I recently watched Little Fires Everywhere, a 2021 Hulu original series. As a very compelling drama, it spoke to issues that have been highlighted in the current events of our collective experience. It is one of those shows that hits you in the face and makes you think. It keeps you interested with superb acting including Reese Witherspoon, and brilliant portrayals by Kerry Washington, Lexi Underwood and Megan Stott.
From my perspective the overt themes were racism, prejudice, extremism, sexual choices, life choices, supremacy, white privilege, male dominance, gender roles and probably others. But I really saw the main theme as the shadow self.
What is the shadow self?
It is pieces of ourselves we suppress because they are too difficult to process. Little Fires shows a particular process in which the shadow self takes control. As a result of suppressing, we hide our raw feelings. Honesty and integrity take a side line as way to protect our vulnerable self. Blame takes the course and shifts our uncomfortable position to ease the tension for a brief amount of time until we can suppress our emotions and feelings even more. Overtime we lose sight of who we really are and succumb to a challenging life of strife and conflict.
How can we regain who we really are? Isn’t there more to life than having a source of income? Necessary for sure, but have we as a modern society lost our true identity? Are we living an illusion that is based on what someone, then many agreed to? An illusion that life is difficult and you must work hard to succeed? What is success?
As I thought about the movie and how life is often portrayed in the media as dramatic and difficult, I came back to my “knowing” of what most of us really want. Freedom, the ability to choose our path and then the peace and contentment that accompany that choice. When we look at what we really want, we often see something that is just outside our reach, it is like a vision of sorts. It is in our mind and sometimes our heart. We feel it and know there is something more.
How can we regain who we really are and live the life that offers peace and contentment, the more?
To thy own self be true. One must get to know the “real” self. The one that carries your body around. Yes, it’s true, you are not your body. Your body is a vehicle to experience life on the physical plane called Earth. Maybe you espouse this or maybe this is a new concept. But one thing I have learned from observation and through my life is this:regaining the true self takes work. However for some it may be easier or difficult; however it is a choice to be made at some point along the path.
So here is the predicament, on the Earth plane; life can be messy. Yet, with some tools, a choice and some time, it can also be peaceful in spite of the mess. Maybe a mess becomes irrelevant at some point and “fires don’t have to be lit” to get someones attention.
These days where the mass media cries, “Look out, it’s terrible out there.” We can turn from that noise and look elsewhere for wisdom and sage teachings. The number of people that understand and live beyond the illusion of suffering and being a victim is growing! You can as well. If you have read this far, then you may be searching for the right way or for answers. Maybe you just need the question. Just know, everything you need is within you. That may seem too simplistic, especially since I just mentioned it takes time and work, yet it is a true statement.
Remember everything you need is within you. When you really get this concept, then work is not work; it is a passion.
Where to begin? One way is to sit quietly, preferably alone and undisturbed. Take some deep breaths, holding a few seconds after each as you can, letting them go slowly and then ask: What am I to know right now? You can also ask to be guided to someone, a teacher, or a book that can lead you. Have you heard? When you are ready, a teacher will appear.
We all have been conditioned through our environment, education, family to believe certain things about life. I love the line in new book, The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse, “I wonder if there is a school of unlearning?”Yes, there is! That is what takes time. So, when one is ready, the teacher appears. That teacher resides within you and sometimes we need a little help from our friends to reach that teacher and learn the beautiful truth. We do have every answer to any question or solution to any delimma tucked right in our heart, the seat of our knowing.
I encourage you, get to know the “real” you. It will be the best relationship you have ever experienced.
Julia Parsell is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor with an emphasis on the intersection of science and the sacred. She writes from experiences and transformative understandings that have led her to an authentic and peaceful life. She goes by these names: wife, daughter, grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, and friend. As home educator of her three children, she also developed/ran cafes, and maintained various leadership roles within her community. Her greatest desire is to encourage others to live life fully. Her passions are family, art creation, writing, and trail blazing. She is happily married in Western North Carolina.
