By Denise Hill | Life Hack
Every parent wants their kids to be successful. It is the purest wish a parent can have. Making this wish a reality is an entirely different matter.
So what ensures a child’s success? Are some kids genetically predisposed to do better than others or are the parents completely on the hook for ensuring their children achieve their goals? It’s the old nature versus nurture debate–which has been raging since the beginning of time.
Regardless of your inclination on the subject or which side of the debate you find yourself –there is no denying that successful parenting plays a major role in producing stellar kids. Parenting that is ineffective–regardless of the natural intellect and aptitude of a child–can result in behavior issues, delinquency, criminality, and academic problems. Good parenting is an essential requirement for producing high achieving children.
What Successful parenting looks like
There is no set recipe for raising kids. Psychologists have found a few common threads of successful parenting:
1. Kids are assigned regular chores
Research shows that when children are given chores at an early age it cultivates in them a sense of responsibility, self-reliance, and mastery.
At a Ted Talk event, Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University and author of “How to Raise an Adult” conveyed the idea that kids raised on chores go on to be collaborative coworkers, more empathetic– as they truly understand and have endured struggles. They also are able to work on tasks with minimal hand-holding.
Related Article: The Top 10 Things Children Really Want Their Parents to Do with Them
When using chores to build your child’s character, researchers caution that chores and allowance be kept separate. Studies show that external rewards can actually lower intrinsic motivation.
2. High expectations are established
Having realistically high expectations for kids is essential to successful parenting. More often than not, children rise to the expectations set for them. The trick is to set the bar high enough that your kids do have to stretch for it but keeping it in the realm of possibilities.
For example, kids who have parents that expect them to go to college–usually do. Parents manage the child in a way that nurtures academic achievement while their kids work to maintain good grades so they can go to college. Establishing realistically high expectations points to your children in the direction of success.
3. Good coping skills are developed
Children have to be taught to manage anger, delay gratification and properly handle conflict in order to achieve success. A lack of healthy coping strategies can lead to health and well-being concerns in children.
4. Children are given room to fail
A parent’s job is to manage and minimize risk–not to eliminate it. Successful parenting involves understanding that failure is a big part of success. And while this may sound counter-intuitive, research shows that more is gleaned from failure than success. Hanging back and giving children room to fail is very difficult for most parents but is essential. Successful failures assist in developing your child’s character, resilience, and overall competence.
Related Article: New Study Finds Key to Raising Moral Kids Lies in These Two Parental Qualities
5. Social skills are developed
In today’s world, social intelligence is just as important as intellect. A study spanning 20 years and involving the tracking of 700 kids found that those that are socially competent were more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job by the time they turned 25.
Successful parenting ensures that kids learn to be cooperative in their peer-to-peer relationships, helpful and able to empathize with others intuitively and without prompting.
