How To Boost Your Sexual Desire For Your Partner

Written by on February 7, 2018 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 4 Comments

sexual desire with partner-compressed

By Jordan Gray | Good Men Project

Jordan Gray gives you seven unique ways to boost your libido and keep your relationship red hot. 

Sexual desire for your partner ebbs and flows depending on your mood, the season, and how much effort you’ve been putting into your relationship lately.

It’d be all too easy to blame waning sexual desire on the fact that you’ve been together for X number of months/years/decades… but really, sexual desire only drops in relationships when the relationship hasn’t been made a priority in a while. It isn’t time that’s to blame, it’s the effort that’s being consciously put into the relationship.

Related Article: Slow Sex: How To Magnify Your Sexual Pleasure

Having felt the pain of being the low-libido partner in some of my relationships years ago, I know how valuable it would have been to be able to get my hands on my body’s sexual desire dimmer switch. Through working through the issue in my own life, I discovered some surefire ways to rev up my sexual desire for my partner. After passing on my methods to dozens of my private coaching clients and seeing them get the same (if not better) results, I knew I had to pass this information on to others.

So without further ado…

Here are seven ways that you can boost your libido and increase your sexual desire on command.

1. Remove your sexual blocks

Nothing decreases overall sexual desire more than having unresolved internal sexual blocks.

Whether you have sexual trauma from a past experience or experiences, heightened performance anxiety, or grew up with a lot of feedback from your parents/friends/community that sex was something dirty, sinful, or wrong in some way… sexual blocks stop your sexual desire upstream.

It certainly isn’t impossible to have a high libido with unresolved sexual blocks, but sex is often so much more fulfilling, connected, and blissful when we can show up in bed as we truly are without having to hide behind our blocks.

Whether you do private research, work with a registered sex therapist, or talk to a specialized coach, acknowledging and working through your sexual blocks is the first step in increasing your sexual desire for your partner (or for sex in general).

2. Wake up your body

With how plugged in we are in modern society (with technology being a constant in our daily lives) it can often feel like we are just a head with hands. We’re so in our heads that we often feel disconnected from our bodies and our hearts. And while I discussed reconnecting with your heart (by removing your sexual blocks) in point #1, it is equally as important to reconnect with your body.

So how exactly do you reconnect with your body? Move. Go for walks. Exercise. Get massages. Masturbate regularly (not necessarily to orgasm… but simply to get in the habit of experiencing pleasure with your body). Pamper yourself by having a regular bath so you can feel the water rippling against your flesh.

Related Article: This Simple (Unavoidable) Form of Foreplay Can Ignite Your Sex Life

Soon enough, you’ll move with more confidence, you’ll feel less stressed day to day, and your sexual desire will increase. Wake up to your body, drop out of your mind and into your feeling, sensual self, and your sex life will thank you.

3. Take orgasms off of the table

This isn’t the first time I’ve talked about limiting orgasms on my site (ahem)… but this time is a little bit different.

I’ve seen orgasms cause a lot of anxiety in my clients sex lives (both male and female).

It’s most often my male clients being concerned with helping their female partner orgasm “enough” times so that they feel satisfied. Or my female clients often stress about whether or not they’ll achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex with their partner.

My advice? Take orgasms off the table. Make it so that they aren’t an option on certain nights (or during specific sexual play sessions).

(Note: One of my clients calls these times with her husband their “No O time.”)

By taking orgasms out of the picture, you and your partner are free to fully experience the cyclical sexual pleasure that your bodies naturally want to feel without it being a goal-centric endeavour. If you’ve never experienced extended sexual play without orgasms I highly recommend giving it a shot. It’s beautiful, relaxing, calming, and a supremely connecting exercise for you and your partner.

4. Embrace new stimulation and novelty in your bedroom 

While routines can make us feel safe and secure in our sex lives, too much predictability can kill our sexual desire. If you can predict your partners every move then it might be time to mix things up a bit.

It doesn’t even have to be something as novel as light bondage or kinky sex… even starting by decorating your room differently (for example, using a new scented candle that you both enjoy) can make a difference in terms of making your sexual play feel new. Other things you can do try out would be giving your partner an extended body massage, putting on your favourite music (whether it’s classic rock, instrumental guitar music, electronic, or any other genre is up to you), or putting on lingerie or buying them a new outfit you want them to wear.

Related Article: Women: Here Are 15 Things He Wants In the Bedroom (#8 Is Pretty Controversial)

Bottom line: mix it up. Novelty is king when it comes to stirring up sexual desire.


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4 Reader Comments

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  1.' Marlene Acabado De Leon says:

    Yeah ! When you desire ,it’s not all about lust , it’s about that beautiful feeling in your heart and that is LOVE , because no matter what happens , it’s always the Heart that matter most …GOD bless ! ?

  2.' Anne-Marie Isabelle Christiane Guyard-Rasmussen says:

    boost your desire of yourself first when conscious of your own desire so will it too of your partner…….if love is there for both it will stay……

  3.' Bunny Brando says:

    Google cunnilingus, if your man won’t learn to do it right then dump him

  4.' Shawn Race says:

    I could care less about sex at this point.

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