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Navigating Your Love Life After Discovering Same-Sex Attraction

Written by on October 14, 2020 in Relationships & Sex with 0 Comments

Whether you think of yourself as gay, bisexual, or don’t think about yourself in such terms at all, discovering that you have a same-sex relationship can be pretty exhilarating, but it can also be a little scary and nerve-wracking. After all, it can feel like a whole new side of the dating world has opened up, one that perhaps you haven’t been socialized to understand quite as much. However, you don’t have to be completely lost with your love life. Here are a few tips to help you better navigate.

Picture – CC0 License

Be open and be prepared

When you start dating, a mix of expectations can make things pretty confusing, so it’s a good idea to have a pre-date plan that can help you stick to a certain route when you feel like you’re getting lost. This doesn’t mean that you have to plan your approach to a tee. Rather, we’re talking about taking the time to relax, maybe have a drink, and get a pep-talk with a friend before you go on a date. It’s also worth noting that you might have some gender expectations baked in about how dates go and those can be pretty hard to let go, but if you take the time to acknowledge them, you can better stop them from ruining things.

Get used to it slowly

You don’t have to rush into anything now that you’ve discovered a new attraction. You might be eager to look for love (or at least something passionate and fun), but you might not necessarily be ready for that. For some people, same-sex dating can feel exactly the same as dating people of other sexes beforehand, but for others, it’s all very new so nerves can start to get the best of you. Familiarity can help you get over those nerves, of course. To that end, it might be worth looking into options like gay phone dates before you go on real physical dates. You can get used to talking, flirting, and seeing what you like from members of the same sex before you push further in.

Stay smart and protect yourself

Discovering an attraction to a whole new sex of people can feel a little bit like being the debutante on the dating scene again. Everything is new and exciting and a lot of people want to experience as much of it as they can as soon as possible. However, rushing and being too eager without considering how to do it responsibly can be dangerous. People with more experience can potentially take advantage, which can lead to abusive relationships. Measure yourself and pace yourself, take the time to get to know people and, if you do want to just look for a little fun, be a responsible dater and don’t put yourself at risk, date in public spaces.

Your love life as someone with a same-sex attraction doesn’t necessarily have to be incredibly different from before you discovered your attraction. It’s more about ensuring you don’t make big mistakes after what feels like a big change, more than anything.

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