A married couple often loses the spark along the way, when the discussion is about physical intimacy. The love remains, the connection exists but due to age, time or stress, physical intimacy stops being a priority until it becomes a serious problem. A relationship should have both, mental and physical bonding to be successful and honest.
However, many times, there are intimacy issues in a marriage that both partners are not even aware of. These issues arise over time and if not resolved, can lead to permanent damage. Hence, it is vital you know about any such intimacy issues and mutually solve them so that your marriage does not get affected in the long run.
1. Time constraints
Are you complying with everything else except your sex life? Do you make time for work, leisure, and fun but miss out on having time for your partner? Many times, couples complain about having no time for sex, due to exhaustion, work or family commitments.
This issue cannot be resolved even by counselling until and unless you prioritize. Maybe take a day off work, avoid that late-night match or skip a cocktail party, but give your partner the time they deserve, no questions asked.
2. Bed space
As the family grows, you have kids or a pet in your house who isn’t shy to sneak into your bed at night. During young age, parents allow their kids to sleep in with them if they feel scared or lonely. However, try to push your kids to be independent sleepers and maybe find time during the day or on weekends, to have the bed all to yourself.
A babysitter or an all children’s picnic with their friends will enable you with some free time alone. Spending time with your kids is also crucial but don’t let it make your sex life lackluster.
3. Lack of change
In a couple, each partner knows the other well, especially as time progresses. One is well aware of the activities that appeals to the other and what doesn’t. However, not always the daily routine is fun, especially with sex – after a certain point of time, it becomes monotonous. Try to add roleplay, turn things around, find new ideas or enjoy some seduction, all of this can make intimacy interesting and back to normal.
4. Confidence issues
Many times, men and women tend to avoid physical intimacy or get uncomfortable due to the set society standards about physical beauty. Women worry about their size, their skin, and their looks while men worry about circumcision during the time.
This is a major problem and can cause impacts larger than you have imagined. You must feel confident about your own body to enjoy the physical touch of your partner. After all the efforts, if it’s still not gearing up, consult counsellors. Infact, it might also be possible that one partner fails to understand these personal troubles faced by their better half that ultimately culminates into a cause of separation. Hence, confidence comes first, always.
5. Ineffective communication
Couples might be enjoying certain things in bed while being uncomfortable with others. Effective and honest communication with your partner about your time, issues, and fantasies is important to make your physical intimacy fun and fulfilling. If you can’t talk about it, ensuring it works out while in bed is next to impossible. In fact, according to a survey conducted by Durex, it has been revealed that about 50% of couples complained about sexual dissatisfaction. Either the man is suffering from problems like Premature ejaculation or the woman has no libido. Problems like these only increase if there is no effective communication.
Every human being enjoys different things, works differently and has separate wants, so make sure you discuss everything with your partner. This is also the reason why the taboo against sex counselling is vanishing rapidly, encouraging healthy conversation in a closed room where couples are asked to talk it out in the open.
6. Initiation problems
Many times, a couple has distinct roles in both partners, one who is the lead runner and initiates the touch while the other follows the lead. Both partners need to understand who plays which role and not let any ego get in between. Moreover, never try to limit sex as a toxic activity, maybe as a reward or a punishment, which turns this loving soulful consummation into a negative facet.
Sex is a need and a desire of every human being, so there’s no reason why you must shy away from its discussion especially with the person who is your life partner. Moreover, there is no denying that sexless marriages and relationships are gaining frequency and it is increasingly becoming the primary cause of divorce.
Why take the plunge when you can fight it away completely? Don’t let any insecurity, anger or resentment come in between the both of you – intimacy is important (a lot more than you think)!
