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How To Improve Sex Life With Your Regular Partner?

Having sex with someone for the first time can be awkward, scary, and exciting at the same time. It takes a few months for partners to learn more about each other’s sexual preferences and open up sexually.

Nonetheless, after some time, sex life in a relationship can just get worse. In fact, sexual boredom affects almost every couple at least once in their relationship. Studies show that the number of love hormones (oxytocin) decreases each year.

Not everyone has fireworks in the bedroom. However, it doesn’t mean that partners should just accept the lack of satisfying sex and do nothing about it.

According to an Australian sex therapist Bettina Arndt, restarting the relationship and improving sex life is possible if both partners are interested in making this work. Bettina Arndt stresses the importance of having great sex in a relationship. It’s not only about physical pleasure, but it also indicates passion and trust between partners. That’s what you can do in order to improve your sex life:

Honest conversation

Sex therapists know how to have better sex. The first thing they recommend couples to do is to have an honest conversation. The other person can’t read your thoughts, that’s why you shouldn’t expect that one day your loved one will scream: ‘Oh! Eureka! I realized that you don’t like sex with me because I always ignore your emotions and never try what you suggest! Let me fix it.’ Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like this in real life.

If you want to tell your partner about sexual boredom in your relationship, make sure to find the right time. You might want to avoid raising this issue right after sex since it can hurt your partner’s feelings.

Also, don’t try to complain and blame them (even if you are sure it’s completely their fault). Instead, make some suggestions on how you can improve sex life together. Moreover, you should give your partner a chance to describe their experience as well. If you don’t feel comfortable saying about your fantasies out loud, feel free to initiate role-play in your bedroom in a subtle way.

You should be prepared to solve other related problems as well. There is a chance that sexual boredom is just a smokescreen. What if your partner stopped initiating sex because they are exhausted and need some help from your side? That’s why you both should come to the table and honestly answer the question: ‘What is holding us back?’

Try new things

To get the sexual spark back, you need to get to know your partner once again. Novelty and uncertainty can add some excitement to your sex life. That’s why you should consider going on a trip together or planning a surprise for your partner.

According to studies, exploring new places and learning things can reinvigorate adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin. Exactly what your brain needs in order to turn on!

Dating your partner, travelling, and trying new things together will help you keep intimacy alive in your relationship.

Take care of yourself

Some people get too comfortable in their relationships. They stop spending time with their friends and looking after themselves. If you don’t remember the last you’ve done something nice for yourself, it’s time to take a break in the relationship.

Taking a break doesn’t imply deleting your partner’s number or cheating on them. You need to take some time for yourself and do things you want. For instance, you can spend a weekend with your parents or friends, start working out, go to the concert, or learn horse riding. After you spoil yourself (at least a little bit), share new ideas and experiences with your loved one.

This time apart will boost your energy levels, refresh your focus, and help to create sexual tension.

Set the mood

Despite the significant amount of sex toys, positions, and guides on the Internet, the brain remains the biggest sex organ. That’s why you should set your intentions and boost your partner’s desire. Here is what you can do:

  • Make eye contact
  • Send naughty message
  • Tough them subtly
  • Show your partner your love
  • Dress up
  • Dim the light
  • Roleplay

Try to diversify your sex life by stretching your boundaries. Role-play can help with that. Tell your loved one about your fantasies in order to spice up your relationship.

The bottom line

It has been proven that the number of love hormones decreases with time. This, in turn, leads to sexual boredom in the relationship. According to sex therapists, a lack of physical intimacy may indicate deeper problems between partners. That’s why you should have an honest conversation with your loved one in order to bring the sexual spark back. Try new things together (inside and outside of your bedroom) and make sure to take care of yourself. In order to boost your partner’s desire, set the mood, surprise them and show your affection.




Fun & Pleasure Go Together: Try These 7 Tantric Sex Games

sexy couple playing in bedBy Ava Cadell | Your Tango

Get ready for a unique journey of sensual and sexual exploration.

Related Article: Practice Ecstatic Breath For Enlightened Sex & More Orgasmic Pleasure

Tantra is a Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) word that means to weave energy, specifically Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy, between two lovers. This energy includes our thoughts and feelings and physical and sexual actions.

I’d like to welcome you to a unique journey of sensual and sexual exploration that will prepare you for the 5,000-year-old practice of Tantra. Tantra can improve intimate communication and enhance a relationship that has lost its sizzle and spice.

For women, Tantra can empower and fulfill their sensual needs; For men, it can open up a whole new world to intimacy. For couples, it’s an opportunity to create a more meaningful, intimate and spiritual connection.

This is an ancient form of worshiping and loving each other. So, get ready to explore new sexual territory with the following Tantric sexercises.

First, you need to prepare a few props to make your Tantra experience even more memorable and magical. Find a scarf that you can use as a blindfold to take away one of your lover’s senses. Make sure you have some massage oil, water-based lubricant, and last but not least, some feathers. These will complete your prop list.

The following Tantric sex games are all about enjoying the journey of sensuality as opposed to the destination of orgasm.

Related Article: A Simple & Fun Guide on How to Have Sacred (Tantric) Sex

1. Striptease

Take turns taking off three pieces of your clothing for your lover slowly and provocatively. Add music so that you move your body to the rhythm.

2. Symphony

Imagine you’re a musician, choose an instrument, and play a rhythm on your lover‘s naked body for at least five minutes. Your lover has to guess what kind of instrument you are and what tune you’re playing. Then alternate.

3. Surrender

Surrender yourself to your lover and let him/her caresses and kiss you wherever he/she wants for five minutes, then alternate. Use a blindfold or even restraints.

4. Tantric Breath

Blow your warm breath all over your lover’s naked body from their neck to their toes, both sides and then alternate. You can also use a feather to tickle one part of their body while you’re blowing your warm breath on another part.

Related Article: Tantric Intimacy & Sex: Why It’s Important

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How To Create Emotional Intimacy & Have Better Sex With Your Partner

By Elsbeth Meuth & Freddy Zental Weaver | Your Tango

You don’t have to wait for desire to be intimate.

Sex and intimacy are important parts of any relationship. But it’s normal for people to wonder how to have better sex with their partner.

After all, being intimate brings you together not just physically, but also gives you a strong basis of emotional intimacy on which to build your relationship and make it stronger.

Your physical (sexual) and emotional being are impulse-based. Everyone comes with sexual energy and a need to be intimate with the one they love. It’s a central part of your makeup.

The ingredients of sexual energy are pleasure and creativity, which are built into people. But unless you become conscious of and master your sexual energy, sexual energy masters you.

Some people are obsessed with it, and others are suppressed by it. These are two sides of the same coin.

Here is how to have good sex with your partner by understanding your sexual needs and creating a deep, intimate connection together.

There is a biological aspect of sexual energy for everyone. For men, sexual energy is based on testosterone, the “quick” hormone. For women, however, sexual energy is based in estrogen, the “slow” hormone.

Desire and arousal are reflexes. If you want to know how to have better sex, you must learn to master the reflex in yourself.

Emotional intimacy and energy are also on a biological aspect. When you get angry, you don’t decide to get angry. The anger impulse comes over you while your adrenal shoots up.

This sensation can make you feel out of control of your emotions. But by bringing consciousness to your emotionality — yes, even your sexuality — you can help control the reflex.

Instead of waiting to get aroused, you can have more choice over when you want to be intimate with your partner, which will put you both on a better pattern together.

You’ll do this by bringing awareness and consciousness to the dimensions of the sexual and emotional self.

But how do you control this sensation?

By letting your emotional state choose when you experience things, you’re limiting how well you can love and be loved by your partner.

Jealousy, for example, is based on the need to have the exclusive attention of another. This implies that you can only feel yourself or be complete and whole when you have this exclusive attention.

You don’t feel like you’re in love or being loved without that need setting in.

To overcome this sensation, it requires intellect and experience. It has to do with tapping into where the neediness may come from, like childhood experiences and decisions you made in order to cope.

Once you clear the sense of neediness and incompleteness within yourself and start experiencing wholeness and oneness within, you see not only yourself as a whole and complete, you’ll also see the other person as a whole and complete within themselves — independently from you.

There is no “need” for each other any longer. You can choose to share your love and resources together instead of reacting to your emotional state. Their attention will not affect your “wholeness.”

That is where jealousy decreases and dwindles.

And just like how you can control your response to jealousy, you can also learn to control your arousal response. You’ll learn to “move” this energy and channel it.

Consciously channeling and circulating aroused sexual energy allows you to experience prolonged states of orgasmic bliss without consummation — either solo or with your partner. This state of being will enliven and imbues our emotional, mental, and spiritual self.

Consciously channeling and circulating aroused sexual energy allows you to experience prolonged states of orgasmic bliss without consummation — either solo or with your partner. This state of being will enliven and imbues our emotional, mental, and spiritual self.

Ultimately, you can channel that energy to connect with the universe or bring into manifestation your dreams. After all, sexual energy is creative … so you can use that energy to turbocharge what you want to realize.

Becoming conscious and aware of your life force or sexual energy is a key component of the tantric practice.

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3 Ways You Can Breathe That Lead to Better Sex

couple practicing breathing exercises-compressed

By Donna Turner | Lelo

Good sex is really simple. That’s what makes it so complicated.

There are countless ways to enhance the pleasure of sex. Sexual moisturizers and introducing sex toys into the bedroom are both ways to immediately start exploring new sexual avenues. Reading erotica, watching adult films together, finding new and exciting places to make love – all of these are exhilarating ways to have better sex.

Related Article: 13 Hot Love Making Positions for a Sexier Summer

But, when it comes down to it, your body and your mind are your most important sexual assets, and there are some tricks and trips you should try if you want to improve your sexual performance. One such trick is controlling your breathing, and that’s what we’re looking at today.

Any time we engage in any physical activity, from walking up stairs to lifting weights, we need to breathe, and sex is most definitely a physical activity. The problem is, when it comes to straining through that physical activity, we tend to hold our breath. Whether we’re lifting weights or having sex, we’re often not breathing efficiently, and as a result our body is not working as well as it could or should be.

You ever listen to boxers, or professional weightlifters? They exhale or inhale with every effort. They condition themselves and train themselves to use their breathing to help control their muscles. The same is absolutely true of sex: learn to use your breathing, and you learn to enjoy a new type of euphoria during sex. And the best part is, you don’t need to be a fitness fanatic or a tantra practitioner to do it (but if you’ve ever taken a yoga class, you’re already at an advantage).

What are the Benefits?

Consciously controlled breathing has a huge amount of benefits. For one, it can help you overcome resistance, so synchronizing your breathing with your body can quickly help ease any difficulty during, for example, anal sex, and can help make anal sex easier and more comfortable.

But it doesn’t stop there. Holding your breath reduces the amount of oxygen arriving at the muscles your body is using: it makes you more tired, faster. As a result, your energy levels can dip, his erection can soften, her arousal can lessen, and the sex will end faster. Controlling your breathing will prolong sex, make him harder for longer, delay both your orgasms, and make your climax more intense when it arrives.

Related Article: Can Sex Be a Direct Path to More Personal Growth? You Betcha! Here’s How

You know the best thing about oxygen? It gets you high. Deep breathing during sex elevates the sensation of euphoria. The more you breathe, the better you feel, and the better you feel, the better the sex.

How do I do it?

1. Breathe deep.

We mentioned yoga earlier. In yoga, the instructor will tell you to breathe from the abdomen, using your stomach muscles to pull air down into your body. This isn’t quite as simple as it sounds, and it takes practice, but it’s worth it – not just for sex, but for everyday life.

2. Synchronize your breathing.

When you’re making love, make a conscious effort to make your breathing patterns match. While counting during sex is far from sexy, a good pattern is to inhale slowly for five seconds, hold your breath for three seconds, exhale for seven seconds and then “observe the space at the end of the breath” – that is, pause for a couple of seconds after you’ve breathed out. It is of course not realistic to maintain this pattern throughout sex, but it’s a good guideline, and by matching your breathing patterns with your partner’s, your entire bodies will be in synch too.

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The 5 Most Common Myths About Sacred Sexuality

couple tantra

By Devi Bliss | Happy Sexy Guru

Spiritual sex is a set of practices that gently dissolve the hard, confining boundaries of body and mind that prevent you from experiencing all you possibly can when being intimate with another. It’s a merging with your beloved into an ecstatic place where you can experience higher awareness, harmony, divine energy and a sense of union with the Cosmos. This transcendent experience is both accessible and natural, without have to join a cult, change your identity or up-end your schedule.

Still, the term Sacred Sexuality (aka Spiritual Sex) can conjure up a whole array of inaccuracies and falsehoods in people’s minds.

Here are 5 of the most common myths:

1. You need to change your religion to practice Sacred Sexuality

Hardly. You need not even consider religion. Spiritual sex is not religious; rather, it’s a collection of techniques to facilitate a way of being together that invites a sacred quality and spiritual grace into your coupling. You need not specify beliefs about God. In some cases, people employ visualizations of deities, such as those from the Hindu pantheon during tantric sex, but this is not central to spiritual sex practices.

2. Sex should be spontaneous and Spiritual sex is too contrived

There is a popular misconception that the best sex is spontaneous. Yet, Spontaneity is like eating impulse food, high over-rated. Do you really want to chow down at Burger King every night? Anyone in a longterm relationship knows that you must consciously attend to your sex life to keep the sparks of intimacy alive. So, now i the time to create sensual bathing and touch rituals with your beloved. Arrange a sacred evening where you both go slow, highly aware and sensitive to every touch you offer and receive. Such deliberative efforts can transport take you and your partner to a blissfully relaxed but aroused state. Happily, spontaneity does manifests during the event itself. For busy couples, spontaneous sex is not so easy. For some, planned sex seems contrived, however, when you’re eagerly anticipating a sexy encounter, your pheromone output along with the endorphins and opiates coursing through your body increase exponentially. Spontaneity is great at times, but it isn’t always conducive to spiritual sex, particularly in a longterm relationships. It is fun once in a while but not all of the time.

3. Spiritual sex is a time-consuming production so a tremendous amount of patience is needed

You may think you wouldn’t want to make love for hours on end, but once you get into the practice, those hours can just melt by! Also, once you become experienced and see where these practices can take you, you may have ‘spiritual quickies’ where you can get to that same ultra-sensual, emotional, space very fast. You may go there for just 10 minutes and emerge feeling hugely satisfied and more deeply connected with your partner. Not all lovemaking requires genital contact and coitus. You can co-create sensual experiences with your beloved involving touch, massage, eye gazing, breathing together or answering a series of spiritual-erotic questions together. The beauty of Spiritual Sex is that can do this for hours or just 30 minutes or so. So, if need be, there are ways to shorten your session while still keeping it intense and rewarding.

4. Spiritual sex means I must be as flexible as a yoga teacher. While it’s awesome and rejuvenating to be extremely limber, it’s not essential. You need not be flexible to eye gaze, sit facing your partner, breathe together or lie in spoon position, your front to your partner’s back. A few Kama Sutra positions are very easy indeed! No two couples are alike. Each couple is a unique combination. You and your lover must identify what works for you. Find positions to charge you up, hang out and groove and move together in. You have a myriad of choices.

5. Your partner will think you are crazy if you suggest practicing Sacred Sexuality.

Your partner need not know. Set up a sensual bath or massage time with your partner. Sit on the bed, gaze into your partner’s eyes and suggest that you synchronize your breathing. Practice slow, gentle touching and ask your partner to respond in kind. They will be amazed and think you’re the best lover ever. If your partner wonders after a while how your sex life got so good, you might confess that you’ve been studying neo-tantric intimacy practices. They will likely be eager to buy books and videos on the joys of tantra to keep up with you. (To read more from Devi Bliss, go here.)

RELATED ARTICLES:

In Pursuit of Sacred Sex: Who Will Define the New Sexual Ethics?

The New Sexual Man: Why the “Performance Model” Is on Its Way Out

How To Make Your Sexual Relationship More Reciprocal & Fulfilling