Video Source: TEDx Talks
Starting at age 3, Sammy Rangel experienced unbelievable abuse at the hands of his uncle and mother. This led him to the streets at age 11 and to almost killing a homeless man at age 17. This landed him in a maximum security prison where he was involved in a riot that landed in the hole for a long stint.
When he left the jail, he was aware that he had embraced not just anger, but hate. At this point, Sammy says he was more animal than human.
Because of his violence, he was moved from prison to prison, and many even rejected him.
Eventually, he landed in rehabilitation program. And finally, someone asked him to talk about what he had never talked about – his mother’s abuse. The counselor asked him to imagine talking to his mother. So he did. Then, the counselor asked him to sit in his mother’s chair. All he could say was “I’m sorry.”
The counselor then asked him to go back to his chair and allowed him to talk about his abuse some more.
The turning point came when the counselor asked him this question, “Sammy, have you ever hurt anyone the way your mother hurt you?”
“Since then,” Sammy says, “My life has been one long apology, to my victims, to my siblings, to my children, who I had abandoned at this point, including my enemies that I had felt deserved whatever I did to them.”With teary eyes, Sammy read this elegant summary
With teary eyes, Sammy read this elegant summary to his talk:
“What I have learned is that although the details of our lives may be different, the underlying process of getting stuck or suffering in parts of life is the same for all of us. We do not have to be victims of our experiences or in the way that we tell our stories, but interestingly enough, stories are our only way out and it is us who creates those stories. We hold the power to change our stories and what they represent. I invite all of you all to consider if it would serve you well to create a new story and a new path, and to please remember that the things that held you down will one day hold you up.”