The Give and Take of Personal Freedom

The definition of true freedom (With images) | Freedom, Iyanla ...If you’ve been reading my articles for a while, then you may have also caught on by now that I feel most alive when questioning the status quo, and am not afraid to “go there” and write about topics many would consider sensitive or expletive. You would not be wrong to assume that I’ve always had issues with authority (not so much getting in trouble, but rather asking so many questions and oftentimes asking questions of adults they simply could not explain), although throughout my life I’ve managed to find the delicate balance between speaking the Truth at any cost, and showing compassion in my delivery. 

One of my favorite quotes is “I would rather be slapped hard with the Truth than caressed gently with a lie.” I’ve tweaked it a bit to my own taste, but the message remains. That message is that oftentimes the person being the best friend to you is the one telling you things you may not want to hear per se, but speaking them mindfully with the intention to truly help you.

I was the one where if you constantly asked if something made you look fat, even if it didn’t I would say yes. Not to be cruel, but rather not to continue to feed the jaded opinion of Self and need for outside validation. Just to get the person face to face with their self-created facade of Self and realize that no matter what they look like, weigh, etc. that they are still worthy of love and acceptance. And in the end, I was always the friend at the ready to offer both whenever and however I could.

My good intentions were not always received as intended and often I realize I can come off as insensitive. And oddly enough, it’s because I innately see people’s greatest potential (call it a gift or a curse, I am still trying to figure that out LOL), and when I could see people literally in their own way of happiness, freedom, confidence, etc. it would propel me to share what I could see and feel about the path they needed to take to get there. It’s no surprise I’ve ended up becoming a Reiki Master Teacher and a Holistic Life Coach as I thrive in environments where I can get people off their proverbial asses (or their real ones) and back to living full lives!

I am a firm believer that we are all mirrors to one another and have even written about that ingrained phenomenon that connects us all in a separate article. So it goes without saying that if we are aware of and insightful to the bigger picture of our everyday interactions, whether with family, friends or strangers, we will see ourselves in almost everyone we encounter. And this insight has proven to be an excellent tool for personal growth and healing trauma. Many people avoid growth and healing at the first sign of uncertainty. But as the saying by Deepak Chopra goes, “Every great change is proceeded by chaos”.

This fact we mirror energy back and forth to one another may trigger some to disagree right away claiming no resemblance to someone who could potentially be rude, cruel or even dangerous to others. However, what I’ve come to learn in over 20 years of studying energy and human consciousness is that we cannot react to something we do not acknowledge resides within ourselves. And yes, this goes for both positive or negative traits.

Perhaps one of the oddest insights I’ve had is the realization that we cannot feel jealousy towards someone unless we see the POTENTIAL within ourselves. So, while feeling “green” or envious to another may make us momentarily angry or feeling like we aren’t as good, it can completely change our opinions if we look at it from a different perspective. All envy truly is, is the acknowledge of inner potential that has simply not yet manifested. Bryant McGill Quote: “True freedom is where an individual's ...

So, another way to explain jealousy would be that the person is merely reminding you of your OWN potential. And when we feel like we’re living our best lives or doing all we can to succeed, if we mingle with this emotion, it will soon tell tales that poke and prod you back into action and out of procrastination.

How many times have we seen it in movies? The younger, more fit college guy moves next door and all of a sudden dad wants to work out and get ripped. Somehow, the mere sight of the younger version of Self has prodded a reminder of how good it felt to be in shape and perhaps admired once in a while for having toned abs. It’s not really anything that guy did or even IS, but rather the reflection we allowed ourselves to see.

While anger can be an incredible motivator, I’ve come to realize that if you approach something new with clarity, calmness, and conscious response, then you also open the flood gates to learning life lessons that will not only propel you into action physically but often times emotionally, mentally or spiritually as well.

And this leads us to the idea of what freedom truly is. Regardless of your environment, your culture, your religious (or not) upbringing, we all get a say (and honestly, the final word on) how free we are and will ever be. What I see in the world today is a case of mental slavery where we’ve become content to be told what to do, well into adulthood and rarely stop to question the rules, those who make the rules and why or when we ever agreed to them?

What I’ve realized in my time here on Earth is that if we harbor ill will towards ANYONE or ANYTHING outside of ourselves, we only subject it to having a huge influence over the quality and direction of our lives. It is only when we realize that WE make the rules, and somehow, like a bad dream we awoke to find ourselves lost, and in a state of spiritual amnesia, where we have forgotten our power and who we truly are.

When we surrender choices of our lives in any way shape or form to another, whether 1 or 100 other people, we are literally agreeing to be put under a spell. And until we revoke that spell and reclaim responsibility for our lives, our health, and our happiness we will always look outward with the expectation that is where satisfaction comes from. And if what is “out there” is doing things differently than I am, then I will reject it because it reminds me of the freedom I’ve since handed over to an invisible force.

This is why, especially in a time like this where the world feels upside-down, twisted and bass-ackwards, it is vital to the survival of compassion and true humanity to remember that if we expect the freedom to be who we are from others, then we must also relinquish the need to control what they think, feel and do.

In the end, we cannot take any of this material world with us when we go. Be sure not to take regret and resentment in its place. And when life looks like there’s no chance to hang on, that’s when you know it’s safe to let go…of your expectations, and need to spread what you feel onto others, no matter how much you believe you are coming from a good place. I refuse to be caged in my home at this time, and that has pissed off a lot of people on social media, but if someone didn’t invite you into their personal home life asking for opinions, then just like the message we’ve all been bombarded with goes, “stay the f*&^ck home”. 🙂

Do what is best for YOU. And respect others enough to allow them to do what is best for THEM. True freedom is all about “give and take”…

Love you all. <3


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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