7 Bedtime Routines for Better Intimacy (& More Love-Making)

By Jordan Gray | Jordan Gray Consulting

Whenever a couple comes to me looking to be proactive about their relationship (aka they’re doing just fine, but they want to make some small improvements), I always ask them about what their night time routines look like.

Inevitably, the usual suspects are mentioned…

They brush their teeth, climb into bed around a similar time, read books and/or scroll through their cell phones, they give each other a quick peck on the lips and they fall asleep.

What we do in bed at night has such a far reaching effect on the rest of our relationship. Adapt some of these small behaviors and you’ll have a more deeply connected and fulfilling relationship in no time.

Related Article: Tantric Intimacy & Sex: Why It’s Important

Here are seven bedtime routines for greater intimacy in your relationship.

1. Phones away

Not only is having zero electronic light in your bedroom fantastic for your sleep hygiene, it’s also great for your relationship.

I know how addictive the dopamine drip of social media can be, but staring at that blue light right before bed is bad news for your love life.

(And seriously… having zero electronic light in your bedroom works wonders for the quality of sleep that you’ll be able to get when you switch to candles-only).

Turn your phones off, light a candle or two, and prioritize your connection with your partner for just a few minutes before you doze off.

What should you do with those extra minutes? Read on…

2. Sleep naked

Sleeping naked has proven health benefits (it regulates cortisol, better for men’s and women’s genital health, better for your skin, etc.) and it also allows you and your partner to have more skin on skin contact, resulting in more oxytocin release.

Your body benefits, your quality of sleep benefits, and your cuddling ability is boosted.

Plus, morning sex is that much easier when you both wake up naked! Being naked is where it’s at.

Related Article: 10 Practical & Pleasurable Reasons Why You Should Be Having Morning Sex

3. Extended cuddling

It’s been proven that extended cuddling releases large hits of oxytocin (aka the cuddle hormone/the love hormone).

Some people say that reading a book or scrolling through their Facebook feed makes them drowsy before bed. Well, guess what? Cuddling does that even better than reading, plus it re-connects you with your partner physically and emotionally before you pass out.

Bring back the cuddles!

4. Massage

Speaking of touch, sometimes you want lots of it.

Maybe you had a rough day. Maybe someone yelled at you (because they were hurting). Maybe your shoulders are sore from trying out a new kind of kick-boxing class that you did earlier in the day.

Whatever your reasons are for wanting to receive or give more touch, massage is a great tool for both connection and relaxation.

Related Article: 9 Surprisingly Simple Lessons In Intimacy From Tantric Sex

You don’t need to have taken a class or be masterful at it to give your partner a rub down… just use your words to ask them if they want it harder/softer/gentler/etc. and you’ll be on your way to a sleepy town in no time.

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