By Brendan Baker | The Start of Happiness
If you want to learn how to manage stress, then this post is for you! Last week we delved into what is stress and why you might be experiencing it more than others. Now it’s time to get into some seriously epic strategies for helping you manage stress.
As this is such a big topic and affects every single one of us, this has become one epic post that outlines a number of strategies that actually work. In fact, it’s ended up being a huge 3,500 words! But don’t let this turn you off… this is the post on stress that needs to be read by everyone. Some of these strategies you might already know and others will hopefully shift your perspective on managing stress.
I want to open this up with a comment that was received on last week’s post. Trevor of A Call to Action mentioned that ‘stress is not something to be avoided… just something to be managed’.
This is exactly right. Trevor, you absolutely nailed it. Every single person on this planet experiences a degree of stress in their life. As we explored last week, a key factor in the levels of stress that you experience is related to the level of experience you have given a particular situation.
Knowing this, I bet you can imagine what one of the best ways of managing stress is… let me firm that up for you in a little bit.
But first, why should you manage your stress levels?
Why should you be managing your stress levels?
I quickly want to touch base on the need for managing stress. A couple of weeks ago I posted how there is scientific proof showing that ‘worry’ can actually be a healthy thing. Worrying can actually help us become more productive and most importantly it can help us to problem-solve. If you don’t worry, you wouldn’t have any problems to solve! And complacency is not as great as it may seem.
However, what I alluded to was the level of worry. Obviously, once worrying takes on a bigger emotional state it becomes stress and this does need to be managed.
You need to manage your stress levels to ensure you remain healthy – both emotionally and physically. Stress can lead to symptoms such as:
- Memory problems
- Inability to concentrate
- Negative thoughts
- Short temper
- Weight gain or loss
- Sleeping more or less
- Aches and pains
- Loss of sex drive
- Procrastination
- Increased usage of alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or other stimulus to help you relax
- Increased sense of isolation and feelings of loneliness
- Depression and general unhappiness
- … and more.
All of these symptoms can lead to higher blood pressure and strains on your body, reduced performance at work, worsened relationships and more. What does this all mean?
It’s quite simple.
Stress needs to be managed.
The thing is, a lot of people don’t know how to actually manage stress. The fact that you’re here now, reading this post already gives you an advantage.
You’re building your emotional intelligence – your ability to be able to understand yourself, your emotions and its impact on others. You’re also learning how to then recognise these emotions such as stress and put measures in place to reduce this feeling… well you haven’t got to this yet… but let’s get into it now!
How to Manage Stress in 17 Effective Ways
1. Identify the Source(s) of Stress in Your Life
The first thing you need to understand is ‘what are the sources of your stress?’ Is it your work? Is it a relationship? Is it that you drank too much? Is it a looming deadline? Is it uncertainty around the future?
Gaining clarity on the source of stress will then help you work out how to manage it. This is where you can pick any of the below strategies to eliminate the stress in your life.
2. Remove the Stress From Your Life
Are you able to remove the stress from your life or at least move away from it? Sometimes this can be difficult depending on the need of a given situation, however if you can remove the source of the stress then this is an obvious choice.
An example may be that a particular person stresses you out. If possible, avoid seeing them for a while until the dust settles or until you feel reasonable.
Another example may be working a side job while also working full-time. If you feel overwhelmed and that you are getting stressed due to the workload, it might be time to pull the plug, say no or at least have a break for a while from one of your areas of responsibility.
You often hear about how when someone stops doing a particular task that they have been doing for a while that it is a huge weight lifted off their shoulders. It just might be the best thing that you can do for yourself.
3. Know Yourself
This is simple when said but perhaps more difficult to put in to reality. But knowing yourself is fundamental for being able to understand your stressors and being able to manage them.
When I say know yourself, this is about understanding what makes you happy and what your values are. Your values should be dictating your priorities and if they’re not then this will most likely be a huge cause of stress for you.
Stop and reflect and make sure that the things that you are doing in your life are the things that you actually want to be doing in your life. If they’re not, then you need to ask yourself the question ‘why?’.
Knowing yourself and how you operate also helps you to understand what situations require what methods for reducing stress.
For example, I sometimes get stressed when I am public speaking however I have learned that deep breathing is an effective technique that works in this situation. Yet, on the other hand, if I’m stressed because of huge workload then I may need to use a combination of different stress management techniques, such as saying ‘no’ to people, exercising more or taking a holiday.
Related Article:Want to Better Understand Yourself? Know Your Moon Sign! Here’s How
If you have taken the Change Your Life course then you’ll know some of the best strategies for finding what makes you happy and what you can do to focus on achieving success in your pursuits in life.
4. Just Do It!
This has got to be one of the most effective stress management techniques I do and it’s probably the most straight-forward.
Depending on what your stressor is, just face it head on!
For example, if I’m stressed about doing a particular task (eg presenting to the CEO) then the best way to manage is it to just get up there and do it! 99% of the time it is never as stressful as I expect it to be.
Similarly, again with high workloads you might find that you start to have memory problems or the inability to concentrate. One of the most effective strategies is to simply just knuckle down and go step-by-step through the process. It’s a matter of losing yourself in the moment and forgetting about the other thousand things you need to do.
Prioritise, get one thing done and then move to the next thing. Before you know it, you’ll be ticking off huge amounts of your ‘to-do’ list.
5. Accept the Things You Can’t Change
It’s time to get a little deep. Stress is often caused by outside influences such as the economy, society, a death in a family, business restructures and so forth.
Again, this strategy is easier said than done but it’s about accepting the things that you can’t change.
If the economy is broke, jobs are being lost and the financial markets are down there is no need to put blame on anyone or to even try change the situation. The best thing is to be able to accept the things you can’t change and work with what is in your locus of control.
Accepting the things that you can’t change is the first step in then being able to move forward with actions that are in your area of control.
6. Talk With Someone
An old, tried and tested method of managing stress is to simply talk with someone. We are all human beings and we all have emotional needs. We also all have the desire to help one another and when you need it most, don’t be afraid to ask someone for help.
Having another perspective on a given situation might completely change the way that you look at it. This could potentially be the best thing you can do for managing stress.
For example, when I was in the process of buying my first property I was quite stressed. It’s a huge amount of money and a huge commitment. However, simple talking to others about the situation was one of the best things I did. I was able to learn from those that have gone through the same process before.
We learn a lot through others. The more you learn about a given situation the more comfortable you become with it. You also have the benefit of testing out hypotheses and options for problem-solving or moving forward.
7. Ask Yourself ‘Will This Matter in 5 Years Time?’
I ask myself this question all the time when I’m stressed and I swear it is one of the most effective techniques for reducing your stress levels.
99% of the time what I’m stressed about will NOT matter in 5 years time. Upon realising this, it completely flips my perception of the given situation in a way that I can turn it around and actually have some fun with it.
For example, it might be meeting a deadline at work and to be able to provide the work at its highest quality will take me over the deadline. If I start to think ‘how on Earth am I going to get this done on time’ I simply ask myself the question ‘will this matter in 5 years time?’ If the answer is no, then I simply move forward and get it done to the highest quality possible given the timeframe.
This example also alludes to setting your own expectations. Setting your own high expectations can be great as it shows you want to be the best at what you do, but when the recipient does not need it at such a high level you’re potentially putting stress on yourself that you do not need to have.
8. Learn How to Say ‘No’
A huge cause of stress is for people not doing what they really want to do. On top of this, another huge cause of stress is simply doing too much!
Learning how to say no can combat this significantly and reduce your stress levels.
When you say no, you’re taking control of your life and your environment.
Intuitively we all have the desire to please others and hence it becomes difficult to say no. We also have our self-pride and if we are seen to be ‘not capable’ of taking more on then how will others perceive me?
Related Article:Can’t Say No? This Tapping Video Will Help!
Unfortunately this is not a healthy thing as it can lead to much greater stress.
In terms of techniques for this one, I recommend just giving it a go and seeing what the word ‘no’ can do for you.
9. Take Control of Your Environment
Your environment plays a crucial role in your overall wellbeing. Be it your home, your bedroom, your office or your community.
How do you feel when you’re in a crowded room with people rushing everywhere and lots of noise compared to when you’re lying in a park by yourself listening to the breeze go by?
When you take control of our environment you can start t take control of your stress levels. This can be done through better planning of your time, turning off the TV when you’re not watching it at night to create some ‘quiet’ time and even just closing your eyes for 30 seconds and enjoying the serenity.
There are loads of strategies available for taking control of your environment. The main thing is, ensure you make the choices.
10. Reward Yourself When You Get Something Done
Often when you get stressed its because you have too much to do or because you are fearful of the potential consequences of your actions.
Because of this, a great way of managing stress is to reward yourself after you finish something that was stressful.
For example, remember back in the uni/college days how everyone was stressed during exam periods? What did you do after you completed your final exam? Well, assuming you didn’t have massive hangover I’m sure you felt a lot less stressed! Not only that, but I’m sure you would have rewarded yourself in some way, being it letting your hair down with a big night out or doing something that you have been putting off for a while due to exams. It shouldn’t be any different in other areas of your life.
But how can this manage stress while you’re going through the actual stressful period? It’s the anticipation of the reward that can help reduce your stress, keep you motivated and actually build excitement.
Another example of this is when someone books a holiday. They may have a busy few months ahead before the holiday but it’s the anticipation of it that can help manage stress during this time.
Start rewarding yourself for the things you do. It might be as small as getting yourself a coffee when you have completed a small task. You’re worth it!
