I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I've been tested and stretched this year and April has just begun. And what's weird is I'm not bitching about it or anything, but rather I'm just kinda here in the back row with a bag of popcorn with extra butter enjoying every single second as I sit on the edge of my seat. And while it's been trying, painful, confusing as all hell, and of course let's not forget scary, I feel like I have been cleaning a proverbial pair of cosmic glasses I refuse to throw away. And for the first time, I am stopping, not to consider whether they are clean enough, but whether or not I still need glasses at all.
Well, of course I do my eyes suck and I've been wearing contact lenses since the age of 12. 😉 But what I'm getting at here is I've been looking at life through some seriously stubborn ass filters that for so long I had convinced myself was “me” and a concrete, solid part of my identity and who I am.
But the longer I date someone who is just like me in so many damn ways, but in the ways that matter, my absolute complete and udder opposite, I also learn to embrace those dualistic parts within myself. I learn to recognize and discern between the judgments I surpass as things I am projecting and things that I genuinely am picking up on that he needs my help pointing out that he is simply not aware of.
And that's the beauty of dating your opposite. They see the world and YOU from completely unique angles and views. They can offer different perspectives on things bothering you, issues you are trying to work out, assumptions you made, conclusions you came to too soon or not quick enough, etc. And vice versa as you can offer the same extra eyes for your partner as well. Unfamiliar and different does not always have to be a bad thing as society tends to teach us. We can learn so much from what we don't know…but we will never learn, what we don't want to know.
So often we are taught to draw within the lines and stay within our comfort zones, but the more my partner pushes me to live freely and courageously and to grab life by the horns, the more I have the confidence in myself to actually believe I can do it. I mean really believe it. And this has taught me to view fear differently as well; which has held me back from taking so many chances.
I am learning that we should not strive for fearlessness because that almost implies an ignorance of fear or a lack of acknowledging it. I want to sit with my fear; I want to face it. Fear is always there and always has been and always will be. It's never going away. It's not something we fight, deny, or run from. It's not something we seek to destroy. We simply face it. We give it a seat at the table. And then we tell it to shut the hell up. 🙂
You see if we can at least learn to work with our fear, we can begin to use our courage as a tool for creativity and this accounts for all areas of our lives. As dark is not the opposite of light, but rather the absence of it, fearlessness is not the opposite of fear. If I had to say, it would be love that is the opposite of fear. And I say that because when you turn away from fear it consumes you, but when you face it, it goes away. But love is all-encompassing in all directions.
And the effect dating your opposite can have on you is kind of just as insightful. Without saying a word, my partner has spoken hours of wisdom into the deepest parts of my soul. When I look into his eyes and see the appreciation for what is strong in me soothing his weaknesses, it finally allows me a safe space for me to be vulnerable.
I have never been one to trust people very much, even though I've always been one to bend over backward for any and everyone I could. I love helping people and I get tremendous joy by bringing joy to others. But when I get close, I get closed. I realize this over-giving is actually a defense mechanism and another thing dating my opposite has taught is how to receive with grace.
For the first time in my life, I am mastering the art of trust. Trust in not only in the Universe to resonate back to me my manifestations, but myself to have the patience to allow it to happen and to make the choices and do the work I need to. But most of all, trust in others. Without trust, the reflections repel and we are blinded by the lessons they carry. But when the bond is solid, dating your opposite can be the most magnetic experience of your life and something you will always love to be in love with.
Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com
Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.
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This article was originally created and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to Tamara Rant and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.
