By Mateo Sol | Loner Wolf
Self-realization is one of those phrases that we hear on the spiritual path that goes in one ear and out the other. We don’t give it much thought, yet it’s at the very heart of EVERYTHING.
Without seeing Self-Realization as the ultimate goal of the spiritual journey, our paths are vague, blurry, and disjointed.
We don’t really know why we’re doing what we’re doing. And if we do have some fabricated reason, we never feel truly satisfied: everything we obtain, all the spiritual brownie points we collect, feel empty and ultimately disappointing.
In fact, when we lose sight of the importance of Self-Realization, our spiritual paths are nothing but one distraction after another.
We become spiritual consumers, dabbling here and there in attractive spiritual “products,” without ever really diving deep.
I call this Rabbit Hole Spirituality: like Alice in Wonderland, we’re constantly falling into endless rabbit holes of new trends, exciting practices, and sparkly feel-good philosophies.
But the reality is that we’re lost in the superficial, and eventually, something new will come along and catch our eye, and off into another Rabbit Hole we’ll fall.
Thankfully, there are paths out there that are aligned with a deeper form of spirituality – and all of them lead to Self-Realization.
If you’re not quite sure what the hell Self-Realization is, or how to experience it, stick around.
What is Self-Realization?
There are two definitions of Self-Realization: one is secular, the other is spiritual.
According to various Western psychological and philosophical traditions, self-realization is the fulfillment of our personal potential in life. Essentially, it’s being all that we can be in an unlimited, expansive sense. However, according to Eastern spirituality, Self-Realization is the knowledge and embodiment of our True Nature or the Higher Self beyond the ego.
Here we have two strangely conflicting definitions from the East and West.
Which definition is correct?
Actually neither definition is right or wrong: both are equally relevant as they uphold each other. I’ll explain why next.
The 3 Shamanic Realms of Self-Realization
Self-Realization is not so much one big lights-and-glamor moment as it is a slow and steady process. This process occurs within the three realms of existence:
- The Middle World
- The Lower World
- The Upper World
Using shamanic terminology, the middle world is the realm where we live everyday life. This is the realm where we go about our daily existence with family, friends, and work colleagues.
The lower world is the downwards and inwards realm where everything hiding beneath the surface dwells. This is the realm of thoughts, feelings, instincts, dreams, unconscious wounds, and at a core level, the soul.
The upper world is the upwards and outwards realm where we transcend the body, mind, and soul and enter the immaterial, eternal Spirit that permeates all layers of existence.
Each realm has a purpose …
Within each realm there is a task for us to fulfill:
- In the middle world, the task is ego growth
- In the lower world, the task is soul embodiment
- In the upper world, the task is spirit realization (also known as Self-Realization)
As depth psychologist Bill Plotkin writes,
Ego growth, soul embodiment, and spiritual realization are equally vital to growing whole. Although all three components can be engaged concurrently, there is a natural sequence to their unfolding: ego growth is the foundation upon which soul embodiment rests, and the latter, I believe, most effectively galvanizes spirit realization.
Here we see that all three realms build on top of, and support, one another – the ultimate goal being Self-Realization.
The difference between self-realization and Self-Realization …
So here we see there are actually two types of Self-Realization.
The West promotes the realization of the self’s (ego’s) fullest potential. This process occurs within the middle and underworld realm. And some Western schools of psychology, such as those that adhere to Carl Jung’s philosophies, promote soul realization (also known as the individuation process).
And the East promotes the realization of the Self – that is, liberation from the small fabricated self (ego), and the embodiment of one’s Higher Self or True Nature. This is an upper world path, a path that transcends the personal ego and soul, and unites us with the Absolute, Unchanging, and Eternal Spirit. This is the path of enlightenment.
Most Western and Eastern schools of thought ignore or deny the importance of all three paths working together in unison. But they are all essential paths to embrace so that we can experience true Self-Realization – just as a tree needs roots, a trunk, and branches to be whole.
The 9 Stages of Spiritual Self-Realization
And should you choose to devote yourself to the ongoing journey of self-realization, you will develop a tremendous sense of respect for who you really are. It is only then that you will come to appreciate the full depth of meaning in the advice: “This above all: to thine own self be true.”
– Michael A. Singer
As I mentioned previously, Self-Realization is not so much one great big moment as it is a gradual process of unfolding.
(However, it must be noted here that for some rare individuals, Self-Realization does come as one big moment. But for the vast majority of us, it’s a slow and steady process.)
Below you’ll find the nine stages of spiritual Self-Realization: from the beginning of the journey, all the way to the end. Please note that Self-Realization is not necessarily (and often isn’t) a linear process. We often experience a spiral of unfolding and transformation, and it’s common to move forward and backward:
1. Self-Awareness
At the beginning of the journey is the dawning of self-awareness. This may occur sporadically as a result of temporary moments of introspection or as an entire spiritual awakening. Self-awareness is when we become aware of ourselves (from an ego-based standpoint) and how we interact with the world.
Those who are self-aware move away from their previous psychological ignorance (also commonly referred to as “being asleep”) and into greater self-consciousness. This can be a painful period as we take an honest look at our thoughts, habits, choices, and ways of relating to the world. Often we don’t like what we see. Thus, we either numb ourselves out of denial or enter the path of self-growth (also known as the spiritual path).
2. Self-Exploration
After the shock of awakening to more self-awareness, we’re driven by the desire to explore ourselves more – this is the journey of self-exploration.
Self-exploration is fuelled by a mixture of curiosity (“who am I really?”) and dissatisfaction (“I can’t believe I did/said/believed that!”). We want to find out more about personalities and understand our authentic place in life.
Self-exploration often occurs in the middle world (the realm of everyday life) and the purpose of it is to uncover how we think, feel, and behave. To get answers, we seek to gain knowledge and understanding of ourselves through books, workshops, films, personality tests, and other psychological and spiritual practices.
3. Self-Discovery
Once we start dabbling in the world of self-exploration, we eventually experience self-discovery, which is what happens when we dig deep underneath the surface of ourselves.
Self-discovery occurs when we move from the “what?” to the “WHY?” While the previous stage (self-exploration) deals with what we like/feel/do/think, self-discovery deals with why we like/feel/do/think everything that emerges inside of us.
In this stage, it’s common to begin various forms of inner work that get to the root of our core selves.
4. Self-Understanding
Self-understanding is a crystallization of the previous three stages: it’s a deep understanding of the dynamics and workings of our ego selves.
People who have reached this stage have a thorough and multi-layered understanding of the origins and reasons why they think, feel, and behave the way they do. Not only have they explored their conscious ego, but they’ve also explored their unconscious mind to meet their shadow selves and other buried core wounds.
Self-Understanding is a lower world path that goes downwards and inwards, touching and revealing the very nature of our souls.
5. Self-Love
Next is self-love: the stage where we are filled with compassion for ourselves and all that we’ve been through.
As a lower world path, self-love is what happens when we tap into the fundamental nature of our heart and soul: love. When we love ourselves, we are fuelled by a deep understanding of ourselves. In fact, without the previous stage (self-understanding) it’s almost impossible to practice self-love because we don’t know what or why we do, think, and feel what we do.
Learning how to love ourselves means that we stop punishing ourselves, start nurturing ourselves, and start experiencing greater self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-forgiveness.
6. Self-Transformation
In this stage, we begin to shed our old and limiting habits, perceptions, and compulsions that were created by the false self (ego) and transform into the most authentic version of ourselves possible.
When we experience self-transformation, we enter a death and rebirth process that can feel uncomfortable and destabilizing at first. But ultimately, any change we undergo is liberating. In other words, we become more soul-centered instead of ego-centered, and we’re more comfortable in our skin.
Thanks to the previous five stages, we’re able to make space for new growth to occur. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, we feel more expanded, free, and grounded.
