As a life coach (a self-described “intuitive” one) and published writer of many books related to human psychological and spiritual development, I often get emails from people seeking clarity on certain issues. Sometimes these people book online sessions with me, but just as often I simply respond by email as fully as I can. So, for my weekly article here on Conscious Life News, I thought I would share an email – and my responses – from someone who contacted me recently. I have changed the writer's name and one or two details to respect her privacy, but other than that the email remains the same as was originally written. I share this particular email because the issues it addresses are very common ones, and the subject of many of the emails – and life coaching sessions – that come my way.
Michelle's words are in bold, my responses in normal font.
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Thanks for your email. You can see my responses to your questions, below.
I’m writing to you as I’ve been thinking lately about the meaning of life, the universe & working out just what it is I’m meant to be doing or have some success at. I guess this has come about because I’m getting older and I have had a spat off illness that has got me thinking, how is it I can heal myself on all levels, etc.
Sometimes there isn't any one right “career” or job for a person, and it isn't always possible to turn a passion into a money-making venture.
By all means, use your intuition to guide you towards doing what you love. However I recommend people think of their life purpose as being more related to being, rather than doing. When you are fully present with what you are doing, then our highest “states” tend to emerge – gratitude, love, joy, creative expression and so on. In the end, we are here to shine our light, not to do a job. This is our greatest gift to humanity, and it is the greatest gift to our own soul. The job is secondary. Neale Donald Walshe teaches this principle, too.
Another way to think of this is to first ask yourself what states of being reflect the highest expression of your soul? These will always be positive states, such as the ones in the previous paragraph. Then ask yourself how you can allow these states to emerge in whatever you are doing. Also, what kinds of work will most readily allow you to express these states?
The best thing about this approach to “finding my purpose” is that it takes away the pressure of having to find “the one right calling”. The latter really creates an “all or nothing” scenario, and sets people up for a lot of suffering if they cannot find, or achieve that one correct career path.
I haven’t read your books, just have listened to a few YouTube’s and your website, you seem fairly genuine? For that reason I think, I thought maybe you would be able to help me somewhat. I’m wanting some guidance to know that intuitive side of myself and tune in to some of my own self-healing education.
There’s a bit about spiritual stuff that holds me back and that is whether I would attract any badies into my world when meditating and stuff. I have always been a super sensitive kind of girl and have had many prophetic dreams, vision and the like that have come true. At times I would of rather not known these circumstances I would encounter and they have left me wondering how I can work with the fear of encountering nasty’s, yet not get bogged down or use it as a mechanism to scare my silly self.
The answer is that you should not make the psychic the focus of your life or spiritual journey. This is a mistake many people make in new age circles. Instead, your focus should be on being fully present in the now.
It is when you are present in the moment that your intuition is most profound, anyway. Intuition can come in many forms, not merely in visionary or clairaudient experiences. You can spend time developing the ability to connect with and understand these realms, but they can be confusing. It isn't always easy to know where the information comes from.
The most powerful form of intuition, and the one I recommend people develop first, is the ability to feel intuitively. This means being able to relax fully into the body and into the present moment, releasing all expectation and fear, and allowing a feeling for the thing they are trying to understand to arise within them.
As for “nasties”, the truth is that all humans are entangled with other consciousness fields. Most of these are from living family members, friends, partners. Projections from discarnate entities are actually far less of a problem. And at any rate, whether the energy is from an embodied or disembodied being makes little difference. It is all pretty much the same. If you develop an awareness of such things, it won't cause any more entanglements to occur, as long as you don't create a “drama” out of it, by going into judgment, condemnation or fear. But it does make life more problematic, which is why I don't think it's a good idea for most people to explore psychic projections, unless they have a strong “calling” to do so (such as in my case). Instead, stay grounded in presence.
Much of this psychic stuff is about power and control over others. But it is not a simple “good vs bad” scenario as in, say, Christian folklore. The nature of these psychic interactions is unconscious, and reflects our own psychological and spiritual “issues”. For example, if your consciousness field is being heavily manipulated by a certain man (via unconscious projections), you may have abandonment issues which means that you are “inviting” his energy in to “save” you.
Again, the best protection against such energy is to ground yourself fully in the body. It is when parts of ourselves become disconnected that we open up “holes” in our aura which allow other projections to affect us.
Now a lot of this stuff happened when I was younger, and my visionary side is defiantly not like it used to be. Nevertheless some of this stuff still scares the crap out of me, so I am always torn between knowing and not knowing.
If you are present, and your energy fully in the body, there is little place for fear. Fear normally emerges from thinking about an imagined future. It is rarely about what is actually happening.
I’m in my fifties now and with age has come wisdom and cynicism. So I seem to forever jump between these feelings depending on how desperate, unwell, optimistic or courageous I feel.
All these feelings emerge from the mind – or ego if you want to use that term. The key is to be able to develop the right relationship with the thinking mind, so that there is a witnessing of the thoughts, not an identification with them.
I strongly suggest you spend some time developing a greater capacity for presence.
I live in (place name removed) and on one of your YouTube video’s you said you spent some time here and you came a cross some people that taught you some spiritual teachings. Where do you find these people? I’m not even sure where there are authentic people out here anymore? ( I know, that sounds terrible )
That was back in the 90s, and I no longer have contact with anyone there. Still, there are many people in the world who are well-intentioned and wise. But nobody is perfect, and you should not define people by their limitations. It's true that there are also many in healing and spiritual circles who are best avoided. But that might be, say 10-20%. There's always something you can learn from others, even if it is how NOT to do something!
The key with spiritual groups and teachers is not to give your power away to them. Develop the ability to stand in your own power.
You can do this by making presence the foundation of your life.
Now I know you must charge a service fee for your guidance. I have just recently left 2 jobs in a row because my health has been failing me somewhat, so I don’t have a lot of money and have to be wise where I use it. However I’m wondering if you have a sliding scale for your fees. It’s cheeky I know, but If I don’t ask, I’ll never get.
(Here I simply offered her a session at 50% normal cost).
You might also like to read one or both of my books Discover Your Soul Template of Champion of the Soul. You can find them on Amazon. Champion of the Soul is an ebook only. These books go into more detail about the kind of things I have mentioned here.
I hope that helps.
All the best,