One year ago a life changing event occurred to me. My mother transitioned. It was timely and untimely. At a seemingly appropriate age it was timely, yet I was unprepared, untimely. Although I know, believe, ascribe to the fact that we are transitory, physical beings and life and death are part of a cycle; her passing caused a hick-up for me. A blip that left me in pain and a raw feeling that she left just a bit too soon.
She could not communicate at the end and I expected her to recover, but she didn’t. In my heart, I felt she was invincible, not that she would escape the death experience, but that somehow it would have occurred differently. I am sure this was not a unique experience. However the myriad of emotions, both highs and lows, allowed me to feel new heights of beingness. Flow, all is flow and allowing myself to feel through every part of the experience has served me well. I stayed true to what I knew deep within and all that I write about.
As I reflected on her and how we all relate as a “the whole”. I used the analogy of the bees, the comb and the sweet nectar created. Please join me as I share my heart to our immediate family.
The Honoring of a Life, the Matriarch
We gather today to honor this beautiful soul I knew as my mother, your mother, your sister, your grandmother, aunt, great grandmother, family member. She was familiar to each of us in different ways. Mom was also a good friend and she always challenged me, as she did most of you, a good thing.
It’s easy to see mom as the queen bee and the rest of us as worker bees. Not in the sense that we were trying to serve her. But that she had a matriarchal place in our lives. It’s easy to see her in this place because she loved us all so well and she wanted us to love her back. I know we all loved her and that is beautiful. She has a place in each of our hearts that is unique and I also believe very deep.
She was passionate about life and in that passion we all felt it. Sometimes that was comfortable and at other times it was not. That too is a beautiful thing. She was a child at heart, with a hunger to know, to live and to experience life in its fullest. The story she valued above all else, whether it was where she ate, visited, traveled to, saw, or experienced. For she knew it is in the legends and tales that keep us alive. As a historian and genealogist that was paramount to her existence. As an educator and artist she shared the truth of her life.
The Queen Bee and the Perfect Comb
Let’s look to the bee again, not the queen and worker bee aspect, but the honey and the comb. We, including Mom are the honey comb. We are like individual cells linked together and the product of the linking is honey. It is sweet and nutritious to some and toxic to others. How can that bee?
The Nectar of Feelings
Just as a baby can’t tolerate honey or meat for that matter, immaturity cannot tolerate the product of the comb. The nectar of feelings. Feelings are the truest form of who you are and who I am. As we are honest with ourselves , accept ourselves, love ourselves in this interconnection of the comb, we also accept and love all. Because essentially we are all part of the whole. The product of the comb, the honey is only toxic to the immature. The one that has not seen or felt their own divinity. The truth is, we are all born, divine. No one is exempt, no one. The honeycomb is a perfect creation. Each cell perfectly formed to hold the sweet nectar of honey and in this the beauty of feelings.
How does this Serve You?
Choose the memories that support and nourish your soul. I say this to you and to me. Life is for living in the present moment. No regrets of the past or fears of the future. Choose in each moment to nourish your heart and in doing so, you will nourish others and the comb produces sweet nectar.
Let’s walk the beauty walk. Make the most of what we have and then living life with gratitude, love and most of all compassion.
What is the Highest Form of Love?
Compassion is the highest form of love. Compassion may not protect you from hurt, but it allows each of us to expand and grow even during the difficult moments of life. May each of us grow into and live life in its truest form, compassionate action. Let your love show, always. Walk the beauty walk.
Julia Parsell is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor with an emphasis on the intersection of science and the sacred. She writes from experiences and transformative understandings that have led her to an authentic and peaceful life. She goes by these names: wife, grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, and friend. As home educator of her three children, she also developed/ran cafes, and maintained various leadership roles within her community. Her greatest desire is to encourage others to live life fully. Her passions are family, writing, and trail blazing. She is happily married in Western North Carolina.
