How to Give (And Forgive) From the Heart

I feel like writing about this topic is long overdue. For the majority of my life, I was a “yes” person. I would offer to help people whether I actually could or not. And I’d torture myself with guilt and shame if and when I often couldn’t actually help at all. Oh, the stories we tell ourselves! 🙂

Somewhere along the way, I had learned that good people give, no matter what. Not the healthiest belief…but I also had also formed the belief that giving feels good when you’re coming from your heart. Better. And so it became like a personal challenge for me almost to try and help whomever by however means I could. But the problem was that giving wasn’t feeling good and in fact I was starting to resent the people I had assisted.

Eventually, as I looked less out into the world for validation and more within my own being…I began to see myself in any and everyone hurting; suffering in some way. I was in full resonance with the energy of compassion and empathy. And then I knew instantaneously that the chaos I see in the world is part of a re-balancing process. And this process is repeated in each and every one of our own lives. From our deepest wounds comes our greatest strength. And with this knowing and new-found insight, I was no longer afraid. I really knew for the first time in my life that not only was I going to be okay, but that everything is going to be okay…

I have always been the type of person to self-analyze and soul-search, but this fresh insight was deep and rang Truth to my core. And so began my journey to understand this elusive joy of giving from the heart. And why I wasn’t “feeling it”. Years went by before I realized that the people I was attracting over and over were not out to get one over on me or always necessarily taking advantage; they were simply accepting an offer I had made. They were reflecting back to me every single time, my own insecurities and feelings of unworthiness; in the form of promises I almost always knew I would fail to deliver.

See, in my mind, my ego was running the show and had convinced me somehow that my love had the ability to change people into better people. And you know in some relationships it absolutely did, but never the ones where that was my intention to always “fix” people. This lead to me attracting the so-called ‘broken souls’ who always hurt people they got close to, because someone at some point really hurt them.

This is not to condone any kind of abuse, but on some level I now have a deep understanding of the suffering I’ve taken on whether induced by myself or others. And to obtain personal insight…I asked why… and on a soul level I knew I had agreed to get into relationships with people who would eventually teach me to love myself, to respect myself and to stand in my Truth at all times. And that’s exactly what they’ve done…

This way of looking at it is what has allowed me to heal past wounds and forgive myself for staying in such a toxic environments for so long. It also has allowed me to forgive those who have hurt me; not necessarily because they deserve it, but because I deserve to be free of the attachment. This was perhaps my first lesson in what true giving was because it was the first time I truly gave myself the respect to apply the lessons offered in these relationships that I always would try and shove under the rug; just so I could subconsciously keep torturing myself. Nice, huh? Sound familiar? Unfortunately, so many of us do this to ourselves.

A key element in enjoying the act of giving is honoring yourself and having the courage to say no to those requests you do not feel connected to in your heart; that you know are not meant for you. Once I began to respect myself and my time, I also started attracting people of a higher caliber, vibration, and integrity. And this has always been proof to me that the Universe speaks in resonance…

Now, when I give it always comes from my heart and from a good place that is not clouded with expectation, judgments, and false perceptions. I give simply to give, although this in itself is an ever-going art to master as it is often our human desire to always be recognized for our giving. Yet to give for any other reason that simply to show up for another in love and service, is no longer “true” giving and it’s bordering on manipulative business; almost like a transaction and you demand a receipt.

And to me, these are the keys to giving and forgiving from the heart…

  • Standing in your truth.

  • Knowing when to say no and when to say yes.

  • Giving with no expectations.

  • Show compassion & empathy as those who hurt others are those who have been hurt.

I think if we all followed these four points, we’d all be more centered in our hearts and more prepared to give fully. Sometimes all it takes is a simple act of kindness…

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

Tags: , , , , ,


If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it.

Subscribe via RSS Feed Connect on YouTube

4 Reader Comments

Trackback URL Comments RSS Feed

  1. Calibre not caliper. Learn from this and I forgive you.

  2. Yong Cp Yong Cp says:

    ANYONE at all can say ‘I forgive ? HOW? It’s easy said than DONE, no? To FORGIVE ‘ it practically means FORGIVE N FORGET, no? Real FORGIVENESS ‘ meant to be ‘U FORGET ‘ the pain ‘ the hurt ‘ the harm ‘ the grudge ‘ the suffering ‘ at all costs’ etc that’s THE TRUEST FORGIVENESS . In truth U R ‘fated rather destined to Karmic Retributions that’s URs Answer ‘ not to merely FORGIVING ‘but to forget all episodes inflicted upon U ‘ through the CLAIMANTS ‘there. Tq.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

FAIR USE NOTICE. Many of the articles on this site contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making this material available in an effort to advance the understanding of environmental issues, human rights, economic and political democracy, and issues of social justice. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of the copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright Law which contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. If you wish to use such copyrighted material for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use' must obtain permission from the copyright owner. And, if you are a copyright owner who wishes to have your content removed, let us know via the "Contact Us" link at the top of the site, and we will promptly remove it.

The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Conscious Life News assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms.

Paid advertising on Conscious Life News may not represent the views and opinions of this website and its contributors. No endorsement of products and services advertised is either expressed or implied.

Send this to a friend