1

Vulnerability: The Love You Show is the Love You Grow

The hidden gift of love itself is that you must be willing to be vulnerable, to be open and to have your heart broken in order to explore its deepest depths. When you surrender to your truth and fully expose yourself to another in that way, love will pour into that space in immeasurable ways. This does not equate to rainbows and butterflies where everything is peaceful 100% of the time, but rather it creates a space where conflict can be resolved in a calm and respectful manner that goes less through mirroring and more through compassion, understanding and a mutual goal of both persons wishing to grow, expand and heal their unresolved shadows/core beliefs that are no longer serving them in the most positive of ways.

I truly feel that humanity is headed towards a more heart-based living all around. Relationships, in general, are getting more personal, even if it may appear that the world of technology is pushing us all apart or that war and greed are doing more of the same while also destroying our beautiful Mother Earth. The trick to stopping the cycle of destruction and tipping the scales back to center starts within each and every one of us.

When we teach our children self-love, that their feelings matter, to explore meditation and understand energy and the potentials of manifesting and creating in 3D reality, we begin a new wave of conscious creativity; one that has been dormant since the great Ascended Masters of Atlantis. But the wave is coming, and in fact, it’s already touched a million shores. But to see the change, we need to first be willing to BE IT.

To me, this has always been the ultimate expression of love; self-care. When we take the time to heal our own shit, explore our inner workings, build our talents, share our gifts and go after our dreams we stop being just another face in the crowd and start becoming one who is not only true to themselves, but also is brave enough to be a beacon for others.

And this is the energy and light the wave is carrying across the consciousness of humanity, and it travels on the frequency of L-O-V-E. No shocker there, though right? <3 What will heal humanity is ultimately what we can also use to heal our very own hearts after a break-up. Our feelings are so much more powerful than we’ve ever been taught to believe.

When we enter a new relationship, we often use negative, empty implicating words that we might not notice the effects of like “falling in love” or “losing myself in you” or “you complete me”. All of these phrases imply we are only halves of our true selves and while I get that people want the other to feel wanted and needed, the reason strong relationships last is because they contain two people who can stand on their own, who simply chose to come together for mutual pleasure. Not because the sole underlying drive in our heart is a “need”.

The best way to rise up after falling deeply in love is to fall back into love, but this time with you! Seriously, I’m talking being awesome to yourself and quitting all of the self-sabotage crap. For once, whether you are in a relationship with another person or not, stop and take a minute and reflect in the glory of your OWN awesomeness. You will be surprised at what opportunities just might open up for you! 🙂

Have a love-filled weekend!

And no matter where you are, you are WHOLE and COMPLETE as you are in this moment! <3

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+




5 Ways To Show Your Partner You’re Falling in Love

Source: Power of Positivity

I love you” is undoubtedly one of the most powerful phrases in the English language. But when you’re in a relatively new relationship, you might not want to throw the words out there too soon. So if you want to show your new partner how you feel without proclaiming your love too early on, what can you do?

And, you might also be resistant to saying those three sweet words for other reasons, as well. Perhaps you feel fear that your partner doesn’t reciprocate–yet. Or, maybe you feel that the term is overstating those newly blossoming feelings that are unfolding inside of you.

Regardless of your reasons for choosing not to speak the L-word out loud, you can use sweet, intimate gestures to express your genuine feelings and also build a stronger bond.

Here are 5 Ways You Can Show Your Partner You’re In Love Without Using the Words

1. Build a Strong Friendship.

Good relationships don’t just happen overnight. They require mutual love, trust, and respect. Creating a strong foundation as friends, who share everything, will enhance sexual pleasures at a later time in your union. The act of allowing and acceptance is a beautiful bond in human sexuality. Feeling safe is a cornerstone of a strong love relationship. That’s because only you can only feel genuine happiness when you know your partner has your back and your best intentions at heart.

This leads to the release of the love hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin creates a sense of happiness and well-being. This hormone is associated with empathy and trust, therefore releasing even more feelings of love and security in a relationship. Friends don’t require sex. They require acknowledgment, understanding and mutual admiration. You cultivate love through the depth of a strong friendship.

2. Connect Through Food.

There is something especially touching when someone you love cooks for you. To have a meal prepared with love is a true act of love. Women love men who cook. And it is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Even if you cannot cook, just picking out a meal at a restaurant and enjoying the moment together is enough to feel good. Food connects us through cultures, heritage, and social events. We need it for health and fueling our bodies.

Try taking a cooking class together. Make dessert for one another. Turn off all phones, get a glass of wine, and enjoy the culinary arts. The simple act of feeding stimulates conversation and will increase your bond.

“Food is symbolic to love when words are inadequate.”  ~Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt

3. Find Hobbies and Activities To Do Together.

Share a bucket list of things you want to do with each other. Finding ways to interact outside of the bedroom is romantic. You can hike in the rain, chase a sunset, or take an art class in town. Make time to do the things that you like to do alone and share them with your partner. Teach each other new things. Workout together. Read to one another. Have playtime and a picnic in the park. Go to a baseball game. Go roller skating and return to places that you enjoyed in your youth.

Being silly and laughing with each other is precious. Sharing these parts of yourself enhances your emotional connection.

READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE…




The 4 Stages Of Love And Why Too Many Get Stuck At Stage 3

happy-cute-couple-compressed

Source: Higher Perspective

1. Falling in love.

They call this the honeymoon stage sometimes. It’s where everything is so amazing. You’re getting to know one another, learning all the little details, and falling in love more every day. The love is great. The sex is great. Every day is exhilarating. This is truly the easiest part of being in love.

Related Article: Loved & Lost: Rising From the Fall

2. Being a couple.

After falling in love, things calm down a little bit. You become a little more domestic. You’ve likely committed to one another monogamously at this point and have deactivated the Tinder and OkCupid accounts. This is the part where you’re building a life together, and here’s a secret:

It can be as fun as you want it to be.

Related Article: 10 Habits That Keep Couples Happy

Building that life can be mundane and dull or it can be exciting and fun. It really is a decision that you make. But often times, we end up in stage 3.

3. Disillusionment.

This is the stage where most relationships go to die. It can come on slowly or be sudden. During stage three, we can be angry or withdrawn when hurt. We can feel trapped in the relationship. You don’t want to give up, but yet you find yourself doing things you didn’t think you’d ever do.

Related Article: The 10 Most Common Complaints Sex Therapists Hear from Couples

Maybe that OkCupid account gets reactivated for a day. Maybe you find your eyes drifting toward one of your coworkers. But how you handle this stage really sets the stage for the rest of your life together. It takes work to be the best person you can be for your partner. What will you choose?

READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE…




The Science and Psychology of Love

Sarah Gehrke | ExaminedExistence

Have you ever stopped for a second to think about the science and psychology of falling in love or why you are falling in love with that special someone? Did you ever notice love is sort of a mysterious yet natural emotion in us and it must have to do something with our chemistry to one another? Or, have you ever concluded love could be a beautiful feeling helping species remain alive? If not, it is the time to be mindful because it will definitely help you envision and live a fuller life.

We simply call this mysterious feeling “love” but believe it or not, there is a complexity behind the wheel driving us to cogitate our involvement in this feeling—some sort of devoted and passionate feeling. Science has sought long to detect the basic phenomenon behind amity and has concluded at many stages that love is the most alluring feeling in our life aiding us to thrive. Fidelity compels us to accelerate the process of reproduction. Staying over the rainbow and in love with the world is not a casual nexus.

An article in Psychopharmacology (2012) concluded when compared to behavioral addiction, social attachment is similar—individuals become addicted to other because of the returned reward. There is a chemical chain of reaction triggered in our bodies ultimately instigating the feeling of love to strike our minds. Actually, falling in love is getting into a beautiful trap set up by nature, a natural occurrence we cannot fight. According to a science-based study by Arthur Arun, on average, the mind of a person takes between 90 seconds to 4 minutes to determine whether it is struck by love or not.

Some of the highlighted points of the study are as follows:
• 55% of the role is played by body language; this means a brain detects the activities of body movement and decides whether it has received the signals of love or not
• 38% of the decision to be in love is contributed by the voice—its tone and change in frequency
• 7% is the reaction to a lover’s statement or choice of words

The 3 Stages Involved in Falling in Love

A recent study based on the topic “science behind the love” is conducted at Rutgers University located in United States, revealed there are 3 stages involved with falling in love—namely lust, attraction, and attachment. Each stage involves different types of chemical reactions within the body (specifically the brain). Along with that, there are different hormones present in the body helping to excite all these three stages (lust, attraction, and attachment) separately as well as collectively.

Stage 1: Lust

Lust is said to be the initial stage of getting involved with love. The feel of lust is basically backed up or instigated by the sexual hormones within the body.

Oestrogen and Testosterone are the two basic types of hormones present equally in men and women’s body that excites the feeling of lust within the brain. Limbic processes in the brain in response to lust have health-promoting and stress-reducing potential. In addition, lust, love, and pleasure ensure the endurance of mankind through mating. The mating process is a discrete interrelated process initiating attraction.

Stage 2: Attraction

Second stage of acquiring love is attraction. This phase is said to be one of the beautiful moments of life. This is the phase when a person actually starts to feel the love. His or her impatience for attracting somebody leads to excitement, and the individual is left with no other option but to only think about that specific person. Scientifically, it has been concluded in the study that there are three more sub-stages of attraction that portray drastic changes over the individual’s personality. The three sub-stages of attraction are adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin.

Adrenaline

Scientists have elaborated that initial symptoms of attraction toward someone involves:

• Stress response
• Increase in Adrenalin and Cortisol
• Attitude reaction

It has been specified in the study that any person who falls in love will acquire a slight or drastic change in the above stated three factors. Furthermore, attraction is one of the charming effects of life and slight changes in personality are not only natural but are also positive. For this reason, whenever you bump into your crush, your senses decline, your heart beats like a drum, and your mouth is so dry your tongue feels like sandpaper.

Dopamine
To follow the theoretical research, a physical experiment was also conducted to prove the veracity of physical evidence. The brains of a new couple struck with love were observed using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRIs). It was genuinely shocking to discover the minds of both male and female have large spikes of neurotransmitter dopamine, a chemical that stimulates the feeling of pleasure within the body.

After discovering this, scientists described both the male and female minds are equally high as if they had taken cocaine or somewhat similar drug! Dopamine is a natural stimulant providing you with ecstasy. The couple furthermore revealed the following facts about themselves from the time they feel in love until the date they were examined:

• Surge of energy
• Observed a significant decrease in feeling hungry
• Found to have slept less compared to before falling in love
• Attention has been more focused than ever before

Serotonin

Last but not the least, serotonin has been found as one of the important chemicals involved for exciting the feeling of love. Serotonin basically diverts your mind and bounds you to think about your lover and nothing else. It becomes a path for the mind. Sandra Langeslag and colleagues (2012) report serotonin levels are different in men and women when in love. The men in love had lower levels of serotonin, while the women reveal the opposite. The participants in love reported engrossing in thought about their beloved 65% of their day.

Click here for the rest of the article.




Loved & Lost: Rising From the Fall

It’s that time of year again where love is (supposedly) in the air! 🙂 I say supposedly because in my world it is always there in the air, in the ethers, in my own breath and vitality, and is the driving force behind every intention of my heart. But I digress, as I need to stop and remind myself that we have not yet reached that place in our collective humanity where we all remember who we are and what the hell we’re doing here. HAHA! Wouldn’t that be great? I’m a work-in-progress as we all are, and I’m also happy to share some of my personal experience around love in all its previous torment and equal awesomeness, in the hopes it brings you all a bit closer to your own hearts. <3

I’m recently divorced, and while mine isn’t the typical situation (my ex and I remain great friends and still talk to one another almost every single week), ending my marriage and what lead up to it was a life-changing, path-altering experience I will never forget and will always cherish for the immense lessons it provided me. These lessons took my heart through the spin-cycle and hung it out to dry, but yet it still beats, stronger and more open than ever! For the first time in my life, I’m getting to know (and LOVE) myself.

Valentine’s Day can mean many things to many people and even when I’ve been in relationships, I never really made much of a fuss of this “holiday”. I never fail to take advantage of an opportunity to bring more “happy and joy” to those around me, though and “Love Day” truly is an excellent chance to take the time to remind others how awesome they are. Even if you just smile at a stranger, it could seriously turn their whole day around; especially those who do take these days to heart and are telling themselves stories that they are unworthy of love, ugly, etc.

But in general, for those of us not celebrating with a “special someone” this weekend, I think instead of letting it make us sad or feel incomplete or unlovable, we instead take a fine look in the mirror and realize that there is someone with you all the time deserving of your love…and that someone is YOU!  And when you truly love yourself first and foremost rather than looking for another to “make you feel” a certain way, the world loves you back! We truly do teach those around us how to treat us even if we are not consciously aware of this. And once self-love is intact, then and only then, can two whole people come together rather than two halves looking to make another feel “complete”.

I think it’s safe to say that if you are reading this, you’ve had your heart stomped on a time or two. Or perhaps you were the one to do the stomping. It’s all relative…however, that alone tells me that we are meant to experience love in its greatest expanse, because than pain of having love and having lost is what expands US the greatest spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

When we have truly appreciated something in our lives that reflected back to us the joy within, we can literally feel like a piece of ourselves has perished once the connection is gone. This would be a good time to notice the different feelings between attachment and true love and between co-dependence/need and simple choice/pleasure/resonance.

A Gift & A Wave…

The hidden gift of love itself is that you must be willing to be vulnerable, to be open and to have your heart broken in order to explore its deepest depths. When you surrender to your truth and fully expose yourself to another in that way, love will pour into that space in immeasurable ways. This does not equate to rainbows and butterflies where everything is peaceful 100% of the time, but rather it creates a space where conflict can be resolved in a calm and respectful manner that goes less through mirroring and more through compassion, understanding and a mutual goal of both persons wishing to grow, expand and heal their unresolved shadows/core beliefs that are no longer serving them in the most positive of ways.

I truly feel that humanity is headed towards a more heart-based living all around. Relationships in general are getting more personal, even if it may appear that the world of technology is pushing us all apart or that war and greed are doing more of the same while also destroying our beautiful Mother Earth. The trick to stopping the cycle of destruction and tipping the scales back to center starts within each and every one of us.

When we teach our children self-love, that their feelings matter, to explore meditation and understand energy and the potentials of manifesting and creating in 3D reality, we begin a new wave of conscious creativity; one that has been dormant since the great Ascended Masters of Atlantis. But the wave is coming, and in fact it’s already touched a million shores. But to see the change, we need to first be willing to BE IT.

To me this has always been the ultimate expression of love; self-care. When we take the time to heal our own shit, explore our inner workings, build our talents, share our gifts and go after our dreams we stop being just another face in the crowd and start becoming one who is not only true to themselves, but also is brave enough to be a beacon for others.

And this is the energy and light the wave is carrying across the consciousness of humanity, and it travels on the frequency of L-O-V-E. No shocker there, though right? <3 What will heal humanity is ultimately what we can also use to heal our very own hearts after a break up. Our feelings are so much more powerful than we’ve ever been taught to believe.

When we enter a new relationship, we often use negative, empty implicating words that we might not notice the effects of like “falling in love” or “losing myself in you” or “you complete me”. All of these phrases imply we are only halves of our true selves and while I get people want the other to feel wanted and needed, the reason strong relationships last are because they contain two people who can stand on their own, who simply chose to come together for mutual pleasure. Not because the sole underlying drive in our heart is a “need”.

The best way to rise up after falling deeply in love is to fall back into love, but this time with you! Seriously, I’m talking being awesome to yourself and quitting all of the self-sabotage crap. For once, whether you are in a relationship with another person or not, stop and take a minute and reflect in the glory of your OWN awesomeness. You will be surprised at what opportunities just might open up for you! 🙂

Have a blessed and love-filled weekend!

And no matter where you are, you are WHOLE and COMPLETE as you are in this moment! <3

 

tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

Follow Tamara on FacebookTwitter and Google+