The Process of LGBTQ Parenting Using a Surrogate

Posted by on August 30, 2019 in Stuff with 0 Comments

LGBTQ is an acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. For these kinds of couples who may want to have a baby of their own, the modern-day has presented many technologies and ways that parenting can become a reality. These include adoption, artificial insemination, reciprocal IVF, and surrogacy.  Most gay couples prefer surrogacy for several reasons. The main one is that surrogacy gives you a genetic connection to the child as opposed to adoption. It also gives you a chance to be part of the growth process of the child from the very start.

Surrogacy involves a substantial financial commitment, causing some people to plan for an independent surrogacy, which is risky. It is advisable to enlist the services of a surrogacy agency. Agencies will help you obtain high-quality surrogates who match your criteria. Some will also help you sort out the legal issues required, such as the signing of contracts. Most importantly, agencies will provide emotional support for both you as a parent and for the surrogate. As a parent, trusting that someone else will take good care of your child can be a challenge that you may need help with. As a surrogate, letting go of the child can be an emotional process that requires lots of counselling.

How do you go about parenting through surrogacy?

Decide on the most important characteristics you will look for in your surrogate

Usually, surrogates have two motivations. Some provide the services because of a genuine desire to help out another couple, while others are focused on the compensation. Knowing your surrogate’s motivation is important. Try to avoid surrogates who are solely motivated by the pay. They may end up presenting custodial issues after delivery and demanding extra compensation. Surrogates who are motivated by both money and altruism are the best choice.

Another important thing to consider is her overall health and health background, including physical, emotional, social, and psychological health. The right surrogate should be wholesomely stable. Other characteristics include age and whether the surrogate is already a parent of healthy children.

Decide on who will provide the sperm

Deciding who between you will provide the sperm for fertilization may be an emotional process that you should handle with care. If you want to have more than one kid, both of you can provide sperms to create embryos. Some couples choose to mix their sperms so that they may not know whose sperm fertilized the egg.

Choose a surrogacy agency

An agency will help you find a surrogate with the characteristics you are looking for. A surrogacy agency will also recommend to you attorneys or lawyers who have experience in family and reproductive issues, or specialists in gay parenting.

Choose an egg donor and surrogate

Ensure you are very comfortable and open with your surrogate to facilitate smooth communication. While speaking to your surrogate, you must have a solid agreement on important issues. For example, if you want to carry twins, then your surrogate should be okay with that.

Choosing a suitable egg donor makes the difference between successful and unsuccessful IVF. An average egg donation will consist of 12-14 eggs, of these, at least 10 should become viable embryos, and only 2-4 will be high-quality. One or more of the high-quality ones will be chosen for the IVF process.

The IVF process begins

Once the egg and sperm are ready, an embryologist creates the embryo which will be transferred to the surrogate. Once the embryo transfer is complete, there is a two week waiting period before your surrogate undergoes a pregnancy test.

Prepare for the birth

During the nine-month of waiting, you can use the time to get to know your surrogate better.  Ensure they are taking good care of themselves, eating right, working out, and attending regular clinical checkups as they should. You can also shop around for baby gear and prepare your baby’s nursery.

After delivery, the surrogate will hand the child over to you. As per the surrogacy agreement, the surrogate cannot claim any rights to the child as long as she gets her reward. Legally, the child is solely yours as a couple. You can then enjoy the joyous feeling of parenthood.

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