By Erin McKelle Fischer | Bustle
Sexual fantasies are still something of a taboo topic (despite the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey); since the majority of adults have them, though, it’s high time we start talking about them. So if you ever wondered what your sexual fantasies say about you, listen up — according to experts, here’s what they might mean. Ready to get a little hot and heavy?
Related Article: The 6 Most Common Female Sexual Fantasies and Why Women Have Them
Rachel Keller, a graduate student studying human sexuality at Delaware’s Widener University, defines sexual fantasies as “a conscious set of thoughts that contain sexual themes, acts, imagery, and/or language. In many cases, but not always, sexual fantasizing coincides with physical arousal and sexual activity.” Basically, they’re complex daydreams that involves sex. Often, what we fantasize about doesn’t align with our values and principles and involve things that we would never really want to happen in real life; as a result, many people are still embarrassed by them. But it might be worth getting to know what does it for you in the fantasy realm — it might tell you something about yourself you might not already know. Here’s a roundup of the four most common sexual fantasies for women and what they reveal about you.
1. Being a Dominant
Although gender stereotypes suggest otherwise, being dominant in the bedroom is the most common sexual fantasy for women. Experts speculate that this is actually due to the lack of power that women have in society, since men are often in control of our social systems. In terms of personality, if you’re easy going and laid back, you’re more likely to have this sort of fantasy, since it allows you to gain control.
2. Being a Submissive
Being a sub is also a very common fantasy for women. This type of fantasy has created controversy among sexuality and psychology experts, but the one thing everyone agrees on is that having a submissive sexual fantasy means that you probably have some control issues. In one study, socially dominant women reported enjoying fantasies of submission more than others, which actually makes a lot of sense — it can be relieving to give up power.
Related Article: 16 Kinds of Intimate Kisses & What They Mean
3. Being Watched
If you think about voyeurism while getting it on, you’re probably an adrenaline junkie. It’s the anxiety of being able to get caught that makes this fantasy so exciting! You also may have slightly low self-esteem or may haveunresolved family conflicts, as both have been cited as part of the psychology of this fantasy.
