By
I’m a 41 year-old man.
Until recently, when a woman over 40 checked out my dating profile, the first thought that always popped in my head was “too old”–and then I quickly moved on.
I would literally think, “Why is she checking me out; we’re not even in the same generation.”I shared this revelation with my friend Heather who is in her 30’s and she challenged me:
“You ARE over 40 Alex. Your age range is from 26-41. Why do you date younger women but not women your own age?”
But they’re not my own age, I still thought to myself. They’re old–and I’m not.
(Can we say… self-delusional?)
I told her that I’ve always been attracted to younger women. But it definitely made me wonder, why do men, particularly as we age tend to go for younger women?
Is it because of Youthfulness, Looks, Energy, Vitality, Playfulness?
Based on our conversation, and just for kicks, I switched my age range to an upper limit of 45 and… lo and behold! It was like entering a secret vortex of hotness:
Women over 40.
I was a pioneer in unchartered territory, and these lands were certainly exotic, to say the least. I’m a visual guy–and I was definitely seeing visions! But I was noticing a lot more than just beautiful sights.
They were confident! They were direct! They were liberated! And they were HOT!
Incredibly hot!
Let’s see if I can distinguish some of the qualities I found so alluring in women over 40 that are often missing in women in their 20’s and 30’s:
1) Confidence
They have some major life experiences. Usually, they’ve already been through a marriage, parenthood and probably a divorce.
Having hocked their “golden ticket” (i.e., marriage)–the claimed key to all of their dreams and fantasies–they now realize that if it’s to be, it’s up to me.
They no longer need a man to fill some void in their life; they know what they want, and they’re not afraid to go after it! They are also comfortable in their own skin. They don’t do the whole bullshit routine that unmarried women do in their 20’s and 30’s.
They’re no longer trying to be the woman that will attract the man. They know their value, and they own their beauty, which radiates from the inside-out.
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Having won and lost many battles, and having sometimes given too much in past relationships, they have learned to maintain the delicate balance between giving and receiving (i.e., they can sniff out the takers with a single whiff).
2) Direct
Many women in their 20’s/30’s allow men to transgress their boundaries–constantly–without sticking up for themselves. You will NOT see a woman over 40 make this mistake very often.
Here’s how the scenario often plays out.
Both groups might get somewhat angry, but they do so in very different ways. Women in their 20’s/30’s will most likely grin and bear it at first, hoping that their guy understands the subtle hints and psychic messages that are being sent in his general direction (feel free to laugh now).
But as time goes on and their needs go unmet, the resentment builds until–BOOM!–they react and the switch is flipped from passive to aggressive.
Often, they will justify their over-reactions by blaming their partner for not acting appropriately. Let’s just call this the indirect approach.
Women in their 40’s, by contrast, use the direct approach. When something doesn’t feel right, they lay down the law, upfront, and set clear boundaries for the future.
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But here’s the real beauty: after they’ve spoken their peace, they’re done. The slate is wiped clean, and everything is hunky-dory again. Let that soak in for a moment.
No future backlashes. No re-hashing it a week (or several weeks) later.
It’s really over.
Love. Is. Present.
IS THAT REVOLUTIONARY, OR WHAT?
(Unless, of course, you’re stupid enough to transgress their boundary a second time; in which case, you are probably done.) It’s an amazing quality! And it’s incredibly healthy–for all parties involved.
No drama, just communication. Now, we could get into why women in their 20’s and 30’s use the indirect approach.
But, that could (and should!) be an article unto itself. I will merely say that they are afraid – of what exactly, I don’t know, but it probably has something to do with not wanting to rock the boat or create conflict within the relationship.
Hy i’m katherine like my post follow me i will follow you. i’m making new friends…..
Josephine Pedraja Lopez
Girls over 40 up are more matured, open-minded & dangerous.
Yes. I. Do
Heather Thompson there you go
Lol and eww.
helllllllllllllllllllllllll yes lol
omg there are some hot older women. some you just want to germ all up inside them, js. hey I’m a guy! I love them
Men do too, i like at least 10y olda than me
Yes in many cases but genetics matter.
Definitely. Says this 43 soon to be 44 year old :0)
Yes
Yup
Love the old bags..
This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS ‘ 60 Minutes. ‘
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, ” What are you thinking ? ” She doesn’t care what you think.
Nor will she whine if she doesn’t want to watch the game. She will do something she wants to do. And, it is usually something more interesting. She knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn about what you might think about her or what she is doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self assurance to introduce you to to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. A woman over 30 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends, because she knows her friends will not betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.
A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one ! You don’t ever have to worry about where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22 year old waitress.
Ladies I apologise.
For all those men who say, ” Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free “. Here’s an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why ? Because women realise it’s not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.
Yes, yes, YES!!!
No not really. Maybe on an emotional level or something like that but as far as physical attractions go they are definitely not.
No
Agree
I fully agree
Well hell yea!