They say the first seven years of life are the most impressionable as we are literally sponges for information. As children, we are constantly absorbing everything around us as we explore our world. Everything is new and exciting and for the most part we begin to form a sense of “self” from those around us, and hopefully that’s a positive experience, but unfortunately for many of us, it’s not so much…
If we are unable to communicate how we feel as a child or act out in fear, and if we do not have our feelings validated we may gain the perception that it’s not okay to feel how we feel or to trust our own feelings; or that those types of feelings are “not okay” and need to be hidden. Often times we grow up with shame and guilt attached to many emotions, and put ourselves through self-driven torture in our own minds but allowing that guilt and shame to direct our actions. We begin to dismiss our own needs, just as we learned to as children.
If we do not develop a healthy sense of self, with an understanding that our needs are important as are the needs of others, then we may begin to develop self-esteem issues as well because we will learn to not trust ourselves and to, therefore, get validation through other people.
We learn that if we are not praised for work we’ve done, then it was no good, that if someone doesn’t compliment our new shoes, then we must’ve been mistaken thinking they look good on us and put them in the back of the closet at the end of the day. In other words, we lack a sense of independent choices; of authentic action. And everyone is born with, worthy of, and regardless of how deeply ingrained it may become into us as children that we are “not good enough” (for whatever…someone’s time, attention, forgiveness, etc.), we are ALL here to embody ourselves to the fullest potential and there is no one better to decide what that may look like that ourselves.
When we rely so heavily on others that there is a reliance on co-dependency for the relationship to survive, there forms an invisible divide that will eventually manifest itself in some way into the physical world whether it looks like depression, constant anger and/or abuse, lack of intimacy (closeness, not necessarily sexual in nature), anxiety, etc. There may be a constant sense of living a double life or feeling out of control and just “going along with things” because you might feel nothing you think, say or do really makes any difference anyway, and that is a horrible way to feel.
The video below explains the dangers of these “perceptual parallel realities” and how to reconnect with the people around you in healthier ways so as to rejoin them in your relationships in spaces that are much more loving and that which allow for both people to truly be who they are and who they were always meant to be, regardless of what they may have ever been told they could never become.
VIDEO SOURCE: Teal Swan
Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com
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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.
