Seven Steps to Oneness - Journey to a Whole New Life

The Duality of Order: A Perspective on Forced Control vs Chosen Organization

You Love Collaboration. Do You Think It's a Substitute for ...The word “order” can often mean different things to different people. That meaning can also shift or be influenced, I am completely convinced, by how much “in control” one feels over themselves and their own life. That feeling in and of itself can also shift with our moods, and when things appear to just “happen to us” in life.

It is my understanding that the first 7 years of our lives are the most influential. During that time, our growing brains are literally sponges to the body of information around us. We may not fully grasp the concept of how our perceptions of the world may be completely different from another’s, but somehow I remember innately knowing that so many adults functioned in a state of fear and victimhood.

It did not take me long to lose the delusion that adults knew everything there was to know and that I was completely safe in the presence of adults, especially my family and teachers. With having come flying out the womb with a list of questions, I’ve never had a problem with voicing my opinion or asking questions to better understand things. It’s like something was left in me unsettled, like a wobbly chair, and I couldn’t regain a sense of inner peace or balance until I had received information that quashed my curiosities.

When I began asking questions that seemed to make adults very uncomfortable or even angry, I, unfortunately, began to understand that adults really are just “big kids” and that no matter HOW old you are, we are all doing the best we can from what we know. What I didn’t realize until much, much later in life was that ultimately, the level of our own ignorance is a personal choice.

After a certain point in life, you are forced to take responsibility for your choices, actions, and words and also the responsibility of dealing with the consequences of those choices, actions, and words. If we do not learn this vital trick to maintain balance in our lives, we miss out on a major life lesson that for me personally has acted as the foundation upon which I now build my closest personal relationships.

I remember being 14 and being told to clean up my room and thinking “why? I like my things everywhere and why are adults so stuck on complaining over such small things?” It wasn’t until I had to be the one to tell myself to clean up that I began to understand that it was never so much an intention to ruin joy or fun, but rather a request for a demonstration of what self-organization skills you have learned.

Being 41 and going on 23 weeks pregnant, I am constantly thinking about how I will reflect on this new life I am responsible for. I mean how do you teach “what works” if you’re still learning that yourself? I’ve since embraced the fact that I will never know it all, but that doesn’t mean I can’t offer guidance on those things I do know.

At one time in my teens, a closet full of dirty/clean clothes existing as a huge ball on the floor was empowering; a show of rebellion against the tyranny of parental demands LOL But now I actually honor and require organization in my home, my mind and ultimately in my life. It’s not that I sold out, but rather learn a new perspective that only certain experiences in life can offer.

Nowadays, I cringe if things are out of place or there’s clutter because the energy I get now is not empowering at all. In fact, it’s disruptive to my thought process and actually makes me feel disempowered. It’s not OCD or that I’m some control freak who will lose her shit if there’s a dish in the sink LOL It’s more like when things are clean and “orderly” and when I created that order, I get the same sense of personal power that I did by rebelling against the same thing as a teenager.

It’s really funny when you know that, and think about the many pointless arguments between people who merely have different perspectives on some things. When you step back and open up to accepting that in a third-dimensional world allows for an almost endless way to see or view something and just because you see a different side, doesn’t mean my side doesn’t exist or that your side is somehow wrong.

I am obsessed with the Laws of Nature and have always been fascinated by the Fibonacci Sequence and how math is literally the language of Nature. We all know math is in itself an order of numbers that cannot be broken. It maintains and expresses this constant in every corner of nature. You can disturb this order, but Nature ultimately will return to balance; there is no other way.

This understanding allows me to see that “control” is not always a bad thing. It’s the mixture of ill intentions and self-absorbed ego that makes it negative or an unpleasant experience. But control doesn’t need to feel negative. When expressed within a mutual understanding of all moving parts involved, it shifts from something that makes the individual feel less than to something that now shows the individual that it is a valid part of the whole and that when it the individual uses free will to take a position to maintain the order, then it becomes chosen organization.

How to Collaborate Better: The Case for a Team Help Desk

This is how small armies blessed with a hell of a lot of communication, respect, and heart can overpower the largest artillery if those act from a place of fear, a need to overpower and control, and ultimately create a vibe where the sense of communion or chosen organization is lost to a personal agenda. Basically, one respects all parts in being vital components for the success of the whole, while the other is merely using the majority of the parts merely to serve one or a select few of the other parts.


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, a heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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