“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” — Carroll Bryant
Head Over Heels
20 years ago I married my school sweetheart. Yeah, we got married young (I was just about to turn 21 and he was 23) but we were head over heels in love and had been dating for over 4 years. We just knew it was the real deal and we were unstoppable.
We had many hurdles to overcome in our early years of marriage as we were still growing into our adulthood but, luckily, we survived the bumpy ride and the trying times made our connection even stronger.
Sometimes love alone doesn't guarantee a lasting relationship — successful entanglement comprises of many things.
Read related article here: 5 Fundamental Steps to a Thriving Relationship
In the article above, I discussed 5 important steps to a healthy, loving partnership which covered:
- ‘I love you'
- ‘thank you'
I highly recommend you read the fluffy bits of this article as they are uber important if you want to nurture your happily ever after.
Taking the Sour with the Sweet
Relationships never stop growing and mutating — I learn something new about my partner every day (especially as we both work from home and are in each others space 24/7 — funny thing is, I wouldn't have it any other way!). It's exciting and can also be, at some times, eye-opening — as in ‘wow, I didn't know that about you‘.
Yup, revelations still happen many years into a relationship.
There are always ups and downs — there's no candy-coating that fact. We're all growing and learning all of the time (with a bit of luck), it's especially trying in these auspicious times as we quicken into a global spiritual awakening. Relationships are going through the ringer!
The real trick is to always try remember to view things from all relative perspectives. There are a few more points I'd like to pick over, things I've discovered over these 2 decades of marital bliss:
- Perception — this is a tricky little blighter as we are so used to seeing things through our own perspective. We must always remember that everyone has their own version of the truth and it pays to put yourself in someone else's shoes every once in a while. You've got to honestly ask yourself if you are being fair in viewing someone or something from a multi-dimensional standpoint.
- ‘I'm Sorry' — it's a prudent practice to admit your mistakes — especially to your partner. It really sucks when you have a one-sided relationship with a know-it-all. Humility goes a long way and it strengthens that trust muscle for you in your partner. Never be too proud to say you're sorry or to acknowledge that you may have stuffed up.
- Tolerance — there are junctions in a relationship where you may need to concede and ‘agree to disagree‘. Your partner is entitled to their opinion just as much as you are. No-one has to convert anyone else to their truth. Your real test in this situation is to have tolerance and non-judgment — it goes a long way and shows a sense of maturity that your partner will appreciate.
- Detachment — now this is a strange attribute to put in a discussion about relationships. Aren't partnerships supposed to be about being attached? Yes and no. You work together as a team constantly but you must have respect for your partners privacy. Every person needs a bit of space to explore their own sense of self and that should be respected. Therefore, practice detachment every now and again with your partner in a loving manner. Allow them to have unquestionable space and time alone without feeling hurt or rejected or making them feel guilty. You may discover that you need this periodic freedom too. It is not healthy to be so attached to someone that you forget where you end and they begin. It may be a romantic notion in a novel or movie to be so inseparable that you're two halves of one unit. In my experience, you need to be a complete unit and your partner needs to be a one too — there are no half measures! You both need to be whole and independent before you enter into co-dependency — a bit of a dichotomy at first but well understood when you enter a serious commitment.
- Patience — remember that old adage, ‘love is patient'? It's true — when you love someone you will periodically need to exercise patience — let things unfold naturally without unnecessary force. That's how you grow as a couple.
I hope these tips help you to step up your game and keep your relationships healthy and thriving!
Read related article: 7 Clues You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
Cherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.
To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you clickHERE.
Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie onFacebook (The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She also has just recently launched her official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates).
Cherie posts a new article on CLN every Thursday. To view her articles, click HERE.
This article (5 Key Factors to a Lasting Relationship) was originally written for and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author Cherie Roe Dirksen and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.