Video Source: TED
Our cultural conversation about sex is extremely limited. We leave out the most important aspect – discussions about enjoying sex and actually receiving pleasure from it – especially for girls. Peggy Ornstein has been researching young women’s sexual lives for years now and she has learned that while teenagers and young women feel more empowered to have sex these days, that empowerment doesn’t seem to carry over into them getting what they want out of sex.
And they are also engaging in sexual activities that are dangerous for their health without considering the real ramifications.With this Ted Talk, Peggy Ornstein, seeks to change our cultural approach to female sexuality. She says that our negative cultural, self-image around the female genitalia is causing women to feel insecure in the sexual arena and to care more about how she looks to another than how she feels in her own body.
With this Ted Talk, Peggy Ornstein, seeks to change our cultural approach to female sexuality. She says that our negative cultural, self-image around the female genitalia is causing women to feel insecure in the sexual arena and to care more about how she looks to another than how she feels in her own body.
Some girls and women are even doing something called a labiaplasty just to look like “Barbie” – a plastic doll – despite the fact that there are dangerous side effects and sexual pleasure is likely to be vastly reduced.
Peggy Ornstein points out that young women are more likely to define good sex as sex something that is good for their partner, while young men define good sex by their own orgasm and pleasure.
A big percentage of young girls even tolerate pain as part of their sexual experience.
And our educational system has built-in inequities too. It generally encourages men to know and name their genitals while only telling women about their reproductive organs, their period and unwanted pregnancy.
Peggy reminds us that orgasm and pleasure is a huge part of healthy sex. What if we all “lost our virginity” when we had our first orgasm, not our first penetrative intercourse.
This is clearly an American issue. Studies of Dutch girls shows that they know how to have sex with pleasure and mutuality. Why? Because their doctors, parents, and educators talked to them candidly about sex.
We need a positive dialogue around sex. Not just pregnancy prevention and potential risks, but also, discussions of pleasure, dignity, true intimacy and mutuality.
