How to Awaken a Woman’s Sexuality with Yoni Massage

Written by on May 1, 2018 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 3 Comments

Water lily flower in woman hands

By Christina Antonyan | Confident Lover

Tantric philosophy approaches the vagina from a place of love and respect and giving a yoni massage is a means of honoring women.

A yoni is an ancient tantric term used to describe a woman’s vulva and vagina.

In Sanskrit it’s translated to sacred space. The original source – the doorway into this world.

A yoni massage is a massage of the vulva and vagina.

Similar to a lingam massage a yoni massage allows a woman to experience healing, release, expansion and transcendence.

She experiences different kinds of feelings, stimulations, pleasures and sensations by moving the energy from her yoni throughout the entire body.

The goal is not to bring her to orgasm or have sex.

Instead the intent is to awaken her awareness and all the subtle sensations of her sexuality using breath, sound, and massage.

Scientific studies are now verifying how our psychology and neurology shape our physiology.

The body is an extension of the mind’s thoughts, both conscious and un-conscious, and past memories, stories, tensions and traumas remain stored in the tissues and fascia of our musculature affecting our current behaviors.

Related Article: Here’s How to Give Your Woman a Healing Tantric Yoni Massage

A yoni massage can be an experience of deep pleasure, intimacy and connection.

This is a chance for her to open and release any emotional, physical and psychological blocks such as guilt, anxiety, shame or other limiting beliefs that are holding her back from fully expressing her sexuality.

A yoni massage allows a woman to fully let go and receive pleasure without thinking or needing to reciprocate.

This allows to her to completely relax into the moment of pleasure. Before she can fully let go, she needs to feel safe.

Below are 5 essential preparation tools:


The intention of the massage is to experience deep pleasure, healing, awakening and transformation.

There’s also a strong focus on reserving space for whatever emotions arise during the massage so the emotions can be felt and experienced without fear or judgments.

There are no expectations or goals.


In the beginning it’s important to set clear intentions and boundaries.  This allows both partners to fully relax and be in alignment.

Once the massage has begun, it’s best for the woman to communicate with sounds, emotions and movements.

If she’s constantly talking and giving feedback it will make it difficult for her to fully let go and enjoy the complete experience.

Clean Hands

Gentlemen please have clean hands and trimmed fingernails. This might seem obvious, but men generally don’t realize how sensitive the female genitals can be.


The space should create a safe and relaxing environment for sharing.

Cushions, blankets, towels, soft music, soft lights and whatever else you need to ensure you both feel comfortable.

The first time I had a yoni massage I couldn’t relax at all, because the room was too cold and there was no way to heat it up.

Even though the therapist was using hot oil, I couldn’t fully let go, relax, and be in the moment.

When the body is cold it gets rigid, and warmth is a very important aspect of any sensual experience.


Lubrication is a necessity for a Yoni Massage. What’s more important is the choice of lubricant. The yoni is very sensitive, the more natural and pure the lubricant the better it is for her.

My personal favorite is coconut oil.

Once the space is created now it’s time to slowly initiate the massage.


Related Article: How We Stigmatize Female Genitalia: a Brief History of Vagina Worship

Below are 6 Essentials To A Deeply Enjoyable Yoni Massage

1) Patience

A complete yoni massage can take up to 3-6 hours, because a woman’s body needs time, nurturing, and trust to open.

First, start with a full-body oil massage. There is no touching of her yoni until she’s fully relaxed.

Patience is the key for providing her the space to savor the sensations and feelings.

Depending on her emotional and mental state, the massage can be far more of a spiritual and mental experience instead of a physical one.

2) Connect With Her

Have her lay on her back with you sitting between her legs, and her legs wrapped around your waist.

For many this is the most comfortable position for the person giving the massage.

You can choose any other position you like, as long as you both feel comfortable.

Put your one hand on her heart center in the middle of her chest, and the palm of your other hand on her yoni.

Allow your hands to go soft and feel her body.



Related Article: G-Spot 101: What it is and How to Stimulate it (Video)

3) Breath and Sounds

Start with massaging the vulva (the outside area). Ask her to breath and make sounds accordingly.

You can then prepare her by slowly circling the entrance of her yoni with your middle finger and letting her exuberance draw you in.

Remind her to breath as breathing releases tension and increases oxygen to the cells.

4) The Art of Stroking

Because of the sensitivity of the yoni, this type of massage requires variety of touch, intensity, and pressure, which are all welcomed, but keep in mind that it’s not about stroking fast or hard.

For most of the massage you will not be stroking hard of fast, but as her arousal level builds she will need more intensity.

5) Explore Many Spots

The clitoris has roughly 8,000 nerve endings – find her soft spots and tease her to bliss. For most women, her clitoris is the most erroneous and sensitive spot.



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