Twin Flame Relationships: When The Magic Hits the Fan

The notion of twin flames has been a source of fascination for a lot of people, including myself. Just the possibility of finding the person who can take us to the highest levels of ecstasy is very tempting and maybe the highest reward we can expect for going through earthly pains. I have been fortunate to have had two relationships that fit that description. They turned my life upside down and brought up all of my issues to the surface that have been laying dormant in the secret crevices of my psyche. Those relationships kicked my spiritual growth into high gear and I had to hang on tight. Really tight.

There is a misunderstanding about what the purpose of a twin flame is. For most of us, it evokes the perfect Hollywoodized image we all have been fed since the day we opened our eyes on this planet. We were born into this belief system. It’s hard to escape this illusion because of all the songs written about the pain of romantic love and the movies where lovers walk off into the sunset to live happily ever after. When we meet someone we have a deep, inseparable connection with, we expect to have a life filled with roses and rainbows. I am not saying that this is not true or possible. Instead, I would like to bring in a more expanded perspective that informs us hopeless romantics.

Twin flames represent the perfect yin-yang balance in both people. When they come together, it is usually a very challenging relationship full of emotional roller-coasters. The encounter can create havoc in one’s life. This happens because both people have more inner work to do to find the balance in their masculine and feminine energies the relationship calls for. The twin flame relationship highlights any unhealed issue in their psyche for this to happen. The emotional pain these relationships can bring up can sometimes be unbearable.

Here we experience duality in the truest sense: we feel the highs and the lows simultaneously or interchangeably. Positive emotions- such as passion of the highest kind (‘epic sex’) and joy that seems to come exploding out of our hearts that feels unbound and limitless. If we are still green in our spiritual and personal development, even the good feelings are very difficult to contain. These feelings are real but they come with a price. That price is the inner clearing that must take place for us to be able to handle a relationship such as this. It is very likely for people to fall into deep depression and even become suicidal by the pain brought out by twin flame relationships.

Two people who experience this ecstasy along with the crazy-making emotional upheaval can have a hard time detaching from each other in order to do their inner work. Yet, being together makes it nearly impossible to work through what comes up due to the intensity of their togetherness. You can’t walk away. The highs are incredibly delicious. The lows are lower than one might have ever imagined hitting.

Addictions kick into high gear or new ones show up. You are unable to sit still and have a hard time continuing your old, comfortable life. Your performance at work might drop considerably, you may find it hard to eat or sleep. You may start a desperately focused search for healers and even psychics who might be able to help you understand what’s going on and guide you through this mysterious upheaval. It is as if you had been hit by a meteor and conventional healing methods (such as psychotherapy) don’t help. In fact, you know not to reach out to that option because your gut tells you that what you are experiencing is beyond the scope of psychology. The hardest and the most unromantic aspect of a twin flame relationship is finding practitioners and healers who know how to help these lovers navigate the rough waters of this ecstatic, shadow-revealing, ego-crumbling connection. This only fuels the ‘hell on earth’ experience you have no control over.

Maybe you had not been on a spiritual path before or had been slowly awakening but was just lollygagging your way through with an inconsistent meditation practice and random studies. Maybe you had been receiving the call but had been hitting the snooze button because you had bills to pay and TV dramas to catch up on. Trust me, I know about all of this. I am also intimately familiar with looking under every rock to escape or numb the pain that is awakened by this indescribably heavenly, yet equally hellish connection.

When the twin flame meteor hits you, it is bad news for your ‘old self’. Very bad news! Yet, it is great news in the sense of your awakening. This is the opportunity that will help you become a more balanced person who can access his/her soul truths and develops the courage to live them on the earth plane. That new path will lead you to the highest joy you might have only imagined- one that does not come from Hollywood romance but from being of service to humanity by using your divinely endowed gifts in a balanced way.

The real bad news is, you have no choice. Your life is no longer in your hands. You might feel the steering wheel of your life being managed by something greater than you and it has no intention of telling you where it is taking you. In short, you are scared out of your mind! I know, not fun. But this power, this divine plan does and will take you to your highest joy that cannot be tarnished by salt water, dimmed by any power outage in your town or hijacked by any fear that would have thrown you into a fear loop in your old life.

Don’t try fight the plan that you cannot comprehend. Try to stay under the current of drama and fear stories and don’t try to slam on the brakes. The brakes no longer work. Your car is running on divine fuel that is automatically replenished. And that car is going at the speed it wants to. It’s Stephen King’s Christine coming out of the TV screen and showing you around town by following a route that Google maps can’t detect.

Your twin flame came into your life as a wake up call. You were destined to meet, learn to rise above false romantic love ideals and access unshakable soul truths that will bring you to the highest, most beautiful and profound expression of love this planet has ever seen.

When a twin flame couple is in alignment and have done their inner work, their togetherness acts as an alchemist to the hearts of those they encounter. Their union no longer serves to fill a romantic illusion but to alchemize and transform lower energies based on ego satisfaction blind to soul expansion. The couple becomes a team that awakens, heals and transforms lower forms of feelings people have learned to call ‘love’. Their togetherness serves as a catalyst for other couples to transcend their conditioning and to align themselves with the higher purpose they were destined to discover and actualize.

If you are in the middle of the turmoil of one of those twin flame relationships, hold on tight dear sweet soul. This will be the most unforgettable ride of your life. Trust that you will be shown the way. Your inner compass will always point in the direction you need to be going. This is like natural birth. When you hold the new born in your arms (You: the Butterfly), you will know exactly why you went through that hell. If the flames of that hell had not melted you into nothing, then you will be sipping your pina colada of spiritual truth by the pool of life- a life that you will mold out of the lava of your own soul truths. Welcome home.

This post was originally published by Expanded Consciousness.

Banu Sekendur, MA is an intuitive and a psychotherapist turned relationship coach. Her purpose is to help people grow personally and spiritually through the complexities of their relationships. You can contact her through website and Facebook.