How To Choose The Right Relationship For You


You attract into your life people that mirror aspects of yourself at that particular time.

You have things to teach and gifts to give each other.

I believe that you also have certain lessons that your souls have agreed to learn and karma to work out together.

Although relationships aren't always easy, they are amazing vehicles for growth and evolution. Through the mirror of another you get to see, heal and love parts of yourself that you may not have been able to on your own.

Every relationship is going to have it’s challenges. This is not the issue, how you deal with them and with your partner is really the issue.

So much of the pain I see people experience in relationships is because they have chosen the “wrong” person. And it's our conditioning that causes us to do what we do and choose who we choose.

One of the keys to a healthy fulfilling relationship that works is choosing the right person. (Watch the video above for the 4 key questions)

I believe that much of the pain and frustration in relationship is actually unnecessary. It doesn't have to be this way.

However, in order to change, you must be conscious and aware, otherwise your unconscious programming will tend to run you and your choices.

Just because you feel what you think is an attraction and chemistry doesn't mean he/she is the one you should be in a romantic relationship with. In fact, I think that you should actually be extra aware when you feel that irresistible pull or attraction.

We tend to seek out partners who remind us of our caretakers growing up. Many clients of mine have said, “I will never marry anyone like my dad!” Only to find themselves with a man who turns out to be just like their father, even though it may not have seemed that way at first.

Consciously we might look for partners who have positive traits but more often than not, we attract partners that also carry the negative traits of our parents.

Why you might ask?

Unconsciously we try to recreate the conditions of our childhood in order to be able to correct and heal them.

So before you decide to commit to a relationship, use discernment and ask yourself these 4 key questions:

1) Do I trust this person?  Do I trust their heart, intentions and integrity?

Could I trust this person with my life?

If you don't feel a trust for them, why would you be in a committed relationship?

2) Do I feel I can grow and evolve more by being with this person than on my own? Will this relationship challenge and inspire me to grow and expand into more of who I really am?

If not, then be by yourself.

3) Am I compatible with this person? Are we both going in a similar direction, growing at a similar pace? Would I want to be with this person if I met him/her for the first time today?

If not, question yourself because in order for a relationship to work, compatibility is key.

4) Can I love and accept this person exactly as they are?

If they didn't change, would I feel ok and at peace?

If you can't accept who they are now, you are just setting yourself up for pain and suffering in the future.

To have the opportunity to be in relationship with and love another person is a profound gift. It is a privilege.

Choosing someone that isn't compatible with you and trying to make them be what you want, doesn't honor you or the other person. Instead choose someone who is already what you want, not someone you need to fix or change.

Life is too short to be unhappy.

Choose wisely.

Choose grace and ease.

Choose love.




Kute BlacksonKute Blackson is an utterly unique visionary in the world of human potential. Unlike those who promise to simply help people “get” what they want, Kute’s life work instead reveals to people what they have to give, by liberating who they are most truly and deeply. The focus: Freedom. Acclaimed worldwide for his life changing, one of a kind, transformational experiences, he is considered one of the leading voices in the fields of transformation and spirituality. Kute is an inspiring modern day spiritual teacher and a bold voice for a new generation. He leads transformational journeys to Bali (get more info here).  He also helps women overcome any and all obstacles to love with his “The Man Breakthrough Experience” , the Women's Seminar.

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5 Reader Comments

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  1.' Jeff Andrews says:


  2.' Eric Schlueter says:

    All depends on how “close” some wants to get.

  3.' Eileen Enerva says:

    Christina Lesnikowski

  4.' Kerry Whitelam says:

    I found peace in divorce. Was fed up of 19 yrs of always been the giver. I prefer my dogs company shes far more considerate than the ex hubby.

  5.' Dmytro Lavrov says:

    Or simply stay happily single

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