So, there’s a girl you found on Instagram who’s caught your eye? And you’re wanting to “slide into her DMs?” Before you make a mistake and get yourself blocked, read on below.
It’s easy to give the wrong impression over social media, especially with so many predators out there flooding women’s inboxes. You don’t want to be lumped together with the “creeps,” and there are a few steps you can take to set yourself apart from that category.
Whatever the social media platform, these rules will help you show up as a tactful, appealing man.
Diversify Your “Likes”
When a girl first gets on your radar, you can begin to connect simply by engaging with her content. But if you are only liking photos of this girl in her bikini and ignoring the rest, she’s going to be onto you. This is a surefire way to show her that you don’t care about her, you’re only interested in her for your personal desires.
She probably won’t block you, but she will close off to you, making connecting with her far more difficult. Take note of the variety of posts she shares and take an interest in each of these areas. Maybe it’s her cat, trail running, and tanning at the beach. Show interest in all these things.
But…Don’t Go Overboard
You do want to be careful not to like every photo or look at every story. Overly engaging is a red flag to women. She could begin to feel concerned that you could become a stalker, and you could get blocked. And if you happen to be online right when she posts, give in 20 minutes or so. That instant-like can be a bit creepy, and it also suggests you spend too much time on social media, which, I promise, women do not find attractive.
Your First Message Should Be Platonic
After you’ve been following a woman for a while, you can start to consider sending her a personal message. It’s definitely a good sign if she has followed you back and engaged on your posts, but if she still doesn’t seem to know you exist, it’s still worth a shot to strike up a conversation.
The easiest way to get into that conversation is to respond to an overtly non-sexual post or story. If her cat did something entertaining, you can let her know you think it’s funny, too: “Lmao (or emoji!). What a cutie. How long have you had him?” This is a harmless and friendly approach that puts the ball in her court.
Chances are that she will respond, since she probably loves talking about her cat and appreciates getting attention from you. If you can make her feel safer, she is far more likely to open up to you and really connect.
Give Her a Chance to Initiate
If it seems like you’ve been initiating all the conversations with her, take a bit of time to give her a chance to be the instigator. If she is not reaching out, it’s a pretty sure sign that she isn’t super interested in connecting with you. She may not mind, and even enjoy replying to you when you hit her up, but she isn’t interested in you enough to go out of her way to chat. If this is what you get, you may as well shift your attention elsewhere.
Look for the Signs
As you start connecting more, look for signs of flirtation from her. Playfulness is a good sign that she might want to connect in this way, but remember that silly and playful are different things–be sure to exemplify the latter.
Remember to take things step by step so that you don’t lose her trust. Once she knows that there’s more to you than your sexual desires, a true connection can form. Just remember that you do need to be open to connection in order for any to happen. Otherwise anything you do will fall short.
Be tactful, make space, and let things unfold naturally. Once you’ve earned her trust, the possibilities are endless…