Deepak Chopra implied in his book, The Book of Secrets (very good and worth a read!), that one should hold on to some dreams and desires and keep ones cards close to ones chest. In other words, there are some goals you should never share with others — they are personal and that kind of secret is okay.
At the time of reading this, I was an open book. I was the kind of person who tells everyone everything and doesn't hold back. I trust people very easily so I didn't quite get this at the time…I was soon to learn!
Devious Encounters of a Friendly Kind
On my journey of becoming more self aware and, naturally, becoming more aware of others — I encountered some people (disguised well, as friends and kindred spirits) who have proven Dr Chopra right.
Unfortunate as it is, there are folks out there who like to trample on peoples dreams and instead of being encouraging — they tend to quash your spirit.
They can do this outright (more obvious to spot) but some do this in a covert and subtly insidious manner. They can make you feel like they're doing you a favor by ‘saving you from yourself' when the reality is — they themselves are inept at attaining their goals so they can't have you stealing the spotlight (even if they weren't going to use it).
Spotting a Thief
Trouble is, they come in many shapes and sizes. They pose as friends (or even family members) but are cunning at disguising their true intentions which usually becomes more apparent when the green monster rears its head and you're about to outshine them.
They work well in undermining your dreams in a sometimes very nice and polite way. It can be confusing when a friend or loved one subtly puts you or your dreams down in a way that seems like they're only looking out for you. Before you know it your bonfire has been well and truly pissed on.
And you're left holding the psychological pieces of the puzzle that was once your dream that now lays in pieces on the cold, dead coals.
Employing Armed Response and Protecting Your Dreams
It's usually the softies that get crushed underfoot (I used to be one, so I know what goes through a people-pleaser's self-doubting mind). We tend to take people at face value and trust that they have our best intentions at heart. We even think that other people probably know better than us.
I'm sorry to say that that bubble needs to be popped, the sooner the better!
It's okay to walk away from people like this. I always felt guilty doing it, so I would stay in a friendship just to ‘keep the peace'. Thing is, I wasn't keeping my own peace. Bottom line is: it's just not worth sacrificing your own inner peace for friendships like these.
I still like to adopt a ‘innocent until proven guilty‘ approach with people but I now have a well honed bullshit-o-meter. I've had too many experiences with borderline narcissists to know what one sounds like especially when my gut instinct is sounding alarm bells.
Things you can do to combat such dream thieves are to:
- Develop a good sense of inner discernment/gut feeling or instinct or whatever else you want to call it. Look out for people who hype themselves up whilst subtly putting you down. Stay far away from these people or at the very least (if they are unavoidable) do good aura protection mantras. Read more here: 15 Protection Tips That Keep Out Negative Energy
- Maintain a healthy ego/pride. This is in no way egotistical, it's just having enough self love to have faith in your innate wisdom and to go ahead with any dreams or goals you want to pursue without letting other people dissuade you. Related article: Do You Feel Worthless? 2 Reasons Why You Need to Love YOU. From the wisdom of Wayne Dyer: “Regardless of how absurd your inner callings might seem, they're authentically yours. They don't have to make sense to anyone else. The willingness to listen and act on your inspiration, independent of the opinions of others, is imperative.”
Keeping Good Company
It goes without saying that if you associate with the inspired and the inspiring, you can’t go wrong. Positive people will lift your spirits and motivate you to push your own perceived limitations and boundaries.
You can’t lead an inspired life by hanging around people who are a constant source of negativity — that makes about as much sense as a bird tying weights to its wings to gain more height.
Your mom was right — sometimes ‘hanging out with the wrong sort‘ could be a make or break situation. It takes time, trial and error to know these things but it's a lesson well worth learning.
Choose your company wisely!
Cherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.
To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE.
Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie on Facebook (The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She also has just recently launched her official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates).
Cherie posts a new article on CLN every Thursday. To view her articles, click HERE.
This article (How to Recognize a Dream Thief) was originally written for and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author Cherie Roe Dirksen and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.
Tamaryn Leigh Ankiewicz
Thank you, I can relate to this . Was married to a dream thief for too long.
Ulas Ayx
Sorry to hear that, Luciano…but at least now you’ll be savvy in spotting one 😉 Good luck with those dreams! xxx