Every office has its own flora and fauna. As a new employee, you need to figure out who the predator is, where to find shelter during your lunch break and how to co-exist with all the jungle animals – your boss, managers, accountant, and guys from the IT department. Follow this survival guide to make sure you not get mauled and eaten in the first days of your office job:
Jungle clothes
Having a camouflage is essential for survival in the jungle; the same applies to the office job. If you want to get accepted in the first days, stick to your company’s dress code policy. It should be something comfortable, simple, and tasteful. Avoid prints on the T-shirts, heavy make-up, high hills, and sneakers.
After one week of working, choosing your ‘camouflage’ won’t be a problem since you will know what outfits are acceptable in your office.
Getting to know your colleagues
If it’s your first week at work, feel free to bring some chum – cake, fruit, or donuts. It will help your co-workers to notice and remember you. It will not look like sucking up if you leave treats in the kitchen and wait for someone to ask: ‘Hey, someone’s birthday today?.’ Keep in mind, speaking about your nice gesture the whole day can leave a negative imprint, so don’t praise yourself too much.
Adopt your colleagues’ style of communication and try to speak their language. Some people like one-on-one discussions or open meetings. Others prefer free faxing, emailing, or talking on the phone. Your main task is to figure out the communication channel your colleagues prefer the most and stick to it. That’s how you can get accepted faster.
Before everyone leaves their watering hole, you can suggest dinner or some after-work drinks. People are more talkative and less intimidating in an informal setting. Don’t take it personally in case they reject your offer. It is not because they don’t want to hang out with you; they just have their own things to do. However, this gesture will help you create an image of a friendly and confident person.
S-T-O-P
Starting a new job is always stressful – you don’t know what to expect and how to behave with certain people. You are very lucky if your company has a strong work ethic that implies showing you around and introducing you to the team. In case your manager or co-worker just shows your desk and nothing more, you will need to find the way in the jungle on your own.
When you get lost, the first thing you need to do is S-T-O-P. It is an acronym that stands for: Stop, Think, Observe, Plan. Travelers use this method to stop feeling anxious in stressful situations (like getting lost in the middle of nowhere or open workspace).
To find a kitchen and bathroom, follow animal trials, and walk in one general direction. Being lost can be a great small talk topic, don’t hesitate to find someone in the flock and ask all the questions.
The main dangers in the jungle
The main dangers in the jungle office are not your chair or slippery floor. There is a bunch of other things to avoid, for instance:
Speaking about your previous job: you should not compare your new job to the previous one even if you want to say that your current company is better than the other one. You can share some details about your previous job if someone asks you, but avoid starting your sentences with ‘and in the other company.’
Whining: No one wants to work with easily vulnerable and anxious people. Only the strong species of animals can survive in the jungle. Saying that you don’t know something isn’t weakness. But whining and complaining at the workplace will show your incompetence.
Hitting on someone: You are not in the position to flirt with someone in the office, especially when you don’t know who is who in the jungle.
Survival Kit
There are a lot of things you might need for your first day at work. It’s better to be prepared since you don’t know what to expect.
Your survival kit should include:
- Notepad and pen (it will show that you are eager to learn and self-improve);
- Mints (the first impression is really important);
- Documents;
- Watch (staring at your phone every five minutes might not look good);
- Painkillers (they might help in case you are nervous, have headache or stomach aches);
- Lunch;
- Snacks (in case you won’t have time for lunch);
The first week in the office jungle is always stressful. In the beginning, it is completely fine not to know where to find food and water, how to hunt to get promoted and communicate with other species. Even though everyone looks so serious, take it as a game with its own rules and tricks.
Maintain a positive attitude, be ready to adapt, and don’t set high expectations. In a few months, you will greet newcomers who will be scared the same way you are now. Just don’t get eaten in the meantime.
