While I’ve always been the type of person that can go from sugar to shit-storm if I feel my safety is threatened, I’ve never been able to hold a grudge for very long or ever really able to get into the whole revenge thing if someone does me wrong. This tends to hold water whether that wrong is simply being told a disappointing lie or even if it’s a huge, out of nowhere “screw you”. For my entire life, instead of scheming ways to make people pay for the harm they’ve caused, I instead was more interested in the reasons why they had caused the harm in the first place. The yearning to understand this has always overpowered the need to get even and any advice to get back at them never appealed to me, nor did harboring any long-term bad will or feelings towards the person.
So, what is it that allows me or anyone else like me to turn my inner spark into a raging fire only when it’s a matter of physical survival? And why do most of us put ourselves in this same bucket; forcing life to shake us to the core before we even consider making real change in our lives whether it be via our perceptions, beliefs, thoughts, words, actions or all of the above.
I believe that it’s because we have simply forgotten who we are; all of us. And perhaps that’s the whole point of being here. In my heart of hearts, I honestly feel we are all here to help one another, no matter how “good” or “bad” of a person the world might consider us to be. And I’ve always had this strange ability it seems to be able to see the full spectrum of both polarities in people. So, whenever someone I care about does that hurt me or to betray me, while I, of course, feel the pain, I am also just as able to not let it take away from the good, loving, positive parts of the friendship or relationship, especially if it was mostly this way…
You see, as humans, we all know we make mistakes. Some of us even take a few more times than others to learn our lessons, but the point is we ALL mess up at times, we all over-react, we all lay slave to our emotions, we all let untrue thoughts haunt us and take away our self-worth, and we all judge and judge one another.
But what I’ve come to realize is the less I judge and the more I show forgiveness the more I am able to love myself. It sounds ironic and completely ass-backward and sometimes I can’t even make sense of it myself, because this path I’ve chosen for myself has been quite a painful one. Living in the world this way allows me to love deeper than most, but also get hurt just as deep. It comes with a price…
Looking in at my life, especially if you are close to me, you might ask why such a nice person allows others to treat her so poorly, or why such a gal with huge dreams doesn’t put more energy into herself over those she cares about, and again I’ve asked myself these things for years. No, I have literally tormented myself with these exact two questions for almost my entire life, and it wasn’t until recently that I finally asked, “WHY? and WHO is this for???”
You see if I’ve learned anything in my 40 years on Earth is that my purpose is to see the light in others they are blind to and lead them to it, so they are able to see the path they need to walk to turn it on and shine brightly in the world…and for so many years, I had people asking why I couldn’t do it for myself and I felt horrible for it, like I was never good enough or where I needed to be.
But as I surrender to life, and flow with what comes through my heart, I’m learning more about what I truly love and what my gifts are giving back to me. I had just never allowed myself to be open to it because I always looked at from such a limited perspective. But if you can learn to zoom out, to remember that everything has a purpose and that if someone you cared about did genuinely just make a mistake and cares enough as well to ask for it; then forgiveness is definitely warranted.
Forgiveness; whether or not you are forgiving something big or small or give second or third chances, or even forgiving someone you still never want to see again, it is always for YOU. It is about maintaining YOUR inner peace. Because that is the space you always want to give and receive from for it to be authentic; that is where love blooms, grows and comes crying home to at times just to be held and told everything is OK.
There is always a higher purpose to things and that nothing really exists but LOVE. Everything, no matter how painful it can get, is here for our growth, our experience, our sharing, or remembering who we are. It’s all for us to find our way home, to help one another and especially to be there for those who refuse to even open their eyes to look around. And this I am convinced, is my life path, my purpose albeit a freaking painful one. From the outside I know it looks like I am fated to be a forever doormat or that I believe I deserve no better, but what I’ve come to realize is that on some level, this is what I’m here to do. I’m here to help the blind see, the abused heal, the angry cry, and the lost remember.
And perhaps the greatest thing to remember here is that forgiveness is for GIVING and something we should all TAKE up! 
Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com
Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.
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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.
