This week I wanted to write about a topic near and dear to my heart; empathy. It goes without saying that feelings of empathy are what connect the hearts of humanity and are the ties that bind us all throughout the cosmos and across all of time and space. It is what allows us to literally step into the shoes of another and experience their perspective, their view, and even sometimes their thoughts, energy, and feelings as intensely and as vividly as they do themselves.
Most of us are born with an innate sense of empathy and if we see someone or something in pain, we get a tingle in our gut that makes us want to reach out and console or help them. We feel deep down that connection I mentioned earlier, even if we cannot on the surface of our consciousness fully understand why or where these feelings are coming from.
In today’s society, sadly many of us are unaware of the magnificent details of this connection and most are certainly not taught about it in school or from our parents. But some of us, those we call Emotional or Intuitive Empaths, are born with such capabilities that they without effort absorb and pick up on the energies, thoughts, and feelings of those around them and therefore are forced to explore this extra-sensory avenue of our physical capabilities. I, to my blessing and also to my demise, am one of these people.
I haven’t shared this truth about myself with many people as I was growing up as even at the age of 3 I knew I was different and felt like an outcast. I knew things adults around me didn’t and frankly, I found out the hard way that most adults do not appreciate being corrected, especially by a child. I got kicked out of Sunday school for asking too many questions about God that couldn’t be answered and often was asked to leave classrooms for the same reason.
I just couldn’t turn off this endless sense of curiosity and wonderment in my brain about the world around me, and with the constant bombardment of emotions, feelings, thoughts, and energy that was not merely of my own creation, but of those around me, I was always stimulated, energetically triggered, pushed and pulled emotionally and for a kid not knowing what the hell is happening, it can be quite confusing.
Universities even studied my abilities as a child, but for me personally, it was up to me to find out the answers about who I was, what these gifts were, why they were endowed to me, and what purpose they served for me on my path in life. For many years I hated them and just wanted them to go away. I hid them from my friends and just played the role of the friend who always gave good advice and was a good listener. The friend who always knew what you were feeling. I guess I got pretty good at wearing my masks because I became so embedded in my own disguise that in my 20‘s I had no idea who I was and tried to find myself in drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex and unhealthy relationships that only left me feeling used and abused…and rightly so.
Today, at age 41 I have no regrets and many goals and dreams ahead of me, but I was recently reminded of just how fragile the heart truly is and just how much more growing I have to do. I had thought I knew the scope of my gifts, but I finally know now that I am here to use them for the greater good, not to hide them away in shame. And I feel I’m finally ready to do that. You see when you live for others for your entire life, even the idea of self-love feels foreign to you. It is something that comes riddled with guilt and shame because you are just not used to putting yourself first.
However, I know in my heart of hearts that I must come out of this dark night of the soul rising high with the sun and with pride and remembrance of who I chose to not only be but BECOME in this lifetime. If that can inspire just one person to also have the courage to live their truth and not be afraid of who they are, I will have used my gifts in the way they were intended.
For the majority of my life, I’ve built walls to protect myself and to take care of others. But I realize now and I share this insight with not only other Empaths out there but anyone who feels like they always put themselves out there, just to have their heartbroken over and over again; that we must first LIVE for ourselves so we can LEARN to LOVE for ourselves. Then and only then will we stop breaking our own hearts, and be able to authentically show up in the space that the Universe has carved out just for us. For we are all sparks of divine light, but we must be willing to turn our focus inward because this light resides within our own hearts and can only be seen once we fully embrace our own soul, our own spirit for the perfect imperfection; the sliver of magnificence that it is.
Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com
Tamara posts new original articles to CLN every Saturday.
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