How Important Is Sex In a Relationship? A Man’s View

Posted by on November 7, 2017 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 7 Comments
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

bed-intimacy-smile-bedroom-sex-happy-compressed

By Kenedy Singer | Meet Mindful

The importance of sex in a healthy relationship cannot be understated. Well, mostly.

See, as a guy, it’s definitely one of the most important things if not THE most important thing. It’s a primal thing, really. On the other hand, many women would say it’s just as important, but may be more likely to overlook the issue if everything else in the relationship is going well.


Here’s a simple way to sum things up: Men often choose a woman based upon the sex (or the prospect of it), and end up falling in love; while women generally choose a man based upon the love they feel, and end up enjoying sex. I know that “all” is a total generalization, but you get my point. Men tend to focus on sex. Women tend to focus on love.

Related Article: What Amazing Sex Feels Like for Women – In Their Own Words

But let me get personal here, I’m divorced. My ex is a lovely woman, whom I still love dearly. However, we had many challenges in our marriage. One of the byproducts of all that (though some might argue it to actually be the cause) is that we quit having sex. The effect of this on me was challenging. Often, I’d feel sexually frustrated and felt resentment towards my ex because we weren’t being intimate.

The implications of all these factors are big because sex is a deep and powerful form of intimacy. It bonds and connects two people in ways that few other things can. It’s beyond the mind. It’s beyond the body, too. There is a deep energetic connection that bonds two people when they make love.

It’s not just the intermingling of juices. It’s not even that two people shared an act of love with someone, that they most likely hold sacred. What’s really happened is that there has been a union between two people that transcends time and space. And we know it. Yet it’s very hard to quantify. Right? We all know how close we feel to someone after we have sex. That doesn’t mean it’s the magical elixir for all that might be off or dysfunctional in a relationship.

But, heck, it sure does mean that it helps bring us together. The term “makeup sex” is just that. It brings us closer. If you’ve had a hard day and your hackles are all up towards your partner, yet at the end of the day you go to bed and make love, then the chances are that you will soften towards them and feel closer after making love.

Related Article: 100 Percent Of Men Surveyed Said They Love THIS Type Of Sex Most

I know many women may be saying that they just can’t have sex when they don’t feel close to their partner. It’s a valid point. I’m not saying you should.

What I am suggesting is this: if you want to feel more connected to your partner but are allowing squabbles and minor disagreements set your emotional agenda, simply let this anger fall away. Consider that the simple act of saying “yes” to your partner, and to passion, may begin to shift the dynamic. If you’re both honoring each other correctly, sex will most likely help you feel closer to your love.

Back to my marriage, there were often times when we had fought or just felt distance between us. This continued on and on so that we continued to grow apart over time. It could have been different. Many experts approach relationship challenges from the “deficiency model.” In this model, they identify what isn’t working, and work to fix those problems.

Makes lots of sense, right? Something is broken, so go fix it. What doesn’t jive with this approach is that it doesn’t typically address what is the core issue—a solid foundation in the relationship.

Relationship expert John Gottman has done outstanding research on relationships and what makes them work. This is where Gottman is different. He doesn’t suggest fixing anything. Rather, his approach is all about creating a solid foundation in the relationship. One where both people feel a strong, deep bond between each other. In doing this,there is a stronger bond and a level of goodwill that flows. When your man comes home at the end of the day and is in caveman mode, you don’t take it personally. And when your woman just wants to talk and be heard, you are happy to listen because you know she just needs an ear.

READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE…

Tags: , , ,

Subscribe

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it.

Subscribe via RSS FeedConnect on YouTube

7 Reader Comments

Trackback URL Comments RSS Feed

  1. 1250001891683387@facebook.com' Marie Sanders says:

    IMPORTANT!

  2. 10205624011790087@facebook.com' Tanya Steele says:

    Been together 35 years. How many times a month? How many days ARE there in a month??? Sometimes more than once a day!

  3. 823819661049614@facebook.com' Lexie Peterson Ulubiyo says:

    This can’t be generalized!

  4. 930547750371324@facebook.com' Sabine Rijpma-Esser says:

    sure there are moments in a normal family life when people are not able to think on to have sex! To tired from work and also sickness or if someone or more in the family or your best friends are dying and there are more reasons on that kind and than counts the love from heart and to be for eatchother and care for eatchother and to have understanding and dont force things and dont put the partner under pressure with only sexual lust thinking coz for to feel lust you have to be free from stress and worrys, otherwise it is, especially for weman, painfull and not exiting and enjoying! A hug, a kiss, holding hands and simply show to be there and to care, no matter what, is all most what is than important, in any case have to be, in a good relationship

  5. 10206961087839955@facebook.com' Cara Riley says:

    19 years. Maybe four or five times a year, but we have other intimate moments several times every day. It’s not just about sex, especially when procreation is off the table…

  6. 10205554661255623@facebook.com' Salim Adnim says:

    Very important.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

FAIR USE NOTICE. Many of the stories on this site contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making this material available in an effort to advance the understanding of environmental issues, human rights, economic and political democracy, and issues of social justice. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of the copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright Law which contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. If you wish to use such copyrighted material for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use'...you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. And, if you are a copyright owner who wishes to have your content removed, let us know via the "Contact Us" link at the top of the site, and we will promptly remove it.

The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Conscious Life News assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms.

Paid advertising on Conscious Life News may not represent the views and opinions of this website and its contributors. No endorsement of products and services advertised is either expressed or implied.
Top

Send this to friend