being able to sit down and share a meal with your loved ones is bound to take its toll on anyone. Whilst you can’t be there in person to share it with them, sending your carefully crafted treats in the post is the ultimate in creature comforts. Who knows, you may even get some back in return!

7. Team Up In a Virtual World

With everyone itching to get out into the real world again, why not try the next best thing? With a wide range of free to play online games available at your fingertips, it’s never been a better time to team up with your friends online. Studies into gaming have proven to reduce stress and anxiety whilst improving your memory, attention and concentration. Studies have also shown that gaming can improve social skills and problem solving. So, why not team up with your buddies and get gaming, it’s a real hoot and you’ll definitely come out of it with stronger friendships.

8. Order them a takeout

Love food? Love surprises? Then this one if for you! Why not order your bestie their favourite takeaway to save them having to cook. Honestly, is there any greater thing in this life than delicious free food? You could even order them something they haven’t tried before and they could do there same for you. You could FaceTime them and share the meal together virtually to let them know what you think. Not only will it be a real treat, it will also help to support local restaurants whom are particularly struggling through this pandemic due to a massive downturn in business.

So there you have it, 8 ways to strengthen your relationships with your friends during lockdown. We’re sure you’ll come out closer than you were before whilst having fun in the process. Engaging with your friends in this way is a sure fire way to remedy the negative affects of social isolation and will help the time to pass by quicker. You’ll be out of the lockdown and doing activities you love with your friends before you even know it. So get to it!




What is the Paradox of Personal Power?

The Paradox Of Technology And 5 Ways To Avoid It - The latest Voice of  Customer and CX trends | Usabilla BlogAnyone who’s been doing it for a while knows that a key element in manifesting what you want is actually letting go of what you want.

Yep, you read that right. In order to have what you want, you just need to be willing to let it go. It’s a perfect paradox that life has set up and if we dig a little deeper this would be the step where after putting out your intentions, you then surrender any hold on how it needs to show up. Meaning, you can’t hold it in your mind in such a specific way that it closes you off from other opportunities the Universe is trying to bring it to you with. You miss what is often right in front of you because you are only expecting it to show you how you have it planned in your mind.

This is why you need to put it out there what you want, resonate with it…feel as it is yours, as it’s here with you, but don’t even consider a thought about how it got here. That is the Universe’s job and it is damn well good at it.

Now, a key of personal power is not often needed unless control over something else is intended. While the goal for the Spiritual Alchemist is to quiet (and learn from) the Ego Mind, expand from our traumas and trials, and be open to more abundance and joy in our lives. Everything in nature is cyclical, and our very own existence in nature is no different. Our own individual evolution through time and space is just as expansive as the tree rings of a great redwood. And this process of growth doesn’t need to be controlled but rather will flourish if left to its devices.

So, we might be mindful to look at it as we’re not necessarily shooting for fighting against darkness or fighting for light. That is key to remember; it’s about balancing both elements because both are equal in value and service to your soul’s growth in the lessons they offer. It is what you do with your experiences and lessons that determine your character and vibration and ultimately how large your energetic space in the world expands.

What is great about this is we have free will. It is always a choice. We can remain resentful of those that betrayed us before we had the conscious awareness to care for ourselves, whether that be our parents, teachers, even ourselves…, but if we can keep the focus on reclaiming that power back that was taken during that time, we allow ourselves the ability to continue our UP-ward spiral of expansion and we continue to flow with nature. We literally can FEEL when we are in this flow, and we can all admit that it feels pretty fucking amazing.

When we are connected to our soul purpose, our clear inner voice that is always trying to be heard under the clutter of other people’s beliefs, opinions, etc, that are stacked high in our subconscious minds, we have literally embodied “peace”. People who are happy all the time are faking it, I’m sorry. And people who are pissed off all the time are faking it too. Anytime you have to put conscious EFFORT into BEING a certain way, you are NOT being yourself, and this is why it doesn’t feel right deep down in your soul.

This is also why deep down we give ourselves so much shit for it and sometimes lash out at others when we’re really just so ticked of at ourselves that we haven’t yet figured out that we’re not supposed to drown in the bad times or lose ourselves in the good times. Paradox Dictionary Definition" Art Board Print by Primly | Redbubble

We are meant to flow through them all, arms out, ready to grab life by the balls. Ready to experience all it has to offer in those experiences (yes good or bad), and when you can be conscious of that outside of the emotions that come with these experiences, you have discovered who YOU are in there. And the more you stay aware of this truth, the easier it becomes to not attach to emotions and moments and not be so reactive. It becomes more natural to, well…be natural. To be neutral; to be at peace.

And when you finally learn to find your inner peace, you become the most powerful being on this plane of existence, yet may find no desire to use said power in any said direction. Because there’s no more looking. No more need to look. Just acceptance of what IS. Pure “Is-ness”, if you will. And it is only as much as “it is” in how it supersedes its need to be.

I hope I didn’t lose you there, but again you have to be willing to lose it all to have it all. And I hope you all have the most peaceful (yet maybe a little paradoxical) weekend! 🙂

 

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




Empath Survival 101: How to Stop Breaking Your Own Heart

Image result for quotes about empathsThis week I wanted to write about a topic near and dear to my heart; empathy. It goes without saying that feelings of empathy are what connect the hearts of humanity and are the ties that bind us all throughout the cosmos and across all of time and space. It is what allows us to literally step into the shoes of another and experience their perspective, their view, and even sometimes their thoughts, energy and feelings as intensely and as vividly as they do themselves.

Most of us are born with an innate sense of empathy and if we see someone or something in pain, we get a tingle in our gut that makes us want to reach out and console or help them. We feel deep down that connection I mentioned earlier, even if we cannot on the surface of our consciousness fully understand why or where these feeling are coming from.

In today’s society, sadly many of us are unaware of the magnificent details of this connection and most are certainly not taught about it in school or from our parents. But some of us, those we call Emotional or Intuitive Empaths, are born with such capabilities that they without effort absorb and pick up on the energies, thoughts and feelings of those around them and therefore are forced to explore this extra-sensory avenue of our physical capabilities. I, to my blessing and also to my demise, am one of these people.

I haven’t shared this truth about myself with many people as I was growing up as even at the age of 3 I knew I was different and felt like an outcast. I knew things adults around me didn’t and frankly I found out the hard way that most adults do not appreciate being corrected, especially by a child. I got kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions about God that couldn’t be answered, and often was asked to leave classrooms for the same reason. I just couldn’t turn off this endless sense of curiosity and wonderment in my brain about the world around me, and with the constant bombardment of emotions, feelings, thoughts and energy that were not merely of my own creation, but of those around me, I was always stimulated, energetically triggered, pushed and pulled emotionally and for a kid not knowing what the hell is happening, it can be quite confusing.

Universities even studied my abilities as a child, but for me personally, it was up to me to find out the answers about who I was, what these gifts were, why they were endowed to me, and what purpose they served for me on my path in life. For many years I hated them and just wanted them to go away. I hid them from my friends and just played the role of the friend who always gave good advice and was a good listener. The friend who always knew what you were feeling. I became so embedded in my own disguise that in my 20‘s I had no idea who I was and tried to find myself in drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex, and unhealthy relationships that only left me feeling used and abused…and rightly so. Image result for quotes about empaths

Today, at age 41 I have no regrets and many goals and dreams ahead of me, but I was recently reminded of just how fragile the heart truly is and just how much more growing I have to do. I had thought I knew the scope of my gifts, but I finally know now that I am here to use them for the greater good, not to hide them away in shame. And I feel I’m finally ready to do that. You see when you live for others for your entire life, even the idea of self-love feels foreign to you. It is something that comes riddled with guilt and shame because you are just not used to putting yourself first.

However, I know in my heart of hearts that I must come out of this dark night of the soul rising high with the sun and with pride and remembrance of who I chose to not only be but BECOME in this lifetime. If that can inspire just one person to also have the courage to live their truth and not be afraid of who they are, they I will have used my gifts in the way they were intended.

For the majority of my life, I’ve built walls to protect myself and to take care of others. But I realize now and I share this insight with not only other Empaths out there but anyone who feels like they always put themselves out there, just to have their hearts broken over and over again; that we must first LIVE for ourselves so we can LEARN to LOVE for ourselves. Then and only then will we stop breaking our own hearts, and be able to authentically show up in the space that the Universe has carved out just for us. For we are all sparks of divine light, but we must be willing to turn our focus inward because this light resides within our own hearts and can only be seen once we fully embrace our own soul, our own spirit for the perfect imperfection; the sliver of magnificence that it is.

tamara Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a Conservative voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. 

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to TamaraRant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.