Sex & Meditation Have the Same Affect On Your Brain

By Vicki Howie | Chakraboosters.com

sexI recently discovered a study that suggests that orgasm has an effect on your brain that’s almost identical to meditation.

This means you can sit alone on a tiny cushion or jump into bed with your lover, and get similar benefits to your general zen-ness and overall brain bliss.

Very cool.

I’ve long considered sex to be a sacred act, and I’m excited that we now have a little bit of scientific proof.

The study, summarized in Scientific American, says similar regions light up in the right-brain during orgasm and meditation.  But, according to the article, there is one key difference:

“Unlike meditation, orgasm seems a heightened sense of being within one’s body rather than the sense of being outside of it.”

As a lover of tantric philosophy, I just want to say — finally, there’s evidence that we can experience sacred bliss by going deeper into a physical experience, rather than moving away from it.

The bias over a few thousands of years of classical yogic thinking has been that “enlightenment” comes from moving away from one’s lower (temptation-oriented chakras) towards the upper, more “spiritual” chakras.

The word itself – “enlightenment” – contains “light” because of this preference for moving into the lighter (higher) chakras.  We also have words like “ascension” and “higher self” that refer to supposedly greater states of spirituality.

But maybe, just maybe, we don’t have to go “upward” to get in touch with our divine essence.  Maybe we can experience profound spirituality by being more deeply present and aware in our body as we share a loving, physical connection with another.

And maybe our lower chakras are as big of a part of our spirituality as our upper chakras.  I for one, am all for chakra equality.

vicki howie

Vicki Howie is the Creator of Chakra Boosters Healing Tattoos™ (find out what inspired her to create them here). Check out her new book “The Key to Your Chakras” here on amazon.com. Vicki is also the Creator of Chakra Love and the Chakra Life Cycle System®, as well as the Co-Editor of Conscious Life News. You can visit her website chakraboosters.com, facebook page and youtube channel for lots of free chakra info and gifts. Vicki’s biggest joy is to help you unleash your full chakra power and step into your highest potential.


9 Surprisingly Simple Lessons In Intimacy From Tantric Sex


By K. Aleisha Fetters | Prevention

For the uninitiated, the idea of tantric sex can be mystifying. You might assume it’s all kink or you may be reminded of rumors about Sting’s famous (or, rather, infamous) nine-hour sex sessions. The rest of you probably just scratch your head. Luckily for both your comfort zone and schedule, tantric sex is about more than marathon lovemaking.

Related Article: Tantric Intimacy & Sex: Why It’s Important

With its roots in ancient Indian principles, tantric sex is a form of meditation—a way to connect to both your partner and yourself in a more intimate way. Rather than focusing on recreation, it emphasizes the same mindful techniques that can slash stress and increase your focus—both of which can lead to more pleasurable sex.

Ready to find the bedroom and relationship bliss? Take a lesson (or 9!) from tantric sex’s mindful practices.

1) Ditch your expectations

When you hang onto what you think sex should be—how it should feel, how long it should last, what positions you should hit, and so on—your pleasure doesn’t stand a chance, says Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. Those expectations are probably founded more in TV and movies than they are in reality. But when you let go of those comparisons, you can truly tap into the sensations you’re experiencing, as opposed to what you think you should be feeling (and how quickly you can get there).

Related Article: How to Cultivate the Full Spectrum of Your Sexuality

2) Know your body

“The better a woman gets to know her body, the more connected she feels to herself, and the better she can make requests to her partner during sex,” says Elsbeth Meuth, director of the TantraNova Institute in Chicago. And that’s a big part of tantric sex—exploring your own body to better understand (and articulate) your pleasure points.

3) Slow down

There’s nothing wrong with the occasional quickie. But if you really want to use sex to connect, call off the race, says psychotherapist Barnaby B. Barratt, Ph.D., and author of What Is Tantric Practice? Your move: During intercourse or foreplay, aim to make three strokes for every 30 you typically would. It sounds impossibly boring but the opposite is true: Every sensation will stand out so you can fully enjoy it.

Related Article: Take It Slow… How To Introduce Tantra Into Your Sexual Experience

4) Excite your senses

Sure, sex feels great, but what about your other senses? “Tantric sex is about creating a fully sensual experience,” says Carrellas. Dim the lights, dip strawberries in chocolate or invest in a set of 1,000-thread-count sheets. Catering to all of your senses will help get your entire body and mind get in on the fun.


20 Brutally Honest Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex


By Bob Alaburda | Your Tango

Ignorance is NOT bliss.

Sex is a learned skill. So, the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it, right? Wrong.

As the famous Vince Lombardi quote goes, “Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.”

This universal truth is so important when it comes to sex, because it’s a topic that can sometimes be a sensitive subject between you and your partner. Your partner might be hesitant to ask for what they need in the bedroom because they’re worried about hurting your feelings.

Related Article: 5 Men Share What Amazing Sex Feels Like for Them

As a result, you’re just further ingraining bad habits instead of correcting them. But luckily for you, I’m not invested in your feelings.

Here’s what you might need to hear about your performance in the bedroom, but aren’t.

1) Do your part. Nothing’s worse than a partner who just lays there, seemingly disinterested. Show enthusiasm, be vocal and move with the action. Otherwise, you’re just a slightly warmer blow-up doll.

2) Take control every now and then. The guy is generally expected to be the aggressor/dominant one in a sexual encounter. Turning this around on him is an exciting way to keep him on his toes and even help him out if he’s tired.

3) We don’t care if you’re not perfectly groomed. So, your legs are a little scruffy, you haven’t cleaned up down there, and you don’t smell like you just came out of a Bath & Body Works. Trust us, we’ll get over it. As long as you practice good, basic hygiene, it’s not imperative that you be pristine at all times. We’re realistic.

Related Article: How We Stigmatize Female Genitalia: a Brief History of Vagina Worship

4) Remember that communication is key. Don’t let us waste 5 minutes doing something that’s not working for anybody. Sex isn’t the time to be shy and polite. Tell us what’s working or what you need, and everyone will be happier.

5) … And so is listening. Don’t take it personally if we’re not feeling what you’re doing and ask to try something else. That thing your ex really loved may do nothing for us. Everybody’s different.

6) Don’t freak out if we don’t get off. There are so many factors that can cause this to happen, but it’s almost never because you’re not attractive enough or good enough in bed. There’s a cultural stereotype that all dudes love sex 100 percent of the time with anyone, always. Maybe we’re not in the mood, are stressed, lacking an emotional connection, or so many other things. Don’t beat yourself up.

7) We need foreplay, too. So much of the fun of sex is in the mind. A lot of it is about the buildup and anticipation. Just as you need foreplay to fully enjoy the experience, so do we.

Related Article: 10 Sexual Foreplay Moves That REALLY Set the Right Mood

8) Don’t forget the romanceThis is another symptom of the belief that guys are just cavemen looking to score. Romance, seduction, and the emotional aspects of sex work on us, too.

9) It’s totally possible for us to not be in the mood. With all that being said, sometimes there’s nothing you can do.


Study Confirms You Should Be Engaged in the “GGG” Approach to Sex: Here’s What It Is

fun-sex-compressed (1)

By Debby Herbenick | Salon

Five years ago, sex columnist Dan Savage suggested that, when it comes to sex, we should all aim to be GGG (“good, giving, and game … Think ‘good in bed,’ ‘giving equal time and equal pleasure’ and ‘game for anything – within reason’”). Long embraced by his readers, the GGG approach now has support from a new scientific study published in the Journal of Sex Research.

Related Article: The Secret Sexual Satisfaction Formula (aka How To Turn Up the Heat)

Of course, we’ve known for years that technique (for example, clitoral stimulation for women, incorporating certain sexual behaviors for either sex) matters to couples. And certainly inequitable pleasure is never a good thing, even though it persists (as I discussed in last week’s column, research shows that women are particularly prone to getting shafted in the orgasm department during hookup sex).

What this new study from researchers at the University of Arizona and Hanover College adds, at least from my perspective, is the additional layer of understanding of how being “game for anything – within reason” contributes to intimacy and satisfaction.

Related Article: 10 Sexual Foreplay Moves That REALLY Set the Right Mood

To be fair, the researchers didn’t actually examine the GGG phenomenon. They didn’t use the term “GGG,” nor did they use the phrase “game for anything” anywhere in their research paper. Rather, they studied what they call “sexual transformations” – sexual changes that people make for the sake of their partner or their relationship. But as a scientist myself, I’m going to go out on a limb and pronounce the term “sexual transformations” to be the nerdier first cousin to the slightly cooler third G in the trifecta: “being game for anything – within reason.”

Related Article: Surprising Study Shows that Couples Who Share THIS Have More (& Better!) Sex

In examining sexual transformations, the researchers recruited 96 couples (all male-female) and asked them questions about changes they had made for their partner in terms of how often they have sex, the kinds of sexual activities they engage in, communicating about sex and intimacy. They also asked participants how they felt about these changes and how often they engaged in affectionate behaviors with each other, such as hugging, cuddling and kissing.


Why Sex Should Be Treated as a Spiritual Practice

By The Mind Unleashed

Mention the word sex and eyes widen and ears perk up. The strong reaction the subject arouses reflects the spicy nature of sexual energy. We may be at the gym feeling tired and depleted, but if someone we find attractive starts working out next to us, our energy level is suddenly boosted. That energetic intensification represents the activation of our Lower Dantian (energy center below the navel), which holds our sexual energy in reserve.

Related Article: 5 Experts Share Their Big Ideas on How to Keep Your Sex Life Fresh

Pure sexual energy is as unstable as dynamite and just as explosive. It can transport us to sublime states of bliss and delight or cast us into the darkest pits of anguish, terror, and depravity. The volatile and wild nature of sexual energy convinced some religious traditions to view it as an impediment to spiritual development, and to some degree, this belief still continues to perpetuate in the popular imagination because of the confusion, heartache, and pain that sexual intimacy can cause.

To demonstrate this, rank the following three words from the most to the least spiritual: wisdom, love, sex. If we took a poll, the top position might be a tossup between wisdom and love, but without a doubt, sex would rank last on the list. No one questions the connection between spirituality and love or spirituality and wisdom. But the link between spirituality and sexuality is a harder sell.

From the Qigong perspective, however, the notion that sexuality and spirituality are antithetical is misguided, because sexual energy forms one of the cornerstones of happiness.

If we ever hope to secure long-lasting happiness in a loving relationship, we must heal our socially conditioned distortions about sexuality. We must erase the invisible line we draw with our minds around our beltlines, above which lies the greater part of human nature and below which lies the lesser. In essence, we must spiritualize sex.

But how do we redeem sexuality and elevate it to the spiritual status it deserves? How do we reconcile the square of sex with the circle of spirit when sexual pleasure is often responsible for so much shame, trauma, and pain? One place to begin searching for an answer to these questions lies in identifying the fundamental, seemingly irreconcilable differences between male and female sexuality. Those differences swiftly become apparent in the bedroom.

Stereotypically, male sexual energy flares up and is exhausted quickly, like a match, while female sexual energy boils slowly and remains hot for a long time, like a pot of boiling water. These different tempos are a source of shame for men who climax too fast and frustration for women who may not climax at all.

This problem is then compounded by the notorious fact that when male sexual energy is activated men often become emotionally unavailable, and the other notorious fact that the female sexual experience is often laden with sentimentalism that men normally can’t relate to.

Related Article: Tantric Intimacy & Sex: Why It’s Important

Obviously, we can’t alter our sexual instincts. What we can do, however, is use spiritual practice to overcome the limitations imposed by nature on our sexuality. In fact, we can transform the inherent mismatch between male and female sexuality into an incredible opportunity for spiritual growth.

Let’s begin by considering the way Qigong can help a man harness his sexual energy. When male sexual energy is aroused, it intensifies locally around the genitals and quickly flows out of the body. That is the natural pattern of male sexual energy. But men can learn to reverse that flow and direct their sexual essence upward, toward the Middle Dantian (energy center at located at the heart level). By doing so, a man accomplishes two goals. First, he diminishes the urge to ejaculate, and second, as sexual energy rises to his heart, passion blends with love and tenderness. A man who masters this skill is able to prolong intercourse indefinitely and deepen his emotional connection during lovemaking.

When female sexual energy is aroused, it naturally flows inward and upward from the genitals toward the heart. Stimulation of the breasts further activates the Middle Dantian (energy center at located at the heart level) and reinforces an emotional response. Unlike men, women don’t need to practice Qigong to integrate their sexual vitality with their love. These qualities mingle naturally, and in this respect, female sexuality is inherently more integrated.

Related Article: How To Have The Greatest SEX of Your Life!


What REAL Men Really Want in Bed

sexercises for menBy Dina Strada | Elephant Journal

What do men really want from a woman in bed?

“He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects the deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer—because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of achievement.” ~ Ayn Rand

A man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions.

Related Article: How to Communicate with Your Lover About What You Want in Bed

I have always thought of men as mysterious creatures. A bit animalistic. I thought for sure that most men I spoke with would tell me they look for a woman who can perform Cirque du Soleil acts in the bedroom all while wearing some vampy, barely-there lingerie along with six inch stiletto heels.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was not the case.

My intention in exploring this topic was not to dis-empower women or make them feel that they are somehow not enough if they aren’t doing the things the men I spoke with talk about here. My intention was truly one of curiosity—but more importantly, to show that what men want is very similar to what women say we want as well.

As much as we may think that we are such different creatures, especially in our sexual wants and desires, what I found through talking to these men is that we really aren’t that different after all. At the end of the day openness, honest communication and being fully yourself while making love is what makes a really great sexual encounter.

So here’s to all the men (aged 25 – 58) who made me laugh, blush and roll my eyes with their openness, honesty and candidness. (Names have been changed to protect their privacy):

Justin: “I think men want pretty much the same thing as women in many ways…fantasy, play, respect and boundaries. Where we may differ: It’s a little harder for us to cuddle and be vulnerable in the same way. Women are usually more focused on behavior cues and men focus more on the physical/visual cues.”

Craig: “I love a woman who knows what she wants and takes control. It’s a turn on if she’s a little aggressive and open to role playing.”

Cam: “For me, a great lover is someone who is passionate and confident. A woman who is comfortable expressing herself in bed and communicating what she wants from me. I never want to have to guess. I prefer she be vocal about her needs and desires so that I can fulfill them for her.”

Jeff: “I want someone who can just relax and have fun, rock my world and make me not know where I am or at least not care. Whether it’s a quickie or an all night session, I want to lay there afterwards with her and smile.”

Tom: “I want to be with a woman who enjoys intimacy and sex as much as I do, but is completely grounded, attentive and focused. Definitely someone who isn’t hesitant to tell me what she likes, especially in the moment.”

Joe: “Tell me, teach me, show me things that make me want you. I think of it as an investment in her. Show me the body parts you love. Show how they feel against me. Show me how you want me to touch you and turn you on…like you feel I’m the only man for you.”

Sam: “I think men want to feel connected, felt and in complete balance with the give and take just as women do. To not have awkwardness, but to have a solid nurturing and uplifting experience that brings each other closer. To feel safe to explore each others’ vulnerable sides and to reach new levels of joy and bliss together.”

Peter: “Vulnerability. Playfulness. Honesty and enthusiasm. There is nothing sexier than an enthusiastic lover. I never want to feel that a woman is doing me a favor by sleeping with me. “

Chris: “I like when a woman compliments me, tells me she thinks I’m sexy…We get insecure about our appearance and performance too. So hearing her say that there is something about me that turns her on goes a long way with me in the bedroom.”

Todd: “Men are super visual and we want to see everything. Women get very hung up on their insecurities with their body. We don’t see what you see. We think you’re beautiful and want to appreciate every part of you. For me, leaving a little light on is essential so I can appreciate every part of her and what she’s doing.”

Kevin: “Taking the initiative and being a little bossy. As men, we always feel we have to be in charge or in control. I appreciate when a woman makes the first move and orders me around a bit. It’s very sexy.”

James: “I like a mix of romance and dirty talk. A combination of safe connection, appreciation of each other and the playfulness of telling me what you want to do to me or what you want me to do to you. A woman confident enough to do that is one I feel the deepest connection to.”

Mike: “Expressiveness! Don’t fake it but if I’m making you feel good let me know. There is nothing sexier than a woman who expresses her pleasure. Nothing turns us on more—nothing—than knowing that we are pleasing you.”

Anthony: “For me it’s all about the connection. I want to be seduced by the combo of our connection, her personality, looks and love for herself. The kiss is probably the big tell of how intimacy will be. I love it when a woman finds kissing just as intimate as sex.

Nathan: “It’s highly personalized what a guy wants in bed. There is no ideal version. Here’s what guys want in bed… be yourself. In full expression, whatever that is. There is no right or wrong.”


Sexual Meditation (Alone or with a Partner)

meditation wow

By Alex Miles | Elephant Journal

Meditation helps us to remain present so that we have awareness of our mind, body and soul. 

One of the reasons that meditation is beneficial is because it promotes mindfulness which alleviates the effects of anxiety that can develop from stressful and busy lifestyles. Anxiety and stress are both known to increase the production of cortisol, and high levels of this hormone dramatically decrease sexual arousal.

Mindfulness is beneficial in all areas of life and when practiced alongside sex it can help us to relax as well as escalate desire and energy levels.  

Therefore, when we practice Sexual Meditation we achieve an enhanced awareness of our bodies, which heightens physical and emotional sensations resulting in a more pleasurable and sensual experience.

Whether the meditation takes place alone, or with a partner, the steps are very similar and we will still achieve an exceptionally sensual and sexual experience.

If the meditation is being done with a partner, set the right intention by talking to one another affectionately, sharing meaningful intimate thoughts and deep feelings. Expressing heartfelt feelings to a partner, helps us to attune to their energy and creates a bonding, loving connection.

If possible, refrain from caffeine or other artificial stimulants, as well as technology, for at least an hour beforehand.

Begin by choosing the right setting where there will be no distractions. Softly light the room with aromatherapy candles and, if preferred, play calming music in the background. If comfortable, we should wear minimal or loose clothing that can easily be removed.

Start with a mini meditation to slow things down and build a rapport.

Sit upright with a straight spine, if comfortable. Focus on the breath and clear the mind free of any repetitive thoughts and clutter. When the mind wanders, just gently nudge it back to the present moment. Although when we first practice meditation, we can feel irritated if our mind will not still, as we continue we realize that when we become aware that our mind is jumping around, we are actually making progress. Every time we meditate or practice mindfulness we are carving out deeper neural pathways, so eventually a present state of mind becomes second nature.

Related Article: How to Use Meditation for Mind Blowing Sex (Video)

If the meditation is being carried out with a partner, face one another and lightly hold hands and gently squeeze when the mind has stopped racing and you are ready to move to the next stage.

With eyes open, begin pranayama, which is a simple breathing exercise. Placing our hands on our stomach, just above the bellybutton, with fingertips touching, take a deep inhalation through the nose, noticing the fingertips part as the belly area expands. Exhale through the mouth and the fingertips should reconnect as the belly is pulled back inwards. If we are breathing with a partner, we should gaze into one another’s eyes and if possible, harmonize our breathing so that we inhale and exhale in time with one another.

Lying down on our sides facing each other, pay attention to how the body feels on the inside and out. We should let go of any inhibitions, as focusing on how we look or how well we our performance might be will hinder the potential for a truly authentic and intimate experience.

Related Article: 8 Tips on How to Stop Caring What Other People Think of You

 Move the attention from our own body and mind and onto our partner’s body and mind. We can do this with eyes open or closed, whichever is more comfortable. When we connect with our partner and we are fully conscious and in the moment, we will be able to sense their electromagnetic field (aura) which radiates outwards from their body. We all have an outer vibration that varies depending on however we are thinking or feeling emotionally or physiologically. As we tap into our partner’s aura we will connect with these vibrations, and if we also keep an awareness of our own vibrations, we can attune so that we harmonize our energy and vibrate on a similar frequency. 
Related Article : This Short Meditation Will Relax You & Center You in Your Heart

We can then visualize vibrations of rose-pink cords of love emanating from the heart-centre (Heart Chakra). Focus awareness on the build up of energy that is simmering and channel it through the body, and outwards towards your partner. If we are alone, we can visualise the energy circulating through and around our bodies while thinking about someone we care deeply about it. We can then imagine the energy also rotating around their bodies too.

Read the rest of the article here…


12 Things Every Man Should Know About the Female Orgasm

woman lies on bed

By  | Men’s Journal

It is exciting, sexy, and interesting, but the female orgasm is also complicated and contentious. Sex researchers brought this topic into the spotlight 60 years ago but we are still debating how and why it happens. “Female orgasm is shrouded in many mysteries and misconceptions and as a result it can cause discordant expectations among partners,” says Susan Kellogg-Spadt, director of female sexual medicine at the Academic Urology Center for Pelvic Medicine and medical reviewer for HealthyWomen.org. While being focused on orgasm as the Holy Grail of sex is a bad idea, knowing what an orgasm is, how different women experience it, and how it’s most often produced can not only increase the chances of reaching one, it can make a relationship stronger overall.

Related Article: Study Shows Eating This One Food Is Linked to More Female Sexual Activity

(1) Why Women Fake It

In case you haven’t heard, some women fake orgasms. (About 53 to 67 percent according to various research.) A survey of about 400 women found that there are many reasons for the practice, such as feeling insecure about possible sexual dysfunction, increasing arousal, and simply wanting to be done with that particular bedroom romp.

(2) Not All Orgasms Are Earth-Shattering

Strictly defined, an orgasm is a physical reflex where the muscles that were tightened during sex relax, bringing the body back to its pre-arousal state. Some women experience warmth, bodily vibrations, and altered consciousness — hence the euphemism “la petite mort” or “little death” — but some women won’t even notice their orgasms.

Related Article: Almost Half of All Women Polled Did this After Sex

(3) About 10 Percent of Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Regular difficulty reaching orgasm is called anorgasmia. It can happen for lots of different reasons — physical, psychological, and situational. Some women experience anorgasmia even though they’ve been able to achieve orgasm previously.

(4) Men Aren’t the Only Ones who Ejaculate

Ejaculation in both men and women is a separate bodily function than orgasm. While the two often occur together in men, it is estimated that anywhere from 10 to 50 percent of women also ejaculate fluid during orgasm.

Related Article: 6 Keys to Mind-Blowing Tantric Sex

(5) Orgasms Used to be a “Cure” for Hysteria

For centuries, hysteria was a catch-all term for lady problems like fainting, irritability, and nervousness. Medical professionals sometimes used orgasm to treat hysteria because it was thought to release toxic female fluids.


How to Experience the Ultimate Orgasm – It’s NOT what you think!

The last thing I thought about when getting ready to interview afterlife researcher and author of the book The Fun of Dying Roberta Grimes was sex!

But that’s what I got (among other amazing aspects) during our most fascinating discussion about what it’s like to die and live in the afterlife.

According to her research from those who have “died,” (and yes, I’m including those who she claims have come through the veil to describe their experiences), leaving the body is like having the ultimate orgasm.

Grimes says, “Leaving your body is described as being immensely pleasurable. They say it can feel literally orgasmic to leave your body…And once you have transitioned, they tend not to do physical sex…but they have something much better. They say it produces a whole body orgasm.”

Could this be connected to another eerily familiar process described as transcendent sex? Though I’d not been familiar with such a term, I have heard of individuals who describe their sexual experiences as sometimes otherworldly. Some have even described leaving their body (OBE) at the point of orgasm.

“Transcendent sex involves altered states that seem to come out of nowhere and overcome one or both lovers. The term “transcendent sex” comes from the sense of transcending (going beyond or breaking through) the usual sense of space, time or self that constitute normal, waking consciousness. For instance, a person might suddenly be out of body, hovering over the bed, or traveling back in time to a past life, or expanding to include the consciousness of all living creatures.”

“In transcendent sex, there is a pervasive sense that these events participate in, or come from, a supernatural force, which people usually associate with Spirit, however understood. Whether it’s stepping into another reality, seeing visions, being possessed by a power animal or imploding into the utter emptiness of the Void, most people attribute a numinous quality to the events, even if they consider themselves atheists or agnostics. They feel they have been given a glimpse of the Greater Reality, the Absolute, Truth, God.”

(Source: TranscendentSex.org)

Watch/Listen to the full interview with Roberta Grimes

Grimes goes on to say, “You don’t even have to be related [to have afterlife sex]. One person steps into another and literally they occupy the same space. They say there’s no pleasure like it.”

Though clearly, we discussed a multitude of aspects, lending compelling evidence to the reality of an afterlife, including near-death and out of body states, quantum theory, and breakthroughs in consciousness research, admittedly this one little (or big) piece of intel really caught me off guard!

So if you’re in fear or at minimum uncertain of what’s to come once you’ve crossed the threshold into the afterlife, you can certainly rest assured that excitement and adventure and pleasure await you!

And as Roberta’s book title says, Dying is just plain FUN!

Get relevant links from this episode and download the audio on-demand.


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alexisheadshotv2Alexis Brooks is the #1 best-selling author of Conscious Musings, writer/editor for CLN and host of the award-winning show Higher Journeys with Alexis Brooks. Alexis brings over 30 years of broadcast media experience to CLN. For over half of that time, Alexis has dedicated her work to the medium of alternative journalism, having researched and reported on the many aspects and angles of metaphysics, spirituality and new thought concepts.

This article and its accompanying media was originally created and produced by Higher Journeys in association Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Alexis Brooks, HigherJourneys.com and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.




4 Easy Massage Techniques YOU Can Do to Prepare HER for Better Sex

tub soak for 2GCN

By Desiree Gallas |Mens’s Fitness

Admit it, you’ve probably given your woman more than one half-assed rubdown thinking it was all you had to do to warm her up for sex. But you can do better. “Think of massage as sex without the penetration,” says Juan Urosa, a licensed massage therapist from New York City’s acclaimed Great Jones Spa. These 4 massage tips will help turn her on so you both have better sex.

Related Article: Guys: These 4 Tips Guarantee You’ll Give Her the Best Erotic Massage of Her Life


 Get her relaxed before you amaze her. “Prepare a bath and pour in some essential oils,” Urosa says. (You’ll find them in any “chick” store.) “The bath will get her muscles ready for the massage.” And it gives you an excuse to towel her off.


Have her lie on your bed, facedown. Soften your hands with massage oil, then start rubbing her feet, not her back. “We have thousands of nerve endings in our soles that stimulate the entire nervous system,” Urosa says. “Massage each foot, then slowly move up to her calves, then legs, and so on.” Keep the progression slow.



“Start with compressions—lean on the heels of your palms and apply pressure onto her muscles,” Urosa says. Then knead—don’t poke—her muscles with your fingers. Feather strokes are great on tender areas. Just roll your fingers back and forth while you move your hands up and down the muscle. “Pay attention to the top part of each muscle where it meets the bone.”


Related Article A Male Tantric Healer Shares What He Has Discovered About Female Sexuality

“Her inner thighs up to her pelvic bone, her glutes, and pectoral muscles are all highly sensual areas,” Urosa says. They’re also neglected by the pros. “Use compressions followed by kneading on the inner thighs, butt, and tailbone, and feather strokes on the breasts.”

Related Article: Here’s What Happens When You Massage These 3 Key Spots On Your Ear

Bonus Tip:
Ninety-one percent of women say their whole day would be better if they could find just 10 minutes a day to relieve their stress. So get to it!

The Top 11 Benefits of Sex


By Dr. J. Mercola 

Many people associate a healthful lifestyle with habits that are not always the most fun… like grueling workouts or skipping dessert. But this is a misconception, as many of the healthiest habits are also among the most rewarding.

Take sex. It counts as moderately intense exercise plus it boosts numerous aspects of both physical and mental health. As long as you’re engaging in safe-sex practices, increasing your sexual activity is a surefire strategy to better health!

The Top 11 Health Benefits of Sex

Regular sex cannot be underestimated as a factor for reducing stress, bolstering self-esteem and fostering feelings of intimacy and bonding between partners.

But the real point of this article is the fact that a healthy sex life can provide for a longer, healthier and, most would agree, more enjoyable life. Among the many health benefits of sex are:

1. Improved Immunity

People who have sex frequently (one or two times a week) have significantly higher levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA).1 Your IgA immune system is your body’s first line of defense.

Its job is to fight off invading organisms at their entry points, reducing or even eliminating the need for activation of your body’s immune system. This may explain why people who have sex frequently also take fewer sick days.2

2. Heart Health

Men who made love regularly (at least twice a week) were 45 percent less likely to develop heart disease than those who did so once a month or less, according to one study.3

Sexual activity not only provides many of the same benefits to your heart as exercise but also keeps levels of estrogen and testosterone in balance, which is important for heart health.

Related Article: 4 Ways to Increase Nitric Oxide Naturally for a Better Workout, Sex, & Heart Health

3. Lower Blood Pressure

Sexual activity, and specifically intercourse, is linked to better stress response and lower blood pressure.

4. It’s a Form of Exercise

Sex helps to boost your heart rate, burn calories and strengthen muscles, just like exercise. In fact, research recently revealed that sex burns about 4 calories a minute for men and 3 for women, making it (at times) a ‘significant’ form of exercise.5 It can even help you to maintain your flexibility and balance.

5. Pain Relief

Sexual activity releases pain-reducing hormones and has been found to help reduce or block back and leg pain, as well as pain from menstrual cramps, arthritis and headaches. One study even found that sexual activity can lead to partial or complete relief of headache in some migraine and cluster-headache patients.6

6. May Help Reduce Risk of Prostate Cancer

Research has shown that men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month (during sex or masturbation) have a lower risk of prostate cancer.7 This link needs to be explored further, however, as there may have been additional factors involved in the association.

7. Improve Sleep

After sex, the relaxation-inducing hormone prolactin is released, which may help you to nod off more quickly. The “love hormone” oxytocin, released during orgasm, also promotes sleep.

8. Stress Relief

Sex triggers your body to release its natural feel-good chemicals, helping to ease stress and boost pleasure, calm and self-esteem. Research also shows that those who have sexual intercourse responded better when subjected to stressful situations like speaking in public.8

9. Boost Your Libido

The more often you have sex, the more likely you are to want to keep doing it. There’s a mental connection there but also a physical one, particularly for women. More frequent sex helps to increase vaginal lubrication, blood flow and elasticity,9 which in turn make sexual activity more enjoyable.

Related Article: 12 Natural Aphrodisiacs to Raise Libido and Increase Desire

10. Improved Bladder Control in Women

Intercourse helps to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which contract during orgasm. This can help women to improve their bladder control and avoid incontinence. You can boost this benefit even more by practicing Kegel exercises during sex (a Kegel squeeze is performed by drawing your lower pelvic muscles up and holding them up high and tight, as if you’re trying to stop a flow of urine).

11. Increase Intimacy and Improve Your Relationship

Sex and orgasms result in increased levels of the hormone oxytocin — the “love” hormone — that helps you feel bonded to your partner, and better experience empathic connections.

Related Article: ‘Love’ Hormone Oxytocin Found to Reduce Stress, Bring Peace to Intimate and Global Relationships

Has Sex Fizzled? Check Into the Emotional Connection


7 Quirky Sex Questions You’re Too Shy to Ask (Answered!)

couple talkingBy Tracey Cox | DailyMail.co.uk

Some sex secrets are standard ‘water cooler’ material (‘I’d do Chris Hemsworth in a heartbeat’). Others get spilt, along with the red wine, over dinner with good friends (‘I miss what I did with my ex’).

Related Article: Answers to 8 Sex Questions You’re Too Embarrassed to Ask

There’s a couple we might tentatively whisper in the ear of a chosen few (‘Do you ever, you know, feel a bit numb down there?’).

And then there are those we don’t share with anyone because they’re, well, too personal and embarrassing.

Which is why I’ve chosen to answer a selection of the most common and quirky queries to plop into my inbox….

Can you get pregnant from oral sex?

No. Sperm are clever little buggers and can wriggle their way past all sorts of obstacles but they haven’t quite figured out how to dodge major organs like hearts and lungs and stuff to get to the bit where they can fertilise an egg. 

If he wakes up with an erection, has he been dreaming of sex?

No. Most men have between 4-5 erections a night as a result of their sleep cycle. They may also have a biological purpose by ensuring the penis is regularly pumped full of oxygenated blood! Women also get ‘erections’ during the night: though because the clitoris is tiny, no-one notices!

During intercourse, his testicles disappear! Should I be worried?

It can be a bit alarming the first time you notice but nothing dodgy is happening. The testicles retract into the body because muscles in the area pull the scrotum toward it during sex. It’s all to do with good old Mother Nature trying to keep things at the right temperature. She’s also being protective and keeping them out the way of possible knocks during a particularly enthusiastic sex session. 

What happens if I lose a condom inside me?

The good news is it won’t get lost or move upwards (so those fears of coughing it up in front of your partner’s Mum are well…silly).

To remove it, squat down, reach in with a finger and feel around inside. If you can’t find it, your doctor can. And you might need a visit anyway because the semen disappeared up there along with the condom. You could get pregnant or contract an STI.

Related Article: Answers to 13 Sex Questions You May Be Too Embarrassed to Ask

Will too much sex make me too loose?

Quite the opposite – not enough sex can! Our vagina’s are more a case of ‘use it or lose it’ (muscle tone that is). Popping out babies and age cause our pelvic floor muscles to loosen and atrophy. Regular sex helps tone them to keep your vagina tighter.

Will anything happen to me if I swallow semen?

Health-wise, it’s not bad for you since semen is mostly water and mucus. There are traces of citric acid, salt, chloride, ammonia, absorbic acid, calcium, carbon dioxide and cholesterol (sperm are a mere 1% of ejaculate).

The only problem though is rather a large one – if he carries a sexually transmitted disease, you may get it. Take your pick from the list of diseases that can be passed on this way (gonorrhoea, chlamydia, hepatitis B, the HIV virus).

In fact, just touching your his penis with your mouth puts you at risk of contracting herpes, syphilis or human papilloma virus (genital warts) if they’re present. There is some good news though – it’s not fattening! There’s a mere five calories in the average ejaculation.


5 Ways to Start a Sexy Conversation for More Intimacy

couple in intimate conversation

By Kait Fowlie | She Knows

Looking for a new way to spice up your relationship? Strike up a sexy conversation with your partner! Here’s how.

Intimate conversation is an art. Being able to start a sexy chat isn’t something that comes naturally to most couples, no matter how close you might be. Sexy talk can quickly lead to sexy action — your brain is your biggest erogenous zone! Here are five ways to get a sexy conversation started.

1) “Read me a page from…”

Reading aloud to each other is a great place to start if you want to open up a channel for sexy discussion but don’t know what to say. If you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey, you know how powerfully sexy books can be. Erotic fiction is a major aphrodisiac, so check out Anaïs Nin, Rachel Kramer Bussel or Anne Rice for some saucy titles. But don’t feel you have to stick with erotic lit for reading to each other to be sexy. Anything with lots of passionate, sensual imagery will likely get your wheels turning.

2) “Would you rather…”

This can be a fun way to understand each other’s preferences. Get creative! You’ll likely end up acting one of them out, cracking up or both! Here are some ideas: “Would you rather always have the lights on or off?” “Would you rather have sex in the morning or evening?” “Would you rather be kissed on the ___ or the ___?”

3) “It was super hot when you…”

Recapping your sexiest memories of your partner can open up another dimension of your sex life. Be bold and tell your partner what you love most about his bedroom style. It’s encouraging, builds up his sexual confidence and lets him know what you like. It’s a win-win situation. He’ll likely reciprocate too!


Are Men Getting Most Of The Pleasure In Sex?


If someone asks, when was the last time that you had great sex with an amazing orgasm, was it this past week, a month ago or has it been years? Most men will answer, “this past week,” while an amazing array of strong passionate women will have difficulty remembering. Why is that?

Is it because men, more than women are motivated by sex? We know that men are wired differently than women, but it isn’t the fact that men are more motivated by sex. Most men experience orgasm almost every time they have sex. Yet over 48% of women don’t. In a recent study by a urology clinic in New Jersey, the number one complaint of 54% of women 18 – 30, was inability to orgasm, where 48% of women 31 – 45 years of age, had the same complaint.

Since our sexuality is the core of our very being, being non-orgasmic can take a serious toll on self esteem and our sense of wholeness. Many women wonder if there is something wrong with them when they don’t orgasm with regularity. Even some misinformed doctors think if it takes 40 minutes to orgasm there is something wrong. The issue is that women are not men. We need different forms of stimulation.

Women need to be aroused longer than a man does to be able to orgasm. Most women need 20 to 40 minutes of stimulation to orgasm, where most men need 2 – 3 minutes, or even less. You see the disparity. Just because a woman is wet, does not mean she is ready for sex. Women are like diesel engines, needing to be warmed up before their engine is cranked. Most men on the other hand are like a Ferrari on nitrous oxide, revving their engine, ready to blast off. The higher a woman’s self esteem is, the more likely she is to orgasm easily. This is partly because fear can block an orgasm from occurring. Women with high self esteem have fewer fears.

If a woman does not trust her partner, it can be difficult for her to reach orgasm. Women who have had sexual abuse, rape or other sexual trauma can have a lifetime of difficulty with sexual dysfunction (being non-orgasmic), unless they undergo a guided sexual healing. There is hope for those who are non-orgasmic.

Sexual trauma causes the body to go into fight, flight or freeze mode. Unfortunately many women are not aware of the armoring that the body creates to counteract and deal with sexual trauma. Body armoring causes the energy of fear and shame to be stored in the cells of the vaginal wall, upper thighs and G-Spot. This armoring causes the inside of the vagina to be numbed. This numbing diminishes the amount of pleasure a woman can experience through digital stimulation or penile penetration, even to the point of vaginal sensitivity and intense pain. There is hope for those who are non-orgasmic. There are sensitive healers, like myself, that can teach you the steps to take, or you could visit a Tantrika to have the healing done in a session, hands on.

For those wondering about the G-spot, whether it is real, or only something porn stars have, I assure you it is real and every woman with a vagina, has the ability to have an ejaculatory orgasm. Unfortunately, most women do not get the stimulation required to arouse this amazing and sensual center. It can take 20 minutes of direct stimulation before it becomes engorged enough to be in evidence.

The G-spot is located inside the vagina on the upper wall approximately an inch and a half to two inches inside the vaginal opening, north, towards the navel. To be able to stimulate this spot, a come hither finger motion needs to be used inside, curling the hand upward. The G-spot is thought to be the root of the clitoris, which is located just above the opening of the vagina. It is a highly sensitive area, that needs stimulation directly, to be found. (You would be surprised at how many men think that the clitoris is the woman’s G-spot.) Is it any wonder that over half of the women on this planet can’t orgasm?

Knowing your body, what feels good is key to being able to demonstrate to your partner what they need to do for you. Talking about what works for you, when you are outside of the bedroom, will help your experience inside the bedroom be more pleasurable. The problem is many women are afraid to speak up about what they want. It often takes women till they are in their 50’s before they feel confident enough to talk about what turns them on. Hopefully, this article will motivate everyone to open up a discussion about who does what to whom and for how long?

The interesting fact about men and women though is that both can bring themselves to orgasm in about the same amount of time, four minutes. The great thing about masturbation is that it is safe sex. In fact, it is the safest sex you can have, unless of course you attempt to use an object not meant for sex, like a vacuum cleaner.

While we are discussing the reasons women are not having as much fun as their male counterparts, it is important to note that 75% of women do not have an orgasm through penetrative sex alone. Yet most men still make love to their partners this way. The reason is that most men prefer to have penetrative sex to orgasm. It is what makes a man feel like a man. Clearly there is a disconnect. Most men in their 50’s are not aware of this fact. If women don’t come to orgasm through penetrative sex, their partners need to adopt techniques that do get them to experience a fleeting glimpse of God.

Talking about sex is an important part of receiving pleasure. We can’t expect our partners to just know. Even if we are intuitive, it is best to discuss what feels good to you, so that there is no misunderstanding. We need to walk them through our playground, joyfully, maybe with a roadmap, arrows and the most important parts highlighted.

I have interviewed hundreds of men about the subject of women’s pleasure. Most men say that their woman always has an orgasm. The statistics paint a very different picture. 80% of women fake orgasm because their men are not stimulating them long enough to get them there. The problem is that most women aren’t talking. With this 80% statistic in hand, most men still say, they know for a certainty that their woman comes every time. How can you be so sure?

Most heterosexual men like the feeling of being inside a woman. However a woman’s most sensitive spot, her clitoris is not stimulated through penetrative sex, especially when the man is on top. What is so important about that? A woman’s clitoris (C-spot) has twice the number of sensitive nerve endings than a man’s penis has. If the C-spot is not getting focused attention, for long enough, you may not be able to orgasm at all.

Open communication is clearly lacking in most relationships when it comes to sex. Do some sexploration to find out what feels good to you. Praise your partner for what they do well, then ask gently for what you want. Appreciate their effort, gently guide them with a smile. Remember guys, ladies come first, last and always!

Jennifer Elizabeth Masters is a love and passion coach, author of Orgasm For Life, available on Amazon.com. Her own struggle and subsequent awakening has shifted her experience of life, men and sex profoundly. She helps women find their purpose, passion and thrive in love. Her personal experience is what put her on the Orgasm For Life train, coupled with guidance from The Divine to write about sex. Jennifer is passionate about love, self love to be exact. She is an adventurer of life, maybe even part gypsy. Her belief is that our experiences in life add richness and depth to our soul. Born in Toronto, she has lived in Montreal, London, Gaithersburg, Maryland, Atlanta, Boulder and now the desert of California. She is a prolific writer, visit her blog, Love Yourself Fearlessly .

How Much Sex Is Too Much? Doctors and Sex Experts Weigh In



By Justin Demarco | MensFitness.com

There are some things guys just can’t get enough of—quoting old movies, for example, or football. Then there are other things that they can most definitely do without, like the most popular song of the summer that’s played over and over and won’t go away.

When it comes to sex, however, a lot of guys like to think their horizons are unlimited. You can never have too much sex, Mr. Champion Sex-Haver will say, giving you a lecherous wink while Walk The Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance” plays somewhere off in the distance.

But are guys really telling the truth about the amount of sex they can handle (or even how much they want to have)? “You can’t handle the truth,” Jack Nicholson’s character inA Few Good Men would say—movie quote!—but we think you can handle the truth.

“This needs to be answered like all the other ‘too much of a good thing’ questions,” says Ursula Ofman, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in private practice in New York City. “If sex begins to take over your day and your thoughts, starts interfering with your relationships, work and family life, then you have reached the area of ‘too much.’”

Some facts: 18-29 year olds have sex 112 times per year, on average, according to The Kinsey Institute. It’s 86 times per year for 30-39 year olds, and 69 times per year for those ages 40-49. So if you’re having more than the average amount of sex per year for your age, are you having too much sex? Or are you just doing what people do?

“Frankly, asking how much sex is too much sex is a little bit like asking how many drinks makes a person an alcoholic,” says Robert Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S, a senior vice president of clinical development at Elements Behavioral Health and the author of Always Turned On: Sex Addiction in the Digital Age. “This approach fails to recognize that with booze, it’s not a matter of how much you drink, it’s a question of how it affects your life. If alcohol is consistently creating problems for you, then you might want to look at your drinking. Sex is the same way.”

Medically speaking, “there’s no such thing as too much sex,” says Lauren F. Streicher, M.D., says associate clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and the author of Sex Rx: Hormones, Health and Your Best Sex Ever. “Obviously, listen to your body. If you’re sore or tired, then don’t have sex.”

We can’t overstate that last piece of advice. Couples in long-distance relationships often overdo it sexually when they’re finally reunited, especially if they know their time together is limited, says Jonthan D. Schiff, M.D., assistant clinical professor of urology at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.