The Secret Sexual Satisfaction Formula (aka How To Turn Up the Heat)

Written by on April 28, 2019 in Conscious Living, Relationships & Sex with 5 Comments


By Jerry Stocking | Elephant Journal

If there is one thing that brightens up the bedroom, or anywhere you are having sex, it is lightening up, taking yourself less seriously and letting go.

In just a moment I am going to reveal the secret sexual satisfaction formula, but first let’s play a little game that will lighten us up.

The sexual vocabulary game

You may think this game is ridiculous.

I did.

But I did it anyway, and am I ever so glad I did.

According to the Global Language Monitor, as of January 1, 2014 there are 1,025,109.8 words in the English language.

Related Article: 10 Sexual Foreplay Moves That REALLY Set the Right Mood

Most of these don’t belong in the bedroom, at least not during the heat of passion.

But I would like to expand your bedroom vocabulary just for the fun of it.

Do the following: Write random words on small pieces of paper. Keep them by your bedside.

Just before you make love each of you picks two pieces of paper. Read the words to yourself, and then, at some point in your love making use each word.

You can use them while you are stroking a thigh, between kisses, during a gentle back massage or whispered into a soft ear right before nibbling the lobe.

You can use words like big, or throbbing, or go!

But you can also wield words like albatross, philanthropy or agastopie. (Agastopie is a noun and it means the admiration of a particular part of someone’s body.)

Have some fun with this little game to make sex less serious, and expand your vocabulary.

Now, on to the secret sexual satisfaction formula.

The secret sexual satisfaction formula

There are three steps to the sexual satisfaction formula, they are:

Make a request that your partner can fulfill.
Let them know that they have fulfilled it.
Let them know how good it feels.

That’s the whole formula. Now, lets discover how it works by examining each step.

Related Article: Take It Slow… How To Introduce Tantra Into Your Sexual Experience

Step 1: Make a request that they can fulfill

The standard form for a request is: “I request that you do X by time Y.”

Examples include:

I request that you hold my hand now.
I request that you call me before the meeting tomorrow.
I request that we have sex three times before midnight Sunday evening.

While making a request it is important to include several elements.

You need to be responsible for the request, which you accomplish by using the word “I”.

“Do the dishes,” isn’t a well formed request. Not only is the word “I” missing but there isn’t a time frame. You need to add a by-when.

“I request that you do the dishes before you come to bed,” is a well formed request.

Making requests will empower your relationship. It will assist the two of you in making sure you know what is being asked of you. And, clarifying your communication outside the bedroom is very powerful foreplay: it helps you avoid misunderstandings, which aren’t the least bit sexy.

But in the bedroom requests don’t have to be well formed. Here are some examples of bedroom requests:

“Oh, a little faster please.”
“Move a little to the right.”
“Could you enter me now?”

Asking for what you want not only makes it likely you will get it, it also lets your partner know what you want and like.

Related Article: Here’s How Much Sex You Should Be Having for Optimal Happiness

Requests made liberally coordinates your pleasure. It spices up every aspect of sex and is much more likely to result in the two of you orgasming together.

Keep those requests coming. But don’t stop there.


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5 Reader Comments

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  1.' Peter Tesla says:

    Turn on the heater!

  2.' Sagar Labde Sml says:


  3.' Nick Hantom says:

    You make sex look cheap and uninteresting.

  4.' Erika Wright says:

    Each individual can be turned on different ways, and don’t make recipe for love

  5.' Jagath Chandimal Vithanage says:

    Eat the ear

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