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Are You Open To Receiving Love?

On Valentine’s Day, everywhere you look there are red hearts, red roses, gifts for the one you love, all the symbols of romantic love. The emphasis is on giving love tokens to your loved one, but the question is “Are you open to receiving love?”.

Here’s a simple test…

When someone compliments you (an act of love), do you accept the compliment with gratitude or do you reject it and put yourself down in response?

If you can’t accept a compliment it’s a clear indication that you are not open to receiving love.

Love is the most powerful energy in the Universe and it’s the fuel that powers the manifestation of everything in your life, including relationships.

The ability to give and receive love is dependent on your level of self-love, so a truly loving relationship requires that each partner develops self-love.

What is Self-Love?

Let’s be clear about it…

Self-love is not to be mistaken for narcissism, egotism or self-absorption, which is an excessive preoccupation with self.

Self-love is a positive acceptance (love) of all aspects of yourself; an understanding and appreciation of both your strengths and weaknesses. It is linked to self-esteem and incorporates a positive self-image.

When you lack self-love your inner critic (the ego) is in charge which constantly criticizes you for not being good enough, pretty or handsome enough, slim enough, not (fill in the blanks) enough!

The ego lives in fear and the higher self lives in love – the ability to love yourself and others. The degree of self-love that you have is related to the level of control the ego has over your thoughts.

What Stops You Receiving Love?

When you lack self-love you criticize yourself and you assume that everyone else is criticizing you too! This makes it impossible to receive love because you don’t believe anyone could love someone with all the faults you imagine yourself to have.

You have a subconscious belief that you are unlovable!

Instead of being able to give love, you need to get love to fill the inner void where the self-love is missing; to convince yourself that you are worthy of love. But, paradoxically, you can’t accept the love you’re given because you don’t feel worthy of it.

How to Develop Self-Love

We all have an ego, and becoming ‘conscious’ involves becoming aware of the ego and overcoming it, so that you put your higher self in control of your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. The more you grow in consciousness, the more the higher self is in charge and the more love you can give to yourself and your partner.

Listen to the voice in your head (your thoughts) and get tuned in to when your thoughts turn to self-judgment and criticism. At the same time you’ll notice that you feel uncomfortable too – that sinking feeling in your stomach, or a feeling of anxiety.

When it happens, don’t try to analyze your thoughts, and definitely don’t criticize yourself for having them! Just smile lovingly to yourself and silence the voice by immediately switching the critical thoughts to self-affirming thoughts instead.

Choose a mantra to say to yourself, such as “I am enough”, “I am beautiful”, “I am infinitely lovable”, or “I put my higher self in charge”. Your brain can only think one thought at a time, so doing this will automatically block out the critical thoughts of the ego.

Each time you shut down the voice of the ego you are weakening it and at the same time increasing the presence of your higher self and the love it represents.

You’ll find joy in your ability to give and receive love, and your self-love, self-esteem and the quality of the love in your relationships will grow and grow.

Jan Moore Intuitive Success CoachJan Shaw – The Success Alchemist, is a Spiritual Empowerment and Intuitive Success Coach, Success Strategist and Mindset and Manifestation Mentor and can be found at www.thesuccessalchemist.net. She delivers intuitive guidance, spiritual and metaphysical teaching, plus life and business strategies, to support you in fulfilling your Soul Mission and Life Purpose. Get your FREE copy of her Dream Achievers Success Kit or apply for a complimentary Success Strategy SessionHer book Empowered Manifestation is available on Amazon. Visit her YouTube Channel for more tips, tools, and training. You can also visit her Facebook Page and join her Facebook Group, Breakthrough to Brilliance. Jan also hosts the Cosmic Creating Show on Cosmic Reality Radio.




Lifting the Veil of Duality: 3 Key Practices of Self-Mastery

I believe not only that the Universe is alive, conscious and self-aware, but also that we are an infinite, eternal, ever-expanding part of it, and as we expand we add to the overall expanse of the Universe itself. As our self-awareness and consciousness grow, as does the Universe’s own magnificent vastness. Therefore, it makes sense, to me at least, that to make our mark on this world, we would be wise to learn what makes us expand out; to shine that light within and to never stop reaching for the proverbial stars.

heart-energy-field

If you’ve ever studied Sacred Geometry, then it is likely that you have come across the manifold structure known as the Torus. A Torus is the 3-dimensional doughnut form which has been used to represent a number of things in our “real” material world as well as our “potential” imaginary one.

A Torus is the perfect representation of the “Cosmic Flow” – everything in, everything out. There is no attachment, no judgment, just a perfect working order of absorption and release keeping things in harmony and balance. This is surrender; perfect trust, cooperation, connection, and oneness with the Universe and all that is. The only thing that disrupts this natural flow which sustains balance within us is our own free will; our own thoughts.

Here on Earth, we reside in the 3rd dimension which happens to be one of duality, or so our perceptions would have us believe. As humans, we tend to see our capability of self-knowing, of consciousness, as what puts us at the top of the species pyramid on this planet. Our ability to think logically somehow makes us the ones in charge, the rule-makers, the way-showers and controllers of all other life-forms and of course, of one another. We walk this path of supposed linear time, convincing ourselves it is a path of progression as we see continual advances in medicine and technology, but along the way have we lost sight of our most precious gifts towards Self-Mastery, simply by overseeing the nonlinear truths lying just beneath the surface of our own egoistic minds? Are we too distracted by our outer world which we struggle to control, that we have forgotten to retain the natural state of the Torus, which brings forth the knowing that there really is no need to try and control anything? If we only stop for a precious moment and surrender, we then allow the creation of the space where everything we expect the outer world to fulfill for us, can actually manifest within us.

When one is solely focused on the physical world around them, it becomes easy to be governed by the illusion of duality. The veil of thoughts and the five senses pulls the mind outside of ourselves and we get enamored with the endless opposites all around us; everywhere we look and in everything we know and care about. There’s good/evil, light/dark, and perhaps the hardest to deny are the ones that the laws of physics support moving more into polarity such as up/down, hot/cold, big/small, etc. But if we look closer, they are all relative and mere measurements of the same whole, just on opposing scales.

To further instill the illusion, we are usually taught at a young age that we must be on one side and must not like whatever is at the opposite end, without any regard for the middle-ground, or the fact one extreme could not exist without the other. We often see this in gender inequality, racial tensions & segregation, religious wars, homophobia, etc. We might even be taught that we are “special” or “different”, to compete or “be the best”, all which emphasize separation, however we are not often taught that we are all connected, or that things like race, religion, gender, and nationality are mere labels and underneath it all we are one and the same. We are rarely told of the beauty and balance found by walking in the middle, and that to be of the Light, we must also face in ourselves all that is Dark. Instead we are usually forced to repress or condemn certain feelings that are labeled as bad or evil. As we know, repression only emphasizes, builds up and leads to an eventual full-blown release. Why, then if we see so much damage done to our psyches, relationships, self-esteems, etc. are we not taught about healthy ways to know and feel through all of our emotions so we can best maintain our emotional, physical and spiritual bodies? This has been a question I’ve been trying to answer for myself for over 20 years now, and it always leads me back to the “damage of duality” and how we’ve literally been stuck in a generational loop of misguided consciousness about who we really are, where our true power comes from, and how we can all have the best chance at being our whole, happy selves.

So, how do we begin to transcend duality and walk the path of Self-Mastery? I’ve compiled a list of 3 main things I go to when I tend to get distracted, or “stuck in the mud of matter” to re-center, to find my balance and essentially my way back home.

  1. Remember – It’s All an Illusion. I always remind myself that when anything gets on my nerves or annoys me for not going as planned, that it is merely coming from my interpretation that I am separate from whatever or whomever might be bringing this feeling up in me. Instead of immediately reacting, I ask myself, “What is this trying to show or teach me?” “What can I learn here?” And more often than not, things that didn’t work out the way I initially had wanted them to ended up turning into something even more awesome! Allowing myself to trust and be in the natural flow of the Universe has only brought me more peace and less stress. We always have that choice as to how we react to things going on in our “outside” world, and I’ve learned that not immediately reacting emotionally serves to not only empower us, but has saved me from saying or doing things out of anger I would later regret. This is not to say I am repressing my feelings, but instead acknowledging them, sitting with them for a moment & feeling through them, and then letting them go energetically rather than verbally or physically spewing them onto another. This has not only empowered my life by allowing to step out of the “victim” role I used to so easily jump into, but also has given me a better understanding of just how conditioned we all tend to be, and how with practice, we can all learn to make conscious choices in our everyday actions and overall lives that work to better serve ourselves and our relationships. This in turn, deepens our connections and strengthens our bonds, reminding us of the truth that we are all connected; we are all students and we are all teachers. And when we can live in that heart space, rather than in fear, we find we are not so easily fooled by the illusion of separation. We begin to know; above all else that nothing truly exists but Love.
  1. Take Time to Be Still. Meditation is a daily ritual for me as it is for many. It is a way to declutter the mind and take control of your head-space. Too often we let the mind run on auto-pilot as we go on about our lives, and to me it is absolutely vital to put it in “time out” at least once a day. When you take time to quiet the mind and just be present, you are giving yourself the gift of your own full awareness and attention. Just like you would appreciate that from a friend while you are speaking, be kind enough to give that same attention to yourself as often as possible in the stillness of your own being. You will learn things about your body you may never have noticed before, simply by being fully present with yourself. It is only our thoughts that ever disrupt this presence. Yet it is in the stillness where truth lives, because it just always IS; always just BEing. If you have trouble quieting the mind, do not give in to rising emotions of frustration or judgement. Just let the thoughts and feelings come, feel through them and release them with a good exhale of your breathe. Think of it as a game you are playing with your thoughts, where you just always come back to center; to stillness; to peace. Your conscious mind will fight you tooth and nail to chat away endlessly as it doesn’t like being told to be quiet, especially if you are new at meditation. But over time, this will become easier. Even if you start with a couple minutes a day, that will be a welcomed break for your spirit, as ANY amount of time you literally pause your thoughts and become present, you immediately connect your heart space to all that is; to the Universe…to the pulse of existence.
  1. Keep Your Cup Full. One of the hardest lessons for me to learn on my own path was accepting the fact that I was teaching others how to treat me. I was always the super nice girl, the “yes” girl, the girl who would help anyone, anytime with anything no matter what it took from me emotionally, physically or even financially. I would act from guilt and a feeling like I wouldn’t be accepted as a “good” person if I wasn’t always giving, giving, giving of myself and while I told myself I was doing something nice, I could never figure out why it always left me feeling horrible. I would agree to do favors for people who I knew were taking advantage of me, but to whom I simply lacked the courage to set boundaries with and say no to. And perhaps my greatest lesson of them all lies within my past relationships where I always dated guys that I felt needed to be fixed in some way. And every time they left me, they left me completely drained in every area of my life. I eventually learned that I wasn’t being my authentic self and I wasn’t truly helping ANYONE by doing what I was doing. I realized that to truly be of service to others I had to “keep my own cup full” so that I was never depleted.  How could I ever help others if I have no energy, no resources, no self-esteem, no direction and no self-love? Fact is I couldn’t. So, I had to learn to finally put myself first and to be okay with that. Self-love is far from being selfish, and in fact it’s the most important love you need in your life as without it you truly cannot love others. Until you love the entirety of your own being, including all of your flaws, shortcomings, etc. you will only continue to pull in people who act as mirrors to you who will reflect those most inner parts of yourself you still do not love. And you will see this as something wrong with them, unless you are aware enough to know better. So, it’s actually the most conscious, healthy choice you can make for yourself, in my opinion…to love yourself first, so that you can then love the world with your whole heart! To love yourself enough that you are constantly receiving from the Universe as much as you are giving out, doing your service in the flow, rather than depleting your own energy. This is the magic of working with Source-energy rather than against it.

It might sound selfish to love yourself first, but it all depends on where you are coming from. If you come from a place of fear & separation and act as if you are better than or more deserving than others (inflated ego), then yes, that is not a good place to be. But when you love yourself from your heart space, with the intention to want to be the best you, so you can shine the brightest light and expand the farthest you can out into the world, making a difference; a positive mark for the greater good…well, I believe that just might be what life is truly all about. Coming from this space allows us to overcome the insistent illusion of duality and to walk the path of Self-Mastery with confidence, courage and peace in our hearts. This speaks not only to the individual, but to the entire collective consciousness we are all a part of. We are but a drop in the ocean, but as much of a vital part of it as any. Do not be afraid to make waves!

 

TamaraRantTamara Rant is a Co-Editor of CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. Connect with Tamara on Facebook by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com




Why We Shouldn’t Separate Boys and Girls For Sex Ed

Being in one’s teens is usually a hard experience both for youngsters and for their parents. It’s the time of puberty when children grow up and change in terms of their appearance and behaviour. Then, they particularly need their parents’ help, understanding and support. Unfortunately, in most cases, the reality is harsh, and adults avoid talking to their kids about such topics as pubescence, sex, and relationships. It’s usually caused by shame, but also the lack of expertise. That’s why teenagers are very often left alone and forced to learn about these things on their own. They are looking for answers on the Internet, where they may come across some misleading and unreliable information. Sometimes they even try to struggle with their sexual problems through buying some products from online pharmacies, such as medicinedirect.co.uk, because they feel afraid of asking a real pharmacist for advice.

Another source of their knowledge usually comes from school and sex education lessons. That is again debatable since youngsters are said to be ashamed of attending such classes and talking openly about sex with their teacher. Therefore, there are many approaches to how to deal with this situation. One of them is to separate boys and girls. But is it indeed the best solution for them? Shouldn’t they know about the other gender’s sexual organs and activities? Separating them won’t provide them with the full picture of sexual life. It may only lead to adolescents’ increased shame and in consequence, even sexual risk-taking behaviours, such as unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and sexual victimisation.

Imposes boundaries between boys and girls

Separate lessons undoubtedly impose certain boundaries between boys and girls. They are already told that they can’t share this intimate sphere of their lives with the other gender. Because of different body structures and biological processes happening to boys and girls during their adolescence, they are believed to find out only about their own physical appearance and sexual organs. Such thinking is, however, outdated. We live in the 21st century, and sexual topics are no longer a taboo. Both boys and girls should be aware of their own biology to be able to speak out about their sexuality with their peers and parents. It’ll also be helpful to understand better their partner’s needs in the future. Otherwise, the lack of education and misinformation may lead to some relationship problems and even breakdown.

Stimulates deeper shyness

Contrary to popular belief, separating boys and girls during their sex education classes won’t make them less shameful and more open to conversation. It actually stimulates even deeper shyness among adolescents who are afraid of talking about such topics publicly. It may have serious consequences in the future. Let’s take the example of sexual harassment or abuse at work when the boss has molested a young woman, but she is ashamed of revealing the truth. Because of some social norms imposed on her in childhood, now she is scared and more likely to sweep the whole incident under the carpet, giving men consent to commit similar offences on other innocent women. If this woman had attended sex education lessons with men, now she would probably be more self-confident and adamant about protecting her rights.

Excludes kids who are not sure about their sexuality

Finally, there are still some children who aren’t sure about their sexuality yet. They even don’t know that they can feel different. By separating them during sex education along the traditional gender lines, they have been labelled in advance. But what about children who are transgender or non-gender conforming? Why should girls learn only about the menstrual period while they feel as if they were boys? There are more and more sex reassignment injuries, also among teenagers. Thus, schools shouldn’t take them the opportunity to acquire full knowledge. Quite the contrary- they should encourage teenagers to talk about their sexuality and feelings in front of their colleagues. That is so important while observing a growing tendency to commit suicides by adolescents who are left alone with their problems, unheard and misunderstood. They are only kids who need love and support. And who will give them these things if not parents and teachers?

To prevent and say definite NO to sexual abuse and assaults, we shouldn’t separate boys and girls at sex education classes. It’s not good or more helpful for them. Let’s make children well-educated and courageous to voice their opinions on various topics, not stereotyping them according to traditional gender roles.

Daria Skutecka




10 Flower-Themed Activities for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a season not only for love and romance but also for a wide range of activities for kids and adults. Aside from valentine’s day flower bouquet, romantic dates and get-together, everyone will surely enjoy fun activities to celebrate the day of hearts. On the other hand, it is not only a time for hearts. It is also a time for beautiful flowers. If you are planning an interesting and engaging activity for everyone, here are 10 flower themed activities that you can do on Valentine’s Day:

1. Lollipop Flowers

Paper flowers can be an easy craft to do. If this is an activity for preschoolers in school, the teacher may provide paper flowers already cut in shape to avoid kids from using sharp scissors. The paper flowers can be added with a piece of lollipop in the center.

If you want the flowers to emphasize the Valentine’s Day celebration, you may choose to use heart-shaped papers as the petals of the flowers and attach them accordingly to the stick of the lollipop to create a lovely flower.

2. Flower-filled Hearts

Heart-shaped containers made from paper or plastic can be hanged on ceiling, windows, or wall. To make it look more festive, fill each heart-shaped container with colorful flower papers. You can have those flowers in different sizes, shapes, and colors for added attractiveness. This activity can be done by kids and adults as part of their Valentine’s Day activities at home, school, or in places or venues they choose.

3. Cupcake Flowers

Cupcakes are one of the activities that kids, and even adults, love to do. For Valentine’s Day, you can make this activity more interesting by simply baking the cupcakes in flower shapes or design them with icing in flower shapes. You can use icing in colors of Valentine’s Day or sprinkle the icing with heart-shaped mini candies.

4. Flower Paper Bouquet

There are so many materials at home that can be used to create a bouquet of flower paper. Used egg cartons can be cut to form flowers and arrange in a bouquet. You can also have them painted or colored with the colors of Valentine’s Day for added attractiveness and style.

Tissue papers, colored papers, and art papers can also be used for this activity. If you have coffee filters, muffin layers, or cotton balls at home, you can also use them for the activity. Kids and adults will surely enjoy this activity for the celebration of Valentine’s Day.

5. Flower and Heart Garland

A garland accentuated with flowers and hearts is a perfect decorative item to do for Valentine’s Day activity. Using hard papers or other forms of papers you may cut them out in heart and flower shapes for the garlands. These garlands are nice to hang on windows and walls for the celebration of Valentine’s Day.

6. Valentine’s Day Cards

Another activity to do in time for the Valentine’s Day celebration is the Valentines card. Instead of the ordinary rectangle shaped cards, you can have a flower shaped card this time. Hard papers cut in flower shapes are nice for this fun activity. If you intend it for preschool activity, it is best to have the papers already cut in flower shapes for safety reasons.

Even adults will enjoy doing this activity. They can have the flower cards in different sizes. Each card can be written with Valentine’s Day messages and greetings or have them paste the cards with hearts and images.

7. Artificial Flowers

Flowers made from ribbons, laces, or silk cloths can be arranged to create a romantic bouquet. There are silk flowers to find in the flower shops or department stores, but you can always choose to craft your own artificial flowers.

Ribbons and laces are also an ideal option for the materials in creating artificial flowers. When artificial flowers are arranged in a glamorous bouquet, it can be a lovely gift for someone special. Kids and adults are sure to have fun creating and arranging the artificial flowers for Valentine’s Day bouquet.

8. Wall of Flowers

Fill the wall with flowers on Valentine’s Day and use the wall as backdrop for picture taking. You can use a wide range of flower varieties from Roses to Tulips, Sunflowers, Carnations, Orchids, and Lilies. If you can’t buy freshly cut flowers, you have the option to use silk and artificial flowers. Paper flowers are a great idea, too.

9. Flower-themed Valentine’s Day Treats

Homemade biscuits, tarts, and cupcakes in flower shape are an ideal activity to do with kids or with adults for the Valentine’s Day celebration. If you have the place and baking supplies and tools to use for this activity, it will be a fun activity that everyone would want to participate.

10. Wreath of Flowers

Form a wreath using flowers. Whether you want Roses or any other types of romantic flowers, you can easily create a flower wreath that you can hang at home, in the office, or in school. Paper flowers and artificial flowers can also be used for the wreath if you want the wreath to last for a long time.

These simple but fun and engaging activities for Valentine’s Day are a great way to enjoy the love month. Kids and adults are sure to have fun doing each of these activities. Aside from teachers of preschoolers and elementary students, parents may also find these activities useful in teaching kids to on how to be creative.




12 Great Reasons Why You Should Be Naked More Often

benefits-of-being-nude

By Carissa Chesanek | The Talko

As women, we are so scared to be naked. Most of us loathe looking in the mirror because all we see are the things we hate: stretch marks, cellulite, bloated tummy. With all these imperfections, how can we possibly feel good about being naked? Especially in front of someone else? Well, it’s easy. Get naked and stay naked. Once we see what is in front of us, we can be on our way to appreciate what we have: a gorgeous, healthy body that is capable of anything. And that’s just one of the many benefits of being naked more. There are so many other reasons why stripping down to your birthday suit is a total must. If you are looking for an instant way to feel better about yourself and your body, check out these 12 reasons why you will want to get naked now – and stay naked.

Related Article: Be Free: 10 Places You Can Be Naked In Public and Blend Right In

12) Appreciate The Real You

When you’re naked, you see all of you. There are no clothes to cover up those imperfections you dwell on, or towel to shy you away from the mirror. Great! Take a good look and get to know the real you. All of you. Not just the you that looks good stuffed in those skinny jeans – even though, you do look good in those jeans. Embrace your entire body and appreciate it for what it does for you every day. Appreciate your flaws and imperfections that make you who you are. No one is perfect and no one has a perfect figure. When you get to know who you are and start to appreciate it, you will be able to get over that annoying stigma that a woman is supposed to look like a Barbie doll.

11) It’s Fun

Come on, being naked is so much more fun than wearing clothes! Your clothes can irritate your skin or get stuck in annoying places (camel toe anyone?). When you are naked, you don’t have to worry about any clothes getting in the way. And there is something sort of intoxicating about being naked. It’s so freeing, especially once you begin feeling more comfortable in your own skin. Walking around in the nude allows you to feel anything and everything, too. A sudden breeze near the window, the heat from the stove ( just don’t get too close) and the cold from the freezer. Give it a try and see how fun it is!

10) Swimming Naked Is Better

Sure, we know you have a ton of adorable bikinis you love sporting on the beach, but nothing beats your birthday suit. Okay, so maybe you won’t be doing this during the day on a public, non-nudist beach, but you might want to do at night with that someone special, or in your own pool hidden behind a fence so your neighbors don’t see (even if the thought of them peeking is kind of sexy). Skinny dipping is awesome because you feel completely free in the water and it just feels downright delicious swimming around in the nude.

Related Article: Is Being Naked Better For You?

9) It’s Healthy

Do you know it’s actually healthier to be nude? Well, it is. When your skin is exposed it actually helps fight off some fatty tissue which can help lose weight and stay healthy. Kind of cool, right? Your skin can also get irritated by wearing clothes. During those cold winter months, we are all bundled up and covering our skin from head-to-toe which can cause some serious irritation. Wool and heavy fabrics can make your skin itchy and dry, which is anything but healthy. So strip down, slather on the lotion and begin feeling the benefits of being naked.

8) No Tan Lines

Sunbathing in the nude is so much better than doing it in a bikini, because there are no tan lines, to worry about. But that’s not all. While no tan lines are great, there are other stellar benefits to soaking up the sun when you’re naked. One being able to get more vitamin D, which is what most of us lack especially in the winter months. This added vitamin D will actually help boost your immune system, keeping you healthier and happier as it’s proven to help your mood. Just remember when you are out in the sun to be sure to use plenty of sunblocks. You don’t want to burn those lady parts.

7) Feel Better In Clothes

If you feel good naked, there’s no way you won’t feel amazing in clothes. Once you are comfortable with your body, you will be able to choose the right clothes that actually fit your body type. Instead of shying away from showing off your curves with baggy clothes, you’ll want to show off your shape with items that fit your body, making you feel sexy and confident. Here are the thing ladies, it’s not the clothes that make us, it’s the way we feel about ourselves that make us who we are. These clothes simply help accentuate our shape and the way we feel about it.

Related Article: 5 Surprising Ways Sleeping Naked Can Benefit You

6) You Can Do The Deed Without Worrying About Your Body

As women, so many of us worry about how our body looks when we are having sex. Instead of just enjoying the moment (which we should be doing!), we are worrying about how our bodies look to the other person. What are they thinking? Do they think my thighs are too big? Are my breasts too saggy? We’re constantly wondering what others think because we are so hard on ourselves and see so many flaws. When you are comfortable being naked in front of yourself, you’ll be comfortable being naked in front of others. This will result in much better sex because you won’t be worrying about anything but giving and receiving another orgasm.

READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE…




Good Morning Messages For Your Loved One

Many of us are wondering: “How to start the day for it to be successful and pass in a positive way?” A cup of coffee, of course, will cheer up anyone, but will not motivate luck and success. But the morning message with the wishes of a good, successful day can play a decisive role. After all, short texts with good morning are not just ordinary messages, they carry a positive charge of energy and a lot of emotions. Getting such a “surprise” in the morning, we want to move mountains and share a great mood with others.

You can send a beautiful text with a good morning to your loved one, no doubt this will make the world more beautiful for them. It is difficult to surprise someone with such a message in the modern world of constant online communication. But if a wish is written from the heart, you added a funny picture or a meme, beautiful romantic wishes or a few horny phrases, it will affect the soul, make you think about the deep strong feeling that the person who sent it experiences. Sometimes you can add a few words about how you appreciate the person you are with, offer your help (for example if you date a single mom), and just tell your other half how stunning they are once again.

Here are some examples of romantic texts that will make your partner’s day!

  • Good morning :). I am so proud of who you have become and how hard you work for us. I love you, baby.
  • Maybe in a past life, you were a coffee bean? Because I cannot start my day without you.
  • Happy thoughts are the best medicine on Monday morning, and I am always happy when I think of you!
  • This is a simple little morning note to say that I love, love, love you!
  • Good morning, sweet pie! I can’t wait for the evening to come and we will be together again.
  • Let’s cancel those mornings when I do not wake up in your arms. I miss you all morning!
  • Fun fact: You’re the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning. I just wanted to say that I love you!
  • Good morning, Sunshine! I wish you a great day and thoughts about me!
  • Here is the news! The hottest person in the world has just woken up!
  • My pillow is definitely jealous because it knows that I sleep better on you.
  • Hey, good morning sweetie! *And a picture of your smiling face *

Sexy and flirty morning texts

Undoubtedly, you want your partner to be fascinated by the beauty of your inner world, but adding a little sexuality to your communication will never hurt. What do you think about the following messages?

  • Good morning, handsome, dreamed of me tonight?
  • Tell me what you saw last night, and I will tell you my fantasies …
  • Hi, sexy! Text me back when you are in the shower, and we will take it together.
  • Good morning, handsome! *Attach your photo in bed *
  • I had the dirtiest dream about you last night…
  • Good morning, superstar. I would like to wake up and snuggle up to you. The only thing that warms me is that we always have tonight.
  • Good morning, gorgeous! It was a pity not to be in your arms. If it were the other way around, what would you like me to do with you?

No need to skimp on good words, write beautiful wishes to your soulmate in prose or poetry. Perhaps such an unplanned manifestation of feelings in prose will become an occasion to arrange a date.

  • It’s morning already. It’s time to wake up, my love! Great things await you today – work, meeting with friends, and, most importantly, a meeting with me.
  • My favorite! Morning has already come, which means that our love today has become one day older and stronger! Wish you a good day, dear!
  • Good morning is only after those nights that I spend in your arms. I hope that my every morning will be good and I wish you the same, dear!
  • My love, I hasten to inform you that today you ought to have a good morning, a good day and a promising evening …
  • I woke up and realized I was missing something! Then I remembered. It turned out I’m terribly missing you!
  • Good morning baby, with you a happy day! I will try not to miss you very much.
  • Life is too short to wake up in a bad mood! My darling, smile at the new day and everything will be fine!
  • Good morning, my beloved! I love you!
  • My favorite! Wake up soon! A wonderful new day awaits you with its incredible adventures, great luck, and new emotions! Smile, my dear, and feel that positive vibe!
  • Wishing you the most lovely day! *Attach your photo sending an air kiss*

Even while married, do not forget to give positive emotions to each other. After all, a warm attitude, as well as respect, will only strengthen your union. Do not hesitate; your second half will always be glad to receive a little cute notification about how much you love them. A positive attitude in the morning from reading pleasant words will certainly set them up for success. Always keep in touch and exchange compliments not to lose your romantic connection.




Do Married People Have More or Less Stress? The Answer from This Study May Surprise You!

By April McCarthy | Prevent Disease

Many studies have suggested that married people are healthier than those who are single, divorced, widowed and even cohabiting. Now a new Carnegie Mellon University study provides the first biological evidence to explain how marriage impacts health.

Published in Psychoneuroendocrinology, the researchers found that married individuals had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol than those who never married or were previously married. These findings support the belief that unmarried people face more psychological stress than married individuals. Prolonged stress is associated with increased levels of cortisol which can interfere with the body’s ability to regulate inflammation, which in turn promotes the development and progression of many diseases.

When it comes to cardiovascular risk, marriages have been proven to offer considerable benefits according to a large population-based studies.

“It’s is exciting to discover a physiological pathway that may explain how relationships influence health and disease,” said Brian Chin, a Ph.D. student in the Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences’ Department of Psychology.

Over three non-consecutive days, the researchers collected saliva samples from 572 healthy adults aged 21-55. Multiple samples were taken during each 24-hour period and tested for cortisol.

Exactly how marriage works its magic remains mysterious. Perhaps a strong personal relationship improves mental health and helps the individual to ward off physical illness. More research here is certainly needed.

The results showed that the married participants had lower cortisol levels than the never married or previously married people across the three day period. The researchers also compared each person’s daily cortisol rhythm — typically, cortisol levels peak when a person wakes up and decline during the day. Those who were married showed a faster decline, a pattern that has been associated with less heart disease, and longer survival among cancer patients.

“These data provide important insight into the way in which our intimate social relationships can get under the skin to influence our health,” said laboratory director and co-author Sheldon Cohen, the Robert E. Doherty University Professor of Psychology.

CMU’s Michael L.M. Murphy and the University of Pittsburgh’s Denise Janicki-Deverts were also part of the research team.

Read more great articles at Prevent Disease.




Why We Fall In Love (Touching Video)

Source: Shots of Awe

Jason Silva describes why we fall in love in his unique and entertaining way along with stunning visuals.




Keeping the Passion Alive In a Romantic Relationship: How To Breathe Life Into Your Relationship

Passion is everything in a romantic relationship. It is just as important as the air that you breathe or the food that you eat. Without passion, you cannot reach your true intimate potential. Passion is necessary to begin a romantic relationship, but it is also necessary to ensure the success of a long-term relationship. After familiarity and comfort become the norm, passion tends to fade away. You and your partner have nothing to talk about, you rarely disagree, and you are not excited about one another like you used to be. The good news is that love can be sustained and even deepened. These are the things you can do to bring back the passion into your relationship.

Recreate your first date

The first date tells you everything you need to know about how a person will be in a long-term relationship. It is true that first dates can have a lot of tension, but they are great because they can arise complicated emotions. After the first date with your significant other, the world is spinning. You are so excited that you cannot believe what is happening. If the first encounter was not awkward or uncomfortable, you should recreate it. Recall the butterflies in your stomach and the first nervous chatter. When you are recreating the first date, you are reliving a time when you were happy, a magical time. Where did you meet your partner for the first time? Where did you go? What did you do? Reminisce about the simpler times, memorable moments, and see how far you have come over the years. If you can get back to that magic place, your relationship is sure to succeed.

Have a feelings talk every day

Maybe you and your other half do not talk about your feelings as much as you should. Even if you do not want to talk about what is on your mind, you owe it to your partner. They want you to open up to them. Your significant other wants to know how you feel about them and your relationship. Deep conversations are necessary between the two of you. They hold you together and create intimacy in the relationship. Have a 10-minute talk every day about your feelings and emotions. During this time, you can focus on each other’s inner experiences. Limit your comments to clear and short sentences. Thank your partner for caring enough to listen to you, not to mention supporting you.

Try something new in the bedroom

If you want your sex life to be more adventurous, try something new. Try different kinds of sex toys. Do not shy away from introducing sex toys into your sexual activities. It will positively impact your relationship. Couples who explore new ways of being intimate are more likely to do better when it comes down to maintaining passion and desire. If you have never used a sex toy with your partner, try a dildo. It is really fun and exciting to be penetrated with a dildo. A dildo is more realistic compared to a vibrator, which is motorized and not at all flexible. Bringing dildos into the bedroom can improve your sex life, hard as it may be to believe. They can be used in foreplay, but it is fun to experiment using dildos in different positions.  Keep in mind that there are various sex toys out there. Try something new. It will feel great.

Hit the road

Leave everything behind and go on a trip with your significant other. Impromptu road trips are easier than ever. As long as you have a car, it is not impossible. Travelling is one of the best ways to bring the spark back into the relationship. Traveling can be thrilling, especially if you are going to a new and exotic place. You have the chance to break up the routine and live an amorous adventure. Being on the road with your other half can be at the same time romantic, fun, and spontaneous. To keep the passion alive throughout the travel, do not skip out on the dates. You do not want to do the same thing over and over again. Enjoy your time together. Get in the car without knowing where you are heading to and bring food along for a picnic.

Tell your partner they are attractive

Partners need constant reassurance in a relationship. This means being told that they are still attractive. If you do not compliment your significant other, it is unreasonable to expect them to feel wanted and appreciated. Give them a heads up with what they find as insecurities. If there is a certain body part that your partner does not like in particular, draw attention to that. For instance, if your significant other does not like their belly, say that it is cute. The other person needs to know that you love every part of their body, even if they think it is not perfect. Words can go a long way in reminding us about what is important. Let your other half know that you are just as attracted to them as you were in the beginning. Yes, this means flirting with them and having playful conversation.

Spend some time apart

Time spend together is a must, but you should not overdo it. Give your significant other the chance to miss you. It is easier to appreciate someone when they are not constantly around. Too much time together can be suffocating. The relationship will benefit from time spent apart. Meet up with your friends more often or take up a hobby. Spending time apart is a good thing, as it allows you to judge things more objectively. Take care of yourself for a chance. It will be a pleasure. Practice an activity that your normally do with others. When you see your friends, you will have what to talk about. Taking time for yourself is anything but selfish. Periods of solitude allow you to be a better person and the relationship will only have to benefit




You Are Not “Too Much” to Be Loved

Image Credit: Tiny Buddha

By Hailey Magee | Tiny Buddha

“If you always feel like you’re too much or too little, maybe you’re adding yourself to the wrong recipe.” ~Sophia Joan Short

There is an art to shrinking yourself.

As a young girl, I was painfully earnest. I hadn’t learned the craft of nonchalance that was as much a requirement for being liked as name-brand clothes and Livestrong wristbands. One day, as I chattered excitedly on the school bus home, my seat-mate scolded me: “Hailey. Calm down. You’re so annoying.”

This is how I learned that my enthusiasm made me unlikable.

At home, short tempers led to angry arguments. After conflicts, my dad would withdraw his love in a stormy silent treatment⁠ until I cleared the air—or until we both agreed to pretend that nothing ever happened. I learned the art of walking on eggshells. When I was fifteen, Dad and I got into an argument and didn’t speak for days. We orbited around each other like silent planets in a lonely solar system.

This is how I learned that my anger made me unlovable.

Years later, my first adult relationship began to unravel. I felt the pain of our withering love acutely. My then-partner withdrew further into himself with every argument, every tear, every dissonance. The more I tried to repair our broken love, the more distant he became.

This is how I learned that my needs would push away the people I loved the most.

Where did you learn that you were too much?

Were you bullied at school? Mistreated at home?

Did your caregivers say you were too loud, too energetic, too difficult? Did they neglect your interests, deny your feelings, or punish your anger?

Did your lovers withdraw their affection when you expressed your true feelings? Did they balk at your trauma? Did they hold you at arms’ length?

These experiences leave us with a resounding mantra:

I am too much. 
I am too much. 
I am too much.

But you are not. Here’s why.

The Beauty of “Too Much”

Those of us who give ourselves permission to feel deeply give ourselves the gift of fully participating in this world.

We embrace the vast palette of emotion that living demands. We experience the valleys of loss, the black pain of grief, and the jagged edges of trauma. We also experience the searing catharsis of inspiration, the rich colors of joy, and the deep, calm ocean of love.

Because we feel so richly, our hearts are calm harbors where others’ pain can seek refuge. We are empathetic and expansive, and when we say, “I hear you, I’ve been there,” we really mean it.

We do the hard labor of living, of feeling, every day. We have built within ourselves a powerful infrastructure for empathizing, connecting, and relating. This gives us a profound capacity to connect with others —others who are capable of meeting us there.

It’s Not About You

Every time someone implies that you are “too much,” they express their own limitations.

Emotional intensity scares those who have never learned to access their own emotions. If they don’t know how to feel their own pain, sadness, or joy, they will be incapable of handling it in others.

What they say is:

  • “You’re being too dramatic.”
  • “Do we always need to talk about our feelings?”
  • “Everything’s fine. Why are you so upset?”
  • “I can’t do this.”

What they are really saying is:

  • “I am afraid of your pain because I do not allow myself to feel my own.”
  • “I am afraid of your vulnerability because I never learned how to be vulnerable.”
  • “I do not have the tools to handle conflict, so I will avoid it.”
  • “I am afraid of failing because I don’t know how to take care of you.”

 

 

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Can a Happier Spouse Help You Live Longer?

By Jill Suttie | Greater Good Magazine

My husband Don is generally a pretty cheerful guy. He has a great network of friends, takes good care of himself, and does work that is meaningful to him.

Certainly, Don’s happy disposition is a boon for me, as his happiness makes our relationship run more smoothly. But could it have any impact on my health—perhaps even extending my life? A new study by Olga Stavrova of Tilburg University in the Netherlands looked at that very question.

Stavrova analyzed data on over 4,300 couples from the Health and Retirement Study at the University of Michigan, an ongoing project studying adults ages 50 and older. She specifically wanted to understand the relationship between a spouse’s life satisfaction at one point in time and their partner’s survival over the eight years that followed from that point. This was a little tricky to figure out, as there are so many factors to consider when looking at longevity—for example, age, ethnicity, or race; socioeconomic status (SES); the baseline health (of both partners); and more. Stavrova statistically controlled for these other factors to see if a partner’s happiness affected one’s longevity above and beyond them.

Her findings were pretty remarkable: When a person’s partner was significantly happier—in science-speak, one standard deviation higher than average in life satisfaction—that person had a 13 percent lower chance of dying within the eight-year period. This was true regardless of the person’s age, ethnicity, SES, or health when their partner’s happiness was measured.

Though I was surprised by this finding, Stavrova wasn’t.

“Previous research has already shown that well-being in one spouse is associated with positive health outcomes in the other one,” she says. “So, this study extends these findings to mortality.”

As expected, a person’s own happiness was also tied to their mortality—for every one standard deviation higher, the person had an 18 percent lower chance of dying. But, when Stavrova considered how healthy either member of the couple was at the beginning of the study, and whether or not a person’s partner died during the eight-year window, being happy didn’t affect a person’s longevity while having a happy partner still did.

This suggests that a spouse’s happiness could be even more relevant than one’s own—it may be what keeps us alive longer. “In other words, the association between one’s life satisfaction and one’s mortality might be ‘explained away’ by confounding with having poor health initially (at least, in this dataset), while the association between one’s partner life satisfaction and one’s mortality cannot,” says Stavrova.

How could this possibly be? Stavrova considered one explanation. Some research suggests that feeling supported socially is an important factor in staying healthier longer, and she thought happier partners might offer more support to their significant other. But the data she had didn’t support that hypothesis.

However, Stavrova did find evidence for another explanation: A happier partner tended to exercise more, which was tied to a person’s own willingness to exercise more. And since more exercise is tied to greater longevity, it’s possible that this social influence around exercising is what’s making the difference.

Still, it’s impossible to know that for sure, says Stavrova, since exercise patterns in both partners were measured simultaneously. It could be the opposite—that when you exercise more, your partner is happier. Plus, there could be other reasons for the findings: Maybe a happy person eats healthier food or makes more time for social activities, which could indirectly affect their partner’s longevity, as these activities tend to be shared within couples.

So, can we say anything for sure? Yes, says Stavrova: Our partner’s life satisfaction affects our own longevity, even if we aren’t well, to begin with.

Does this imply that we should leave an unhappy spouse for fear of putting ourselves into an early grave? Though Stavrova fears people might interpret her findings that way, she insists it’s the wrong approach. Instead, she says, it may only mean that doctors and others should widen their view when considering patient health and consider the role partner happiness may play in healing. “A more humane implication is that healthy lifestyle recommendations should target couples (or households) rather than individuals,” she says.

In other words, if we want to be happier and live longer, we might want to focus on not just our own well-being, but that of our partner, too. Encouraging them to have healthy social relationships, exercise regularly, and engage in meaningful activities could lead to greater longevity for them and for you.

Luckily for me, Don is already there.

About the Author
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Jill Suttie

Jill Suttie, Psy.D., is Greater Good’s book review editor and a frequent contributor to the magazine.

Read more great articles at Greater Good Magazine




What To Do When Your Daughter Starts Dating

Raising kids is often a scary experience. It is a joyous and wonderful undertaking, but it is definitely not without its challenges. One of the biggest challenges is managing their transition from children to adults, part of which involves helping them navigate their first real romantic relationship.

If your daughter has just started dating and is at or approaching an age where her relationship might turn serious, it is important that she has your support. Below are some vital survival tips to help you both make it through.

Keep Things In Perspective

Whenever our children start dating, it can be both a proud and scary time for parents. It is only natural for parents to be more concerned about their daughters dating than their sons. We’re not saying that young women can’t look after themselves, nor that the men they date are to automatically be treated with suspicion, but it is an inescapable fact of biology that women can fall pregnant and that men are generally stronger. It is also true, albeit a sad indictment of our society, that men are more likely to be controlling or violent towards their partners.

Thankfully, most men are not abusers and most sensible young couples will be able to avoid pregnancy in spite of their intimacy. But every parent should be aware of the risks and should remain mindful of their child’s safety and wellbeing. If you are prone to overthinking things and worrying excessively, your daughter’s first serious relationship will give you plenty to overthink and worry about, but it is important that you keep these concerns, valid as they may be, in check.

Being aware of the issues that your daughter will be facing will help you to communicate with her and steer her through the sometimes choppy waters of her first relationship. But if you are allowing yourself to be freaked out and scared by her dating, your fears and anxieties will rub off on her and can exacerbate her own insecurities. It is important that you are keeping things in perspective and not letting your worst fears rule your emotions.

If this is your daughter’s first proper relationship, then she will likely have a number of fears and doubts all of her own. If you are not able to keep things in perspective and paint a realistic picture of the potential pitfalls of a relationship, then your daughter will find it difficult to keep her own perspective in check. Without her own relationship experience to look back on, your daughter will most likely look to you and your partner, if you are still together, for cues on how to behave. Make sure that whenever she looks to you for guidance, she sees a respectful, reasonable, and thoughtful parent who has a handle on the situation.

Be Approachable And Trustworthy

Most of us can remember our first relationships. Some children grow up being very close to their parents emotionally, and these people sharing their feelings regarding their relationship comes naturally. However, many of us will have wanted our parents to stay as far away from their relationships as possible. We can all remember what it’s like to be young and in love, when it first happens, it can be a somewhat overwhelming experience.

You know your daughter better than anyone and so it will be up to your judgment to decide whether she will want you to be heavily involved or not. Regardless of how she feels or professes to feel, you should make sure that you are always approachable and that she knows that she can trust you if she does have any concerns or questions to ask.

One of the more difficult aspects of this for a parent to get right is working out exactly how involved they should try and be. If your daughter is clearly uncomfortable whenever you ask questions about her relationship, you should ease into things and not push her to open up before she is ready. Instead of trying to force the issue and encourage your daughter to speak to you even if she isn’t comfortable, it is much more effective to ensure that she knows you are available if and when she does want to open up to you.

When it comes to first relationships, many young people will turn to the parent of the same gender for advice. However, this is not the case for everyone. Some families are short one parent, and in others, it may be that the daughter feels more comfortable talking to her father about her relationship than her mother.

If your daughter has a clear preference for either you or your partner when it comes to discussing her relationship you should respect her wishes. Above all else, do not take it personally if your daughter seems to prefer talking to your partner instead of you. The main thing is that she has someone to talk to that she feels she can trust.

Take An Interest In Their Partner (And Subtly Check Them Out)

It is only natural for parents to be curious about their child’s romantic partners. However, not all parents are very good at striking the right balance here. There is a right way and a wrong way to go about taking an interest in your daughter’s partner. What you don’t want to do is come across as an overbearing parent who does not trust their daughter to make sensible decisions. You may well disapprove of the person that she chooses to date, but you can still respect that person and respect her decision to be involved with them romantically.

If you do have concerns about her partner and you want to do some digging to check up on them, you should try and do this in as subtle a way as possible. A glance at their social media profiles should give you an overview of what they are like as a person, and if there are red flags to be discovered, this is where they are likely to be thrown up.

When you still aren’t satisfied with the information that you find, you can use a service like publicrecordsreviews.com to find out more about them. The website contains publicly-available records, including criminal records and arrest records, you can search their database for anyone you want to check out. You can also use these records to verify their family background. For example, if your daughter’s boyfriend is adamant that his parents are deceased and that’s why you can’t meet them, you might want to search for obituary records to make sure, which can be done through the following link – https://www.publicrecordsreviews.com/obituary-records.

If you are suspicious about their partner or their story, it is a good idea to dig a little deeper, but you should not make it too obvious that this is what you are doing. If your daughter thinks that you are checking up on her and her partner behind her back, it will diminish that all-important sense of trust between you both.

Discuss PDA With Them

It’s 2020, and public displays of affection are not the taboo that they once were. However, as anyone who has had to share public transport with canoodling teenagers can attest to, there is such a thing as being too comfortable with one another.

You don’t want your daughter to feel ashamed of her partner or unable to express herself, but you also need to make sure that she understands what is and is not appropriate when in public. If you feel like your daughter and her partner are overdoing it with their public displays of affection, it can be a difficult subject to broach with them.

Learning about physical intimacy is an important part of early relationships. Physical intimacy does not begin with sexual intercourse, most of us have years, in some cases decades, of hand-holding and light petting to get through first. It is important that your daughter knows what she is comfortable with and where her limits lie. If your daughter has expressed concerns about the speed at which her relationship is moving, encouraging her to rethink her approach to PDAs can help her and her partner to understand and respect one another’s boundaries better.

Be Open And Honest About Sex And Sexual Health

When it comes to daughters, some parents have an unhealthy fear of her ever having sex. Of course, not only is it inevitable that at your daughter will one day have sex, but it is also so very unlikely that she will be seeking your permission beforehand. Instead of trying to win an unwinnable battle and maintain an archaic sense of purity, it is much better to be open and honest about sex and sexual health so that your daughter feels comfortable approaching you when the time comes.

If she is not comfortable talking to you about these subjects, don’t take it personally. Instead, make sure that she knows that you are there for her and that you only want what is best for her.

It is also important that your daughter understands the importance of condoms, especially if she is at an age where sexual encounters are likely. Some parents feel uneasy or flat-out appalled at the thought of providing their daughter with condoms, thinking that this is going to encourage her to have sex. On the contrary, all a condom will do is ensure that if she does have sex, pregnancy and STIs will not be on the menu.

You can’t stop your children from growing up, nor can you expect them to remain children forever. Of course, how old your daughter is when she starts dating will affect the approach that you take to the situation. But regardless of your daughter’s age, you should aim to let her know that you are always there for her and always on her side as soon as possible. As long as you remain respectful and approachable, the entry of your daughter into the dating world is nothing to be afraid of.




What to Do When Your Partner Won’t Work on Your Relationship

worried couple-compressed

By Sandra Cooper | Tiny Buddha

It takes two to manage the relationship, but it takes one to begin the change.” ~Sheri E. Ragland

So, your significant other doesn’t understand you. In fact, you’re not even sure if they hear you. Despite trying to talk about things or take a break from each other, you end up arguing about the same thing over and over again.

You try this and you try that. You back away, you move in. You break up, you get back together. You try everything you can think of, and nothing is working, but you don’t want to end the relationship.

You finally realize that no matter what you two do, you eventually find your way back to the same conflict, repeating the same dance again and again and again. Nothing seems to ever change.

So, you get excited when you finally figure out what you need to do—couples counseling! Relief floods you, confident now that couples counseling will save this relationship! And so, you announce to your other half, “We need couples counseling.”

But alas, like a punch to your gut, your partner has no interest in couples counseling and refuses to go. Barely able to breathe, you know your relationship is really at an impasse and you are hopeless to know how to fix it. It is certainly doomed if you don’t get the counseling you both need.

I know the feeling. In fact, my car was packed at least once, and I was sure I was finally going to leave.

Thank goodness I didn’t.

Did you ever hear the old adage, “I married my mother” or “I married my father”? There is truth to this statement. Despite our inability to recognize it, we do often marry or partner with someone like our mother or our father.

And I am going to tell you why.

First and foremost, it’s familiar. We’re attracted to what we know. Secondly and most importantly, we marry or partner with someone like our mother or our father in an unconscious attempt at resolving old conflicts and feelings left over from those original and significant early relationships.

Read that again: We marry or partner with someone like our mother or our father in an unconscious attempt at resolving old conflicts and feelings left over from those original and significant early relationships.

That’s a lot to mull over, for sure.

Never underestimate the impact your childhood experience had on your life. Never underestimate the impact your relationship or lack thereof, with your mother and father had on your life. Even absent parents can have an immeasurable impact.

They were the mirror through which you learned to see yourself. If more often than not, you had a positive, encouraging, supportive mirror, you likely grew up with healthy self-esteem. If that mirror was more often than not, judgmental, critical, unsupportive, or disinterested, then your self-worth is likely at the lower end of healthy.

Think about it. Those relationships, or lack of, sent you multitudes of unspoken messages.

The question is: What are the messages you took in and how are they affecting your current relationship?

I grew up in a male-dominated household and religion. It was not until I was an adult that I recognized that I believed men were more important than women. No one ever said that to me, but that was how I interpreted the male-dominated environments that gave little to no voice to women.

As a result, I rarely spoke up, remaining hidden. I found myself in unhealthy and unsatisfying relationships where I allowed men to dominate me. I never fully showed up as a valuable and integral part of the relationship I was in.

This is one of the ways that our past follows us into the present, inviting us to grow and learn beyond what childhood taught us. Figuring out how to navigate our emotional world and our relationships is paramount to this process. Hence, a not so peaceful, sometimes antagonizing relationship with the one you love can be the invitation you need.

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Lessons to Light: How a Painful Past Can Create a Powerful Present

Image result for learn from the pastI think it’s pretty common to grow up in our society with guilt and shame as heavy motivators for doing things in our lives. Whether it’s cultural traditions and/or religious customs passed down from our parents or peer pressure from the media to conform to a set of ideas and beliefs to what you should look like, act like, talk like, etc. at certain stages of your life, fear-driven “encouragement” appears to be the norm.

So…what’s up with that? Well, I think much of it has to do with what I love to call “human amnesia”. Upon incarnation, we literally (well, most of us anyway) forget who we really are and what the hell we really came here to do. And for those “in the know” the temptation to manipulate, confuse, etc. those who are unaware has become quite prevalent all over the world. As the saying goes, “Knowledge is power”, however, it’s not the power that’s necessarily the problem here, but rather the intention, the initial reason behind wanting the power in the first place that changes everything.

For those who do recall what this fiasco of life is all about and remember their life plans, and that we’re here to learn, apply what we learn to expand and grow and to embody our personal truth to the best of our ability as that resonance, that literal frequency is what connects us all; the sound of knowing who you are literally “rings truth” and we ALL hear it, even if it is on a subconscious level that we may not initially be aware of.

And that is what separates those who have found their own power, or rather never forgot they had it in the first place from those who have no clue how powerful they even are. There are those who will be quick to convince us that we are weak and need to be ruled and governed and cannot make decisions for ourselves. This way of thinking is prevalent throughout our educational system and religious institutions.

Image result for learn from the past

We punish any children that may question authority and label them as “rebels” and we reward children for conforming to social norms and basically for sitting down and shutting up. And perhaps what makes me the angriest and sad at the same time is that we tend to measure intelligence by how much our children can remember and regurgitate random “facts” while we need to be looking deeper…at their talents, and their dreams and what they love to do. What makes them feel good and alive and start encouraging THAT!

Unfortunately, that is not common in our society and most of us adults are just big kids who are still hurting, confused and angry because we are not doing what we love to do and feel shorted in life. We may also feel guilty for how we feel and also pissed off because our feelings are yet again going invalidated. So, how do we stop this toxic cycle and break the chain of guilt and shame motivation?

I think it starts with changing our perspective on how we look at the past because if we can drop the labels of having to feel bad about things we’ve done and actually learn the process of healing through them (remorse, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, etc.), then we can allow the experiences to serve their purpose and let them play the important roles they were meant to in our lives. NOTHING is trivial and NOTHING happens on accident. EVERYTHING is as it should be and is in divine order.

Once we can tap into that frequency rather than always stuffing down things we feel shame and guilt over, we literally are folding time and space and creating closure. You will literally feel a shift in energy and lightness in your field, your body and ultimately your life. When we give ourselves the freedom to actually BE human and make the mistakes we were meant to come here to make, we begin to see the bigger picture and stop getting caught up in the drama that duality often affords us.

The more we accept and embody who we are we naturally allow others to do the same, and when we all feel like being ourselves is not only OK but “enough” we can all focus on being the best US we can be for the US! (Which is honestly the only way we can ever have anything to offer anyone else; when we are taking care of ourselves.)

There is a sense of rejuvenation in surrendering to not only what is, but what has been. It opens your eyes to the possibilities of all that can be and reminds you that it is always you who is telling your story, so you might as well make it worth sharing. It also reminds us that while shadows can be scary sometimes, just remember that they always “have your back” and if we just take the time to face them, they will always lead us to our light.

“If You Are Depressed, You Are Living in the Past. If You Are Anxious, You Are Living in the Future. If You Are at Peace, You Are Living in the Present.” – Lao Tzu

 

Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




Top Qualities You Should Look for in a Boyfriend

If you are sick and tired of meeting different guys on blind dates, it is a good sign that you are ready to be involved in a steady relationship. Finding the man of your dreams is not an easy process, so you should not feel pressured to find a boyfriend just because all of your friends are in a healthy and loving relationship. It is essential to screen your options and make a list of traits that you are looking for in a guy.

It is also important to take your time in getting to know each other by going on regular dates, so you know if both of you are on the same wavelength and understand each other. Here is a list of some qualities that can serve as a guideline when looking for a boyfriend that is worth spending your time and effort on.

Look for a guy that cares about good hygiene

Not all guys are particular about the way they look and smell in front of other people, including girls. Your ideal guy should be conscious of how he presents himself to other people. He should take a bath every day, dress neatly, and maintain fresh breath. If the guy that you happen to like sports a beard, he should be able to keep it clean as well. You can recommend him to check out beard grooming products from sites like http://missionbeard.com to make sure that his beard stays in excellent condition at all times.

He should be a man of his word

Look for a guy who sticks to his promises. This trait is hard to find nowadays because not all men have the same level of maturity as you might expect. You will only find out if the guy has integrity or not if you allow him to take you out on casual dates. This will be the perfect opportunity for you to observe if he is true to his word, or he is fond of making empty promises.

He should care about you and other people

It is important to look for a guy that cares about people deeply. He should understand your thoughts and dreams and make sure that you are able to achieve them. Aside from caring about you, it would also be great if he does the same for other people by helping them in times of need.

Treats other people with respect

Observe how a guy treats his mother and his friends. Does he treat them with enough love and respect? Is he kind and understanding towards them or the other way around? Remember that if a guy shows disrespect to others, there is a big possibility that he will do the same thing to you. So, you should check out his attitude before getting into a serious relationship with him.

Lastly, choose to be with a guy who has an ambition in life. Ask him about his dreams and aspirations and what his plans to achieve them are.

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