Can You Consciously Cultivate Sexual Chemistry in a Relationship?

Written by on May 7, 2018 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 4 Comments


By Tracee Dunblazier | Meet Mindful

We like to think sexual chemistry will happen naturally, complete with fireworks, passion, and sparks. Sometimes, though, we need to help things along.

The answer is a loud resounding yes.

People are sexually attracted to one another for many reasons: because their DNA is compatible (chemistry), they are emotionally open, they perceive power and seek dominance, or maybe they just like each other. Whatever the case may be, if you’ve found someone you really like but the sexual attraction doesn’t seem to be there, don’t fret.

Related Article: Intuition and Relationships: Are You in Love or Lust?

As an empath, I experience a lot of emotion—emotions of my own and those of others. When a person is in an emotional place, what it means is that they are open for giving and receiving energy. This energy flow is centered in the second Chakra (human energy field portal) which governs the sexual organs and where Chi (Universal Life Force) enters the body. Although it appears that a person may be sexually attracted to you, they could just be emotionally open. Conversely, if a person appears interested but not sexually attracted, it could be because they are emotionally shut down.

There are several components to sexual attraction and throughout the life of a relationship they will all be tested, cultivated, expanded, and contracted as is the way of life force. Below are a few things to think about when in the need of some cultivation. But, while you are reflecting on these things, don’t worry: be happy.

Related Article: How To Choose The Right Relationship For You

1) Trust

Trust is the number one factor in a balanced loving sexual relationship. There are two kinds of trust: emotional and physical. Emotionally trusting another relies on your ability to trust yourself. To, in the face of your own vulnerability, know that you are safe, whole, and lovable above all things. You must be able to know and love yourself first so that your response to your mate’s possible immaturity or mis-deed is compassion and reestablishing boundaries. On the other side of this?

2) Being Emotionally Trustworthy

This means when your friend or lover reveals something precious to them that you receive it without judgement and with kindness, sensitivity, and compassion. And, whatever you do, don’t use it in a fight with them later. Of course physical trust is fairly self-explanatory. It means that people need to feel physically safe in order to have all of the other components you’ll see below.

Related Article: 12 Natural Aphrodisiacs to Raise Libido and Increase Desire

3) Relaxation

Many folks experience daily stressors and anxieties and while, for some, sex may be a stress reliever, for many it is not. The biggest aphrodisiac in a relationship is kindness and care. Paying attention to your partner’s needs and desires. Listening to them when they speak. Responding to their subtle bids for attention. Helping them get or resolve what they need in order to relax. Understand that sexual interaction happens as a result of many subtle emotional connections over a period of time.


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4 Reader Comments

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  1.' Patricia Harrold says:

    I think either you have it or you don’t.

  2.' Cindy Austin says:

    Um. No!

  3.' Lynn Landucci says:

    Chemistry so important !

  4.' Jay Liddicote says:

    It can be improved but needs to be there at first

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