When we ask ourselves if we are honest people, most of us would like to think that we are and answer (kinda) wholeheartedly “yes”. And the reason for that would most likely be because we consider honesty a virtue and for that, we’d be right. But I really wanted to write on this topic for a while, because I think that many times honesty gets under-rated, over-rated and frankly just downright misunderstood. Especially in this day and age when speaking the truth over the preferred narrative is often met with harsh disregard.
If you’re anything like me, you would take a cold, hard slap of the truth any day of the week over a warm, soft lie. And by that I mean, you aren’t the type of person that can’t handle the emotional maturity it takes to deal with the “heavy shit” life can throw at you sometimes. And this isn’t to judge anyone because trust me, there have been plenty of times when I was the one who thought they couldn’t handle shit and literally thought the Universe had a vendetta against me. Somehow, we all get through.
But what I’m getting at here is, I personally cherish the respect it shows a person has for you when they can trust you enough with dealing with reality as it is. They aren’t taking it upon themselves to give you an altered, watered-down version of it just to protect your feelings. Now, if you outwardly are the type that would rather be on a “need know” basis, then that’s different.
Most people, however I believe would rather be informed and treated as if they have the conscious awareness and mental capacity to make sound choices with the truth of the situation at hand. And yes, I am definitely one of those people.
So, that is one type of way we might “justify the lie”; in that we act to protect those we love from knowing the truth of a possible horrible situation. Again, this does not refer to meaningless details that would just act to hurt, scar, etc for no positive and/or beneficial reason at all and especially not if it only serves a purpose to cause pain. I speak solely of information that deters anyone from making a fully educated choice about the current situation or relationship they are in at the time. Any truth that if brought to light might cause the person in the dark to change the status per se.
Another example is when we lie to ourselves. We may have made promises to a loved one or to ourselves that we’d improve on some behavior that’s been affecting our lives in a negative way, but perhaps deep down there’s that voice you know so well already signing the papers of failure? How do we turn the dial so instead of listening to that degrading station, we tune into something a bit more encouraging? Something that perhaps motivates us into our own truth, rather than staying stuck in the lies of our past conditioning.
This is always the choice isn’t is? How many layers of the onion are we willing to peel away? Each one gets scarier and scarier and more real. Things get harder to hide and our true selves become clearer as we allow our unraveling to bring flood after flood of tears as we kick and scream not to grow; not to be…honest. We may have sadly convinced ourselves that the lie itself is “for the greater good.”
But eventually, later on, down the path life calls to you and all you hear is your Truth. You can tune everything else out. And you realize that the lie you kept telling over and over was only a fight to avoid one thing and one thing only. And that is the giving TO yourself the LOVE you did not receive & continue to seek in others. When you do this, your eyes will sort of glaze over with a new filter. You literally are blessed with new eyes…three of them, in fact..and those that SEE will understand that. 🙂 Those that quite do not, please look up the “Pineal Gland” as I’ve come to find that going inward (meditation) with the resonance of Self-Love (Acceptance, Peace, I AM…) is a very effective way to assist in cracking wide open this third eye of yours.
We also lie to just to keep things interesting, don’t we? We all know the rush of beginnings and how awesome “new” things are because they (over) stimulate the senses with that new car smell and we sort of getting to relive our story over again if we are meeting a new love interest or friend. If we suffer from low self-esteem, keeping this rush going requires dishonesty, not only to those you love but also to yourself. We may find ourselves hopping from relationship to relationship because we fear people ever seeing the real us, or furthermore because we haven’t even seen the real us ourselves yet and perhaps are a little terrified at what that might look like.
Eventually, like air, underwater all truths rise to the surface and when you can unearth your own crap and turn it into fertilizer, it’s actually one of the greatest catalysts for growth. As we refer back to ourselves as the trusty onion, full of layers of emotion and conditioning, let us also be reminded of the light that is within every single particle. Because in the end, it is not the lies we remember, but the truth of the moments full of love, forgiveness, appreciation, acceptance, and grace. Now those are matters that matter.
Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, a heart-centered Graphic Designer, and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com
Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.
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