True Victory: How to Stop Competing and Start Collaborating


Image result for collaborationSomething dawned on me the other day when I was thinking about how fast the year had gone by. As I was reassessing my goals for my coaching business, my website, etc. super excited to roll out some new ideas…I could hear the usual voice in my head in the background, while a quiet, yet demanding whisper at the moment, steadily increasing to an in-your-face roar of how little I’ve once again accomplished as another year flies by, just waiting to pounce on the tidbit of joy I’d mustered out of some goals I haven’t “fully” yet accomplished…

And then I think…”According to WHO???”. Who am I competing against except who I used to be anyway? Sure, we may compete against one another for sport, for jobs, for the mere satisfaction of the ego…whatever the reason might be, in the end, the only competition that ever really counts is the one we kept up not against, but WITH ourselves. So why be a jerk to yourself about it? Why not instead be the best damn coach you never had? Why not let it be OK where I am right now for once?

When we choose to be brave enough about how we treat ourselves, it allows us a wider perspective on where we are in our lives in relation to any goals we’ve set forth for ourselves, which could ultimately help us get there a lot faster and more effectively. This leads us to collaboration…with ourselves, with others in your industry, etc.

It also shows us where, if we’ve reached this awareness, a new perspective to come from that perhaps is a little kinder to the spirit and a lot nicer to work with. And it doesn’t come from a place of empty egoic need to fill a space inside with something outside. No, it comes from the heart and a need to grow and expand; to create and express.

As when we relax into life, this is what we naturally do. And it’s funny how when we start to actually enjoy our lives, some of us think we’re either doing something wrong and this whole shithouse is about to go up in flames any second, or that (basically from the same line of fear energy), that it simply will not last and therefore we MUST self-sabotage it and push it away immediately, because at least then we know we had control.

I think if we were taught a bit differently when it comes to our dreams, our inspirations, our talents and gifts, etc. when we are children and not sold the idea we need to diminish those things that make us happy but not enough money as a career, or that we must sell our very sense of spirit to become someone else’s idea of success. And even if we achieve THAT, we soon find that it’s not fulfilling…there is always more to reach for, more to want. But when do we actually “win”?

When we learn to float…

That’s just it…as much as we can say that the only constant is change itself, we all continue to fight change constantly! We know the calm release of relaxation and how it feels to let go after a long day. That is because we’ve allowed ourselves to stop pushing against life, to stop trying to fight the current and to float instead. When we float, we are in calm trust of ourselves, our surroundings and where we are headed, because we now have a well-defined idea of what “success” looks like to us personally, beyond the measure of materialism.

Once we can master the art of floating with a conscious release, we can keep the awareness of our choices, and also our responsibilities and consequences of those choices. We aren’t just saying, “fuck it all, screw it, I just don’t care anymore!” and give up, we are NOT giving up. What we are doing, however, is letting go. And ultimately, celebrating your moves forward (no matter how small or how slowly) as wins in and of themselves.

And it is in this simple (yet never easy) act of letting go, that we allow joy to flow directly to us from the Universe, from Source, from God, from whatever funnel of abundance you resonate most with. We are not restricting the flow by holding so tightly (literally) to needing control over everything in your life.

When you realize that life is not happening to you, but rather responding to you, you stop fighting so hard because there is no fight, just the illusion of battle, a reflection of the constant inner war of “change” or “remain”. Which brings up back to the constant of change…it is not punishing nor rewarding us by bringing us joy then always coming to rip it away, but simply breathing in accordance with all of existence.

Ever-cycling, pattern-spiraling to bring back around to us, again and again, the lessons we are yet to learn. And the joy that we are meant to build upon like a foundation of gold within our hearts; the trick is that once we have it, no one can truly ever take it from us; they can only make us believe it is gone…

One cannot hold this truth within their heart without also protecting the peace that comes with it. Because deep within hides the knowing that when we hold too tightly, everything is lost and nothing is gained…but when we connect deeply enough to this truth, everything is gained and nothing is lost. What better win IS there? 🙂


Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

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