How to Be a Conscious Responder & Not an Emotional Reactor


Image result for respond consciouslyI think it’s a fair assumption to say that we have all had a relationship at one time or another in our lives. I’m not referring solely to the romantic kinds of relationships people tend to put much energy into looking for. We’ll be talking today about the entire spectrum of relationships from parent/child, teacher/student, brother/sister, and everything in between.

So often we get caught up playing specific roles in our relationship where one person does this and the other does that and if those roles are not completed for whatever reason, well this can often lead to the other party getting pissed off, hurt, confused, etc. Depending on the actual circumstances, a myriad of things could occur that could even lead to the relationship itself terminating.

But are other people’s actions ever really about us? Well, yes and no and it all depends on our level of Self or Conscious Awareness. One thing to keep in mind is that how people act and RE-act is always a testament to whether they are in an emotionally-fueled reaction driven usually by our fears and insecurities, or a state of heart-based conscious response.

When we immediately fly off the handle because someone is being rude to us for no reason, what is actually occurring is we are making their actions about us. When, if we know we haven’t done anything, intentionally or not, to cause such a thing, then why do we justify their actions by responding back the same exact way?

Well, for one if we are at their level of consciousness, we may not even know we have another choice in how to respond. Or we may have been told that letting someone talk to us “that way” is not respecting yourself. Well, truth is, a person’s opinion of you must first have value to you, in order for it to actually cause you disrespect. So, if a random stranger having a bad day, flipping you the bird because THEY can’t control their rage and need an unfamiliar outlet to pour onto to has value to you, then, by all means, soak up their rage and act just as moronic and crazy as they just did to you!

Do you see how this happens every day in our world and in so many corners of society? How we are all mirrors just reflecting and bouncing our feelings, thoughts, and words of one another? But what if, instead of taking offense, instead of believing everything “out there” that the world often shoves into our perceptions, we choose to KNOW our OWN truth about ourselves and simply live it?

What happens when this occurs? Well for one we become peaceful. And this state of peace becomes precious. So precious in fact that something like a random ticked of rage-road infested driver could never and would never be worthy of taking such a thing from you. This is not an act of ego or judgment but in fact the complete opposite. It is an act of self-love and simple acceptance that you see the person for what THEY are, and choose to allow THEM to keep it to themselves.

This might seem new or foreign to many of us, but the more we practice this and use our “take a moment before responding” muscle, the easier it becomes. And this isn’t a call to become an emotionless zombie, but rather an invitation to take a look at how often you are letting situations that really have no bearing on your overall life really affect it and your overall mood in a big way. So, ask yourself…is it worth it? Image result for respond consciously

When we discipline ourselves to shift from an “emotional reactor” to a “conscious responder”, we are literally re-training our minds to lean less on others and be more trusting of ourselves. One could say we are exercising our self-reliance muscles because the more we learn to give, ourselves the chance to CHOOSE our own reactions, the more we are telling ourselves, “Hey, I trust YOU over what the outside world is attempting to get me to believe right now.”

So, really it’s like becoming a spiritual alchemist of sorts and learning to master the art of balancing life with love and logic. If we can look at the world, but not be blind to its filters and effects on our perceptions, we allow our sight to stay in love. If we can think of the world as a classroom and instead of getting pissed off at things and taking offense, we instead begin to look at them as lessons and learning experiences.

The more you do this, the more you will find in your life and in yourSELF to be grateful for. And when you love yourself enough from a place of conscious awareness, the world tends to love you back just as hard. And you’ll come to find that where you used to lean and perhaps get dropped, knocked over, etc. now holds you strong and without fear of falling. And you know why? Because like our friend the bird, we no longer rely solely on the branch, but rather on our own wings.


tamaraTamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to

Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.

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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

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