By Snigdha Bhattacharya
We are very much accustomed to the term “Argument.” We perceptively or accidentally get involved in some argument very often. The meaning of argument is fundamentally a sequence of statements intended to determine the degree of truth of another explanation.
Two people are said to be arguing when they get tangled in a heated exchange of opposite views or ultimately in a quarrel. An argument can be of many subjects; be it any religious matter, political topics, related to work philosophy and workplace and even for personal relationships and individual opinions.
In an argument both the parties involved in it try to prove the truthfulness of their part of statements. An argument is not only used to disapprove or oppose one person’s standpoint but can also be used to support other people’s viewpoints.
Whatever it may, an argument always led your brain to get angry. Once a person gets angry, the mind starts to release neurotransmitter chemicals and cause you to experience a rise in your energy level. A person should always try to avoid getting involved in any sort of argument, but one can’t escape the battlefield when engaging in it is the only option left.
I personally don’t like to get into any sort of argument, and on the other hand, I am kind of a person who can’t accept the defeat as well. If you can relate to yourself after reading this, then you must know how to win an argument without actually arguing.
1. Listen Carefully:
“If you make listening and observation of your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk.”
–Robert Baden-Powell
To know the facts and understand the pieces of evidence of your opposition you must be a good listener first. If the other person is talking about his/her point of view, you need to stay cool and listen to it very carefully. Most of the word-wars can be won just by looking to the opposition.
Let your silence provoke the other person to talk much and remember that whatever may be the topic, a person has a limited stock of knowledge. Thus, allow the person you are arguing with, to talk his/her heart out.
In the period in-between try to figure out the dodges of his/her statements, where you can poke your opinion with better pieces of evidence and facts.
2. Don't Lose Your Calm:
“The Two Most Powerful Warriors Are Patience and Time”
—Leo Tolstoy
Most of the people who get involved in an argument are tend to lose their temper very quickly. An angry person starts dropping control over facts and logical mind, and that is where the person takes a step ahead towards losing.
If you really want to win, command your mind to stay calm and organized till the end. Even if the other person is getting angry or using unfathomable facts, stay calm and try to figure out more points from his/her conversation where you think your opinion can play well. Let the other person talk completely rubbish facts and though you know that’s not correct don’t try to interrupt at all.
Many times, an angry opponent brings you a win-win situation just by being lugged into fury. You will get your turn soon. Wait for that and present your opinions in a lower pitch of the voice and with higher confidence.
3. Be Sure About Your Fact:
Be sure what you want and be confident about yourself.
—Adriana Lima
Don’t be the joker of an argument platform. If somehow you got involved in an argument, be very much sure about the topic and the facts you are aware of about the subject. If somehow you feel that you don’t have enough depth to dig into it, choose to stay away rather than finding yourself stood between groups of spectators making fun of you to be dumb. For the sake of supporting other’s opinion stay rigid about the reasons behind your support or agreement. Before starting an argument, you must know, in which pole you want yourself to be stand; in the support or in the opposition. Remember you can’t change reality by arguing. In either pole, you have chosen to stand for, don’t turn the base of your opinion, and try to present your view in an organized way.
4. Analyze Your Opponent:
To me, error analysis is the sweet spot for improvement.
—Donald Norman
Let the above quote work for you. Try to convert the error analysis of your opponent to be the sweet spot for your development. By analyzing your opponent, you will understand where the person is failing to construct his ideas and sentiments, and that is where you need to work for yourself.
By analyzing your opponent, you can realize that how your opponent reacts to individual circumstances and how to turn his/her reactions in your favor. Also, examine where and in which point your opposition fails to express his/her opinions adequately; either by being angry or being emotional.
The analysis will help you to adapt your way and tone of putting your opinion.
5. Ask Questions:
“Judge a man by his questions, rather than his answers.”
—Voltaire
Asking counter questions to your opponent can help you both the ways; by letting the person be tangled in his own viewpoint and by giving you more points to ask further questions.
A calm and collected mind can concentrate upon every little fact and as a person can’t be completely correct, it will give you more opportunity to interrogate. Your opponent can also feel offended once you start finding the loopholes in his/her own statements and due to an ego ache, there are more chances for the person to lose his/her control over emotions.
While listening carefully and waiting for your turn don’t forget to form questions or note down those questions if possible.
You are not going to win an Oscar by winning a mere argument, but you are always free to put your opinion in front of anyone. I prefer these tactics to win over people during an argument, and I am sure these are gonna work for you too.
Don’t involve in any such argument which you can resolve just by ignoring. Always remember not to hurt people by your words, even if you get that in return.
You can win any argument without arguing, by arguing with logic and not meagerly words.
About the Author:
Snigdha Bhattacharya is a psychotherapist, counselor and happiness coach. She loves to talk about mental health and wellness and she thinks that it is one of the most important factors to look at to have a blissful life. In the modern world where people are moving faster than the bullet trains, sanity and harmony are being left behind somewhere. Snigdha is a blogger who writes about lifestyle, psychology, mental health, and wellness. She is a poet and most of her poems are about life, love, and relationships.
