By Jordan Gray | Jordan Gray Consulting
Whether you’re single, dating, or married, keeping some key female-friendly products in the nightstand will help you out in your sex life.
Thoughtfulness is not only sexy, but it’s one of the main ingredients in any thriving intimate relationship. Anticipating and providing for her needs makes your partner feel loved and cared for. Which, ultimately, is what anyone wants to feel with their partner.
“But what will she think of me for keeping all of this stuff around my home. Won’t she judge me for being a bit of a slut?”
Maybe. If so, that’s just her own insecurities and judgmental mind talking. She may also appreciate how proactive you are in setting up your home to be that much more comfortable for her.
The real message behind you having these items on hand is that you’re a mindful, considerate person. You care about your partner’s comfort and want her to feel welcome in your home.
If she has an adverse reaction to you having an open box of tampons in your place, remember that it has nothing to do with you. But don’t be righteous, defensive, or reactive. Her having such a response would be natural and understandable. Hold space and dig a little deeper. But if she can’t come around to see your good intentions around after a well-managed conversation and a little time, you may want to consider a more appreciative and mature partner.
Never take it personally and make yourself feel wrong for such things. Stand behind your decisions. It’s not likely you’ll have to justify anything. But if you do, you don’t have to say, “Yeah, I keep this stuff around just in case a random one-night stand pops into my life.” Instead, you can say something casual (and honest) like, “Hey, I have ____ just in case you’d like some. Let me know if you need anything else, I want you to feel comfortable and have everything you need here.”
On that note, your partner might want completely different items around the house. Pay attention to what she likes, and directly ask her what she needs. As always, calibration is key. Customize your stock list to suit your individual partner.
For now, here’s my list of nine thoughtful things every man shoulder consider having in his nightstand. Not all of these items are steamy and sexual. Some just cover the basic realities of being a female (#5 and #7 specifically).
9 Thoughtful Things Every Man Needs In His Nightstand
1. Toothbrushes
Keeping a stash of extra (unopened) toothbrushes is perfect if you’re in a phase of your life where you may be attracting new sexual partners. Who knows! These partners might want to a sleepover but not be prepared with an overnight bag. If you’re in the early phases of dating, this is a must-have. I mean, these toothbrushes can also just be on hand for any friend or dinner guest who wants to freshen up, if you really want to be a next-level host.
We can all feel shy about kissing without feeling like we have fresh breath, and that especially goes for new relationships. Eliminate any mental barriers to intimacy by keeping a spare pack of soft/extra-soft brushes (only psychopaths/would-be-murderers use anything firmer than that).
2. Wet wipes
Wet wipes are insanely handy and versatile. They’re great for wiping up sperm, quick hand sanitation, wiping down sex toys to prep for easier deep cleaning later, etc. Sometimes you don’t want to interrupt the sexual afterglow by getting up to hit the washroom. Wet wipes buy you a bit of extra time to relax and cuddle, or just drift off to sleep, without having to physically disconnect.
3. Massage oil
With some quality massage oil on hand, you’re always ready to spontaneously create an ultra-sensual experience, or have either person spoil the other with some loving touch.
An upscale sex shop will have a good selection of massage oils. But honestly, you’re just as well off making your own by infusing organic coconut oil with some high-quality essential oils. It’s cheap, skin-friendly, and customizable. If you go this route, keep the heat very low and only add a few drops of your oil-of-choice. Find an attractive reusable jar or tin to keep it in.
4. Vibrator
For some women, vibrators are key in unlocking their (clitoral) orgasmic potential. At the very least, it is a different sensation than the feeling of fingers or a mouth.
When it comes to toy shopping, you have a ton of options at your disposal. Vibrators are made for solo play and for couples, and they come in all shapes and sizes. You can get something that’s designed for the clitoris, G-spot, anus, or a combination of either. If she’s familiar with them, have her show you how she likes to use it so you can take the lead to mix things up in the future.
There are a lot of options, and most women will have specific preferences about what shape, strength and vibratory patterns work for them. There’s no need to break the bank, or your brain, trying to get the perfect one. Start with something basic and entry-level. You can always upgrade later once you discuss it with your partner.
Alternatively, you can get a vibrating penis sleeve so you and your partner can achieve pleasure together. The penis sleeve is a toy that is worn over the man’s organ to increase girth and length and can come in various sizes, shapes, and colors. Some penis sleeves also include a vibrating feature for heightened sensation. It’s an excellent toy to enjoy intimacy together.
5. Tampons of varying sizes
This one is pretty standard. Getting caught during her cycle without flow control is some women’s worst nightmares. Most women have their tampon program dialed in (and may very well likely already have their favorite brand in their purse), but life happens, periods come early, and you might as well eliminate the risk by having some options on hand.
She will most likely be very particular about what she uses, but, if you’re in a newer relationship, you might not know what she uses yet. You simply want something as close to universal as possible. For the rare time that these will be needed, most women won’t mind using something that isn’t their style or brand of tampon or pad while they go to the store to get something that might be more their style (organic… unbleached… light… super… Diva cups… the options are endless).
The amount of tiny options in the tampon aisle is utterly overwhelming. Pads, cups, tampons, and applicators – in all varieties of size, make and quality. To make it easier on you, eliminate pads and cups from your list of options. Tampons are the go-to, universal quick fix. Cups are pricier and personal, and pads, for many, are a thing of the past.
Tampon tip: “size” has nothing to do with the dimensions of her vagina. It’s about absorption ability. Make this part of the shopping trip easier on you and just grab the first small variety pack you see from a natural brand. She might need to use a larger size for the first day of her period, and a smaller one for the fourth day of her period… so having a variety of size options on hand is ideal.
6. Condoms
Along with toothbrushes, condoms are the bread and butter of the nightstand menu. The specific brand and type that you want to come down to personal preference and a bit of trial-and-error. You’ll need to experiment to find the right fit and feel.
For now, keep it simple and avoid anything advertising strange textures, numbing, tingling, heating, or cooling sensations, as they could make either of you physically uncomfortable. Thinner options are always nice to naturally increase how much you can feel. If you’ve had some kicking around for a while, always throw them out and buy a fresh batch. You should find an expiry date on the package, and on each individual condom.
