Say Goodbye to Sexual Shame: 3 Ways to Release Guilt & Embrace Pleasure

Posted by on September 5, 2017 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 5 Comments
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

sexual-shame-compressed

By Christina Antonyan | Meet Mindful

Overcoming sexual guilt, for some, can be a great and daring act of bravery. Release shame and embrace satisfaction. You are worthy of pleasure.


Sexual guilt is a struggle, which takes place within ourselves—self imposed in our own minds. Sexual guilt holds us back from open, spontaneous, and authentic expressions because we hide inside a self-evaluating shell. It keeps us from expressing our sexual desires, and feeds on our pleasures by turning them into something that we perceive as unclean.

Related Article: 20 Brutally Honest Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex

The emotion of sexual guilt steals intimacy from lovemaking and makes sex impersonal, repetitious, and mechanical. It can make a man lose his erection and a passionate woman can lose her desiresWe can’t feel sexy if we feel guilty. The sexual guilt we carry with us is directly proportional to the pleasure we don’t feel.

But where does the emotion of sexual guilt come from?

None of us were born with the emotion of sexual guilt. As children, we all began as sexual innocent adventurers touching our genitals with no sense of shame or embarrassment. For us, it was a journey of discovery, wonder, and a feeling of pleasure.

Until one day, an adult made us feel guilty or embarrassed about what we were doing by saying silly things such as:

  • Touching yourself will make you go blind (my mother’s favorite. I am happy to report that I am in my early 30s and not only am I NOT blind, but I am not even wearing glasses.)
  • Stop touching your wee-wee, it’s embarrassing.
  • Shame, shame, shame.
  • Nice girls don’t do that.
  • It’s a sin to touch yourself.
  • You should never touch yourself because you will go to hell.
  • If I catch you doing that again, you will stand in the corner until you realize what you’ve done wrong (I’ve spent hours staring at a boring wall.)

From these naïve but consequential comments and punishments, we gradually (or suddenly) learned the emotion of sexual guilt from an unintended adult who was supposed to be our loving guardian or mentor. We can’t really blame our parents or adults whose attitude towards sex comes from their parents who inherited Victorian taboos, religious misinformation, and centuries of ignorance.

Related Article: 9 Surprisingly Simple Lessons In Intimacy From Tantric Sex

Unlearning Sexual Guilt

Sexual guilt is a learned emotion and the good news is, it can be unlearned.

Unlearning sexual guilt means dropping other peoples programming of your sexuality so you become free:

  • Free to express your desires
  • Free to be creative and confident
  • Free in your feelings
  • Free to experience your own pleasure the way you choose.

This doesn’t mean compromising your boundaries or having to change your values.

It’s difficult to “unlearn” long-term habits, but it’s required for healthy growth and development as you work to overcome your sexual guilt.

Here are three ways to unlearn sexual guilt:

1. Turn Guilt into Pleasure

Allow pleasure to inhibit guilt and not the other way around.

Take a step-by-step approach to ease whatever it is that makes you feel sexual guilt by getting closer to that pivotal point, but never close enough to feel guilty. Remain relaxed, but sexually excited enough to feel pleasure.

You may require a lot of sexual pleasure to block a little guilt, work your way up to an intense arousal state where you feel comfortable, warm, relaxed and yet very sexual. You want to make sure that pleasure always wins and guilt always loses so you learn how to feel and build pleasure while unlearning guilt.

Related Article: 3 Most Damaging Myths About the Sex Lives of Men

With repetition, a new learning takes place. You learn to face guilt because what used to provoke discomfort will now inspire pleasure. You unlearn the guilt you use to feel. Sex isn’t always neat and clean, but that’s also what can make it fun and exciting.

2. Reflection & Expression

Most of what we have learned about sexuality comes from porn, media, our friends, and other unreliable sources.

We don’t take the time to get to know our own mind and body to ask ourselves: what really turns us on? How do we feel emotionally, and spiritually about our desires?

You are the longest and closest lover you have. Take the time to learn about your body. Learn about your desires, pleasures, and how you want to express yourself. This will help you figure out your own truth instead of relying on others to tell you what you are suppose to think and feel.

READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE…

Tags: , , , , , ,

Subscribe

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it.

Subscribe via RSS FeedConnect on YouTube

5 Reader Comments

Trackback URL Comments RSS Feed

  1. 1114429435247841@facebook.com' Patricia Harrold says:

    Very interesting !

  2. 164784050554034@facebook.com' Elissa Engelbourg says:

    Sexual shame? You must be joking. In this sex-saturated culture with porn on HBO, high rates of teen pregnancy, STDs and illegitimacy. Give me a break. It seems the only ones who are made to feel ashamed are virgins.

  3. 10207950975363060@facebook.com' James P Moon says:

    As men we need to take responsibility and stop having sex with women we’re not married to because clearly they can’t handle that responsibility.

  4. 193231694363771@facebook.com' AbdurRahman Umar Ibn Bakr says:

    its is a sex saturated society. there is too much sex everywhere. what we need is morailty and goodness again. we need humanity

  5. 1047337108631948@facebook.com' Bunny Brando says:

    don’t want commitment? then I don’t want your half ass sex

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

FAIR USE NOTICE. Many of the stories on this site contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making this material available in an effort to advance the understanding of environmental issues, human rights, economic and political democracy, and issues of social justice. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of the copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright Law which contains a list of the various purposes for which the reproduction of a particular work may be considered fair, such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. If you wish to use such copyrighted material for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use'...you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. And, if you are a copyright owner who wishes to have your content removed, let us know via the "Contact Us" link at the top of the site, and we will promptly remove it.

The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Conscious Life News assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms.

Paid advertising on Conscious Life News may not represent the views and opinions of this website and its contributors. No endorsement of products and services advertised is either expressed or implied.
Top

Send this to friend