Most of us have heard of the ego and Sigmund Freud’s work around it which tells us that it’s development is a necessary part of who we are. Without it, there is no “I” for us to identify with. Freud goes onto claim that without the ego, our minds would have no conscious way to comprehend where “we” end and the rest of the world “begins”. 
I’ve always been a HUGE fan of Freud’s (more so around his less-popular theories on sexuality) and completely agree that without our egos, we would all be leaning toward completely unmotivated. The ego, if used properly as the tool is it meant to be, can show us areas within ourselves that still need healing. The trick, however, to working with the ego is to remember that it does WHATEVER it takes to prevent expansion, growth, change and pretty much anything outside of your comfort zone. It is an expert at convincing you that you are making good, productive choices for yourself when in actuality you literally could be setting lit matches to your proverbial treehouse.
So, the key here is to first study the ego and figure out exactly how it works and maneuvers. Guaranteed it is always sneaky, coercive, and slick in how it will make suggestions for your next move, word or action. But once we know how it works, we’ve pretty much disabled out ego’s best weapon (stealth). And now, we just need to keep playing the game and observing.
As we watch our ego in play we will begin to see patterns emerge which will make clear exactly how we are “still stuck” in life situations we swore to ourselves we would’ve had resolved weeks, months or even years ago. We will begin to see how our ego was the one whispering in our ear that “He’ll change and treat me with kindness if I just stick around long enough and prove how much I love him.” or “I deserve to eat this tub of ice cream because I had such a bad day today.”
There are ENDLESS examples that we could list here, but the point is, anything you can think of where you’re subconscious mind convinced you to do something that was not in your best interest, that was not serving your highest Self, was the workings of your EGO doing what it does best and keeping you in the same little box it has grown to love and adore to keep you living small!
So, how do we beat this little trickster at its’ own game? First, we need to find that place in our hearts to stop looking at the ego through eyes of judgment and see it through the eyes of love. Only then can we shift the energy around our ego from one of annoyance and avoidance to one of willingness to integrate what we can learn from it. And eventually, this process will allow us to grow past the blocks that the ego has previously succeeded with throwing onto our path.
When we know ahead of time the signature signs that certain thoughts, motivations, reactions, etc. are ego-driven, then we are empowered with the knowledge of how to take the next best step. And an uninformed person with a leading ego might end up writing a bunch of accusatory emails they later regret, or shout at their children for no reason, or sabotage a health regimen they’ve put in place for themselves. Why? Because their ego was successful in convincing them it was in their best interest in that particular moment, and because they were in “reactive” mode (letting the outer world determine their moods, thoughts, next move, etc.) they went with it. 
This is the difference between living a life of struggle and living a life of true empowerment. As we learn to master the latter, of course, we may shift back and forth between the two as with anything it’s definitely a learning process. However, the more you take the time to observe yourself and your ego the more familiar you become with it all and the simpler it becomes to stay in PRO-active mode.
Once you get a taste of empowered living, there’s no giving that up, there’s no going back to sleep. It would be like locking away your most valuable tool and never using it again; because you have seen how when you move from a proactive, empowered place, the game is yours and YOU now make the rules. Do you feel the difference there? Between insecure, needy, fear-based ego and secured, empowered, healthy ego? 
I truly believe the ego is meant to help humanity, not harm it. It is only when we as individuals allow our minds and actions to be ruled by ego does it negatively affect our lives and the lives of those around us. But the ego is best used as a compass of sorts, pointing the way to what areas within us need healing and integration so we can rise up energetically and show up in our lives as we were meant to; connected, yet unique slivers of cosmic Creator Consciousness.
If we listen closely, there is another voice underneath the egos’ loudness that speaks only Truth and has only our best interest in mind. This voice belongs to our intuition, our Higher Selves (Spirit) and if we wish to master the use of our egos, it is wise to let it be guided by Spirit. This is how we develop “healthy” egos that allow us to speak up for ourselves, say no to people with feeling guilty, say yes to people without feeling drained, speak our Truth, and stand authentically in our lives without feeling insecure or feeling the need to incessantly compare ourselves to others.
Another gauge of a healthy ego is that we are okay spending time with ourselves and doing things on our own. We really only feel the need to reach out for assistance when truly necessary and learn to truly value the time, energy and presence of others – because that is how much we now value our own time, energy and presence.
Much love and have a most excellent weekend! <3
Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com
Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.
The author’s assesment of the ego’s purpose and intent is completely, utterly, wrong. Unfortunately, her notions about the ego are all too common. The ego is a fundamental aspect of human psychological structure. You are not self aware without it. It is the source of your personal boundaries and your ability to make decisions. It is the gateway to self-discovery. It is not an evil twin with only disruption and destruction on its mind. The author of the article needs to spend a great deal more time and effort in studying the ego and it’s true and real part in human behavior. If she did so she would discover that an overinflaged ego is simply trying to compensate for a severly diminished sense of self. It represents an individual who is emotionally immature and who needs to spend considerable time in self-examination. Also, Freud’s orientation toward sexuality was mired in his Austrian Jewish, Victorian tinged culture, a culture which was obsessed with sex and in a very negative way, which he was never able to step out of or gain any kind of healthy perspecitve on. It is all mostly hogwash and has perpetrated all kinds of psychological violence.
Furthermore, both Freud and I agree with you that there is no identity of self without the ego as mentioned in my article, “Freud goes onto claim that without the ego, our minds would have no conscious way to comprehend where “we” end and the rest of the world “begins”. ” Not quite sure how that’s any different from what you said, but perhaps next time you call something hogwash make sure it’s not saying exactly what you’re trying hard to stand against as opposition when it’s not. Thanks again!
Author here. Thanks for the extended comment Greg, I appreciate you taking the time. However, I’d like to clarify that simply because you have a different opinion, no where did I imply the ego is “evil”. In fact, as the title of my article states, there is much more behind what people typically think about it. I’ve spent years studying the ego as well as the human psyche in general so I think I’ve earned the same respect to voice my opinion. I’m also currently pursuing my PhD in Transpersonal Counseling, so if you ever wanna talk more about your own ego, please let me know. Thanks!
My comments in regard to your orientation to the ego stands. That orientation is one that leads way too many others to think of the ego as an evil twin that needs to be chained and kept under tight control. Here is a quote directly from your article that clearly demonstrates an orientation toward the ego that is fully in error. “So, the key here is to first study the ego and figure out exactly how it works and maneuvers. Guaranteed it is always sneaky, coercive, and slick in how it will make suggestions for your next move, word or action. But once we know how it works, we’ve pretty much disabled out ego’s best weapon (stealth). And now, we just need to keep playing the game and observing.” Keep in mind that I made no comment in regard to your character and did not label you as egocentric. Your comment to me in that respect was really just a cheap shot. My comment in regard to Freud strictly references his orientation toward human sexuality. I have no issue with his original observations regarding the ego. Good luck with your studies. I hope they are truley productive.
Your very first sentence in your original comment straight out says my assessment is “wrong”. And again, describing the ego the way I have in no way implies it is evil. Since it does run from the SUBconscious, it can often be hard to discern between actions, thoughts, etc. that truly come from a place of inner knowing or insight as opposed to programming, indoctrination, etc. that often triggers the ego to go on autopilot. And your right, no idea how I got the impression you were taking your own cheap shot using verbiage such as “wrong”, “hogwash”, or acting like I’m some uneducated little girl who needs your schooling. Thanks for the comment, but if anyone should keep studying the magnificent ego and how to use it to best serve you, perhaps it should be who you actually see in the mirror, rather than those who merely trigger your reflective projections. Have a great day!
Uplifting. Thank you!